Gah! Help Me, Please!

Americans only!

I think I'm turning into a closet Frenchman. :shame:

It all began during the recent French elections which I followed more closely than our current primary race. Then Louis (who I suspect is really an influence agent for the DGSE) begins to sway me with his elegantly worded and (deceptively) pro-American statements. Now I'm starting to type things like endeavour and other words I'm too ashamed to mention.

I need :help:

:unitedstates: SHOCK AND Y'ALL, SHOCK AND Y'ALL:unitedstates: :cowboy: :gah2:

M'eh. Just read some of DeGaul's speeches from the early to mid 60's, and you'll be right back with the program. That, or watch some Jerry Lewis... and ask yourself if they're really supposed to be the masters of culture they claim to be, where on Earth does he come in?

*Note: I've been a closet Franco-phile for these past 5 years, I just didn't care for Chirac all that much... an opinion I believe that was widely held within France itself. :france:

Quickly eat some fast food hamburgers and be polite to strangers! That should be enough of a shock to your system.

Go to a gun range and shoot various firearms (but don't use silencers, they're easier to obtain in France than the US!).

Eliminate superfluous U's from your writing, and read Tom Clancy books.

That's phase 1 of the program.

CR

Just make sure you chase your burgers with Freedom Fries, not their evil French cousins...

Well, that goes without saying. We Americans decided long ago to start doing away with foreign subversion of our culture through foodstuffs, delicious as they may be. Also, didn't the Belgians invent fries?

CR

Damn those Belgians with their anti-freedom waffles!

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...ade_France.jpg

I too am shamed to admit something similar...

But I am becoming American...

The other day I spelt labour without the "u". I'm so ashamed :shame:

.
No way! :end:
.

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Originally Posted by Vladimir

I think I'm turning into a closet Frenchman. :shame:

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For the love of god stay in it or you will be a real one!

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Originally Posted by Lemur

Damn those Belgians with their anti-freedom waffles!

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...ade_France.jpg

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Lemur, you're a genius! It's all the Belgian beer I've been drinking! Oh I'm doomed, doomed doomed doomed. :devil:

On second thought :thinking:, if the road to my demise is such a pleasant drive I'll enjoy what I can until the end. I still despise the beret and will keep shaving my armpits, err, wait...

Maybe I can be Belgian instead of French. The Belgians run Europe, right? Thanks everyone.

I fail to see how learning to spell English correctly could lead you to becoming a Frenchman, although I do understand the sentiment, alarm and distress that could ensue from such a emotive response. :clown:

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Originally Posted by Vladimir

Americans only!

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I'm here now...can I get amnesty?

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Originally Posted by Fenring

I'm here now...can I get amnesty?

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Sorry, SORRY. Americans and Dutch. :2thumbsup:

Now I just caused you to be despised by most of Europe. :laugh4:

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Originally Posted by Vladimir

Americans and Dutch. :2thumbsup:

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Damn straight.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Vladimir

The Belgians run Europe, right?

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Yep :belgium: :knight:

As a true multicultist who is half dutch, half german and american and german in spirit I think that's a great development, Vladimir! :laugh4:
There's no need to fight it, the more views you have on the world the better, if only your countrymen would follow your example, we could finally add the USA to the EU. :2thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by Husar

There's no need to fight it, the more views you have on the world the better, if only your countrymen would follow your example, we could finally add the USA to the EU. :2thumbsup:

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And then watch the brown stain form in Russia's pants! Hah! :laugh4: :2thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by Vladimir

The Belgians run Europe, right?

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Missing an i in there.

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Originally Posted by Andres

:belgium: :knight:

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How on earth did he miss

If you really want to feel American get your wife/girlfriend to take a look at your **** and praise it for it's size and ability over and over again until you truly believe you are the greatest example of man in the world. Proceed to watch many war movies, eat junk food and go get into a brawl at your local bar (not pub, B-A-R).
Feelin American now right? we will continue the training later.

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Originally Posted by master of the puppets

If you really want to feel American get your wife/girlfriend to take a look at your **** and praise it for it's size and ability over and over again until you truly believe you are the greatest example of man in the world. Proceed to watch many war movies, eat junk food and go get into a brawl at your local bar (not pub, B-A-R).
Feelin American now right? we will continue the training later.

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Pfft, I don't need a girlfriend for that. I contract that sort of work out. All cash and done discreetly :2thumbsup:

Just watch Team America World Police, it'll have you singing praises of America in no time!

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Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit

Quickly eat some fast food hamburgers and be polite to strangers! That should be enough of a shock to your system.

Go to a gun range and shoot various firearms

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So you're saying he should become a Canadian? I shall never understand your logic.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

~;)

france is a fine place. be happy, there are worse closet nationalities one could fall prey to.