View Full Version : Uwe Boll: The Failure Strikes Back
Mikeus Caesar
02-15-2008, 09:42
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the cinema...
http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/14/far-cry-movie-trailer-is-predictably-terrible
Congratulations, Mr. Boll, you've destroyed another game.
What happened to the beautiful lush jungle setting?
What happened to all the trigens?
What happened to the infinitely annoying but infinitely cool volcano base?
What happened to the evil corporation, and the mercenaries, and everything that made Far Cry what it was!!!?
All i see is mindless car chases and badly written dialogue!
:wall:
Kekvit Irae
02-15-2008, 10:09
I think I threw up a little.
What do you expect from a movie based on a game?
LeftEyeNine
02-15-2008, 13:05
What do you expect from a movie based on a game?
This (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0803096/).
Nooo! Udo Kier (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001424/) is in this movie (the actor who played Yuri in Red Alert 2). I don't want him accociated with this pending disaster; he's too cool for that! :thumbsdown:
Tratorix
02-15-2008, 20:58
Til Scheweiger is : Jack Carver
:laugh4: :laugh4: Someone should tell Uwe Boll that line only works with an actor people have actually heard of. :sweatdrop:
Til Scheweiger is : Jack Carver
:laugh4: :laugh4: Someone should tell Uwe Boll that line only works with an actor people have actually heard of. :sweatdrop:
Ehhhh, Til Schweiger is a rather popular german actor and he has played a lot of good and bad guys in various Hollywood productions, I wouldn't exactly call him unknown...
Well, imdb has this (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001709/). Could've sworn I saw him in a few more Hollywood movies, but seems like I was a bit wrong.
Abokasee
02-16-2008, 11:55
Nooo! Udo Kier (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001424/) is in this movie (the actor who played Yuri in Red Alert 2). I don't want him accociated with this pending disaster; he's too cool for that! :thumbsdown:
Oh god my god his choices were very tough: EA's RA3 (The soviet union has gone back in time so Yuri might still live) or this, piece of, Oh god words cannot express my digust and scorn in the best quality!
Luckily there is still time...
Veho Nex
02-16-2008, 17:31
Second, the throw up. It looks as bad as whiplash(can't remember year just know that the actors didnt do anything all they had was them stand there and little stupid bullets wiz by...) was
Oh god my god his choices were very tough: EA's RA3 (The soviet union has gone back in time so Yuri might still live) or this, piece of, Oh god words cannot express my digust and scorn in the best quality!
Luckily there is still time...
RA is intentionally cheesy, most videogames are, I only saw Resident Evil but it captured the b-movie spirit of the game gloriously by being absolutily terrible. Had a good time and forgot all of it the minute it was over. A movie based on a game, pfffffffft, games based on movies are bad enough.
Cronos Impera
02-18-2008, 16:54
It depends on the game. If you had Fool's Errand (low budget) or Myth (good budget) you could make great movies. I mean who could ever forget the devilish puzzles of Fool's Errand or the grenadier dwarves of Myth (those could beat the crap out of Gimli at supper). Bad game, bad movie. It's just like bad book, bad movie (you can't make Star Wars a book for Tosa's sake). What came first, the cookoo or the egg?
This looks awesome. I cannot see why you guys say that.
I still think that the best video game movie ever was DOOM. I LOVE that movie.
Reverend Joe
02-18-2008, 22:23
Die Hard meets Plan 9 From Outer Space! :sweatdrop:
Kekvit Irae
02-19-2008, 00:33
This looks awesome. I cannot see why you guys say that.
I still think that the best video game movie ever was DOOM. I LOVE that movie.
Please tell me you're just kidding.
DOOM = Deimos and Phobos, Demons from Hell, and BFG9000 stands for Big %*$@ing Gun.
DOOM: The Movie = No Martian moonbases, no demons, and BFG stands for Bio Force Gun.
:wall:
Please tell me you're just kidding.
DOOM = Deimos and Phobos, Demons from Hell, and BFG9000 stands for Big %*$@ing Gun.
DOOM: The Movie = No Martian moonbases, no demons, and BFG stands for Bio Force Gun.
:wall:
lol, I am not kidding about DOOM, though what I said about Far Cry was just to ruffle feathers. ~;)
When you make a movie about DOOM, you HAVE to add SOME kind of story line and depth. I think they did a really good job taking it from mindless popping and turning it into heart-pounding, exciting, story-driven, mindless
popping. lol
About the BFG, it would hardly be appropriate for the movie (which had to be slightly more serious than the game, esp since it was meant to hit a larger audience) to have the name the scientist gave their new weapon "Big Fricking Gun". In DOOM 3 the BFG is called the Bio Force Gun, but nicknamed "Big YouknowWhat Gun". Likewise in the movie when Sarge sees it, he says "That is a Big Frickin Gun".
DOOM movie was a classic. What makes the sensless shooting of the game enjoyable is the choices that you can make and that your skill decides how it turns out. It is impossible to do that for a movie! I think DOOM movie was a STELLAR port, and I say "Bah Humbug" to anyone who says otherwise. ~;)
Vuk
Vladimir
02-19-2008, 23:41
I just saw Commando. I can't wait for this to be released now.
Soulforged
02-20-2008, 00:23
I thought our friend Uwe Boll retired the business of movies... Perhaps that was just wishful thinking.
The trailer was hilarious, especially the part on the boat at night you can hear the comic sound of a bomb dropping... Who the hell edits the sound anyway?
...........................................................................................
I'm sorry I couldn't stop laughing, what a terrible trailer, I won't be able to sleep at night now...
Uwe Boll has to be one of the most headstrong persons I've ever heard of, after succesful failures once and over again he returns with the same idea, it doesn't matter how little he gets in profits or how much his movies are smashed by the critics.
He really is the teutonic Ed Wood. Except that Ed Wood never had budgets like this to work with. A well-funded German Ed Wood, then.
I think I died a little inside. :fainting:
Ianofsmeg16
02-20-2008, 18:49
Now having never actually played far cry, i may have a little less of an important opinion....but...
It looks like a good action movie, not you're sensative-namby pamby modern-day heroes we seem to get (Tom Cruise?)..who couldn't lift one of Schwarzeneggar's guns let alone shoot it, but a hark back to the days when Arnie ruled the screen with his muscles and explosions....
although maybe people should stick to making original action movies if it gets game fans upset..?
Vladimir
02-20-2008, 19:15
Now having never actually played far cry, i may have a little less of an important opinion....but...
It looks like a good action movie, not you're sensative-namby pamby modern-day heroes we seem to get (Tom Cruise?)..who couldn't lift one of Schwarzeneggar's guns let alone shoot it, but a hark back to the days when Arnie ruled the screen with his muscles and explosions....
although maybe people should stick to making original action movies if it gets game fans upset..?
I just saw Commando. I can't wait for this to be released now.
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=1837957&postcount=804
Ja, es goot.
https://forums.totalwar.org/vb/showpost.php?p=1837957&postcount=804
Ja, es goot.
He is not Dutch (which I asume that is). Er ist ein Deutscher!
"Ja, es ist gut!"
Kekvit Irae
02-21-2008, 03:33
Be careful what you say around Uwe. He's liable to kick your butt (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqbVb-W7GqI). Granted, he only picks fights with people he knows he can win, but still...
Spartan198
02-25-2008, 13:18
Gods,nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well,at least they're not putting the names "Uwe Bolle" and "Metal Gear Solid" together yet.
Kekvit Irae
02-25-2008, 13:34
Well,at least they're not putting the names "Uwe Bolle" and "Metal Gear Solid" together yet.
Keyword: Yet.
Mikeus Caesar
02-25-2008, 16:37
iirc, whassisname who created the Metal Gear series reacted quite negatively to the suggestion that maybe Boll could make the film adaptations.
lol, you guys are amazingly funny. :P
Artorius Maximus
03-05-2008, 05:10
O.o
What a campy trailor, especially the sound effects used for the bomb in the boat scene! They ruined what could have been a good Far Cry movie!
Sorry for thread necromancy but there is now a petition some might be interested in:
http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/04/06/uwe-boll-will-quit-making-movies-with-one-million-signatures/
~D
I signed that one yesterday.
It was for the good of mankind.
Mikeus Caesar
04-15-2008, 16:24
Here is Mr Boll's response to the petition...warning, he swears a lot. Also, you may be offended at the fact he proclaims himself a genius.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=WWqCNmfJ1hY
woad&fangs
04-15-2008, 18:47
*in German Accent*
"I make good movies. Not like all that social critic George Clooney Bull :daisy: "
:laugh4:
200,000 signatures so far.
Edit: Ok, I signed now do your part.
"I am zee only genius in zee whole ******* business." Brilliant, hilarious. A real-life troll, stirring up the boards. I tip my hat to you, sir, you slaughterer of films. Let's make way for the only genius working in film.
The sound effects remind me of James Bond GoldenEye 007 for the N64!
GoldenEye 007 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIvkGcOfz08&feature=related)
Tratorix
04-16-2008, 21:40
Nice to see he managed to slip some promotion for his latest "film" into his response. I signed the petition, not that it will matter. He'll just either say an online petition isn't a real petition or demand something ridiculess like 1 billion signatures. :laugh4:
woad&fangs
04-16-2008, 21:46
But your missing the real point here. If we reach 1 million signatures then he'll have to respond with another youtube vid for us to laugh at:laugh4:
Reverend Joe
04-17-2008, 01:08
I have only known who this man is for five minutes, and already I hate him.
Signature #202584.:smash:
scotchedpommes
04-17-2008, 02:42
"I expect a million votes pro-Boll"
It doesn't surprise me that this comes from a man who fought his critics
in a boxing ring. Would think though that I'm one of many here expecting
he'll have to dream on, as far as that pro-Boll movement is concerned
Mikeus Caesar
04-17-2008, 07:20
"I expect a million votes pro-Boll"
It doesn't surprise me that this comes from a man who fought his critics
in a boxing ring. Would think though that I'm one of many here expecting
he'll have to dream on, as far as that pro-Boll movement is concerned
As bad as his films are, i do like him for this aspect. While most directors would retreat to their ivory towers and whine about how mean film critics are, this guy beats them up in a boxing ring, and then has the nerve to proclaim himself a genius.
You gotta give the guy kudos for speaking his mind, and unashamedly being the eccentric nutjob he is.
As bad as his films are, i do like him for this aspect. While most directors would retreat to their ivory towers and whine about how mean film critics are, this guy beats them up in a boxing ring, and then has the nerve to proclaim himself a genius.
You gotta give the guy kudos for speaking his mind, and unashamedly being the eccentric nutjob he is.
with the slight detail that he pre-screened his challengers to make sure he could win...
I watched the video of one of his boxing matches on youtube.....give me 5 minutes in a ring with the guy....I´ll murdelize him!!!:whip:
scotchedpommes
04-18-2008, 00:55
I´ll murdelize him!!!
I'd like to see that. [It wasn't until some brief research was conducted that I
too saw his methods for 'critic' selection were a bit dubious to say the least.
One of them appears to be an employee of his.]
Spartan198
04-18-2008, 04:15
iirc, whassisname who created the Metal Gear series reacted quite negatively to the suggestion that maybe Boll could make the film adaptations.
Praise Tyche for that.
In all honesty,anyone interested in making a Metal Gear movie should take a bit of a lesson from these guys:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GA4cMk1Mx1Q
If no one here likes Uwe Boll movies, all you have to do is not see them. :P Let us who like them see them though. Please sign the proBoll petition!
LittleGrizzly
04-18-2008, 15:24
If no one here likes Uwe Boll movies, all you have to do is not see them. :P Let us who like them see them though. Please sign the proBoll petition!
I have never seen a Uwe Boll movie and from what i have heard here mainly i probably won't watch one unless by accident, but i have to admit feeling sympathy for the man. Declaring you'll quit or retire if some certain condition is met is asking for trouble, you can get away with it if the condition isn't met but if it is your forced to retire or make up excuses, one is to stop doing what he loves the other is an embaressing come down.
Meet the newest signature on the pro-boll petition!
http://www.petitiononline.com/ub221965/petition.html
Sign here to support Uwe Boll making movies
Grizzly is signature no. 1845, whats that close to 1% of the anti-boll petition, if he could get to say 5-10% of the anti-boll petition to sign the pro-boll petition it would be much easier to ignore...
lol, thank you! It is mostly sympathy with me too, as I do not greatly care for his movies. :P
If no one here likes Uwe Boll movies, all you have to do is not see them. :P Let us who like them see them though. Please sign the proBoll petition!
I have never seen a Uwe Boll movie and from what i have heard here mainly i probably won't watch one unless by accident, but i have to admit feeling sympathy for the man. Declaring you'll quit or retire if some certain condition is met is asking for trouble, you can get away with it if the condition isn't met but if it is your forced to retire or make up excuses, one is to stop doing what he loves the other is an embaressing come down.
Meet the newest signature on the pro-boll petition!
Spartan198
04-19-2008, 02:16
I'm not saying the guy should quit making movies. All I want is for him to quit making video game movies.
Alone in the Dark,Bloodrayne,and now Far Cry? What's next on the hit list?
It's madness,I tell you,madness!
Tratorix
04-19-2008, 04:09
I'm not saying the guy should quit making movies. All I want is for him to quit making video game movies.
Alone in the Dark,Bloodrayne,and now Far Cry? What's next on the hit list?
It's madness,I tell you,madness!
Well, it's not like those games were exactly renowned for their storytelling in the first place. I honestly can't understand why people are so offended about Boll making crappy movies about them. Besides, their hasn't been a good movie based on a video game yet, so if he doesn't screw them up someone else will.
Spartan198
04-20-2008, 04:13
Well, it's not like those games were exactly renowned for their storytelling in the first place. I honestly can't understand why people are so offended about Boll making crappy movies about them. Besides, their hasn't been a good movie based on a video game yet, so if he doesn't screw them up someone else will.
It's not the game plots that I'm talking about,it's the fact that every game-to-movie conversion he makes ends up as some kind of crappy prequel. Take Bloodrayne,for example. The first Bloodrayne movie took place in the Middle Ages,with its sequel being a freaking Western! We all first met Rayne during World War II,not before.
... But the point I'm trying to make is that a prequel,unless made by the same people,should follow parallels to (or someway lead into) the original game. Original plots are fine,as long as they follow that rule. Would a prequel to Resident Evil work if it took place hundreds of years before the original game? No,it wouldn't. And,fortunately with Resident Evil,Paul Anderson followed the above rule,
As for Alone in the Dark and Far Cry,I personally haven't played them,but I do have a cousin who has,and she gets nausiated at any mention of the Alone in the Dark move,and shudders in horror at the remote thought an Uwe Boll adaption of her favorite game.
As for there being no good video game movies,I rather liked Resident Evil,Resident Evil: Apocalypse,Doom,Hitman,and Mortal Kombat.
Warcraft fans rejoice! Uwe Boll will not direct the Warcraft movie!!!
:beam:
http://moviesblog.mtv.com/2008/04/18/uwe-boll-wont-ever-be-entering-the-world-of-warcraft/
Spartan198
04-21-2008, 01:32
What the heck is Warcraft?
TevashSzat
04-22-2008, 01:45
What the heck is Warcraft?
Blasphemy! Warcraft is a demi-god in RTS! :end:
Spartan198
04-22-2008, 05:45
Blasphemy! Warcraft is a demi-god in RTS! :end:
Never heard of it.
Never heard of it.
You haven't heard of World of Warcraft (http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/index.xml)? :inquisitive:
Never heard of it.
Want to marry me? :inquisitive:
Spartan198
04-23-2008, 13:08
You haven't heard of World of Warcraft (http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/index.xml)? :inquisitive:
Nope,not until now.
Want to marry me? :inquisitive:
Are you of the human female species?
Are you of the human female species?
I wish No, I'm of the human male species but that shouldn't be a problem if only we can hate WoW together. No i mean if I can hate it and you never hear of it. :dizzy2:
lol, I will marry you Husar, I hate all things WarCraft. :P
6 months working side-by-side with a WOW maniac that talked about that game every time he opened his mouth left me with a deep hate of that franchise..
my hate of WOW is no rich and creamy I put it on pancakes.
as for Uwe...
CTRL+ALT+DEL reads my mind it seems...
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v677/vincent_pt/20060621.jpg
6 months working side-by-side with a WOW maniac that talked about that game every time he opened his mouth left me with a deep hate of that franchise..
my hate of WOW is no rich and creamy I put it on pancakes.
as for Uwe...
CTRL+ALT+DEL reads my mind it seems...
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v677/vincent_pt/20060621.jpg
You hate WOW too?! YAY! A THREESOME! (is bigomy legal in Holland?)
lol, it is called crude humor. ~;)
Spartan198
04-26-2008, 17:14
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v677/vincent_pt/20060621.jpg
:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:
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