Whilst playing with Russia I was alarmed that shortly afterwards the invasion the Mongols swept “Borg” style throughout the Middle East.
But to set the scene, my Russian empire had swept through much of modern Russia with the exception of the Caucuses. I had invaded and terminated the Scots and English and had a small holding in France. I had also been waging war with the Danes. With this in mind the Mongols invaded – was I worried? No I considered that my Northern and Island Empire had plenty of time to rally additional forces and high tech weapons against the hoards. So I duly sent a spy down South to see how my egotistical rivals and kindred spirits were doing, me calm cool collected, then I heard and saw the below….
They had terminated the Turks, Egyptians and reduced the Byzantines to a single island backwater. They had taken Constantinople and this looked like the stepping stone to my stomping ground of my Empire.
Panic !
What did I do then?
Well they were too far away for my Vodka sodden forces to reach out and poke in the eye so I gave birth to my old school KGB to wage war by proxy. This resulted in a massive Assassin and Spy “Silk Road” down to the former Byzantine territories.
The conventional forces of the Empire were given a well deserved rest as the unconventional forces swept down with their fake passports and false moustaches still wet from the joke shop.
I had tasked the forces with raising hell in Constantinople hoping that this would cause the general populace to riot and eject the Mongols. This took lots of time as many Assassins gathered there for their annual summer civil demolition expo got to work with their task – the delay I was informed was due to the wrong type of matches for the fuses but I think they had just a little too much fun in the Tavern on their difficult casing mission. Eventually after much fireworks and singed eyebrows they succeeded and the city rose up and ejected the invaders.
This came as relief as an uber stack was en route to the Hungarians border. The stack did an U-turn and started back to the Rebellious city to smite verily oh yea ! After this initial success there was a critical mass of Assassins and Spies lurking around gift shops and duty free shops waiting for the next job. I moved the KGB school outing down into Turkey to cause some more mischief.
Then the Mongols did something very smart, whilst they were busy recapturing the city, they had started to place their own spies in their own cities. These pesky fellows were all over the shop with buckets of water waiting for my comedy style length fuses to fizz past them as they did a lap of honour onto the “exploding eggs of doom”.
This was not good news to the leadership of the Russian empire.
Receipts for expenses were being sent back to the Empire by the cartload. Normal for such an outing but the thing that worried the leadership was a general lack of souvenirs – e.g here is a stone from the Racing Track that er fell down the stairs…
Something had to be done.
At this stage it was suggested by the leadership that it was time to recall the conventional forces from the wilds of Wales were they were learning the art of survival from the forefather of Ray Mears to more active duty in preparation of their impending skewering on the Mongol war machine.
A enterprising your Prince decided in the meantime that now was a good time to get on a boat and head off down to the Med via some smashing beaches in Spain ..
Meanwhile back in central Turkey, in fits of despair of not being able to creatively destroy a building of general amusement to the local populace decided to go down to the Holy Land and look at the sights. Whilst down there they noticed something very interesting throughout that region (which is the whole reason for this post) they were only population by single family members. Who did indeed look scary with their masks on, presumably to protect from the sun, were a little thin on the ground to provide protection to civic amenities.
The result sudden strikes on poorly defended cities which led to civil revolts and the Mongol expeditionary forces dropping their bows and arrows and pick up their batons. Hungary saved and my soft underbelly of the Empire saved.
Has anyone else noticed this ?
