Between a Rock and a Hard Place (an Averni Story)

Cocolitanos Oi Lugos trotted out to the front of the column and surveyed the landscape. His army had been retreating, no, his army had been “strategically withdrawing” for two days now. The summer sun was beginning to take its toll and he knew that he would have to pick a place to do battle soon or else he’d lose that advantage to the Sweboz commander.

There!!!! A large rock formation loomed tall over the mostly flat landscape. It stood 50 men abreast and just as many high. It would give him protection on his right flank but the Sweboz still had the numbers to engulf his whole force if they were so inclined. His scouts had reported the enemy host to number well over 2,000 including 400 of those thrice damned walking blacksmith shops they called nobles. That meant that he was outnumbered by nearly 2 to 1. Cocolitanos quickly tallied his forces in his head. He counted his own host of 25 noble cavalry, 100 mercenary light cavalry from near Vesontio, 100 Belgae spearmen, 80 of his own Germanic nobles who had decided to rebel against the Sweboz hegemony, 100 levy hooplotes or whatever they called themselves from Massilia, another 80 Massilians with better armour and shields. In addition they carried broadswords like Celts. The 80 short swordsmen from the Alps were lightly armored but they were brave warriors nonetheless, 400 Celtic spears would be placed in the front line, and 300 Celtic swordsmen would form the second line and throw javelins before they engaged in the melee. He also had 10 Germanic archers for what little good they would do.

Then there was the final and most fearsome part of his army. 50 Gaesatae from Gergovia. They towered over his other soldiers and fought completely naked aside from their boots, helmets, and large broadswords. In addition to their imposing figure they ingested drugs before battle to make them oblivious to pain. He would keep them back near himself and once the battle was started they would support whatever part of the line the Sweboz attacked hardest.

As captains drew his men into the desired formation at the foot of the boulder he spoke to the leader of the mercenary cavalry.

“I want you to take your soldiers and,…”

“We want more payment.” Cut in the mercenary captain.

“You were paid to fight and you better do it you unless,…”

“You are right. We were paid to fight, not to die. We’ve heard about the size of the Sweboz force and we expect to be well compensated for siding with you since it seems you’re going lose.”

“Scouts always exaggerate the numbers of the enemy. We will win and when we do you can have the armor of the Sweboz king as a reward. That should pay for you and your greedy friends for the rest of this little war.”

The mercenary’s eyes gleamed with delight. “Now what were you about to order, general?”

“Take your mercenaries and hide in the woods to the far left of our line. When our two lines engage you’ll be behind the Sweboz with plenty of open ground between. I’ll blow my horn to signal that you should charge them in the back and try to start a mass rout.”

“Aye, General” The Mercenary rode back to his soldiers and led them to the woods.

Cocolitanos returned to the main army while cursing mercenaries and every gold devouring coward who called himself a soldier. At least his captains knew what they were doing. The army had been set up exactly as he wanted it, spears in front with swords behind them and the Gaesatae and archers behind them near where he would place himself. The rock and Belgae spearmen protected the right flank while his own Germanic nobles and the broadsword wielding hooplotes guarded the left flank.

Cocolitanos and his bodyguard halted near the Gaesatae and began the wait for the enemy. They couldn’t be more then a few hours march away at this point. A bead of sweat formed under his heavily decorated helm and rolled down his cheek, disappearing into his beard. The constant campaigning in hostile territory had caused him to let his beard grow freely rather than adopting the more fashionable long mustache sported by his cousin and heir to be, Prasutagos. He had heard rumors floating around that Prasutagos had finally taken the Getic stronghold of Ak-Ink and would be marching on Germania as soon as next spring. Of course, rumors of that sort had been floating around for nearly two years but Prasutagos was still off fighting his own little war and becoming filthy rich in the process, while ‘Litanos was stuck fighting this never ending war for control of the Rhine river.

‘Litanos scanned the horizon once more and spotted dust being kicked up by the enemy army. They would see his army in a few minutes and begin to draw up their own battle plan. His own men were now starting to see the rising cloud of dust. A tense and nervous atmosphere had spread across his army and more then a few were looking back at him……

Why were they all looking at him??? What else did he have to do before the battle began? He had chosen a good place for the battle. He had arranged his army in the normal fashion of modern armies. He had given orders to his captains. He had even set up a surprise using the mercs. Wait,…. A SPEECH!!!! They expected a damn speech out of him. How could he forget such an obvious thing! Aneirin wouldn’t have forgotten. Then again, Aneirin died fighting the exact army he was now facing.

What was it that Brycham had said? Invoke warriors fallen, wealth, and women and your men will fight for you ‘till their last wind. Yes, the three w’s, that was it. It couldn’t hurt to talk about the favor of the Gods as well. That was always popular. ‘Litanos rode out in front of his army and cleared his throat.

To Be Continued….


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This is based off of events well into my EB Averni campaign.

232 BC
A brief overview of the situation. The Averni Confederation is in control of much of Gaul and all of Italia down to Rome. Prasatugos is the son of the former faction heir and has been campaigning against the Getai in the Balkans for three years now, becoming very wealthy in the process. After he conquers Ak-Ink he’ll march towards south east Germania and catch the Sweboz in a giant pincer. 9 years before the current battle the Sweboz invaded modern day Belgium which was controlled by the Averni. The Averni army, led by Aneirin Oi Lugos repelled the invaders and won a string of victories against the Sweboz until he was defeated and killed by the main Sweboz force which ‘Litanos is now about to face. The Sweboz reestablished a stalemate along the Rhine river. A second force was assembled and a general was hastily chosen. Cocolitanos was young and inexperienced but he was the only commander other than the aging faction leader, Brycham, with any military talent. He won several small victories and crossed the Rhine with the intent of besieging Gawjam-Habukoz until scouts informed him of the advance of the main Sweboz army. He ordered a strategic withdrawal to a better defensive position which is where this story begins.

I know that I’m not a great writer so feel free to criticize as much as you want. I plan to rewrite this part based on your comments and then work on writing the speech and at least part of the battle in the near future.

sounds like a good idea. make sure to include lots of drinking and wenches:laugh4:

I read your first entry, and though I don't have any literary criticism, I want to say that I found this very entertaining so far, you have set up a great story and I can't wait to hear your account of the battle! :2thumbsup:

Prasutagos eyed up his newest recruits. They were another group of Thracian spearmen. They didn’t have armor and were equipped with only a shield, javelins, and a short spear, but they were still well suited to the lighter style of combat he had encountered in the Balkans. Even better, these new recruits seemed to be more able bodied than the majority of their Thracian kinfolk. Only one thing could make him happier about his new recruits.

“Where do you men hail from?” greeted Prasutagos in his usual Gaelic.
“Que?” responded several of the Thracians.

‘sigh’, O well, he would just have Ivomagos translate for him as usual. Ivomagos repeated his question in the local dialect of Thracian.
“They say that they’re from east of Sarmisaguza.”

“Thank you for translating once again, Ivo. I really should learn the common dialects of these parts shouldn’t I. Please go find a captain to assign them to.”

“Don’t worry too much about it Prasuta. If you ever did learn them then I’d be out of a job, so take your time. Besides, a great leader such as yourself probably has more important things on his mind like things such as whether you think babies taste better boiled or roasted.” The last part Ivo said loudly and clearly in Thracian so all nearby could hear. Ivo then lead the new recruits away to find a captain. Many of them were looking oddly at Prasutagos.

Prasutagos chuckled softly. He knew that Ivo’s habit of switching languages mid sentence was just his idea of humor. While whatever he had said was probably in bad taste it was only in jest. If this was the price he had to pay for the best translator east of the Alps than he could live with it.

Hmmm, the sun is starting to set in the west. It might be time to set up camp for the evening….

To be continued….
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Okay, I didn’t get much of a response in the mead hall so I’m going to put the start of my story into my first post here and do any more updates in this thread. I tried writing the battle with the Sweboz but I did a rather dry job of it so I’ll have to try revising it before I consider it fit to post. I was originally planning on only going through the battle and its aftermath but now I think I’m going to do a dual story between Cocolitanos and Prasutagos, ending in a conclusion to the war with the Sweboz. I’m hoping that when I do finally get some battles written they will provide some interesting contrasts in the style of battles these two are fighting. I know that the Prasu piece is kind of short but I’m also trying to write an English essay so I’ll lengthen it over the weekend.

Quick question. How do you spell that city I was trying to spell? Sarmiguza or whatever. It's the city directly south east of Ak-Ink.

Encouragement and Criticism are both very much welcomed.

If a mod could change the thread title to 'Between A Rock and A Hard Place(an Averni story) ' I would appreciate it.

"There is nothing wrong with your style woad&fangs. In fact, I am more for the story-based AAR's as they are better in explaining and depicting storylines rather than looking at pretty pictures all the time (though they do help greatly). Keep going."

“Men, umm, today we have a chance to avenge the death of Aneirin and the brave Celts that followed him.” A small muttering of approval could be heard and ‘Litanos began to speak with a new found confidence, “The host that the enemy has assembled is large in number but small in spirit. The God’s have favored us with the gifts of keen minds, strong arms, and courageous hearts. The Sweboz are cowards. You have all seen before how they run at first contact with our spear points. You have all seen how their nobles cower inside their shells of iron. They adorn themselves in valuable metals as if they were on a throne instead of a battlefield.” He knew that the Sweboz had begun their advance and decided to rap his speech up, “The man who slays their King will be given his throne when this war is over. Now, prepare yourselves for a fight.”

With that he rode back behind his line. Not a great speech and it had a rather abrupt ending but his men had all fought in battle before and knew what was expected of them. The Sweboz were now 300 paces from his own line. The enemy army began to angle to towards the rock. Surely they wouldn’t try to break through there? But it seemed like that was their plan. They definitely weren’t as numerous as his scouts had reported but even with their move to the right their army still extended beyond his own left flank. From the second line of the enemy army a horn was sounded and they broke into a slow jog. A movement from the woods on Litanos’ far right caught his eye. The mercenary cavalry had mistaken the horn for his own! Damn, damn, damn, the two lines hadn’t even met yet. The far left of the enemy line broke off and engaged the mercenaries. At least he wasn’t as badly flanked on his left now.

The two lines were now only paces apart.
“Swordsmen, archers, ready your missiles,”
The lines would clash at any second.
“Fire!!”
Dozens of Sweboz fell and their advance stopped.
“Fire!!!”
More Sweboz fell with javelins protruding out of their chests but the lines had now engaged. The Sweboz and Averni lines shoved against each other but neither would break. The dull thwack of shields colliding and the metallic clanging of swords unsheathing echoed all around him.
“Swordsmen, Charge!”
With the additional force of the swordsmen, the Sweboz line began to bend but their nobles quickly joined the fray and the lines returned to a stalemate. Litanos scanned the entire line. The right was holding against overwhelming odds thanks to the great rock. The very center held by the levy hooplotes and their longer spears were proving decisive. As long as the Celtic spearmen on either side of them held, the hooplotes would win. The rest of the center was in a stalemate. Litanos looked to the left side of his line and swore loudly. The superior numbers of the Sweboz had allowed them to flank his Massilians and Germanic nobles.
“Cavalry, Charge!!” He bellowed over the din of the battle.

He thundered towards the left flank and lowered his spear at a skinny Sweboz soldier. The soldier turned to face the thundering charge, eyes wide in horror. He tried to raise his shield but was too slow to prevent Litanos’ spear from puncturing his neck. All around Litanos his bodyguard was likewise impaling the enemy spearmen. Surrounded by cavalry and infantry, the Sweboz were packed to densely to put up much of a fight. A few moments later and the far left flank contained only the bright green banners of the Averni. Litanos allowed himself a brief smile at the successful charge before he turned his eyes once more to the battle being waged to his right.

To be continued...
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I think my next update or two will be about Litanos until I finish the battle. Then I'll focus on Prasutagos for a while.

nice story, hope litanoas wins against 'zee germans'
keep it up man

The left flank was slowing folding inwards on the Sweboz. As each section of Sweboz found themselves surrounded they fled which in turn freed more Averni warriors to flank the next section of soldiers. As long as the center and right held then he would prove the victor. Litanos and his guards galloped down the line, shouting encouragements as they went. When he reached the far right he was presented with a startling scene. The Belgae had long since fled and now only the Gaesatae were holding off the Sweboz who were close to a dozen ranks deep. Yet not only were the Gaesatae holding, they were slowly advancing and pushing the Sweboz back. “Hmmm, that might not be such a good thing” thought Litanos. If they advance to far then the enemy can also flank us. Well, reasoning with drugged up men with long swords would be rather pointless so he’d have to find another way of fixing the right. Luckily, the nearby unit of Alpine short swordsmen had yet to engage the enemy line.

“You all, get over here and don’t retreat or advance no matter what.”

With the right now firmly protected Litanos turned his attention to the rest of the battlefield. With body guards in tow, He returned to the left where the Averni advance had ground to a halt. Litanos immediately spotted the cause of this obstruction. A handful of Sweboz nobles were still holding their ground despite being surrounded on three sides.

He lowered his spear point and ordered his horse forwards to strike the nobles from behind. Despite knocking down several of them they still held their ground. Litanos had to give them his respect. Contrary to his comments about their cowardice, the nobles were in fact exceedingly brave. He thrust his spear at the nearest noble but it merely glanced off of his armor. The noble thrust back with his own spear and Litanos blocked with his shield. Litanos raised his spear once again but before he could attack he felt himself being thrown backwards into the air and landing hard on his back with a very inelegant 'Oomph’.

Litanos quickly leapt to his feet to rejoin the fray. He was sore from the fall but he pushed the pain out of his mind with one thought. That son of a bitch had just stabbed his best horse. He drew his sword and advanced on the noble. The noble drew his own sword, having broken his spear while killing the horse. Litanos aimed a cutting blow at the noble’s hip and as the noble lowered his shield to defend, Litanos bashed him in the face with his shield. He crumpled to the ground and before he could regain his feet again he died from a sword through the heart.

The other nobles began to flee. Litanos then noticed how the noble he had slain was more ornately decorated then the others. He was probably a close relative of the king but he was too young to be the king himself. Whoever he was, he was obviously the commander of this section of the line. His death had begun a mass rout of the nearby Sweboz levies.

Litanos paused to catch his breath. The battle was all but over. Only a hundred or so Sweboz nobles were still fighting near the great rock. Litanos wondered where his mercenary cavalry had gone. He hadn’t seen them since the accidental charge and he now assumed they had run off when they realized their blunder. At least now he wouldn’t have to pay those greedy cowards. A great cheer arose from near the great rock. Even heavily outnumbered, it now appeared that he had come out victorious. A head which he assumed had previously belonged to the Sweboz king was now being paraded about on the top of a spear point by one of Gaesatae. All that remained now was to assign the post battle tasks such as chasing routers and recovering the wounded. Litanos slowly began strolling over to the mass of Averni gathered at the base of the great rock.

Under his breath he muttered “The little buggers will probably be wanting some sort of speech out of me.”

To be Continued….
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I guess it only took one long post to write the battle. The next scene will probably be a Prasutagos one but I still might change my mind.

If someone could give me a list of about 5 male and 5 female Celtic names it would be very much appreciated. I could maybe use a few Getai and Sweboz names too.

And as usual comments and criticism are greatly appreciated.

230 views so far

Nice one I like it but you should post a map of the world ans ome pics would bee nice.

haha this dude really doesnt want to give a speech. good description of the battle, hope more's to come!

P.S-Celtic Names- These are a few I know, not sure if they'll be of any help.
Male-Esca, Litivak, Crigonat and Wulfilla.
Female- erm...Marah...Boudica? :dizzy2:

thats all man, hope it helps.

Ower- This story is only loosely following my real Averni campaign. However, I might be able to produce a screenshot of Europe as it roughly appears at this point in the story.

LongLostCaesar- Thanks for the names.

Sorry for the delay. I've been doing other stuff lately and the creative juices haven't been flowing. Once I figure out what to do with one character(or if I should include her at all) the next scene should come pretty quickly.

“Ei, Prasuta, I’ve got the tally of troops you asked for.”
As Ivo entered the tent a cool breeze ruffled the edges of a map at Prasutagos’ feet.

“Ivo, what does this say” he said pointing at some symbols written next to a town named Buriguza.

“It’s in Attic like a lot of my writing. It means ‘Here be Wine and Wenches’.”
Ivo sat down on the ground and Prasutagos followed suit.

Prasutagos glanced at the map again, “I’ve noticed that you’ve planned our march to go right through there.”

“Well the shortest route to Ak-Ink goes right through there.”

“But it looks like it will be faster to cross the river here” Prasuta said, pointing at another town.

“Yes, but you don’t seem to notice my note about that town.”

“I just said that I can’t read Attic.”

“That’s part’s actually in Getic”

“Well what does it say?”

“Here be a beautiful young maiden and the colossal father of said maiden who wants Ivo’s head impaled on a pike.”

Laughter from the corner the tent interrupted them. From the shadows a woman, a few years younger then Prasutagos, stood up and walked over to the map. She seemed to rise from the earth itself. Long chestnut hair, large brown eyes like that of a deer, and olive skin tanned even darker by the march from Kallatis.

“So what you are saying Ivo, is that even in the middle of an army you are still terrified by one man?” She said in the silky voice that Prasutagos adored so much.

“He’s a very big man.”

“And this is a big army.”

Prasutagos interrupted the banter before it had a chance to escalate, “Ivo was about to tell me exactly how big.”

The woman softly sat down on the ground with the two men.

“Yes, I was about to tell Prasuta that valuable knowledge before you interrupted us. Let me see… Prasuta, you have 400 Thracians, 150 Dacian falxmen, 150 Dacian pike men, 50 Scythian mounted archers, 50 assorted veterans of your campaign, and our two body guards total 47 men. So we have about 750 men in total. Esca is sending us 400 Illyrians from Segestica and I believe that we can expect to recruit about 200 Dacians between here and Ak-Ink which means that we will still be outnumbered by a bit but it shouldn’t be by too much.”

The woman spoke once again “We’ll be passing near to Singdidinum which is inhabited by Celts so I think we can find quite a few who are willing to fight for us. Silly Ivo. Forgetting our local base of power is such a childish mistake.” She chided, “Also,” she slid a piece of papyrus marked with Greek letters over to him, “In case you have forgotten, I can read Attic and I must say that you’re poetry is simply rotten. If you’re going to waste something so valuable then please use someone else’s.” She rose from her spot on the ground and leaned over to talk to Prasutagos. “I’m going to visit Wulfwilla. I’ve heard that he’s acquired some very good wine but I believe that a Greek should be the judge of that.” She ruffled Prasutagos’ hair and left the tent.

Prasutagos smiled at Ivo, “A Greek with a Celtic name who speaks nearly as many languages as you. The people of Kallatis never cease to amaze me.”

“You mean to say that Marah never ceases to amaze you, you love struck fool.”

“I’m not love struck,…”

“Then you’re lust struck. It doesn’t matter much to me but if it’s not one of those two than why is she marching with us instead of back at her home in Kallatis.”

“I needed someone more fluent in Greek than you and she volunteered.”

“Yes, because Greek is so common away from the coast.” sarcastically replied Ivo, “I’m going to go sample Wufwilla’s wine before that Greek bitch gulps it all down.” He said while replacing his insult with its Attic equivalent so Prasutagos couldn’t tell what was said. Ivo left the tent reciting some of his own poetry.

Even without knowing the meaning of what was being said, Prasutagos could tell that his poetry sounded terrible.

To be continued….
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To those of you who are going “Gag, why is there a love story in here” don’t worry. I plan on keeping the Battles to Kisses ratio firmly in favor of battles. She’s there more to progress the characters of Ivo and Prasutagos then anything else. Cocolitanos’ side of the story will also feature at least one and probably two new characters when we return to him. However, those characters will both be guys.

Thanks again for the names, Long Lost Caesar. Marah just sounds like the right name for her. It sounds kind of earthy to me which is the visual that I’m looking for. Wulfwilla is just mentioned in passing and if his role is expanded past that it will be by unplanned coincidence.

300 views

nice story so far. A map would help to clarify the situation though.

Ivomagos leaned his head back to rest on the trunk of a gnarled old tree. He adjusted his cloak to form a cushion between his head and the trunk. Laughter brought his attention back to the fire 30 meters ahead of him. Marah lay on her side next to a small fire, a flask of wine resting in the crook of her arm. Across from her a large Celt with a shaved head and full beard was prodding the fire with a branch. He must be the one called Wulfwilla.

Wulfwilla muttered something and proceeded to stagger into the nearest tent. A few moments passed and Marah’s only movement was to bring herself up into a sitting position with legs crossed.

Ivo tilted his head backed and gazed up into the cloudless starry sky. He could hear Marah start to hum but he continued to gaze up at the stars. Tonight was too beautiful to waste spying on her. If she wanted to betray Prasuta then she could go right ahead. He was going to enjoy beauty of a good summer night. The warm air, clear sky, hushed chirping of crickets, all produced a calming effect on him.

Marah now progressed from humming to singing an Attic ballad. Ivo tried translating the lyrics but soon stopped in favor of appreciating the melody. He closed his eyes and let her voice fill his head. He had to admit, her voice was rather calming when he wasn’t the object of discussion. He focused his attention once again to the song and let it become louder and louder in his head until it felt like she was standing next to him. The song drew to a close but he kept his eyes closed to appreciate the nature all around him. The chirp of the crickets, the light brushing of cool breeze against skin, the creaking of a large low hanging tree branch. Ivo drew in a deep and exhaled. He opened his eyes-…

A pair of large brown eyes peered down at him, “Hello”.

Ivo blinked several times in surprise. “Umm, hello to you too.”

“If you’re going to spy on me then you should at least have your eyes open. You may find that, that…” She rocked gently on the branch trying to remember what she was going to say, “That, ooom,” Marah began to slide out of the tree branch. ‘wumph’ She fell off of the branch and directly onto Ivo. They both collapsed onto the ground. “I’m very drunk.” She teetered to her feet and took a few steps before she had to place a hand on the tree for support, “Could you help me?” she whispered pathetically. She wrapped her arms around Ivo’s shoulders and he led her back to Prasuta’s tent.

As he laid her down in the corner Prasuta looked up from the map he was studying. “It seems you don’t hate her quite as much as you like to say.” He remarked.

“You forget that I’m a gentleman.” Ivo replied. He turned to exit the tent but stopped just inside of the exit. “And I still don’t trust her.” Ivo left to return to his own tent.

Prasuta rolled up the scattered maps and promptly fell asleep.

To be continued....
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Sorry that the update took so long. I've had other stuff going on and I wanted to make sure that I did a really good job with this scene. I still don't think that it is as good as I want it to be but I can't take forever on it.

Sorry, but I still don't have a map. I seem to have lost my flashdrive so I can't transfer the game map from my game computer on to the computer I'm using to write this. If I can't find my flashdrive by next week then I'll make my own map since both Litanos and Prasutagos will be on the move in the next few scenes.

Hehe, the next scene will feature some nice Rhompaia vs. Rhompaia action. That's all I'm going to say about that for now.

After the next scene I'll return to Litanos and advance his plotline a bit.

Spring break starts for me on Friday so hopefully I'll get a fair amount of writing in.

Comments, Criticism, and Questions are appreciated:bow:

400 views so far

i dont know... men love your story, ive been visiting your post 3x just to know what happened to 'littanos, if you havent shown me the link well...
you know im not a critic 'cuz, hell how can, i never even write a story not even a short-tiny-little-bit one story, but i know some of us had some stories in our minds when we are playing TW games, specially when were excited about some characters, like when my hier to throne i have sent to relieved my king(all the way straight from england to egypt..10~20turns?.. which had died by the time my hier arrived and lost jerusalem to timurends... ), i decided to stop the timurends on a bridge near egpyt with 2 full stacks of armies, well cutting it short, i lost the battle worst my idiotic hier charge the timurends head-on on the bridge with there elephants rampaging!! i say wtf? sob! well he died, honorably.... after the battle, i wanted to load my games and start again and then... some stories filled my brains and just laugh about it, really wanted to do some AAR for that one but hell i dont know how to write, plus im no english boy im from philippines and my english is as broken as my pen anyway

so to you... im happy that at least you can tell your stories and your good at it, one thing that i love: the way you express the emotions of your character in a funny way-The mercenary’s eyes gleamed with delight. “Now what were you about to order, general?” ha ha ha... just hope there are more of those lines... and if i may please please dont put of the MERCS i beginning to imagine im them he he he he, i know ... but hey i just fell in love with that line.... hey how about another battle with the mercs and then maybe in the end of all this the mercs well change heart and follow 'littanos wirh devotions.. nice hu?


so general where do you want us to be??? now that we have won the battle

An interesting idea Woad :smash: