News of the Weird

An egg Ad is banned for "unacceptable advice"

I don't know about you, but I am eggs-tremely dissapointed they wouldn't allow this.

The yokes on you. :clown:

The BACC got the better ovum, leaving just the shell of a campaign.

Locked...

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Originally Posted by Andres

Locked...

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A padlock? He should have used a combination lock if he was after safe sex. :eyebrows:

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Originally Posted by Gregoshi

A padlock? He should have used a combination lock if he was after safe sex. :eyebrows:

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:laugh4:

:idea2: Maybe he got confused...

Eh, on second thought, nevermind.

Hi, I'm 4real

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Originally Posted by FactionHeir

Hi, I'm 4real

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Pat and Sheena's stupidity is 4real. Imagine the poor kid going through life try to convince everyone that his first name is "4real" (read that both ways). Sure it is...now, seriously, what is your real first name? :wall:

This reminds of an incident that occured to my mate and I when we were both about 15 years old. We got stopped by the rozzers, as teenagers often were in the 70s.

They asked me for my name, address and the name of my parents, which I gave. (you didn't argue with the filth in those days :laugh4: ).

Then they asked my mate. Thing is, his mum was German. She'd married his dad when he was on posting in the BAOTR.

"Name". Said the copper.

"Mick", he replied.

"Mothers name"....

"Ingamar"

"What?"

"Ingamar"

"You tryin' to be funny son?"

"Nope"

"My mums called Ingamar".

"Right you two, bugger off and don't let me see you 'round here again".

Worked a treat. He used to pretend he was a German from time to time. Oh the fun we had chatting up the girls! :laugh4:

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Satan and Adolf Hitler were proposed names that have been declined, he said.

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Potential baby Adolf must have some reeeeeeal nice parents...

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Originally Posted by Gregoshi

Pat and Sheena's stupidity is 4real.

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I agree, this is almost as bad as abortion.

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Satan and Adolf Hitler were proposed names that have been declined, he said.

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This reminds me:

Several years ago, we were watching this football team on tv. It was Austria, or an Austrian clubteam against erm, don't-remember-really. The Austrians were trailing behind, and in the second half brought on a substitution. The commentator said something like 'hang on, a substitution. Looks like the battered Austrians are putting their final hope on Adolf Hitler!'.

~:eek:

At least, that was what I understood it to be. I looked at my friend and he looked at me: "...what did he just say...?"
Then each team the Austrian had possesion of the ball, the clearly embarrassed commentator scraped his throat and mumbled something to the effect of 'Adolf Hitler' This went on for twenty minutes, while me and my firend were all up in giggles by now, "Is he really called that? Is it some practical joke? What's going on?"
Then they finally showed his name on screen. It turned out there is this professional Austrian football player, surname 'Hütter', whose parents thought it a good idea to give Adolf as a first name. :wall:

What where they thinking!? Sure, Adolf is an old name, nothing wrong with it. But being Austrian, with this surname, you don't do this to your child. Hütter and Hitler sound a bit too similar, eh? It was all hilarious and tragic and the same time.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle1969254.ece

My taxes pay for this.

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The prisons are bursting and the judges are threatening revolt but the weighty matter of morris dancing has been on the mind of Justice Ministry officials and their boss, the Lord Chancellor.

To the hilarity and astonishment of other Whitehall departments, among the submissions for Lord Falconer of Thoroton to mull over is whether a team of morris dancers from his department could name themselves the Lord Chancellor’s Men

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Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Making sure that the issue received the attention it deserved from Lord Falconer, one of his private secretaries sent a two-page “submission” to his boss. The submission, seen by The Times, is worthy of Whitehall officialdom at its best as it outlines the issue, recommendation, background, and consideration and handling of such a delicate matter of state.

Nick Goodwin, an official in Lord Falconer’s private office, explained the issue simply: “Whether to allow a morris side to name itself after your office”. The side is made up mainly of officials in the newly formed Ministry of Justice, with Mr Goodwin among the morris dancers, Tim Stamp, the head of statistics, on the violin, and Eirian Walsh-Atkins, of the information rights division, on the squeezebox.

With the newly formed morris side making their debut at Hackney church fête in East London on July 7, Mr Goodwin made the recommendation for Lord Falconer: “That you agree to the side using the name the Lord Chancellor’s Men,” the submission sent on June 7 said.

It added that given the side’s connection with this department, “they would like to name themselves after your office”.

He tells Lord Falconer that the morris side dance in the Cotswolds tradition and in the Bampton style, which involves “the use of handkerchiefs and sticks”. Clearly, Mr Goodwin had done some homework, as the submission went on: “As far as we can tell, no such request has been received by a previous Lord Chancellor. There do not appear to be any legal/ statutory constraints on you in granting this request. The decision is therefore one for your personal judgment.”

He then outlines the pros of morris dancing to help Lord Falconer as he wrestled with the submission. It added: “Morris dancing is currently one of the Icons of England on the Department of Culture Media and Sport site, alongside a cup of tea, a stiff upper lip and a bowler hat.”

Ferrari versus Papacy. Who will win?

Cannibal eats finger and needs treatment for acute food poisoning...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Doha - Four Asians who allegedly murdered a compatriot and then ate the body were caught when a finger of their victim was found in the stomach of one during treatment for acute food poisoning, the daily Al-Sharq newspaper said on Friday.

The Qatari newspaper said the four men had to seek emergency hospital treatment after eating part of the corpse, various bits of which, including a finger, showed up on hospital X-rays.

The paper did not give the men's nationalities. It said their victim was also of Asian origin, and that the affair, unprecedented in Qatar, was now in the hands of prosecutors. - Sapa-AFP

Watch out, he's got a fake leg!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Walter Pacheco | Sentinel Staff Writer
June 20, 2007

A robber in a wheelchair used his prosthetic leg to attack a man, then rolled away with cash and a bottle of beer, Orlando police said.

Antonio Jennings, 21, told Orlando police he was walking behind the Mobil gas station on the 2800 block of West Colonial Drive at about 11:30 p.m. Monday when a couple of men approached him.

Jennings recognized one man as "Walter" and the other as "Woody," who was in a wheelchair. The victim said Woody struck him in the face with his fake leg, robbed him of $30 in cash, an assortment of identification cards and his bottle of beer.

If caught, Woody could face armed-robbery charges for clobbering and robbing Jennings with his prosthetic leg.

"When an object is used as a threat of force in a robbery, it is considered an armed robbery, and the [fake] leg is considered a weapon in this case," Orlando police spokeswoman Sgt. Barbara Jones said.

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Obesity is so revered among Mauritania's white Moor Arab population that the young girls are sometimes force-fed to obtain a weight the government has described as "life-threatening".

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Super Size Me.

Why don't we trade all of our fatties for hot, thin Arab girls? It's win-win.

Democrats support the troops- Canadian troops, that is.

Might explain why some are skeptical of Dem's claims to support the troops.

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Why don't we trade all of our fatties for hot, thin Arab girls? It's win-win.

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I agree.

CR

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Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit

Democrats support the troops- Canadian troops, that is.

Might explain why some are skeptical of Dem's claims to support the troops.

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Pfft. Don't the Democrats know how to Photoshop?

A fashion faux pas

A fashion statement gone wrong!

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Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit

Democrats support the troops- Canadian troops, that is.

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In much the same spirit, Dick Cheney declares himself to be a mysterious Fourth Branch of the U.S. government (no, I'm not making this one up).

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...esGovChart.jpg

Cheney tells agency that Vice President's office is not part of the executive branch

Michael Roston
Published: Thursday June 21, 2007

The Office of Vice President Dick Cheney told an agency within the National Archives that for purposes of securing classified information, the Vice President's office is not an 'entity within the executive branch' according to a letter released Thursday by the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.

"The Oversight Committee has learned that over the objections of the National Archives, you exempted the Office of the Vice President from the presidential executive order that establishes a uniform, government-wide system for safeguarding classified national security information," Rep. Henry Waxman (D-CA), the Committee's chairman, wrote in a letter to Cheney. "Your decision to exempt your office from the President's order is problematic because it could place national security secrets at risk. It is also hard to understand given the history of security breaches involving officials in your office."

Waxman noted that Cheney's office had declared itself not affected by an executive order amended by President George W. Bush in 2003 regarding classification and declassification of government materials.

"Your position was that your office 'does not believe it is included in the definition of 'agency' as set forth in the Order' and 'does not consider itself an 'entity within the executive branch' that comes into the possession of classified information,'" a National Archives official claims Cheney chief of staff David Addington wrote to him.

The Vice President's office's refusal to comply with the executive order and the National Archives's request prompted the National Archives to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office. But the Justice Department has not followed up on the Archives's request.

In response, Waxman issued a set of questions to which he requested answers by July 12.

The full set of documents from Waxman's office can be found at the Oversight Committee's website.

I thought the News of the Weird thread was for stories about exposing genital mutilations rather than why Dick has been cut off from exposure?

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Originally Posted by Banquo's Ghost

I thought the News of the Weird thread was for stories about exposing genital mutilations rather than why Dick has been cut off from exposure?

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You're not getting paid to think, you're paid to moderate.~D ~;)

Seriously, I think that Dick story is quite weird, just creates a new branch in the government, that guy, maybe that puts him above the law because his branch is included in no law whatsoever.:clown:

Have you licensed that sporran or are you just pleased to see me? I fear that the police are going to constantly badger people about this.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Sporran wearers may need licence

Kilt wearers could face prosecution if they do not have a licence for their sporran under new legislation which has been introduced in Scotland.

The laws are designed to protect endangered species like badgers and otters, whose fur used to be favoured by sporran makers.

The legislation applies to animals killed after 1994.

Applicants must prove that the animal was killed lawfully before they will be able to get a licence.

The conservation regulations were designed to close a number of loopholes and bring Scotland into line with other EU members.

They also apply to other vulnerable animals like deer, wildcats, hedgehogs, bats, lynx, moles, seals, whales, dolphins and porpoises.

The regulations require anyone who owns any part of a protected animal to obtain a licence.

The maximum penalties for breaking the law are a fine of £5,000 and six months in prison.

Hamish Husband, spokesman for the Association of Tartan Army Clubs, said the legislation could affect fans who follow their national football team.

"Are the police going to take DNA samples from the sporran of every kilted supporter who walks into Hampden?" he asked.

"If that's the case we will need to look into obtaining a licence to cover the entire Tartan Army."

The new rules will also cover fishing flies made from animal hair.

A Scottish Executive spokeswoman said the new rules had been put in place to bring Scotland into line with existing European legislation designed to protect vulnerable species.

"The licence will allow people who possess artefacts made from these species in circumstances compliant with earlier laws to keep them," she said.

"This could be family heirlooms of various descriptions.

"Having a licence for such an artefact, proving it was obtained legally, will ensure they will not be prosecuted or have it taken from them under the new regulations."

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Originally Posted by Lemur

In much the same spirit, Dick Cheney declares himself to be a mysterious Fourth Branch of the U.S. government (no, I'm not making this one up).

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...esGovChart.jpg

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I don't know, mine is kind of a 'Aren't those Democrats just a bunch of stupid hipocrits?' while yours is more disturbing tale of Mr. Cheney.

CR

I wonder if Bush is jealous of all the attention his Dick gets.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

:shame:

Scientology Stops the Movie

Germany doesn't want Cruise as a Nazi Colonel.
I understand completely.

Two lovely nuggets:

Flying Fire Hydrant Kills Calif. Man

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

OAKLAND, Calif. (AP) -- A sport utility vehicle crashed into a fire hydrant, which shot like a "bullet," striking and killing a man walking nearby, police said.

Humberto Hernandez, 24, was walking with his wife Thursday evening when a 2007 Ford Escape blew a tire and swerved onto the sidewalk, striking the hydrant, police said.

Water pressure and the impact of the crash sent the hydrant flying like a "bullet," said Phil Abrams, an Alameda County deputy sheriff.

Hernandez was hit in the back of the head and was pronounced dead at the scene.

After striking Hernandez, the hydrant hit a fence before landing another 20 feet away.

"I've seen a lot of accidents but never anything like this," said Oakland police Lt. Fausto Melara.

Hernandez's wife was not hurt.

and

Sand Castles of Death

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

First it was killer sharks. Then it was killer bees. Now American holidaymakers heading for the beach this summer are being warned to watch out for another lethal hazard: killer sand castles.

The US bucket and spade brigade went on full alert yesterday after research by a top physician revealed that people falling into holes dug in the sand had accounted for more fatalities in the US since 1990 than shark attacks - 16 as opposed to 12.

The article, written by Dr Bradley Maron in the New England Journal of Medicine, said sand holes and tunnels, the byproduct of building sand castles and other juvenile beach fortifications, could turn into deathtraps with horrifying speed.

Although such incidents were extremely rare, Dennis Arnold, who runs a beach patrol at Martha's Vineyard, off Cape Cod in Massachusetts, said lifeguards were under orders to stop children digging deep holes. Occasionally some parents protest, he said. "They'll say 'You're ruining my kid's day!' and I say 'I don't care!'," Mr Arnold was quoted as saying.

USN&WR 06-25-07

Populous China's Name Shortage
The Problem: too many people and not enough different names. As a result China may soon try to reduce name confusion in a country where most of the 1.3 billion people share just 100 family surnames. For instance, 93 million Chinese have the surname Wang, and 92 million have the surname Li. A newborn can take the surname of either the father or mother, but now officials are considering also permitting a combined surname, such as Wangli or Liwang.

Gee, as a newborn I wasn't given any choice what so ever about my name. Not that I recall anyway. :inquisitive:

Imagine the cluster F' at airport security. :dizzy2: