The Ant and the Grasshopper (Canadian Style)

The Ant & the Grasshopper......


CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building hishouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's afool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, theant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, sohe dies out in the cold.

THE END


THE CANADIAN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building hishouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's afool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, theant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know whythe ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others lessfortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a tableladen with food.

Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poorgrasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front ofthe ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival specialfrom Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We ShallOvercome."

Jack Layton rants in an interview with Mike Duffy that the ant has gottenrich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike onthe ant to make him pay his "fair share".

In response to polls, the Conservative Government drafts the Economic Equityand Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of thesummer.

The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hiregrasshoppers as helpers.

Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposedretroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The ant moves to the US and starts a successful agribiz company.

The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of theant's food, though spring is still months away, while the government househe is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles aroundhim because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Bob Rae is appointed to head acommission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blamesit on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despairarising from social inequity.

The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praisedby the government for enriching Canada 's multicultural diversity, whopromptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community.

THE END

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Goofball

drafts the Economic Equityand Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

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If you're referring to the GST reduction coming into effect on January 1st, I thought that was a pretty smooth move by the government, personally. Let everyone get their Christmas Day and Boxing Day shopping done, reap a windfall, and then cut the tax to get more of the voters.

That's brilliant, with no sarcasm whatsoever.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Evil_Maniac From Mars

If you're referring to the GST reduction coming into effect on January 1st, I thought that was a pretty smooth move by the government, personally. Let everyone get their Christmas Day and Boxing Day shopping done, reap a windfall, and then cut the tax to get more of the voters.

That's brilliant, with no sarcasm whatsoever.

---

That's not what it was referring to.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Goofball

That's not what it was referring to.

---

I was talking about the "beginning of summer" part, not the actual bill.

India version:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Quote:

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The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.


Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.


NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.


The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.
Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.


Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.


The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).


Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.


CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.


Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh makes ' Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes,it's home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it 'A Triumph of Justice'.
Lalu calls it ' Socialistic Justice '.
CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden '
Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later...
The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley .

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India...

As a result of loosing a lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, India is still a developing country

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used with permission from Deobrat Singh

The Story of the Grasshopper and the Octopus:

During the summer, the grasshopper stockpiles lots and lots of nuts. Meanwhile, the Octopus is lazy and mooches off his girlfriend. Then winter comes and the grasshopper dies and the Octopus comes and takes all the acorns and eats them. And gets a car too.

Courtesy of the wonderful mind of Futurama(may not be word for word)

Octosquid propoganda!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kamikhaan

The Story of the Grasshopper and the Octopus:

During the summer, the grasshopper stockpiles lots and lots of nuts. Meanwhile, the Octopus is lazy and mooches off his girlfriend. Then winter comes and the grasshopper dies and the Octopus comes and takes all the acorns and eats them. And gets a car too.

Courtesy of the wonderful mind of Futurama(may not be word for word)

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"Do you see where im getting to Lela? Your so dumb sometimes" :laugh4:

And damn those pothead spiders, eating all the other bugs while they have the munchies!

Brilliant! I'd rep you if I could. :2thumbsup:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kamikhaan

The Story of the Grasshopper and the Octopus:

During the summer, the grasshopper stockpiles lots and lots of nuts. Meanwhile, the Octopus is lazy and mooches off his girlfriend. Then winter comes and the grasshopper dies and the Octopus comes and takes all the acorns and eats them. And gets a car too.

Courtesy of the wonderful mind of Futurama(may not be word for word)

---

I was thinking of that too at the beginning.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Quote:

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THE CANADIAN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building hishouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's afool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, theant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know whythe ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others lessfortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a tableladen with food.

Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poorgrasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front ofthe ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival specialfrom Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We ShallOvercome."

Jack Layton rants in an interview with Mike Duffy that the ant has gottenrich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike onthe ant to make him pay his "fair share".

In response to polls, the Conservative Government drafts the Economic Equityand Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of thesummer.

The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hiregrasshoppers as helpers.

Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposedretroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The ant moves to the US and starts a successful agribiz company.

The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of theant's food, though spring is still months away, while the government househe is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles aroundhim because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Bob Rae is appointed to head acommission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blamesit on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despairarising from social inequity.

The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praisedby the government for enriching Canada 's multicultural diversity, whopromptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community.

THE END

---

That gave me a good laugh and depressed me a bit too at the same time.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Goofball

The Ant & the Grasshopper......

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building hishouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's afool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, theant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, sohe dies out in the cold.

THE END


THE CANADIAN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building hishouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's afool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, theant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know whythe ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others lessfortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a tableladen with food.

Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poorgrasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front ofthe ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival specialfrom Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We ShallOvercome."

Jack Layton rants in an interview with Mike Duffy that the ant has gottenrich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike onthe ant to make him pay his "fair share".

In response to polls, the Conservative Government drafts the Economic Equityand Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of thesummer.

The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hiregrasshoppers as helpers.

Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposedretroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The ant moves to the US and starts a successful agribiz company.

The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of theant's food, though spring is still months away, while the government househe is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles aroundhim because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Bob Rae is appointed to head acommission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blamesit on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despairarising from social inequity.

The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praisedby the government for enriching Canada 's multicultural diversity, whopromptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community.

THE END

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Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

No ants or grasshoppers were harmed in the making of this story.

Honestly I find the ant/grasshopper rather disgusting for certain parts of India. Reminds me perhaps a little too much of the crippled children starving by the road and begging for money.