Wedding advice? (No, it's not mine)

In a couple of weeks, my 23-year old cousin is getting married to a wonderful young lady. This may sound great and all, but there's a big catch: There's going to be a wedding, and I'm invited. Being a good relative, I'm going to show up and support him, but as the summer's passed I've grown gradually more and more nervous about how to handle myself during the social gatherings before and after the actual event.

I've never been to one of these before, save for when I was three or four years old and all I had to do was look cute to be proclaimed the life of the party. To top that off, I've never been much of a "party" guy, be it a formal occasion such as these or even more teen-oriented things such as dancing with a bunch of other people. As a matter of fact, if sports is not a major facet of a party, then there's a good chance I'll be completely lost. I've been good about steering clear of these in the past, but that's not an option this time.

So does anyone have any advice here, other than "just grit your teeth and get it over with"? From all reports, my cousin's fiancee is the only bright spot in her family, and I'm sure my family has better things to do than just hang around and talk to a slob that has over 7,000 posts on a Total War forum.

Any input is appreciated! :yes:

Carry some eyedrops so you can fake tears during the ceremony.

But really, is there anyone else you know there? Sucks if there isn't...

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Originally Posted by GeneralHankerchief

Any input is appreciated! :yes:

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Drink heavily. Also remember that at a wedding lots of people feel romantic, so if you aren't attached and are inclined that way, it's a great place to meet willing young lasses.

And drink heavily.

Well, the ceremony is always pretty much boring, but you're really not required to do anything but sit through it, and be quiet.

As for the after party, eat, drink, socialize... people are generally in pretty good spirits at weddings, so the vibe is generally enough for a lot of people to come out of their shell. If not the case, hang out at the bar and get ripped. Either way, somebody is going to probably say something that they will regret having said later, and that will take any of the negative attention off of you.

Wedding = free grog + karaoke, need I say more?

Get really drunk and tell embarrassing stories about your cousin to anyone who will listen.

Is it an open bar? If so. You know what to do! :barrel:

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Originally Posted by Lemur

Also remember that at a wedding lots of people feel romantic, so if you aren't attached and are inclined that way, it's a great place to meet willing young lasses.

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Mmmmm. Bridesmaids! :yes:

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Originally Posted by Lemur

Drink heavily. Also remember that at a wedding lots of people feel romantic, so if you aren't attached and are inclined that way, it's a great place to meet willing young lasses.

And drink heavily.

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Beat me to it! :thumbsup:

Yes get blind drunk and make a grab for the prettiest bridesmaid. It's expected. :laugh4:

The ceremony is no biggy. Just sit there and enjoy the show.

The party, well, assuming you don't know anybody except your cousin, I'd suggest you take a couple of glasses, just talk to somebody who seems to be nice and let things go as they go. There are plenty of people and most are in a good mood, so it shouldn't be too hard to find some good company. You'll be just fine.

Ceremony: probably the master of ceremony will seat people, same with dinner. If not, just sit somewhere in the back. Make sure you went to the toilet because these things can take time and be longwinded.

If you've got a significant other, take her with you, make her suffer so you can both complain afterwards. If not, and you don't know anyone there...make a move on the most attractive free girl around. If you don't know anyone**, no one will care about your FAIL.

When dinner is over and the dancing begins, drink enough to be sociable but not so much you'll be emberassed the next day, unless **. If you really can't find a way to enjoy yourself, forget the booze, it will only give you a headache in the morning, just go outside en enjoy the scenery, bring a phone, laptop, a deck of Magic the Gathering cards so you can play with the other misfits outside.

Don't worry too much about what people think. Most of them will be deaddrunk at the end of the evening to remember anything, and unless you make an enourmous screw-up (like patting the bride on the butt when she's walking down the isle or a loud fart during the "I do" part, the only one truly worrying about it will be you.

Some general great advice everyone should enjoy and take to heart:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

Have a few drinks to get comfortably numb and dance with every pretty girl you can find starting with the bridesmaids.

When I find myself in an awkward social situation I always think of this speech, laugh like a fool and carry on.

Courage. *click the audio button*

drink and enjoy yourself. No self-respecting grown man enjoys a wedding too much crying and sitting around talking to people you haven't seen in twenty years. So just remember that almost every other man there is just as awkward feeling as you are.

Thank the bride and groom for inviting you, dance a couple of times, drink, and find a group of men who look as uncomfortable as you. Then talk about sports or something manly. Oh and drink more.

Man... brings back memories of two years ago. Four cousins, four weddings, four months.... ~:eek:

To top the it off, not only do I not relate to my family out there(NE Iowa, farmfolk), but there was nobody my age(late 17 at the time) that I could tell.

I just took a book with me each time. :sweatdrop:

At the party round up some people and organise a game of Mafia, party style. Make sure you include some of the pretty ladies.
Knowing you - you will ace it and maybe a hotel key or two will find their way to your pocket... :beam:

^

HeHe, exactly play to your strengths with the pretty ladies.

As mentioned before, booze and bridesmaids. :yes: Chances are the bride's party will be hitting the sauce before the ceremony while they prep, so they will be pre-lubricated by the time the reception hits.

Also, have some fun with the disposable cameras they put on the tables. :clown:

You have to stay, and be seen by the Bride and Groom, until the cake-cutting (assuming there is a cake). Staying after that is optional. If you bow out early, shake hands with the Groom and cheek-kiss the Bride, wish them happiness and good health.

If you stick around post-cake, the fellas above have given excellent advice.

Have fun on this new adventure!

Sit with a group of similarly socially awkward guys, and if they are of the drinking variety, then you can sit in the corner grumbling with them until one of them is expelled for urinating on a computer (ok this was a school event but still).

I don't dance, so I absolutely get where you're coming from about weddings. My policy for family weddings (Friends are a little different) is to take my digital camera and try to get good pictures of everything. This gives me something to do other than just get drunk, the bridge and groom will be appreciative when you share them, and you have a perfect ice breaker with any unattached pretty girls in the form of asking them to pose for a picture. (Leads to 'what a lovely dress' or 'your hair is beautifully done' or even 'didn't they pick a great venue/have nice weather' if you're shy)

It's a bit of a geek thing so you won't be the life of the party, but you won't have to spend a couple of hours sitting on your hands talking to boring people either.

:egypt:

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Originally Posted by Ramses II CP

and you have a perfect ice breaker with any unattached pretty girls in the form of asking them to pose for a picture.

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:2thumbsup:

The last wedding I went to, one of my cousin's, was a bit of a disappointment, as the bride's side were from north Queensland (the Aussie equivalent of Texas). I did get to talk to some long lost relos, but the other side turned up in cowboy boots and hats, while we were in suits! Not to mention the music was ridiculously loud (as usual), and you had to shout to the person next to you. Don't drink or dance either, so just talked to relos. Not bad, but could have been better. There wasn't anywhere you could wander off to in peace and quiet either, and no pretty girls either.

Hope that there is somewhere you can escape to, and some people to hang out with. Normally everyone is pretty happy, that always helps.

Weddings can be sooo boring

You'll probably get stuck on the table next to someones grandparents or relatives from out of town.

my advice

take some curious item that will stimulate conversation

and once you get a few drinks under your belt you'll be the life of the party

but dont be like me and go to excess or you'll come a croppa on the dance floor and thats never a good look on the wedding video

"OMG whos the reaallly drunk guy falling over on the dance floor with wine spilt all over his shirt"

Ive marred many a wedding video that way :yes:

Its the boredom you see once you get bored you start drinking to compensate

Basically talk to the people on your table and take an interest in them and use that as a seed for conversation otherwise things can get real dull. Make up some funny story about something that happened to you on the way to the wedding - always a good ice breaker

even if the people are dull as two planks they will liven up if you can manage to carry a conversation with a bit of enthusiasm and a laugh or two - people are as desparate as you for someone to liven things up

Like the frontroom dont bother with politics or serious stuff unless its some over the top rant that will entertain the crowd.

And whatever you do dont start making snarky remarks about the wedding or the wedding party - everyone looks so wonderful oh arnt they perfect for each other or just keep your teeth together.

Basically smile lots, laugh lots and appear to be having a jolly time even if your so bored you wanna drill a hole through your eye into your brain

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Originally Posted by Lord Yunson

"OMG whos the reaallly drunk guy falling over on the dance floor with wine spilt all over his shirt"

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I think a wedding without scandal is unlucky. If somebody's uncle isn't vomiting in the sink, and a bridesmaid isn't running out of the bushes with her dress all rumpled, you aren't really married. That's why I sprang for an open bar for my nuptials, and made sure there were plenty of poorly lit nooks for canoodling.

Maybe you don't want to be the scandalous one personally, but a wedding without incident ... unthinkable.

I know beggars can't be choosy, but does anyone have any advice that doesn't involve mass consumption of alcohol? :laugh4:

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Originally Posted by GeneralHankerchief

I know beggars can't be choosy, but does anyone have any advice that doesn't involve mass consumption of alcohol? :laugh4:

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I have a few, but I'm pretty sure they're all either illegal, a bad idea or both.

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Originally Posted by GeneralHankerchief

I know beggars can't be choosy, but does anyone have any advice that doesn't involve mass consumption of alcohol? :laugh4:

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I thought that getting drunk on somebody else's bill was the entire point of attending weddings... :inquisitive:

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Originally Posted by Lord Yunson

Weddings can be sooo boring

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You probably haven't been in traditional Estonian wedding then. They are never boring and they last 3 days:smash:

As I understand in America weddings=drinking and that's it?

If all else fails, hit on the bride. It won't work and you'll never be invited to another wedding again. Score.

Wedding is something one of the few out of ordinary things you get to do without you wanting to do it besides funeral.

So I guess you'll have to force your self to have fun and try something you never done before. Try talking to the types of people you never talked to before. There is a good chance you won't meet them again, so don't be afraid to take risks.

I'm sure you could find make something out of it. :yes:

So far, I've never been to one. None of my cousins are married yet. :smash:

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Originally Posted by Mithrandir

If all else fails, hit on the bride. It won't work and you'll never be invited to another wedding again. Score.

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Yeh Hes right

Disgrace yourself in some way, that way you'll be talked about for the rest of their lives - almost better than being immortal :2thumbsup: