:jawdrop:Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit
Simply appalling.
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:jawdrop:Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit
Simply appalling.
Wow, this is quite a story.Quote:
It was near dusk at the end of a lazy day in Guatemala and Chris Waggoner was taking a relaxing swim in the national park lake where the locals gather.
“I was doing the backstroke, looking up at the trees and the birds. I remember seeing white egrets and hearing the howler monkeys in the trees,” Waggoner recalled. “I remember thinking, this is paradise. It doesn’t get any better than this.”
That was, literally, an instant before a crocodile’s powerful jaws clamped down on his head and pulled him forcefully under water.
Also, more strange college courses:
9. Joy of Garbage
Santa Clara University
7. Zombies in Popular Media
Columbia College, Chicago
6. The Science of Harry Potter
Frostburg State University
CR
Ooo, this is to good:
Need anything? Why not head on down to the supermarket?
I lol'd in real life at that one.
CR
Those crazy kids of the British Aisles. Food for thought regarding tattoos: at least checkout your tattoo if you decide not to bag it all together.Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit
Greg, your puns are getting stale.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregoshi
Yeah, I know. That last HOF award must have spoiled me. Aisle try harder next time. :inquisitive: I think I liked the "British" aisles pun better.Quote:
Originally Posted by CountArach
:laugh4:Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregoshi
I don't see the problem. Are you saying this is false advertising or something- do they not have the best fries?Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemur
CR
;p
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...into-home.htmlQuote:
"My initial thought when I was half awake was: it's a lunatic ninja coming through the window," Beat Ettlin told the AAP news agency. "It seems about as likely as a kangaroo breaking in."
Mr Ettlin and his family were awoken early Sunday morning by their pet dog barking in the garden.
A kangaroo then crashed through a three metre high (nine foot high) window into the master bedroom and onto the bed holding Ettlin, his partner Verity Beman and their nine-year-old daughter Beatrix.
The family ducked under the blankets as the animal jumped on top of them before heading out the door.
Ettlin said when he heard his 10-year-old son Leighton screaming "There's a roo in my room" he ran in and wrestled the two metre tall kangaroo into a headlock and dragged it down the hall and out the front door.
The chef, originally from the Swiss city of Stans, was left wearing just his shredded underpants and with scratch marks on his leg and buttocks.
He described himself as "lucky". His partner described him as "a hero", saying she didn't know many men who would take on a kangaroo.
The kangaroo vanished into a nearby reserve and the family reported the intrusion to police and wildlife authorities.
They should have got Rolf to come around and tie it down for them...:laugh4:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D-LmRNdQiQ
:beam:
He should have been wearing Underoos.Quote:
Originally Posted by InsaneApache
Wal-Mart Customer Finds Human Teeth in New Wallet
Police say the man found 10 human teeth Saturday when he unzipped a compartment in the wallet. One tooth had a filling.
The customer turned the wallet and the teeth over to employees at the Falmouth, MA store but left without giving his name.
Police investigating the incident told The Cape Cod Times that the teeth belong to an adult, but since there was no blood or gum tissue on the teeth, they would be unable to perform DNA tests.
A Wal-Mart spokeswoman said the company believes it was an "isolated incident."
Customer quoted - "Man, this bites."
All he wanted was some gum.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexander the Pretty Good
Yeah, I think British faggots are smoking hot too. :2thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by InsaneApache
What I really love is that your fags always come with a hard package. Handy for a good grip, like when I pull it out for a quicky while driving. It's great, especially since I myself am used to carrying around a soft package that immediately shrivels when it contacts something wet. Always a disappointment when I want to offer my girlfriend something to puff on and I find that it's gone all soft and wrinkly.
Needless to say, my girlfriend was enthralled when she hopped over to Britain for the weekend and discovered all those hard, sturdy British packages, though she was a bit disappointed that in the end only twenty faggots came in her box.
IA's post is two weeks old. Yet Louis can't resist replying, simply to indulge his immature fondness of obscene wordplays. :shame:
Sadly Louis, you grasped the wrong end of the stick.
Across the Channel, a fag is a slang word for a cigarette as you imply. (At least, it is for the working classes - to those of public school education, a fag is a small boy used for errands or services such as acting as a toast rack for the prefects).
A faggot however, is a kind of meatball in thick gravy, exactly the kind of culinary delight that would have a Frenchman struck dumb with horror. This was the meaning contrasted with the American interpretation. Coincidentally, it also means a bundle of twigs, traditionally used en masse to set French maidens on the path to canonisation.
This complicated multiple meaning is why Napoleon wanted so badly to impose an elegant language on the islands to the north. :wink:
So BG, is that an unofficial warning to Louis to watch his language? :laugh4:
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...cards_lead.jpg
You may think that. I couldn't possibly comment.
:beam:
Dontcha just love the nuances of the English lauguage... at least he didn't declare that he refills jelly donuts.:laugh4:
"We are NOT amused."Quote:
Originally Posted by Banquo's Ghost
Ah, this explains all those painful silences whenever I think I just told a cracker of a joke in English. ~:mecry:Quote:
Originally Posted by Banquo's Ghost
(Hot English girl: "That was funny, Louis....Yeah, I got it.....No! No! You told it correctly....Listen, don't worry about it....But listen..I..erm...I am going to sit over there for a minute, okay?....What? One more joke? Erm...yeah...erm..I...I'd love to but I've really got to be moving on now...")
Oh well, my power is yet increasing. New words are learned every day, new expressions mastered too. One day, in an ultimate act of revenge for their brutalizing the world by imposing their crude language on it, I shall beat the Anglos at their own language. :knight:
-~-~-~-~-~-~+<o0O0o>+~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
For a fun fact, I once read a study that compared the language of Shakespeare with Molière. For our foreign readers, Molière was a 17th century French playwright, give or take a few decades a contemporary of Shakespeare. A brilliantly witty writer with a masterly command of language, the French still refer poetically to French as 'the language of Molière'.
Shakespeare, as some of you might know, was a 16th century English playwright of some reknown. So likewise, English is often refered to as 'la langue de Shakespeare', German as 'la langue de Goethe'.
Their languages were compared in a study. Shockingly, it turned out that Shakespeare used well over twice as many different words as Molière. All those influences on English left their mark, making it lexically an incredibly rich language.
It confirmed the ancient fear: English is far more intricate than French. Consequently, English is simply too complicated and refined for the bland French mind and
It showed that English is full of needless pomposity, superflous words, lack of restrainment. As with food or clothing, the insight that less is more, that élégance is but the perfection of the art of restrained good taste, is lost on the English. :no:
Word.Quote:
Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat
Pluto Is a Planet Again. In Illinois. On Fridays.
It took about three minutes for members of the Illinois state senate to make the unanimous vote: "that March 13, 2009, be declared 'Pluto Day' in the State of Illinois in honor of the date its discovery was announced in 1930."
Quietly adopted on February 26, the state resolution is meant to honor Pluto discoverer Clyde Tombaugh, who was born and raised in the farming village of Streator.
"This is one of those things that the village is very proud of," said Illinois State Senator Gary Dahl, who sponsored the resolution.
"I don't think we are changing the status of the planet. We're simply asking that March 13 be declared Pluto Day and that, for the day, Pluto is a planet."
I thought he was a dog.
Looks like nationalist-ethnic drama of the upcoming farce that is Eurovision 2009 is already in full swing: Georgia drops out of Eurovision over Putin song. :drama2:
Quote:
TBILISI (AFP) – Georgia said on Wednesday it was pulling out of the Eurovision Song Contest in Moscow after contest organisers rejected a Georgian entry that poked fun at Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin.
(...)
The song titled "We don't wanna put in," performed by the group Stephane and 3G with its play on the prime minister's surname, was rejected by Eurovision organisers on Tuesday for the May 14-16 event, which Russia is hosting.
Putin on the Ritz is my personal favourite.Quote:
Originally Posted by Conqueror
As cookin' with George Clooney's sweat, that's the most fu-lishous idea I've ever heard. It's probably served on a PITA (think acronym).
http://www.flsenate.gov/images/photo...plain/s039.jpg
Florida state senator Larcenia Bullard (D-Miami) got a bit confused about what animal husbandry means:
Ah, Florida.Quote:
Rich's legislation would target only those who derived or helped others derive ''sexual gratification'' from an animal, specifying that conventional dog-judging contests and animal-husbandry practices are permissible.
That last provision tripped up Miami Democratic Sen. Larcenia Bullard.
''People are taking these animals as their husbands? What's husbandry?'' she asked. Some senators stifled their laughter as Sen. Charlie Dean, an Inverness Republican, explained that husbandry is raising and caring for animals. Bullard didn't get it.
''So that maybe was the reason the lady was so upset about that monkey?'' Bullard asked, referring to a Connecticut case where a woman's suburban chimpanzee went mad and was shot.
CR
Miami isn't Florida.
Miami is the Caribbean concentrated on land.
So, what animal are you married to Marshal? :laugh4: