If this site is real, it's hilarious. And if it's fake, it's still hilarious. As the tagline says, "The nagging stops when the bars slam shut!"
What's so great about getting married to someone in prison?
If you're anything like us, you're controlling. With Conjugal Harmony, we take out the guess work. You don't have to hire a private detective to know where your spouse is, who they're hanging out with, or ever wonder if you're being cheated on. By marrying a convict inside the prison system you can rest easy knowing that the state is looking out for you, and that you will be free of the nagging, shopping trips and extra-marital oversight so stifling to your relationship.
What if I decide later that I want to get married to a non-prisoner?
If you decide down the road that you want to get married to a non-prisoner, the first thing we would do is offer you a list of counselors in your area who might help you understand what you're giving up. If you still feel, after understanding the many benefits of having a wife in prison for life, that you want to marry a non-life-sentence-serving person, you will be free to do so. You may divorce your inmate-spouse, seek to have the marriage annulled, or just say you did one of those two things and keep your incarcerated loved one on the sly. We have no way of knowing what you choose, and your confidentiality is always assured with Conjugal Harmony, so there's no risk that we would interfere, or even cooperate with investigations.
Help, my "wife" is about to be released from prison!
Conjugal Harmony seeks only to connect law abiding citizens with those inmates who are serving sentences of life without the possibility of parole or longer. In rare cases, these convicts may earn a retrial based on new evidence which could potentially lead to early release. Though uncommon, this possibility does exist. It is for this very reason we strongly encourage you to secure prenuptial annulment and/or divorce papers, so that if your beloved spouse is released, as impossible as it may seem, you'll immediately be able to rescind your marriage in order to preserve your assets and pursue a new jailbird partner.
