News you don't need but may like

Okay so it is a slow boring day. Maybe some of this will lighten the mood.



If you are tired of life you may try to use this with your lady friends.

German cancer researchers, writing in a January journal article, reported that any exercise helped ward off breast cancer in pre-menopausal women but that housework-type exercise worked for all women and was superior to job-based or leisure-based exercise. [Medical News Today, 12-29-06; Cancer Epidemiology Biomarkers & Prevention, January 2007]

If someone is looking for a good wife?

A female chimpanzee, Judy, escaped at the Little Rock (Ark.) Zoo in January and, as she moved about, was observed entering a bathroom, grabbing a brush, and cleaning a toilet. She also wrung out a sponge and cleaned off a refrigerator, according to an Associated Press report. [CBS News-AP, 1-17-07]
She was obviously recaptured before she could do the ironing!

And a bit of risk management….

The fire alarm at the Sea Life Centre in Weymouth, England, sounded one night in December, attributed to a diet of brussels sprouts fed to a turtle. Marine biologist Sarah Leaney of the Centre explained that the turtle's resulting flatulence probably created bubbles that raised the water level enough to trigger the alarm. [Daily Record (Glasgow), 12- 27-06]

And what would you do?

OCONOMOWOC, Wis. (AP) - A Wisconsin man said he broke into an apartment with a cavalry sword because he thought he heard a woman being raped but the sound was from a pornographic movie his upstairs neighbour was watching.
"Now I feel stupid," said James Van Iveren, who has been charged in the case. "This really is nothing, nothing but a mistake."
A criminal complaint said the neighbour told police Van Iveren pounded on the door and kicked it open without warning Feb. 12, damaging the frame and lock.
"Where is she?" Van Iveren demanded, thrusting the sword at the neighbour, the complaint said.
"Where is she?"
The neighbour told police Van Iveren became increasingly aggressive as he repeated the question, insisting he had heard a woman being raped. The complaint said, with the sword pointed at him, the neighbour led Van Iveren through the apartment, opening closet doors to prove he was alone.
The neighbour later played for police the part of the DVD he believed Van Iveren heard downstairs.
Van Iveren, 39, of Oconomowoc, was charged with criminal trespass, criminal damage and disorderly conduct, all while using a dangerous weapon, and is due in court March 5. Together, the misdemeanour counts carry a maximum sentence of 33 months in jail.
Van Iveren said Tuesday he heard a woman "screaming for help," grabbed the sword, bounded up the stairs, kicked in the apartment door and confronted the man who lived there.
"I intended to hold it behind my back and knock. But I froze and instead, what happened happened," he told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel newspaper.
Contesting his neighbour's account, Van Iveren said he didn't look anywhere in the apartment except the front room and he never threatened the neighbour with the sword.
"I had the sword extended. But that was all," he said.
Van Iveren, who lives with his mother in the downstairs apartment, said he did not call police when he heard the noises because he does not have a telephone. He said he barely knew the upstairs tenant.
Police seized Van Iveren's sword, which he said was a family heirloom.

I think Judy the chimp was just trying to ward off breast cancer.

Our local morning DJs were just talking about the Van Iveren story. I have to give the guy some style points. The cavalry sword gives the mis-adventure an over-the-top flair. :2thumbsup:

I can't believe the guy is taken to court over that... He overreacted, but so what? No irreparable damage has been done. And he didn't even get to use the sword!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SwordsMaster

I can't believe the guy is taken to court over that... He overreacted, but so what? No irreparable damage has been done. And he didn't even get to use the sword!

---

Criminal damage and threatening with a sword? I'd say he has a case to answer.

He's lucky he doesn't live in Texas - he'd have been shot down like a dog, so I am led to understand. :beam:

But if he went to prison over intending to protect a woman, wouldn't that be sad?

What should he have done?

Knock on the door quietly, and when answered go "Excuse me, do you happen to be raping someone this very moment? If so, would it be too much to ask to keep it down? Otherwise I will be forced to call the authorities that will take half an hour to get here. Good day"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SwordsMaster

I can't believe the guy is taken to court over that... He overreacted, but so what? No irreparable damage has been done. And he didn't even get to use the sword!

---

I agree with you and Gregoshi - I hope the jury let's the guy off. Dashing to a lady in peril with sword drawn sounds rather noble. :charge:

A particular contrast to the grubby fellow watching porn at full volume who is pressing charges.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Banquo's Ghost

Criminal damage and threatening with a sword? I'd say he has a case to answer.

He's lucky he doesn't live in Texas - he'd have been shot down like a dog, so I am led to understand. :beam:

---

Only if he were also homeless, sans green card, and trying to vote.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by KukriKhan

Only if he were also homeless, sans green card, and trying to vote.

---

Depending on the vote and if he's trafficking cocaine.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by econ21

A particular contrast to the grubby fellow watching porn at full volume who is pressing charges.

---

Well I would be slightly crossed too if a guy busted my door and threatened me with a sword in a porno session :furious3: .
Still it was a noble act I suppose and hope the jury clears him :knight:

That guy acted in good faith, and should be hailed.

As to his neighbour, sure it sucks having a guy with a drawn sword smash in your front door. But I don't think I would have the cheek to press charges if I were caught watching smutty pron on sunday morning, with a volume so loud my neighbours could hear word by word what the movie is about.

Plus this guy should be released out of sheer respect for his chivalry and style. I mean, barging in to rescue a dame in distress with a historical sword!? ~:eek: :beam: :2thumbsup:

Somebody please add this guy to a M:TW mod!
Charge: 8
Attack: 4
Defense: 0
Armour: 0
Morale: 8
And full valour bonusses.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by luigi VI di Fatlington

But I don't think I would have the cheek to press charges if I were caught watching smutty pron on sunday morning,

---

what other kind is there?
If your porn isn´t smutty then someone along the production line isn´t doing their job properly :laugh4:

Quote:

---

That guy acted in good faith, and should be hailed.

---

That's the key right there. The dummy who couldn't turn the sound down or wear headphones so as not to disturb his neighbors is just embarrassed and acting like a jerk. Counter sue for disturbing the peace and ask the authorities to seach his movie collection for kiddie porn.

My favourite news of the day:
A German mine hunting craft beached near Norway.

For pictures look here:
http://www.express.de/servlet/Satell...=1171013966827

Seems like the navigator is to blame :furious3:

I found this totally hilarious because 9 years ago, when I was a conscript, I was serving as deputy navigator on a boat of the same type. :laugh4:

Seems like the navy has been lowering her standards since I left. ~;)

"command,conn - be advised dept under keel is....zero" :smash: :laugh4:

Quote:

---

Van Iveren, who lives with his mother in the downstairs apartment, said he did not call police when he heard the noises because he does not have a telephone. He said he barely knew the upstairs tenant.

---

Lives with his mother, doesn't have a phone, busts in the neighbour's door with a cavalry sword to stop the man mid-rape. I'm willing to bet money that this guy loves to LARP.

A new Government program….


SANTA FE, N.M. (AP) - New Mexico is taking its fight against drunken driving to men's restrooms around the state. The state has ordered 500 talking urinal cakes that will deliver a recorded anti-DWI message to bar and restaurant patrons who make one last pit stop before getting behind the wheel.
"Hey there, big guy. Having a few drinks?" a female voice says a few seconds after an approaching male sets off a motion sensor in the device. "It's time to call a cab or ask a sober friend for a ride home."
Transportation Department spokesman S.U. Mahesh said the urinal cakes are a way to reach one group that's a target of state safety campaigns. Men commit about three times as many drunken-driving infractions as women.
The devices, manufactured by New York-based Healthquest Technologies Inc., were invented by Richard Deutsch. He said there's no other device like it on the market.

"The idea is based on the concept that there is no more captive audience than a guy standing at a urinal," Deutsch said. "You can't look right and you can't look left; you've got to look at the ad."
Public awareness campaigns in New York, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Minnesota and Australia have used the devices, as have commercial advertisers.
In New Mexico, the device uses the state DWI slogan "You drink, you drive, you lose."
Some Albuquerque bars installed the devices this week, and the state plans to distribute them to Santa Fe bars and restaurants as well as establishments in Farmington, Gallup and Las Cruces.
The state spent $21 for each talking urinal cake for the pilot program but will ask bars and restaurants to pay for future orders if the idea catch on, Mahesh said.
The cakes have enough battery power to last about three months.

http://apnews.excite.com/article/200...D8N9SK980.html

I don't know what to think about that last one.

:inquisitive:

Am I the only chap out there who does not need to stare at his own penis to avoid missing the urinal at 8 " range? After all, most of us are covering at least half that distance before letting loose, no?

In decent establishments, I'm reading the editorial or sport page thoughtfully posted above my chosen "pit to hiss in."

In more minimalist establishments, I'm usually reading the trademark "American Standard" and waiting for my bladder to announce it's time to zip, wash, and return to a more olfactorily pleasant locale.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Seamus Fermanagh

:inquisitive:

Am I the only chap out there who does not need to stare at his own penis to avoid missing the urinal at 8 " range? After all, most of us are covering at least half that distance before letting loose, no?

In decent establishments, I'm reading the editorial or sport page thoughtfully posted above my chosen "pit to hiss in."

In more minimalist establishments, I'm usually reading the trademark "American Standard" and waiting for my bladder to announce it's time to zip, wash, and return to a more olfactorily pleasant locale.

---

Well, the true virtuosos among us, do it from the door. In which case the ad on top of the urinal would go to waste....

I hope you're a volunteer firefighter as well!

One should use one's talents for the public good.

ROFLOL … Okay people making such clams are sometimes compensating for something…

Anyway has anyone checked ebay to see if they have any talking urinal cakes…LMAO…

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Seamus Fermanagh

I hope you're a volunteer firefighter as well!

One should use one's talents for the public good.

---

Hell no! I wouldn't put any source of potentially painful heat anywhere close to the.... ehm .... apparatus.:sweatdrop:

One need only look at the floor beneath a urinal or spend some time cleaning a toilet to realize that a man's aim is never as great as he thinks it is. :yes:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gregoshi

One need only look at the floor beneath a urinal or spend some time cleaning a toilet to realize that a man's aim is never as great as he thinks it is. :yes:

---

Amen :shame:

Will "Flying Squirrel" Suit Let Skydivers Jump Without Chutes?

Who wants to be the first to try?


http://news.nationalgeographic.com/n...-wingsuit.html