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If you want to keep the conversation going, talk about popular culture. You don't know the other persons interests, so your best bet for a conversation is current events. "Did you see that episode of x last night?" "Did you read about [political event]"
If you take it to politics, safest way is to only talk about events that are condemed by all, so say an MP steals, thats fine. Controversial new act in parliament, not fine.
As for never getting a discussion going, try this. If you want to get it going, whenever asked a question, answer it, but end your answer with another question.
most basic example:
Her: Hi, how are you?
You: Fine.
Thats wrong.
Her: Hi, how are you?
You: Fine thanks, how are you?
Correct.
If you aren't comfortable taking control, just keep it going and it will naturally evolve. All you gotta do is take the lesson from theatresports 'never say no' (don't make dead ends, always answer with a question, it keeps it going)
no pever. rhy wants to know about banter. this is banter rhy
hey X
wats up?
you going out girl?
yeah im going out tonight.
try to stay away from me i dont want to draw you in with my natural wit and boyish good looks.
and increase in vulgarity.
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banter is flirting rhy. it just requires an ego (even a fake one) and confidence about ego.
like you couldnt handle me anyway.
or you wouldnt know what to do with me.
while not being a total pig. it often requires a delicate balance
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banter is not small talk when its with a female its an interchange of witty things oftentimes with sexual innuendos., if a female is telling you you arent good at banter she means flirting
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Banter does not always connote flirting. At least not where I'm from.
I can give you some of mine
I talk way to much and have to many friends
Hit the gym, lawyer up and delete your facebook account.
Then proceed to talk about how you did all of that. Conversation started.
. ban·tered, ban·ter·ing, ban·ters. v.tr. To speak to in a playful or teasing way. v.intr. To exchange mildly teasing remarks.
lirt: playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest
this girl probably meant more along the lines of flirting
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WRONG!Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr
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I did.
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Step one: Don't say the word 'banter'.
I'll be back with more later.
soak in everything that craterus says, try to get hold of a picture of him and imitate his looks because this boy has the natural charm thing going on you only see in teh moviesQuote:
Originally Posted by Craterus
or go black, grow a swagger and buy a big dingdong XD
whichever suits you best.
Sounds to me like you need to figure out how to tell a few funny stories.
people always have great time for storytellers FACT
you need to be a good liar or have a social life to have funny stories. she likely wont find your conversations with us humorous.
Insult people. That is the sole basis of my banter.
I listen to a lot of standup comedy....and I notice I end up putting a lot of things i hear into casual conversation.....good to get a girl to laugh for example.
thisQuote:
Originally Posted by johnhughthom
Quick lines for ya, rhy:
Do you have anymore classes after this? [answer] Oh, that sounds nice! I think I heard of it before, but tell me about it./ Oh, done for the day, huh? Heading home after this, or work or something?
You look tired. (This actually got me a date one time, and eventually laid) (the thing is, she WAS tired, and went on to explain WHY she was tired, lmao)
What are you majoring in?
Is this your 4th/senior year?
Got any projects or assignments due soon? (You can discuss your big 30-page essay, Rhy)
Oh, I'm so exhausted! [Lol why?] I've been working on this tedious paper lately...
Bow-chicka-bow-wow! [chicka-bow-a-wow] [simultaneous laughter] <---- there's a good chance that might work. I think I'll try it sometime soon.
Socializing is easy, if your remember a few simple rules.
1) Humor is welcome everywhere, use it. Just make sure the humor is appropriate for the social circumstances.
2) Do not talk about yourself unless asked. Nothing is more boring than listening to someone go on and on about themselves. You can interject your own experiences into a conversation, but keep the focus of the conversation on the subject. Note that you should not stop other people from talking about themselves, particularly women. While it may be boring, your objective is to be a good conversationalist, not to be entertained.
3) Make it clear that you are paying attention to what the other person is saying. Body language (i.e. nodding your head) is useful, but nothing is better than asking questions. It is very easy to use a question to get more information out of a person, and it's easy to come up with questions. Pick a specific thing that the other person just talked about, and ask for more information about it or probe deeper in another fashion. This makes the other person feel like you are interested in what they are saying, and it lets the other person do most of the work while still giving you credit for being involved.
4) Beware discussing controversial topics (i.e. politics, religion, etc.) until you know exactly how the other person feels about them. It's bad form to get into a controversial discussion during an otherwise casual conversation unless its with a close friend. If the other person goes down this path, redirect the conversation away from the point as best you can. Agree with them where possible, say that you understand that point of view where possible, but never ever disagree.
Laughing at other people is a bit of a dead end. It ultimately makes you look like a total nob when it backfires or you cross the line, but it is cheap and an easy way to build mutual understanding (disliking someone else).
Having a bit of humility and the ability to laugh at yourself a bit is, for me at least, better. And (nice) chicks dig it.
As Pever says, you do need to talk about things that will be understood and appreciated.
Just say whatever is on your mind. It doesn't matter if it is goofy or uninspired. Some women might find your bashfulness and perhaps, innocense becoming. Some may say that the strong and assertive men get all the women, but there are women for the meeker among men as well. I guess they just might be somewhat harder to find. I have seen them before, they are lovely!
On the other hand, if you don't want to be seen as a limp-wristed girly-man:Quote:
Originally Posted by TinCow
1) Use humour that is wildly inappropriate for the social circumstances.
2) Talk about yourself constantly.
3) Make it clear that you are totally uninterested in what other people have to say.
4) Provide detailed explanation of your most controversial beliefs as often - and as loudly - as possible.
In this way, you will demonstrate to other people that you are the kind of confident, self-assured guy they should aspire to spend more time with. :cool:
As soon as you make them laugh, leave the room. Always make laughter their last impression of you.