Your 20 Watt Lightbulb-actions OR The EB Hall of Shame

[Hax]

So, there is the moment everyone's been waiting for (not really, though)

To counter the threat of the 'Post Heroic' thread by our beloved (again, not really, methinks) Maksimus, here is the Hall of Shame for everyone that plays EB.

Tell us all about your gravest, most infuriating, embarrassing defeats here!

If such a thread already exists, thou mayst poketh out myne eyen.

[Hooahguy]

well, i was attacking Athenai as the Maks in a short-lived capmaign with a full stack & a FM against 5 units of rebels, and thinking i would win, i chose to auto-calc. big mistake. it was a crushing defeat and only a couple hundred of my men survived, not including my FM. i was so mad, i stopped playing the Maks and switched back to my old romani. then 1.0 came, and i went to the baktrians.....

[Danest]

I once took a green 16 yr old family member with unsure troops and an untested hayasdan army with only one unit of horse archers against a seleukid full stack led by the 5 star faction leader. So, honestly, I don't think many of you can beat that one, as far as bad ideas in the hall of shame goes. ;)

[TWFanatic]

Never had any against the AI. I find it simply too stupid to lose to unless I purposely try to put myself in an impossible situation.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Today I sallied out, won a heroic victory against supperior troops with a 2:1 advantage but lost half my army in the process, which caused riots in the city.

That was annoying.

[phonicsmonkey]

In my very first EB battle I decided to test out how difficult the mod would be, and so I just did what I would usually do in RTW and would result in a victory virtually everytime

so I charged my small force of green Aedui spearmen up a hill at a full stack of experienced and bloodthirsty Arveni led by a six (?) star general

o the carnage, 'twas was brutal to behold

:smash:

[Moosemanmoo]

Deployed my awesome elite mak phalanxes in a straight line, so far so good. Ordered them to march forward to attack, they all move to the same point, completely screwing up formation. The AI didn't give me a chance and mercilessly sent it's entire gallatian horde (3 times more of them)


I got raped

[The Persian Cataphract]

I got raped

...You know, that's a very courageous confession ~:joker:

<_<

>_>

Were you in prison or something?

Sorry, I couldn't resist

[konny]

Beat this: I lost a defensive bridge-battle with a full stack of expensive mercs inclduing one phalanx, let by an experinced FM. I still don't know what exactly had happened, but suddenly I had a chain route and all were running for safety across the bridge :wall:. No chance to rally them again, all were slaughtered instantly. The last thing I did was to charge the general into the next enemy phalanx, because that was something he could have hardly explained to the king.

[Boyar Son]

I lost one of my _best_ generals in a battle while seiging patavium.

never use commanding generals to attack ever again.

[konny]

Mounted generals, Romans in particular, have no business in a siege battle in EB. That was something I learned - by the loss of Cotta - in my very first EB campaign assaulting Taras.

[Bonny]

It happend in EB 1.0.

My Karthadast Army led by the famous spartan merc Xanthippos and his first officer Hamilkar Barkas attacked a Roman Army with 2 reinforcements near Capua. He had a 1:3 disadvantage but he underestimating the AI.

On the beginning of the battle he send all troops to a big rock in the center of the battlefield. The first roman Army reached the karthadastim line just as they had arrived and formed up. The battle was long and on the beginning the Libu Phoenicians were almost able to crush the first Legion, but then the other two Legions arrived at the side of battle and attacked from the left and rigth flank. Eventually a roman general and some units of triarii broke the left Karthadastim flank and killed Hamilkar. At this moment Xanthippus realized that he could not win this battle and tried to escape, saving at least his life and that of his remaining soldiers. In a desperate move he broke though the right flank and escaped with what was left of his once mighty forces.

The defeat was crushing although a roman Legion had been destroyed and some units including Xanthippus could escape. But for Rome ist was not over yet. In the next turn a roman assasin killed Xanthippus and a roman expeditonary force killed all who had survived.
It was a bad day for the Safot Sofim bi Quarthadast....:shame:

[Boyar Son]

Mounted generals, Romans in particular, have no business in a siege battle in EB. That was something I learned - by the loss of Cotta - in my very first EB campaign assaulting Taras.

is there _any_ general that can stand in a melee?

[Admetos]

It happend in EB 1.0.

My Karthadast Army led by the famous spartan merc Xanthippos and his first officer Hamilkar Barkas attacked a Roman Army with 2 reinforcements near Capua. He had a 1:3 disadvantage but he underestimating the AI.

On the beginning of the battle he send all troops to a big rock in the center of the battlefield. The first roman Army reached the karthadastim line just as they had arrived and formed up. The battle was long and on the beginning the Libu Phoenicians were almost able to crush the first Legion, but then the other two Legions arrived at the side of battle and attacked from the left and rigth flank. Eventually a roman general and some units of triarii broke the left Karthadastim flank and killed Hamilkar. At this moment Xanthippus realized that he could not win this battle and tried to escape, saving at least his life and that of his remaining soldiers. In a desperate move he broke though the right flank and escaped with what was left of his once mighty forces.

The defeat was crushing although a roman Legion had been destroyed and some units including Xanthippus could escape. But for Rome ist was not over yet. In the next turn a roman assasin killed Xanthippus and a roman expeditonary force killed all who had survived.
It was a bad day for the Safot Sofim bi Quarthadast....:shame:

Ouch!

[Xehh II]

is there _any_ general that can stand in a melee?
KH generals are pretty good in melee

[Mouzafphaerre]

.
Lost my dreaded Lusotannan general who had conquered half of Italy and 2/3rd of Sicily to an earthquake. ~:mecry:
.

[antisocialmunky]

KH generals are pretty good in melee

I've only ever lost one of the KH ones and that was a triple speed melee against the Getaic hordes that too like 2 minutes to resolve itself. I've had another flee from battle THROUGH a Getaic horde too:sweatdrop: .

Also, the Hai and Parthian generals stand well in battle due to their silly armor.

[Constantine the Great]

As the Seleucids, it went like this. I took my king's royal, experienced, elite army out to Krete, took the city, exterminated the population, then moved my king back onto the ships, because I made a type 4 government. I hit end turn, and the entire settlement and army inside of it defect to the KH. Only my naval dominance prevented KH from retrieving it's new elite army and using it to crush me, though it set me back years in my conquest of the Levant. :furious3:

[MiniMe]

Tonight I've lost 7star general, one unit of eles, six Agema Clerouchikon, four Basilikon Agema, two Hetairoi, two Lonchoporoi Hippeis and four Toxotai Siriakoi.
They were sailing to Sicily on a cheap boat.

[tapanojum]

As Lusottan, I spent several turns training the ultimate force that would just smash across the continent conquering everything in its way. After conquering a few settlements, I fight a Qarthadast army 2:3 ratio and am doing great. I zoom in on the front lines to show my friend what RTW-EB is like, only to find my general a minute later sorrounded completely by 2 enemy FM's (I forgot my General was Idle behind my lines), before I could do anything, he died and my entire army routed soon after, taking extremely high casualties and ending this ultimate force I pulled together. My greatest general and force completely wiped out......very pathetic =[

[Geoffrey S]

It's not an EB one, but vanilla RTW. I had a great Roman general with a small group of Romans and a number of mercs attacked by two Makedonian armies in Illyria, outnumbered and outclassed at 3:1. Fighting a defensive battle around a small hill and losing over half the army I finally routed the enemy in a spectacular epic victory. This was marred somewhat by having my star general chasing a routing enemy which was also targeted by some of my slingers, who knocked the poor general of his horse.

[Morte66]

My two worst moments both involve hitting Ctrl-D by accident when I had the stack in a city selected and ready to sally against a besieging army.

[It disbands the selected units, with no "Are you sure?" popup.]

[tapanojum]

My two worst moments both involve hitting Ctrl-D by accident when I had the stack in a city selected and ready to sally against a besieging army.

[It disbands the selected units, with no "Are you sure?" popup.]

The enemy must of been VERY thrilled....did you not reload?

[konny]

is there _any_ general that can stand in a melee?

The two with foot guards (Sweboz and KH) are of course the most valuable units in the early game. Of the mounted generals the Armenian and Pontos ones can be of some use in a siege battle when they manage to get behind the enemy or when facing non-spear units. The Hellenic BGs might do well too, but I usually keep them away from narrow streets.

Equites, Brihentin, and chariots(!) should not enter towns as long as there is anything above skirmishers inside. The chariots not even then.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Successor Generals (the Companion ones) are pretty much lethal against anything no pointing a spear at them. Even then I've seen the AI front-charge a phalanx and live to tell the tale.

[pezhetairoi]

I wonder why you say that about the cavalry, they work very nicely in the cities, as long as infantry is pinning the enemy. After all,that's what cavalry is for. If you use them to take the brunt of the fight, it stands to reason you lose, right?

My worst mistake was strategic. I attacked Antiocheia as Hayasdan even when I had only a single fullstack and knowing AS was allied with the Ptolemaioi. As a result the Yellows entered the fray and pinned down my fullstack in the west while the Seleukids recovered from their initial spate of crushing defeats and attacked me in the east.

[Morte66]

I wonder why you say that about the cavalry, they work very nicely in the cities, as long as infantry is pinning the enemy.

I sometimes get them working nicely if the infantry pins and the cavalry goes around the houses to attack the enemy rear. And sometimes near the gate there's room to hit a flank. But it can be hard to get them to charge with the horrible pathing in towns, and EB cavalry are all about the charge bonus.


My worst mistake was strategic. I attacked Antiocheia [...]

Looking back, I made the same mistake in my last Pontos game. Taking Antiocheia gave me a border with Ptolies. I'd already taken Tarsos and Side and made peace, but once I had a border with them again the AI started a fight pretty quickly and it would never end until I conquered them. This meant I had to fight the AS and the Ptolies at the same time.

I should have worked east through the mountains and down into Mesopotamia, and got my MICs for Kinsmen and Klereuchoi Phalangitai built, before adding the Ptolies to my enemies. Or I could have held choke points against the Greys and expanded across the Aegean and Black Sea.

[woad&fangs]

Two vanilla and one EB

Vanilla 1: As Thrace
My veteran merc army had just taken Patavium with heavy casualties. I was left with roughly the equivalent of a 1/4 stack. A few turns later the Brutii attacked a small nearby field army of mine and the Patavium army was used as the reinforcements. Now then, here is the real kick in the nuts. My Patavium army was led by my faction leader. A 6 star baddie known as Gyros"Scarface". Through a combination of traits and ancillaries (most importantly the horribly scarred trait) he had 16 hitpoints. In his previous battles he had killed more than 4,000 romans with just his bodyguard. He died in under a minute. I still have no idea what happened. Anyways, the rest of my army decided against messing with the Romans at that point and routed.

Vanilla 2: Brittania
My fullstack with the faction leader against two roman full stacks. I used every fear inducing trick in the Brittanian arsenal at once and thus routed one fullstack in less than 20 seconds after our lines met. I then engaged the other roman fullstack in mindless melee where my better equipped army won with medium casualties. I wanted to make sure that they wouldn't bother me again for a long time so I clicked on "continue the battle" 2 seconds later my Faction leader was smoked in the back of the head by my own slingers. grrrrr.

EB: Lusottannaan
Yes, I see that Numantia has a lot of troops. Yes, I know that I have to have a good army to attack them. Yes I can see they have a fullstack. *sieges Numantia with my fullstack(my entire army) and factionleader*. O, so that's what that warning message meant.*looks at the full rebel stack that spawned nearby* Ah, I can take them if I can beat the Numantian army and then fight street battles with the other rebel stack. *dang, that didn't work*

[Puupertti Ruma]

One of my 20 watt lightbulb moments was with Numantia too. After the stack had spawned, I suffered a humiliating defeat, as I had only about a half-stack. That's not so bad. Then I attack it again with about 2/3's of a stack and fail. Don't remember exactly what happened but I got my rear handed to me. Well, being wiser I attack with a good amount of troops and finally destroy that pesky stack. I then carry on to assault Numantia. My plans of just and terrible revenge were somewhat toppled when another stack spawns next to Numantia and eradicate my army, again.

[konny]

But it can be hard to get them to charge with the horrible pathing in towns, and EB cavalry are all about the charge bonus.

Yes, that's it. In street fights there isn't enough room to manouver around, in particular getting cavalry in a good position for a charge. Even more problematic can be to get cavalry out of the fight when it had run into trouble, or to get infantry support close: a unit of Pantodapoi can block your entire infantry for some time, while Hoplites cut down your horsemen that tried to flank the enemy. And don't forget we are talking about FMs.

[Skandaz.Imperator]

I overwrote my germanic AAR :wall:

[Hax]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*screams*

Why?! WHY?!

Your AAR really rocked, man! It's a shame about it, though. Stuff like that happens, I think.

[BerkeleyBoi]

As Saba, I just took Alexandria and Memphis, exterminating both cities. I wanted to continue the offensive without my two prizes revolting, so I used the looted money to hire mercenaries as garrisons before sending my army to conquer more cities. I figured I could hold out in those stone walls against any army.

A few turns later, yellow banners pop up everywhere from my cities in Ethiopia to Arabia. I used all my money to hire the garrisons and ended up losing most of the developed cities while stuck with unrest problems in Egypt and a negative income. I thought no problem, I'll disband most of the mercenaries and just hold those two Egyptian cities with my main forces. I split my main army in half and disband most of the mercs. A stream of yellow banners come marching down from the north. I checked the diplomacy banner and found out that the gray death signed a peace with the yellow death. Without any MICs in Egypt, I could train no new soldiers and didn't have enough money to pay for mercs. I knew all was lost and gathered my shattered armies for one last battle so that my AAR would at least end with some excitement.

Sometimes I think the AI is stupid on purpose so that we would underestimate them up until it suddenly rises up in an explosion of genius... or more likely, just my bad luck...

[Ymarsakar]

<B>Beat this: I lost a defensive bridge-battle with a full stack of expensive mercs inclduing one phalanx, let by an experinced FM. I still don't know what exactly had happened, but suddenly I had a chain route and all were running for safety across the bridge . No chance to rally them again, all were slaughtered instantly.</b>

I was doing a defensive bridge battle through positioning most of my troops on either side of the bridge. This would "funnel" the enemy troops forward and get them to attack one or the other side. When they routed, they would try to run backwards, right into the phalanxes and soldiers on guard mode on the other side.

What I had decided to do was use a full strength Iberian milites unit on the left to go forward and attack this clustered ball of some 12 units stuck on my side of the bridge. When that Iberian milites "touched" that big black mass of enemy, it instantly routed. Its morale must have been too low to encounter the "shock" of being in combat with a couple hundred soldiers at once.

Usually I got routs on bridge battles by hitting a single unit hard enough that it loses most of its people, thus making it prone to routing easily when surrounded by so many enemies.

But the recent moment I had was when I fought a Ptolemy army with 4 FMs. One of them was the faction heir and all of them had around 40 members in their 18 armored cavalry unit. I attacked them with 2 fullstacks, the one I controlled having a scorpione. I wanted to get some pot shots in on the enemy general since the AI is on the defensive, so I put my scorpione on a hill and fire at one of the four generals. First volley hits and kills the general. I was amazed and very high spirited. The AI army, being what it was, got into a fight with the leading elements of the Ptolemy army. My FM general came to assist, lined up for a charge, and when he was just about to hit the Galatian heavy swordsmen in the back, my general died. After hitting the enemy FMs with my scorpione, I had retargeted to the Galatian in order to make it rout faster. That scorpione killed two generals in one volley.

About the use of FM cavalry in towns, large towns, and cities, it is just too easy to get cut off by spearmen and then mauled. In the city square, though, cavalry is very good at smashing the last resistance. Also with some judicius tactical maneuvering, you can setup a cavalry unit behind an enemy mass that you have pinned down. Usually the enemy flows from the city square to attack your infantry. If you can get a breacn in the wall somewhere else, the nflow your cavalry in and use speed to use the alternate streets, you can get behind an enemy and then rout them and slaughter them. Preventing them from retreating back to the city square.

When I was sieging barbarian towns as Romani in EB 1.0, I tried to do everything I could to avoid a last stand situation with me having to kill everybody in the city square.

[Skandaz.Imperator]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*screams*

Why?! WHY?!

Your AAR really rocked, man! It's a shame about it, though. Stuff like that happens, I think.
I got some 64 pictures though until winter 252BC, so after the mourning is over, I might pull myself together and finish it anyway, although alittle abrupt.

[konny]

I was doing a defensive bridge battle through positioning most of my troops on either side of the bridge. This would "funnel" the enemy troops forward and get them to attack one or the other side. When they routed, they would try to run backwards, right into the phalanxes and soldiers on guard mode on the other side.

I have the impression that soldiers often run to the wrong side of the bridge when routed. I would consider it a bug if it happens always. But it doesn't, sometimes they are running back to "their" side. May be it is because they are running to the closest exit?



When I was sieging barbarian towns as Romani in EB 1.0, I tried to do everything I could to avoid a last stand situation with me having to kill everybody in the city square.

That is a situation when cavalry can be very usefull in an assault. Their high mass can push the last defenders from the square and allow you to win the battle without those strange events, like 500 Hoplites are not able to kill the last archer.

[Juvenal]

This is my most recent defeat, so the embarrassment is still fresh in my mind.

My Casse empire was busy in Iberia when the Sweboz laid siege to my field army in Bagacos (in modern Belgium).

My first mistake was in leaving the army in a settlement. My method for border defense is to have small garrisons and a small field army with a family member. If bad guys turn up, the field army can be strengthened at the last moment with levy from nearby towns plus mercenaries.

Stuck in Bagacos, my army was too small to sally, and before I could build a relief force (no family members outside, so no mercenaries) the Sweboz assaulted.

Outnumbered 3:1 with poor troops (short-sword levy and spear levy) I set up my men around the central plaza and prepared for exinction.

My family member popped out of a side gate to menace the Sweboz rear (you really don't want to leave chariots in settlements, it's just too painful to watch). He did quite well, running down the Sweboz archers and getting a couple of spear units to chase him round the fields.

Then he got the attention of the enemy captain (light cavalry). I thought chariots should be able to deal with cavalry, but I reckoned without the charge bonus - all my chariots died on impact, trying to skirmish away.

After this heroic, but pointless, sacrifice I was amazed to find that the entire Sweboz force chose the same street and my levy troops were able to hold them off until the time limit.

So, having thrown away the life of my family member and gained an heroic victory, I was left with a tiny garrison which promptly went down under another Sweboz stack 3 turns later (by which time my relief force had only just marched out of Bratosporios).:wall:

[Ymarsakar]

I have the impression that soldiers often run to the wrong side of the bridge when routed. I would consider it a bug if it happens always. But it doesn't, sometimes they are running back to "their" side. May be it is because they are running to the closest exit?

If you mean "wrong side of the bridge" in that the enemy soldiers try to run past your soldiers to the nearest exit, instead of heading back towards the bridge, it depends on where the enemy unit was facing when it routed. If you don't use guard formation, it is kind of hard to tell and may indeed just be random chance where the enemy unit goes. If you use guard formation and the enemy is fighting you, all of the time, that I have seen, when the enemy routs they go exactly 180 degrees to their backs and run. Also, the enemy tends to slip through your ranks if you don't use guard.

If my bridge defensive formation isn't uniform, then the enemy can rout many different ways where there is a gap from what I've seen.





That is a situation when cavalry can be very usefull in an assault. Their high mass can push the last defenders from the square and allow you to win the battle without those strange events, like 500 Hoplites are not able to kill the last archer.


The pushing power of any cavalry with enough defense/armor to stay alive against phalanxes are often able to break the formation of a single phalanx unit, if it is not supported by levies or other phalanx units occupying the same space. One time I was fighting a 1k vs 2k battle and I had decided to corner camp. The enemy's 3 units of FM hetairio broke through my mistophoroi phalangitai eventually. Most of them died, yeah, but it opened up the formation for their galatian mercenaries to pour through.

But I never had any cavalry heavy enough to use in a protracted melee. What I would do against phalanxes in a town square, which is probably the worst danger all in all, is to have levies or heavy infantry surround the phalanx, get one in front and one in the back. The one in the front stays on guard and gets a special custom formation through me, so that the enemy phalanx can't just stick the sarissa straight through the unit and then swirl it around. They have to slowly inch forward and push, while my flankers start carving up the enemy phalanx unit. Once I had nothing but haploi greek levies up against Klerouchi and Pezhetairio in the town square. I was able to kill the last pikemen at that red 3:00 minute mark through such tactics. Didn't have any cavalry so I couldn't set it up so that the cavalry would charge down on the phalanx rear over and over again. This was in a huge city, so I had plenty of space.

I find that without the use of guard mode, my units tend to spread out and break formation too much for fine precision control. Course that also means more micromanagement if they get hit in the rear or sides and you're not paying attention.

[Moosemanmoo]

I didn't understand who the Boii were, I still dont

[Andronikos]

Once I had a close defeat when time limit finished. I had 900 men, enemy 100 (one of their units decided to stop rooting) and I had no nearby unit to attack them. Since that I play without time limit.

[glouch]

hm.

as the makedonians lost two whole fleets, each with 5 pente-sumthings(the most expensive ships,), and two full stacks containing two of my most brilliant FMs(one was just 19, already a superior commander and tactician, heroic defender and insanely brave because of around 5-7 battles[with an average of 9/10 of my faction's stack vs. the enemies' 2 stacks] on the slopes of a mountain between ipsos and akyra PER END TURN for five turns against the ptolemaioi, pontos and the seleukidai[btw they're allied against me together with the getai], while the other was 27, a legendary leader, superior administrator, insanely brave, and a heroic defender, because of constant war for 9 years against around an average of 1.5 stacks per battle[throughout those seven years his units were replenished only once every year or less often than that], isolated from any makedonian army for miles up in the mountains near sidon.) to a storm after i gathered them on rhodes to send the older one to pontic trapezous and the younger one to ptolemaic alexandria.

i got so pissed off i stopped playing EB for about a month.

[Kromulan]

Best one is strategic . . . in my Saba campaign I got bored fighting Ptolie phalanxes, so I attacked AS. . .~:wacko:

This despite the fact I've been reading these forums for couple months and seeing everyone talking about AS spamming phalanx stacks; despite the fact they're pretty much twins (all Alexander wannabes).

All this, and I attacked them anyway:wall:

I'm a real deep thinker . . .

[Raphia]

Best one is strategic . . . in my Saba campaign I got bored fighting Ptolie phalanxes, so I attacked AS. . .~:wacko:

This despite the fact I've been reading these forums for couple months and seeing everyone talking about AS spamming phalanx stacks; despite the fact they're pretty much twins (all Alexander wannabes).

All this, and I attacked them anyway:wall:

I'm a real deep thinker . . .
You attacked the yellow and Grey death?

[MiniMe]

I'm a real deep thinker . . .
Me thinks this was very brave decision actually.
And very clever if you think of it this way - AS were going to attack you anyway. Your strike was kind of... pre-emptive :yes: :yes: :yes:

[Rodion Romanovich]

In EB 0.7, I lost my best Baktrian general in a ridiculous little mini battle when mopping up some remaining AS mini-armies somewhere between Persepolis and Seleukeia. I charged the FM into the rear of an enemy phalanx, but somehow he got caught in it and died...

In my Casse campaign, one of my FMs moved too close to an enemy phalanx, and when one chariot on the very edge of the formation barely touched the phalanx unit, the entire unit just got sucked in and charged the phalanx heads-on. I kept clicking move in the other direction, but the stupid unit just charged. So not completely my own fault, but since then I've learnt not to move chariots even close to enemy phalanxes. Oh, and I lost another 3 Casse FMs when they moved through a forest and got stuck out of path finding issues, then got hunted down and killed by enemy infantry. What was even worse was that in all those battles, I had pretty much won the battle by the time it happened... Lesson learnt: never move Casse FMs near anyenemy phalanxes or through forests unless the battle has already been won.

In my Pahlav campaign, my most stupid move so far must be when I besieged Karkathiokherta with my western army. The besieged enemy sallied and it got a lot more bloody than I had expected. After the battle, the army got tied up in garrisoning the city, leaving Babylon, Seleukeia and the rest of my western border completely unguarded. As if it wasn't enough that the bloody siege hadn't cost me so many troops already. The situation was resolved in the end as more garrison troops arrived, and some reinforcements, after relieving AS sieges on both Seleukeia and Karkathiokherta. Worst thing was that I knew it would happen already before, but I just couldn't resist pushing my border just a little further west at that time just for kicks.

[Chris1959]

After kicking Macedon out of Greece and pushing on to Asia Minor I was shipping back two veteran legions all siver and triple bronze chevrons plus two FM to Rome. I had fleets protecting my flanks against AS and Mak fleets but moved straight out of Gulf of Corinth slap into a pirate fleet I had completely disregarded and lost the lot.
The only honour in this dabacle was I didn't re-load, but accepted it as one of those things and set about raising new legions.

[pezhetairoi]

@Rodion

I think the lesson to be learnt here is, never use FMs in the field. Better by far to just get some retrainable Gallic chariots and use those. Casse FMs are quite hopeless in battle for conventional players who know the meaning of cavalry is the charge.

[Rodion Romanovich]

Nah, retrainable chariots are too much of a fuss, and besides they cost much more to retrain than auto-retrained FMs. Besides, I like the suspense, and they're not much of a problem once I figured out their weaknesses. They are excellent highly mobile javelineers which are very useful vs enemy infantry without any missile arms.

[Beefy187]

Both on 0.81a

Full stack of my mighty Baktrian army freshly trained. It took about 8 years to rally the elite Phalanx, Indian long bows and Kataphracts in the same place. Loaded them on the ship to conquer the rich land of arabia..... Met a pirate ship and caboom.. They had no mercy :wall:

Pontus campeign. I conquered a steppe village in the far east. Some how rebelled to full stack of HA all triple gold chevrons. :wall: So I said ok and bribed the whole village. Then I was going to use the beutiful HA army to raid the AS. I sent my main army south and raiders around the other side of the mountain. THe raiders met the full stack of AS army which didnt let me retreat. (My HA had half the stack) Won the battle but lost over half the army. My main didnt meet any resistance:sweatdrop:

2nd one isnt really embrassing... Its just a shame that I lost half of my pretty HAs

[I of the Storm]

More of a very annoying pathfinding glitch than my own stupidity.
I had just won the 37th (or so) bridge battle near Lepki against the Ptolemaioi (me Romans). Just won means all enemies routing. I ordered my general to pursue some soldiers who were retreating along the shore of the river. Shortly after I received the "heroic death" message. :furious3:

Due to the stupid pathfinding routine some of his unit including himself went too far out in the stream and drowned.
After I stopped screaming I thought, oh well, shit happens and try to roleplay it (horse tripped, fell in water, heavy armour, blubb) and recruited a new african general...

[Cyclops]

I'd say my turn 6 loss as Casse was pretty shameful. The Balroae stack came to Camulodunum and besieged, my 3 FM's plus a spearman or two came out to play, and somehow the FM's kept getting too close to the skirmisher's javelins. I was actually thinking how cool it was going to be when I conquered Ireland, and one by one the heroic death boxes came drifting down the left hand side of the screen. Dynasty over.

In the same vein of hubris I took a very tough stack of KH hoplites FM and peltasts and ran into the Romani for the first time in 1.0, up near Venice. I would've had the edge in experience and numbers (3:2) but cav superiority i did not have and they trounced me.

I've had a few FM's shot in the back by friendly fire, or running themselves into a nearby phalanx when holding an unfeasibly wide formation and then trying to wheel around a flank.

[Intranetusa]

Crushing Defeat via Autobattle:

I had half stack of elite gastarnae naked infantry, and at least 3 other half stacks of decent infantry (over 2500 troops) VS half stack of levy pikemen led by a 5 star AI general (about 700 troops)


Result, 2000+ losses and less than 200 killed.

[MarcusAureliusAntoninus]

My EB moment of stupidity:
I charged my faction leader into a unit of scythed chariots. I managed to get them to break, but the killed my faction leader as the roited.

[Hax]

I know exactly what you mean, MAA.

I had a unit of Seleukid Scythed Chariots, and charged them into the flanks of a unit of Somatophylakes Strategou.

At least, that was the plan. Somehow, they stopped right in front of them, and got pelted by javelins: Instant rout.

Oh well, at least they did manage to kill the Ptolemaioi Pharaoh as they routed

[marodeur]

Yes, that's it. In street fights there isn't enough room to manouver around, in particular getting cavalry in a good position for a charge. Even more problematic can be to get cavalry out of the fight when it had run into trouble, or to get infantry support close: a unit of Pantodapoi can block your entire infantry for some time, while Hoplites cut down your horsemen that tried to flank the enemy. And don't forget we are talking about FMs.

I do quite often use cavalry in cities. Especially when a unit of phalangitai blocks a road, it can be quite helpful to have a cavalry unit inside town, moving along unblocked roads in the back of the enemy and crushing him. I have to admit that I use "pause" quite often in such a situation to make sure nothing serious happens to my cavalry...

My personal desaster-report (long ago, vanilla): I (as the romans) was using heavy catapults in an open-field-battle against the greeks. Their fireballs proved quite effective to break the spartiate phalanxes. But then, a litte miscalculation happend: one fireball wasn't very well aimed. Instead of hitting the enemy troops (about 300 meters away) it hit the ground probably 20 meters before the catapult. Saddly, it was just the place where my faction leader and - till then - unbeaten general stood... :oops: . Do I have to mention that my army routed? Of course I dissolved the catapult unit immediately after the battle. The surviving crew has most likely been fed to the lions in the colosseum... :furious3:

[Rodion Romanovich]

Nice, I also tend to use cavs in cities a lot. One common way of assaulting is to make 3 breeches, then use missiles to kill all enemies blocking one of them (not the central one, but one of the two to the sides), then rush inside heavy infantry - preferably a phalanx unit if there's enough time to deploy it in formation. After that, the enemies tend to rush towards that infantry unit, which opens an opportunity to send in cavs through the middle or other side breech, to attack the pinned enemy in their rear. But sometimes I have to be careful with timing because the enemy keeps unpinned reserves to charge my cavalry to the rear, so sometimes I just charge in the cavalry like this when I know the pinned enemy will soon break, and my cavalry can move through gaps in the infantry and out again through the side breech, before new enemies arrive, and again charge into my heavy infantry... And the process is repeated...

Speaking of which, I've had a few battles where my cavs entered the city with bad timing and ended up surrounded by the pinned enemy they were supposed to rout, and the enemy reserves... A few survivors desperately went through the pinned enemy unit and escaped outside, but the heavy cavalry losses made the rest of the battle difficult, or in some cases, turned it into a defeat.

[Subedei]

This happened 1-2 times to me : Battle is pretty much won, General takes care of some fleeing units, oh...and some archer units do the same...one of the archers may still have a open bill with the general and KILLS him [by accident].....

[Vorian]

Hm..I tried to do one of those popular migration and take KH to the black sea. I was stopped by a massive Eleutheroi fleet that defeated me and sank almost all my ships. Tried to find another way, and a Macedonian fleet attacks me, sinking even more. Having one ship left, I try to make it back to greece and yet another fleet engages me and finally destroys me, losing all family members...

[Skandaz.Imperator]

My EB moment of stupidity:
I charged my faction leader into a unit of scythed chariots. I managed to get them to break, but the killed my faction leader as the roited.

Haha, I still remember that, what were you thinking? :beam: It's almost as stupid as one of my vanilla mistakes as the Scipio when I decided to kill a routing unit of elephants one or two turns into the campaign with my faction leader. Note to self: elephants weighs alot if dying over you!

[Hooahguy]

Haha, I still remember that, what were you thinking? :beam: It's almost as stupid as one of my vanilla mistakes as the Scipio when I decided to kill a routing unit of elephants one or two turns into the campaign with my faction leader. Note to self: elephants weighs alot if dying over you!

this person had a similar situation:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=2piTzCHxK4k

[Pode]

As Romans, defending Mediolanum with local Celts vs a massive stack of heavy Sweboz units. Torched the ram, spent all my missiles, replaced the archers on the walls with neitos heavy infantry, and barely managed to hold the walls against ladders and siege towers, eliminating thousands of the enemy. The time limit is off, I have almost nothing left, and there are a hundred Sweboz bodyguard infantry standing outside. I took a half unit of levy infantry, baited the bodyguards into tower range and then ran back into town, whereupon they drew back out of tower range. Rinse and repeat is really my only tactical option (single digits of men left in other units). Finally, the enemy breaks the cycle and heads to a siege tower with his last ten guys. 9 die to tower fire, and my levy is chasing the last one down. I've got enough at the top of the tower to take one guy, so I'm congratulating myself on a hardfought victory when my levy unit catches him. Inside the siege tower. Instant CTD as the game tries to figure out what animation to play.:furious3:

[marodeur]

Reminds me. Defended a city. Fought valiantly in the streets (Arverni / Aedui). They (the Aedui) had lots of Gasatae, I only had some lugoae, slungers and light riders. But wonderous things happen: something made them rout after my boys killed their general. Plastered a whole road with dead gasatae. I followed the fleeing masses and killed about 900!!! Gasatae - and lost. A fricking unit of belgae (10-20 survivors) had slipped by and reached the central place. Game was over before any of my units could reach the central place... :shame:

[Visitor13]

I placed a siege tower on top of a sap point :embarassed:

[Hooahguy]

^^^ ouch.......
how many died?

[Visitor13]

200 or so - luckily it was just a Camillan Leves unit.

[Jaywalker-Jack]

One mishap that realy disgusted me was when as KH I sent my faction heir to take an enemy wall using ladders. Because the character stands at the edge of the unit with the captain, it wasnt long before he fell to his death. Lesson learned!

[General Appo]

AS, defending a fort out in the desert against lots of Sabaen´s.
I had almost only phalanx units, and so puts them around the gate to trap the enemy in a deathzone and kill them all with near to nill casualties.
The enemy breaks through the gate, and in 5 seconds they´re through my middle phalanx and heading for the town square. Surrounded my phalanxes quickly fall prey to the enemies axes and spears, and soon enough my entire army has been destroyed. My entire invasion of Arabia depended on that army, without it I was lost, and it would be many years before I could launch another attack against Saba.

[marodeur]

some other never - to - be - forgotten - tread ...

[kekailoa]

I was fighting a bridge battle defensively with Indian troops, like three units of the Guild Warriors and four spearmen and a single unit of longbowmen, but all the enemy had were hordes of those native hellenic spearmen. I was holding my own, doing well, but wondered by there were all these casualties from my troops when all the bodies were the enemy. Then I noticed the bodies floating down stream. About half of my Soldiers were underneath the bridge, drowning themselves. Literally over half my force died that way.

I was pissed.

[A Terribly Harmful Name]

I had a crushing defeat defending a town in a Custom Battle vs. an army of Milnaht. My Imperial legionaries were too weak.

Oh and the worst was when I tried to take Bratosporios with a huge Arverni army. Sent my men with ladders to fight - again - Milnaht on the walls, with chevrons. It ended up hogging a lot of my troops, and when I managed to enter the town I was severely weakened. Then they attacked me with their Taramonnos and Chariots inside, killing my general. The few units I had remaining were stuck on the walls; it was an instant Crushing Defeat. None of my army ever came back, including a silver-chevroned, Gallic Civil War veteran Bataroas that was annihilated.

[tapanojum]

I've only ever lost one of the KH ones and that was a triple speed melee against the Getaic hordes that too like 2 minutes to resolve itself. I've had another flee from battle THROUGH a Getaic horde too:sweatdrop: .

Also, the Hai and Parthian generals stand well in battle due to their silly armor.

I lose mine all the time in bizarre stations.

Such as KH general charging an engaged unit in the rear.

Or even once, having my KH general and about 9 other units, surround and charge the last Celtic spearmen in the town square..only to have my General die in the fray.

:thumbsdown:

[DaCrAzYmOfO]

Sending almost 3 stacks to take mediolanum against the aeudui as arverni....I got my butt handed to me each time.

Its ridiculous...on one of them I was sure I was going to win, but a hidden army comes out and the enemy fights me on the field instead of on the walls....what happens you say? Well the small army is destroyed completely, but the fools defending the city manage to hide in the forests.

I forget how many troops the enemy actually has and I underestimate them, call the charge into the woods with my infantry and general, and soon enough my general is slaughtered. Last thing i remember was seeing my infantry get sorrounded.....but not outnumbered....and then every single one of them begins to rout slowly....all going the opposite direction and into the enemy....the majority of my force was slaughtered and I was not pleased.

I was amazed at the ingenuity of the AI...they were stubborn and used my own greed to defend their nasty little city..... grr lol

Needless to say I sent another full stack afterwards to finish them off.....but I still lost over half the men.....Now I have an angry roma sieging mediolanum and massalia :(

[Cute Wolf]

Just happned this morning:
A veteran army lead by 5 star veteran FM, accompanied by 4 local gallic cavalry, 2 Antesignani, 3 local Slingers, and 6 cohortes reformatae was beaten by Sweboz forces full of crappy warriors.... lead by 72 years old (but 8 starred) grandpa...

When my forces arrive in (what region I forgot)... near denmark... they are attacked by sewboz army consists of some archers, spearmen, and another crappy infantry... (they have no cavalry). The battle odds is 1.5 : 1, so if I was aultocalc that... it would be sure victory, but I was manage to get a shameful defeat unintentionally... it was happned on a plain snowfield with just a little forest...

At first I formed a central line of my Cohortes reformata, flanked in the right side by antesignani (nearby a small forest) and the left side by slingers... I put all the cavalry on the far left side to use the wide plain in my advantage... but it proved a disaster...

at first I ordered the slingers to move forward... bombarding them with stones... it was quite sucessful, until their battle line mindlessly run forward to chase my slingers... as planned, they run straight into prepared and disciplined line full of swords....and I still think the ai is stupid up to this point...

Seeking a quicker victory, I decide to dash my Gallic cavalry on their exsposed flanks, but the Sweboz's bodyguards proved extremely tough for me... they turned their face incredibly quickly and routs 2 of my cavalry before they had any chance to regroup and repeat their charge... thinking them just cheap cavalrymen, I decide to put them in the fight with one cohort, and I charge their back with my FM.... and as usual I order them to run back and prepare another charge... but

Obviously, The Sweboz's bodyguards trapped my Generals inside, although all of his bodyguards had escape sucessfully without any loss... He fight bravely for for escaping maybe... but I didn't notice that before that disastrous movement... I want to rally my routing gallic cavalry

As my FM bodyguards run to my damn, routing units, I press the trumpet...






And My general was killed while he try to blow the trumpet (I know this from the cutscene, he stops and get screwed by a spear...)..... SILLY.......:wall:




After that my troops routs one by one.... and I suffer a crushing defeat...:wall:

[Olaf Blackeyes]

is there _any_ general that can stand in a melee?

KH and Sweboz FM's FOR DAMN SURE CAN!!!!

As for humiliating defeat i was teh Sweboz. I had a full stack army outside of Gawjam-Silengoz ready to go and take on the Super-indies. i didnt expctto win so i was busily preparing some other troops as well. However after i lost something IDK WTF it was but something happened. The Super-indie general that just whooped me went berserk and invaded Swebozlandam, carved my Kingdom in half. I quit that campain in shame:sweatdrop::shame::sweatdrop:

[Aurgelmir]

lol...playing sweboz,had an important battle against the romans....in the dark forests.You can imagine what happend.....can fight in forests....lol that bunus doesn't work for me...cant see shit in there.

Only when i zoomed in,i could see whats happening,but i was not able to manage my army with the eagle view.So i got eaten by the lion,and lost my only stack

Since then,i avoid fighting in the thick forests.

[Tiberius Claudius Marcellus]

Beat this: I lost a defensive bridge-battle with a full stack of expensive mercs inclduing one phalanx, let by an experinced FM. I still don't know what exactly had happened, but suddenly I had a chain route and all were running for safety across the bridge :wall:. No chance to rally them again, all were slaughtered instantly. The last thing I did was to charge the general into the next enemy phalanx, because that was something he could have hardly explained to the king.

You win. That is by far the most frustrating thing I could ever think of happening. I can picture it happening and you just sitting there in dumb anguish with your mouth partly open staring at the screen. I hope you reverted to a saved game afterward :beam:

[Subotan]

On Vanilla, I was playing as the Greek cities, and I'd led an expedition into Megale Hellas. Southern Italy had fallen, and Capua was the last city before Rome itself. My general was the Hellenic Hannibal, and the Romans were in the process of some serious pant-shatting. However, whilst besieging Capua, which had a full stack, a small relief force, led by the faction heir of the Scipii attacked me. I decided to fight, and lined up my hyper-army (It looked/felt like that)
My four Cretans bombarded the relief force, as the garrison moved out towards us, and my Hannibal led the charge. Incredibly, upon hitting the legionaries, Hannibal was knocked off his horse and sent flying, before being impaled on a pilum. I was quite rightly "WTF"ing, but I continued with the battle. I selected my full army of hoplites, and with a click, sent them marching at the garrison in phalanx mode. Meanwhile, I fuss about my archers, as a unit of Velites is harassing them. As the Velites are chased off, I turn back to my Phalanx.
Disaster.
It turns out that with that one click, all 15 units of hoplites converged into one column to attack the enemy. The Romans easily surrounded and butchered them. My Hannibal had fallen victim to a Cannae. I can't reform them, as there is no room, and all I can do is watch as my Phalanx gets hacked to death from all sides by Barbaroi. One units decides to make a run for it, and within seconds, every Greek is running for his life.
None of them made it.
A small bonus is that the leader of the Scipii charged at the Cretans with his much depleted bodyguard, only to be shot down by the best archers Greece had to offer, leaving the most influential members of the Scipii dead on the field. But that didn't compensate he loss of the flower of the Greek Army.
As a result, Hellas was in deep shock, and our liberations of Southern Megale Hellas only stayed free by the skin of their teeth. Our conquests in the region were paralysed, and there was no way we could attempt that path for at least a century. We had to march around Illyria, and come via the North, but that took many years, due to Gallic Roma beyond the Alps constantly sending Legions at us while we prepared to attack True Roma (We'd cut them off from each other), and with our expansion into Asia also slowing us down. We did achieve though in the end, and the Romans were cast out from Megale Hellas for ever.

[Olaf Blackeyes]

Man half of these WTF moments look like unit UI problems, (Units balling up, routing INTO enemy forces, ect...) gotta love it.:wall::wall:

[Ibrahim]

I mostly side with TWfanatic with 20 watt moments: It has yet to happen to me per se-AI is insufficiently clever (BI is a whole other story-apparently my BI CD is possessed by the devil)