Fruit of the Vine - A Makedonian Tale
Makedonia, the root of empires. Makedonia, the military machine that conquered Persia. Makedonia, home of Megas Alexandros. And several of his cousins. Cousins you might call connoisseurs of wine...
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Autumn, 248 BC
Kappodokia Pontika
Alkyoneus Gonatas was a man unused to failure. Indeed, failure was almost a wholly foreign concept to him. He, the vanquisher of Phyrros and his damnable Epeirotes, the conqueror of Halikarnassos and Rhodos, fail? The idea was laughable.
Unfortunately for Alkyoneus, king of Makedonia, vanquisher of Epeiros, victor at Rhodos, &c, &c, passing up good wine was another concept wholly foreign to him. One simply does not abstain from a bit of good Aitolian wine, even on the eve of battle. Especially on the eve of battle. So perhaps our good man Alkyoneus overindulged a bit on the fruit of those Aitolian vines? No matter. The foolish king of Pontos was outnumbered nearly two to one. And the plan was simple anyway: kill as many of the Pontic royal family as possible. It's difficult for dead men to hold a throne, after all.
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Alkyoneus, King of Makedonia
Ever since the conquest of Byzantion, the "kingdom" of Pontos had been a minor irritation, a miniature thorn in Alkyoneus' side. The fools decided to declare war on Makedonia - a declaration that had no ramifications whatsoever, considering that Alkyoneus commanded all of Hellas and Pontos consisted of a single province in northern Kappadokia. Now Alkyoneus hoped to gain their province, eliminate an ally of the Seleukids, and perhaps find a few new vineyards...
To that end, the Makedonian king besieged the capital of Pontos, awaiting the inevitable counterattack from the Pontic field army. When the counterattack came, Alkyoneus would array the bulk of his forces against the field army, while a small rearguard would deal with the smaller city garrison. With skillful maneuvering, and a little bit of luck, Alkyoneus planned to entrap the majority of the Pontic royal family and slaughter them, leaving their kingdom his for the taking.
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The Makedonian army
As predicted, the Pontic field army attacked Alkyoneus in an effort to break of the siege of their capital. Alkyoneus, thoroughly satisfied with his plan and his Aitolian wine, arranged the majority of his pezhetairoi battle line against the southeast, with a few pezhetairoi, plus his veteran argyraspidai, guarding against incursion from the northeast.
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Alkyoneus inspects his battle line
The Pontic rulers, their cavalry bodyguards, and their Persian levies approached the Makedonians from both sides. Alkyoneus watched from the center of the Makedonian lines, eagerly (and, perhaps, slightly drunkenly) awaiting the demise of the royal family of Pontos. As the first elements of the Ponic levies engaged the Makedonian rearguard, the tipsy Makedonian king noticed something rather unfortunate. In his ever-so-slightly intoxicated state, Alkyoneus had arrayed his main battle line against the tiny garrison force of the Pontic capital. His rearguard now faced the Kappadokian hippeis and phalangitai of the Pontic field army.
Everything went quite wrong from there.
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Argyraspidai face unexpected opposition
With too short a line and too few mobile infantry to defend the flanks of his rearguard, Alkyoneus angrily ordered his Thessalian lancers to immobilize the enemy cavalry. With the Thessalians occupied, Alkyoneus would be unable to entrap the Pontic royal bodyguards...
In the southwest, the Makedonian main battle line was thrown into utter confusion. The pezhetairoi faced highly mobile bodyguard cavalry and a single unit of phalangitai, not the infantry-heavy army they had expected. The phalanx held its position against the small force of phalangitai as the Pontic family members charged towards its left flank...
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garrison phalangites distract the pezhetairoi
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A Pontic strategos and his bodyguard charge the left flank
Alkyoneus at last managed to rout the Pontic field army, through the personal intervention of his somatophylakes and liberal use of his Thessalians. Desperate to kill at least a few of the Pontic royals, the Makedonian king ordered his already exhausted Thessalians to assist the pezhetairoi and thureophoroi against the small but cavalry-heavy garrison force.
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Thessalians surround the Pontic horse
Ultimately, the Makedonians had won the battle - but quite accidentally. A little Aitolian wine had cost Alkyoneus Kappodokia Pontika, at least for another season. The Makedonian king, irritated by the failure of his well-laid plans, promised himself he would never touch the fruit of the vine again. After he tasted just a bit of that Euboian vintage, of course. And he had always wondered if the Campanian stuff was as good as the Romaioi traders claimed...
~~~~~
This entire episode was prompted by my own failure to properly position my forces. For some reason I completely mixed up the directions the armies were coming from, and I found that amusing enough to write a miniature AAR on. I suppose if anyone finds this remotely entertaining I could continue it.
Incidentally, you may have noticed I'm rather new here. I've been lurking around since .74 or so, but I only now decided to register. I would like to mention that EB is really quite dangerously addictive and ought to be a controlled substance...
Re: Fruit of the Vine - A Makedonian Tale
Very Good and amusing :2thumbsup:
Keep them coming if you can
I also made an edit to one of your pictures :P
https://img291.imageshack.us/img291/...vkp1uv0ed0.jpg
Re: Fruit of the Vine - A Makedonian Tale
I sure found it entertaining. If you wish to continue, it wouldn't be for naught.
I've done such a thing before, and I know it isn't too fun.
Re: Fruit of the Vine - A Makedonian Tale
Quote:
Originally Posted by deadmeat36
:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:
Do keep up the AAR. It's fun reading. Especially with an alcoholic on the Macedonian throne.
Re: Fruit of the Vine - A Makedonian Tale
Winter, 248 BC
Halikarnassos
A letter to Alkyoneus Gonatas, King of Makedonia
Dearest King and Father:
I have heard that you successfully captured Amaseia from the Pontics. I am certain your victory there was as glorious as your many other conquests. Your tactical skill surely rivals that of Alexandros himself!
I have been governing our recent acquisitions in the East from Halikarnassos. It is a fine city, and has served as an excellent capital for our holdings in Asia. Thus far matters of administration have run smoothly; we have started the construction of several new mines, as well as improved barracks that should reduce our reliance on reinforcements from the homeland.
Still, Father, I hope that you will return quickly. My talent for administration cannot compare to yours, and surely we would benefit from your brilliant generalship. The wretched Ptolmaioi have betrayed our alliance and now besiege Rhodos with a small force, and I fear that the local governor may not hold the city with the limited garrison forces and his own lack of experience. Also, I have heard that Side has been besieged by a substantial Seleukid force. At the moment we lack the soldiers to counterattack - so we must pray that the gods grant the garrison victory, should the Seleukids attempt to storm the town.
I am sure that my worries are all for naught. Our brave Makedonians can hold against those pretenders, the false "heirs" of Alexandros. They will soon know who his true heirs are.
As a quick addendum to this letter, I sent that Euboian wine you mentioned earlier along with the courier. I only hope that he does not decide to sample any...
Your son,
Ikaros
The Kingdom of Makedonia and its holdings, 248 BC
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Autumn, 247 BC
Rhodos
Euetes Echinaieus had little appreciation for battle. It was quite a nuisance, really; he had never seen the point of it. It took far too much time away from the important things in life, like trade, money, wine, more money, and of course, acquaintances of the opposite gender.
However, Euetes could not abide the irritation of being besieged any longer. It cut far too deeply into the profits from trade, and if there was anything Euetes despised, it was any interruption of trade. First the foolish heir to the Pharao had surrounded Rhodos with a pitifully small army; Euetes had exaggerated its size when he reported it to that administratively inept buffoon Ikaros in the hope that he would send a large force to destroy the army and spare Euetes the trouble. Instead, the prince had done nothing, allowing the siege to continue nearly another year. Then, not three months ago, a large contingent of Galatikoi mercenaries, in service of the Seleukids, fought off the Ptolmaic forces - and promptly besieged Rhodos themselves.
This force prompted Prince Ikaros to take action, at least - but he sent only a small force of peltastai and Cretan toxotai to break the siege. Euetes would have to actually fight in the upcoming battle, something which annoyed the man greatly.
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Euetes arrayed his forces in a rough approximation of the standard Makedonian battle line, with phalangitai in the center and his more mobile troops on the flanks. After a fairly long march (which only served to irritate Euetes further) the opposing armies' lines at last collided.
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Phalangitai hold their ground against Galatian spears
The battle raged on, and the Makedonian lines held steady - excepting the cowardly levy hoplitai on the left flank, who nearly broke. They might well have routed had Euetes failed to take action. Euetes, though entirely inexperienced as a strategos, had a sufficient understanding of Makedonian tactics to realize the value of flanking maneuvers; he ordered the reinforcement peltastai to attack the enemy flanks, and personally charged the rear of the Seleukid battle line.
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An unlucky Seleukid meets his sharp, pointy fate
The Galatians and thureophoroi broke, and Euetes gave chase, cutting down many of the routing Seleukids.
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Euetes, satisfied that this Seleukid annoyance was gone, returned to Rhodos, eagerly awaiting the opening of the new trade harbor next season...
Next: Will the Seleukids recapture Side? Will the Pharao's son and his starving army ever leave Rhodos? Has Alkyoneus, in fact, conquered Amaseia? Has he recovered from the embarrassment of deploying his forces backwards? Will he return to Halikarnassos? And, perhaps most importantly, did the courier steal all of his Euboian wine?
~~~~~
Thanks for the comments; I'm glad that someone finds my silly ramblings amusing.
Deadmeat: nice caption. I do like the random left-handed sword-wielding pezhetairoi in that picture.
Re: Fruit of the Vine - A Makedonian Tale
Quote:
Originally Posted by bdac
Deadmeat: nice caption. I do like the random left-handed sword-wielding pezhetairoi in that picture.
I find it funny but if it took away from your aar sorry :oops:
Re: Fruit of the Vine - A Makedonian Tale
i am rarely interested in AAR's but this one is very fun to read. it is straight forward[i think some story's are too adjective ridden] but it isn't a recap of the happenings of your little EB world. the title is nice and the little spurts of humor
"Has he recovered from the embarrassment of deploying his forces backwards? Will he return to Halikarnassos? And, perhaps most importantly, did the courier steal all of his Euboian wine?"
are really funny.
keep it up!:2thumbsup:
