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AgentBif
10-05-2002, 01:48
After a rather massive, bloody, traumatizing battle with those scurvy French (Which was only tipped in my favor by the arrival of a _single_ reenforcement of understrength militia sergeants!), I managed to take their main fortress and slew their king.

That damn King had all his fellow guard shot out from around him by my 5 squads of missile units, but by that time, the archers were beset by french light cavalry and chased en-mas off the field. All alone then, the King then chased off one of my routing holibars... They ran all the way to the west side of the map before realizing it was only one man behind them! So I wheeled them around and surrounded the silly Frenchman... only to gape in horror as he slaughtered half of them and ran them the rest of the way out of the battle. Heh.

Anyway, that battle degenerated into such carnage and chaos that both sides had many units which broke and rallied several times. My general, a squad of Feudal Men at Arms was routed and rallied 3 or 4 times before he was finally chased off about 2/3 through the battle.

In the end, that single reenforcement squad and another half-strength foot unit hunkered down in a wooded corner of the map and proceeded to administer retribution on the remnants of the foolish French who dared to try to finish their grisly work! Even the stupid King finally went down after diving headlong into those footmen in the woods.

Only 50 some muddied, ragged blue-shirts managed to flee the field after the fall of their wacky king.

Anyway, in triumph tembered by the trauma of such bloody carnage, I reviewed the troops. The general... omg, when I saw the general I laughed hard for a long time:

He had gained 3 valor and picked up the following two traits:

Brave Beyond Belief -
Fear is unknown to this man:
+3 valor, +3 morale

Doubtful Courage -
Reports of him screaming like a girl as he departed the field are not too exaggerated:
-6 morale.

And the funniest thing, his name was Sir Robin!

bif

Dionysus9
10-05-2002, 02:31
No way, thats too cool.

Brave brave sir Robin, he bravely ran away...

lol

great story.

candidgamera
10-05-2002, 02:52
"Now go away or we shall taunt you a second time" (only in English accent).

Inferno
10-05-2002, 03:26
I think that quote is to be said in a French accent...

"Brave Sir Robin ran away
Boldly ran away, away!
When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Brave brave brave brave Sir Robin"

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It's getting warm in here...that must be one hell of an INFERNO!

Paladin
10-05-2002, 17:54
Ah, yes, the classic:

Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O Brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged,
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off,
And his penis...

Brave Sir Robin ran away...

Bravely ran away away...

When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled...

Yes Brave Sir Robin turned about...

And gallantly he chickened out Bravely taking to his feet...

He beat a very brave retreat...

Bravest of the brave Sir Robin...

Packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering off
And chickening out and pissing off home
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge...

insolent1
10-05-2002, 20:01
In my latest campaign as the Polish, the Almohads had taken the british isles & where in the process of converting it to muslim. When I seen this I decided to postpone my purging of the orthodox religion in Russia & sent a horde of bishops & cardinals to Britain. Well 5-10 years later the British Isles started having religious revolts in all provinces except Northumbria. Instead bandits appeared in Northumbria lead by guess who?

Robin of Locksley

I tried to bribe him but he was killed in a battle with the almohads.

candidgamera
10-05-2002, 23:46
Quote Originally posted by Inferno:
I think that quote is to be said in a French accent...
[/QUOTE]

In the film yes, but not in AgentBif's campaign it would seem http://www.totalwar.org/ubb/smile.gif .