The 1st Roman X-Games

Envious of their Greek counterparts the Romans staged the Ist Roman X-Games (Extreme-Games).

HeadHurlers Baseball – Baseball with bigger balls.

Master of Ceremony Julius: What’s the umpire shouting to the officials Scipio?
Master of Ceremony Scipio: He said “Chop some more, we’re out of regulation sized head”.

Elephant Toss Gymnastics – Participants must stand still inside a circle while the Elephant charge and (hopefully) toss the contestant high up in the air. Perfect 10 for great acrobatics and perfect landing.

MC Julius: Wheww!! That is a great landing. Give the man a perfect 10!
MC Scipio: Yeah, he’s bloody and bruised Jules, but he knows how to stick it!

Legionaire Marathon – Fully equipped Legionaires run a full Marathon.

MC Julius: I’m impressed by the stamina of these athletes; they run like horses. I wonder how do they train Scip?
MC Scipio: With wardogs Julius, wardogs…

Flaming Pig Wrestling – Naked contestants try to catch and take down flaming pigs.

MC Julius: We’re awashed in thick smoke, screaming and squealing Scip, but I know what I smell…
MC Scipio: Ditto Jules. The Paramedics are already wagering in favor of the pigs!

Greek Phalanx High Jump – Constestants try to clear a Greek Phalanx.

MC Julius: Wow, Marcelonius just barely cleared the pointy spears, narrowly escaping sure death! He just won the competition with a spec-ta-cu-lar jump!
MC Scipio: Hold on Jules, it appears that Marcelonius is being disqualified for drinking Gatorade!
MC Julius: And what a dramatic turn of events! The Champion has been...stripped of his medal!
MC Scipio: Jules, the rules clearly state that there should be no advertisements or endorsement during the RX-Games.
MC Julius: True Scipio, this is going to be a hot topic at the Bathhouses for sure, no pun intended….

~:joker: