Aboard the Norge.

Author's note:

Lately I have been planning and drafting stories. My main interest is World War 1 and 2 naval warfare. So, I wish for you to evaluate my writing of naval stories. This is a short story, a test story. So, enjoy, and feel free to leave comments, suggestions, critisizms, etc. Now, all aboard the Norge!

Early morning, April 9th, 1940. Norwegian coastal battleship HNoMS Norge. Narvik, Norway.

War between Norway and Germany had just been announced. Han Jarvik, the 20 year old cannon operator and seaman, was stationed aboard the HNoMS Norge. He was playing cards with the other crewmen next to one of the two 21cm main batteries. Thick fog covered the ship and horizon, accompanied by snow, making the Ofotfjord take on a very ghostly appearence. The Norge itself was deeper in the fjord than her sister ship, the HNoMS Eidsvold. Both ships were in view of each other, in case of an emergency.

The card game went on for about 10 minutes before an alarm went off, signaling the call to battlestations. A similar alarm went off on the Eidsvold. "Du må være tullet meg, a drill at this hour?" Hans complained, throwing the card down.

The gunnery officer of Hans' battery ran towards them. The man obviously had just been given a rude awakening, his eyes were red and baggy, and his face rugged, with a somewhat serious look. "Hans, get over here, I want you to take these" he handed him binoculars, "I want you to call out if you see any unidentified ships and give me a reading". "Sir, what the hell is going on?" Hans asked, taking the binoculars. The officer looked at him and said "Report came about German warships". Hans became confused, making his way to the railing to get a better view.

Everything seemed calm, even the fog seemed to have frozen in place. Hans looked through to see the Eidsvold. She seemed to be signaling empty space. A warning shot illuminated the horizon to reveal a destroyer sized ship making way. She stopped, and the fog covered her back up. Hans cursed, how was he expected to do his job if the weather won't allow him to? Nervertheless, he kept his view on the Eidsvold, who seemed to be letting a small boat on board. More than likely, this was the unknown ship sending an officer to discuss something with the coastal battleship.

"Anything, Hans?" the officer shouted.

Hans forgot to call out the ship. "Yes sir, destroyer sized ship, 0 knots, no identified heading, sent party to Eidsvold!" He called out. No reply, but the familiar sound of cannon turning started up. He looked back to see both cannons pointing towards the Eidsvold, ready to fire if the ship came under attack. He noticed another destroyer positioning itself behind the Eidsvold.

Ten minutes had passed, and the captain came down from the bridge. "Boys, the ships are German, the Eidsvold is going to fight, are we going to help her!?" he shouted, in a voice that even the men in the lower compartments could hear him. An acknowledging shout was the reply. The captain made his way back on the bridge.

Hans, inspired, looked back on the Eidsvold. Another few minutes passed, and the sister ship launched a red flare. This was it. They were going to fight. Hans gulped. This was it. He looked again, the Eidsvold went to full power, steaming towards the closest destroyer. Hans looked in awe. He wiped the lens of the binoculars, it was then he heard a familiar sound, an explosion, and his heart sank.

He didn't need the binoculars, he had dropped them in shock. The sounds of the explosions and the amount of illumination could only have come from a coastal battleship. Looking up, he saw the Eidsvold engulfed in a ball of fire. Within seconds that felt like hours, he watched their sister ship sink beneath the icy waves.

"Hans, Hans!" the officer shouted, regaining his attention. "Destroyer incoming, give us a course!"

Hans immediately picked up the binoculars, looked to see a destroyer heading towards them. He shouted the course and speed of the warship, determined to avenge the sinking of the Eidsvold. The first salvo landed in front of the destroyer, the second overshot it. Hans cursed. He kept shouting out readings, determined on scoring a hit.

His eye caught something. Something in the water, long and smooth. His eyes widened.

"Sir torpe-"

An explosion rocked the ship, and Hans virtually disintegrated with the explosion, never finishing his warning. Where he stood was now on fire, a hole in the armor. More explosions. Fireballs engulfed the deck, men running to rafts, some jumping.

The Norge, as like her sister the Eidsvold, sank within minutes. Over half of her crew perished in her first, and final, battle.

Anyone?

I apologize for the delay.

A naval setting is a very interesting one, and one tht can be hard to pull off. There's a lot going on, much to describe. I'd rate it harder to write a naval setting than if you were among land, but that is just my own opinion.

I think you show a good grasp of the setting with this story, the lack of descriptions of both the water and surrounding environment really give it a "dark" sense. Considering the main setting is during night that actually works to your advantage at times but you have to be careful in doing that. Go too long without an environment description and it can become easy for the reader to be lost in that.

All in all I like it. Good work SweedishFish, and again - sorry for the delay in reviewing.