Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog

It's been slow on the creative headline front this week, but here's a new favourite.

Sonic pin ball

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

By Lester Haines
Published Friday 15th September 2006 11:34 GMT

A Serbian man who went to a witchdoctor in search of a cure for premature ejaculation rather foolishly took the shaman's advice, viz: have sex with a hedgehog.

You know the rest: Zoran Nikolovic, 35, from Belgrade, ended up in the hospital with severe lacerations to his wedding tackle, according to Ananova. A hospital spokesman said: "The animal was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter. We have managed to repair the damage to his penis."

We contacted a member of the International Association of Witchdoctors this morning for a comment. He told us: "This demonstrates the dangers in consulting unlicenced witchdoctors. We advise anyone with ejaculatory disfunction to consult our list of approved practitioners."

On the matter of premature ejaculation, he added: "Mix one teaspoon of powdered ocelot spleen with Red Bull under a full moon. Drink one hour before attempting penetration while sitting in a pentacle formed by toad skulls. Then, when you're on the job, think about the mother-in-law and filling in tax returns." ®

:laugh4:

remember kids.....

when It comes to hedgehogs......

No really means NO!

:laugh4:

Ooo-E ooo-ahah, ting tang (walawala bing bang). Ooo-e ooo-ahah ting tang walawala bing bang. :2thumbsup:

Edit: Had to clean up the language, don't want a warning you know.

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"Mix one teaspoon of powdered ocelot spleen with Red Bull under a full moon..."

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And me, fresh out. One wonders if ocelot spleen extract is a viable substitute for powder?

https://img147.imageshack.us/img147/...njeremynw8.jpg

I think the witchdoctor meant he should hang out with this guy. ~D

There are licenced witchdoctors? Who knew.

To look on the bright side, the man did prick the hedgehog once.

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Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro

There are licenced witchdoctors? Who knew.

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I didn't know there were witchdoctors. Serbia rules.

Scoff all you want, but I'll bet the guy didn't blow his stack prematurely with the hedgehog.

Witch doctor +1

Excellent point, I must say.

:laugh4:

Good job Serbia. Or maybe, Serbia: A land of promise and sex with hedgehoges??? :laugh4:

:laugh4:

I wonder if there has been a history of this sort of advice in Serbia?
Maybe they have an entire ward for witch doctor advice gone wrong.

Do they sell Pratchett novels in Serbia?

wait....this is odd?

lol, that story is just so... awesome? Is that the right word...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by GoreBag

I didn't know there were witchdoctors. Serbia rules.

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Indeed, I just gained a whole new level of respect for that country.

I bet he felt a right prick. :laugh4:

IA, that was much funnier than it should have been.

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Originally Posted by InsaneApache

I bet he felt a right prick. :laugh4:

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Yeah, the Serb guy too, I think.

i really want to join the international association of witchdoctors, does it cost much?

And also, is this kind of thing like...normal in Serbia, because im going on hoiday there next year, and im getting very very worried :inquisitive: