I've got a puppy and I'm not afraid to use it

Puppies don't pelt people - people pelt people. (With puppies, apparently).

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Australian man pelted with puppies during dog theft
NZPA | Monday, 26 February 2007

SYDNEY: An Australian man was in a serious condition in hospital after he was stabbed and pelted with puppies when he tried to stop thieves stealing rare dogs, police said on Monday.

The man found an intruder stealing dogs when he returned with a friend to her home in suburban Melbourne late on Sunday.

"As they've approached her property they've seen a man running out of the premises with five Jack Russell cross dachshund puppies," police spokesman Adam West said.
The thief was attempting to drive off with the dogs when the unidentified man ran up to the car and began kicking it. The intruder responded by throwing two of the puppies at him.

"As he's kicking the car another man's got out of the car and stabbed him several times, causing serious injuries," Australian Associated Press quoted West as saying.

A spokesman for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals said organised gangs were stealing exotic breeds of puppies and were not afraid to use violence.

I should make it clear that these were whole puppies, not pelts being used to pelt. Puppy pelts are no use for pelting. Pelting people with pet puppy pelts is pretty petulant.

And really, using "Jack Russell cross dachshund puppies." :no: That's low.

I want a Constitutional Amendment that gives me the right to bear puppies...

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Originally Posted by Stuff

SYDNEY: An Australian man was in a serious condition in hospital after he was stabbed and pelted with puppies when he tried to stop thieves stealing rare dogs, police said on Monday.

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I'd like to know how he was stabbed with puppies. Does anyone know the penetrative power of a puppy when used as a piercing weapon?

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Originally Posted by Banquo's Ghost

I should make it clear that these were whole puppies, not pelts being used to pelt. Puppy pelts are no use for pelting. Pelting people with pet puppy pelts is pretty petulant.

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Patting peopple with pets is also the pits, particularly if they've been purchased for the pot. Put those putzes diown, I propose.

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Originally Posted by Pannonian

I'd like to know how he was stabbed with puppies. Does anyone know the penetrative power of a puppy when used as a piercing weapon?

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Sounds like a job for Mythbusters

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Originally Posted by ShadeHonestus

I want a Constitutional Amendment that gives me the right to bear puppies...

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You can't bear puppies, Stan, you haven't got a womb. Where's the foetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?

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Originally Posted by Banquo's Ghost

You can't bear puppies, Stan, you haven't got a womb. Where's the foetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?

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Don't you oppress me! It's not my fault that I can't bear puppies (which is nobody's fault, not even George W. Bush's), but I should have the right to bear puppies.

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Originally Posted by Banquo's Ghost

I should make it clear that these were whole puppies, not pelts being used to pelt. Puppy pelts are no use for pelting. Pelting people with pet puppy pelts is pretty petulant.

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Perforce, one were to apply the proper velocity, pelting people with puppy pelts could be particularly pugnacious and provocative.

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Originally Posted by BG

You can't bear puppies, Stan, you haven't got a womb. Where's the foetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?

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This sounds like discrimination.

Perpostroues!!! Popping a pompous persuer with a puppy should be permissable. Paaahleeese!!!

Robberies such as this can only escalate the canine arms race. Breeders of rare dogs in Oz will now be registering to carry concealed dingos. Dog thieves, beware!

I'm not sure which is weirder, that someone would want to crossbreed Jack Russells and Dachshunds (and consider this "rare"?), or that someone would be willing to steal the results of such a breeding and use physical violence to that end. :inquisitive:

I guess it's a good thing that robber's don't seem to be too smart. Throwing the puppies you just stole at the guy. :shrug:

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Originally Posted by ShadeHonestus

I want a Constitutional Amendment that gives me the right to bear puppies...

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You sure you don't want the right to bare puppies ? You know, so you can get their pelts...

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Originally Posted by Blodrast

You sure you don't want the right to bare puppies ? You know, so you can get their pelts...

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I'd have to lobby PETA for that, they hold the street cred on those issues.

*flashes the PETA sign*