Vanilla cereal, in the form of:
Cheerios
Calcium carbonate, cobalamin, colecalciferol, corn starch, folic acid, hydrochloride, iron, mixed tocopherols, niacinamide, pyridoxine palmitate, salt, sodium ascorbate, sugar, thiamin mononitrate, tripotassium phosphate, whole grain oats, zinc, in no particular order. You are milled, cleaned, dried, mixed, cooked, dried again, cooked again, and eventually at some point you find your way into a plastic bag and a cardboard box labeled “Cheerios.”
::)::
You’ve always been afraid of death. Please don’t kill me, you whisper prayerfully to the night, but you know it ignores you. Sometimes a strange longing takes you, and for a moment you believe you’re about to meet your end. “Aquí está,” you say out loud. “Los asesinos en cereales me llevan.”
One day, as the rising sun peeks through your huddled cardboard covers, you have an epiphany, or at least a thought. “Soy le defensore de les despoetices,” you proclaim convincingly. “Y nadie puede silenciarme. ¡Adelante, mi arma es mi voz!” You emerge from your dusty fortress into the dawnlit lands and set out ayonder with tongue in hand. You may be a little bland, but you certainly have an appetite.
You win when all threats to cereal have been eaten.