governors

It seems that I am constantly having to install governors in cities, I move one in and a few years later he's gone.

People die and babies are born.

Do'nt really see what you are trying to get at here but my guess is your empire is getting bigger and bigger. While you are gaining land you are'nt gaining or not gaining as many extra governors. Well it is nice in the beginning where you can have a general per city but as the empire expands it becomes less practical. The game was meant to be that way I believe and there is not much you can do about it. The best thing you can do is pick a central city to have a governor in to service the rebels and surrounding cities when it is needed. Numantia is a good place to put a general to take care of all of Spain but due to Corduba's excellent farmland (bunny rabbit induced population) you may want one there instead or have 1 both in Numantia and Corduba.

As far as not having a governor in a province you still can control the building and training of troops. Just make sure you uncheck those boxes on the middle right of city details, that say construction or recruitment, when a general leaves. The only thing you ca'nt do is control the taxes directly but you have a palethera of options in its build policy that will determine its taxes

Bribery is the way forwards for me. Enemy army coming to siege your city? Throw money at it, unless you're really inept, you should have plenty. If it's too early in the game to have that kind of cash, there shouldn't be a family member shortage anyway.

Recently amused myself by invading Italy with an army that included several Roman generals. Didn't forget the diplomats of course, and bribed most of the response armies that got sent my way - even more family members for me.