GeneralHankerchief

Well, this has been a long time coming.

With my unmemorable demise in Daggers in the Night, I feel that now is the appropriate time to say what has been on my mind for some while. Basically, I need a break.

For a couple of months now, I've slowly been burning out on Mafia games, although that might not be the most accurate expression. More correct would probably be "burned out", but ignoring/denying it for a while now. I've done some five-minute research to find out exactly when this started. Certainly this year, as I hadn't made a single post after my death in the most recent games: Shadow Fort, Star Wars, and Inishmore. But it's beyond that. I've found myself struggling to stay above water in Shadow Fort, Inishmore, and before that, Noblesse Oblige and Netherworld II. I'm embarrassed to admit that I couldn't tell you how a single one of those games ended and this will unfortunately probably be the case for Daggers in the Night as well.

Looking back even further, I've noticed that I haven't really been much of a factor either in games preceding those previously mentioned as well as games before Mafia IX - all in all, this has probably been coming since I finished hosting Pirate Ship Mafia (which was back in October), with one or two bursts in activity since then that have coincided with games I've hosted. My realization of this came around a month ago with finals bearing down on me, but I reasoned that my activity would pick back up once summer started and I had nothing to do. However, I've been off for just about two weeks ago, and, if anything, my activity has even decreased since finals ended.

This isn't something that increased free time on my end can fix, that much is now clear. The only thing I can do is step away from it all and engineer a full break-off for an extended period of time and allow the metaphorical fire in the belly to return naturally, in its own due time. Therefore, I've come to the decision that I will play one more game: Subotan's "A Bridge Zhou Far" and end my participation in others' Mafia games indefinitely. I wish I could say that this was a hard decision to make, but really, it was the only decision. This scaleback will allow me to better prioritize and concentrate more time on the .Org activities I feel are more important to me personally: Moderating the Gameroom and hosting successful games for you all to enjoy.

I'd like to apologize first to the future hosts; I wish I could take part in your games and I'm sure they will all be very enjoyable and successful, but unfortunately I can't. Understand that this is not about me doubting your ability as a host to provide an excellent game, but it is about me recharging my batteries for Mafia as a whole. Secondly, I'd like to apologize to all of the past hosts in whose games I did not even give close to 100% effort in, and finally to all my fellow players, especially the newer ones, for my less-than-stellar efforts these past several months. You haven't experienced the "True GeneralHankerchief" in quite a while now and I wish this wasn't the case.

This most certainly isn't the end of my relationship with the Gameroom; I'll still be moderating and hosting. I might even be back on my feet and playing again as early as mid-summer. For those of you who don't know, I work the overnight shift in a tollbooth over the summer and can sometimes get internet in there, so I might be back around if traffic is as particularly dead as it was last year. But for now, I need a break, and I can't tell you how long I'm going to need it for.

I wish you the best of luck in future games, and hope that you will ignore my blatant hypocrisy and continue to play mine.

Live long and prosper,
GeneralHankerchief