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22 Aphorisms*
*An aphorism is a tersely phrased statement of a truth or opinion; an adage.
- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
- The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
- Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
- Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
- Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
- The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
- Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
- Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
- To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
- Two wrongs are only the beginning.
- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
- Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
- Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things.
- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
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