Metal, how to save the princess from the dragon

METAL!!!

HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some beers and ****s the princess.

GRIND METAL: The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest.

TRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and ****s her....... easy and quick.

FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing
accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the
dragon falls asleep (from all the dancing) protagonist leaves without the princess.

VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty mighty axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, loots the castle and burns it down before he leaves.

DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, ****s the
princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL: The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in the front of the castle.....then sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impales the deflowered princess.

GORE METAL: CENSORED (see Cannibal Corpse lyrics for details)

DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that he never could beat him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon eats his body and the princess as well.

PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist goes to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques learned in the last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes, and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist.

GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

INDUSTRIAL METAL: The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes obscene gestures towards the dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

CHRISTIAN METAL: The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to "thank" the protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage."

TECH METAL: The protagonist plays a whole tone riff switching between 11/16 and 23/16 with his left hand, while he taps a descending chromatic pattern with his right hand. The dragon suffers a massive brain aneurysm and dies, and the princess runs off to music school so she can understand what the protagonist was playing.


~D

Heavy Metal everytime! ~:cool:

ROFLMAO! :laugh4:

My Norweigen blood is calling to me.

Viking Metal! :evil:

Quote:

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TECH METAL: The protagonist plays a whole tone riff switching between 11/16 and 23/16 with his left hand, while he taps a descending chromatic pattern with his right hand. The dragon suffers a massive brain aneurysm and dies, and the princess runs off to music school so she can understand what the protagonist was playing.

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Ahahaha! That's good.

Concur with JAG!!!

For me it would be,
Thrash metal
Heavy metal
Viking metal
In that order.

I pity the poor princess :yes: The dragon too :yes:

Surely this can provide inspiration for more adventures for Princess Eleanor froggy?


And what the hell is Folk Metal???? ~:confused:

Come to Beijing, we have Dess Maitou here...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mount Suribachi

Surely this can provide inspiration for more adventures for Princess Eleanor froggy?

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That depends on whether you mean the original Eleanor from my first attempt at the story around a year ago or the new version of the character in the second attempt I'm currently posting in the mead hall. The first version: given the princess's fate in most of those little clips, no not a chance in hell. The current Eleanor: ... well, there are no dragons and no metal music in her world and her fate is already carefully planned in most respects.

EDIT: Actually, you know the main reason I keep the frog princess title thing quiet is the whole dragon thing. Being kidnapped is so inconvenient, it inflates my insurance premiums, and I do get fed up of telling my rescuers to keep all their appendages to themselves unless they want a poisoned geisha hairpin someone eye watering :tongueg: Fortunately most people call me lady frog or something similarly not royal, making me less attractive to dragons.

My order:

Gore Metal
Black Metal
Tech Metal.