How wrong is it to fall in love with a girl who has a boyfriend...

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How wrong is it to fall in love with a girl who has a boyfriend...

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not sure if right or wrong comes into it.... but maybe ask the Trojans if it's worth the hassle :clown:

My girlfriend was engaged to another man when we met. The mutual attraction was, as it turned out, instant for the both of us. However neither of us acted on it, or even admitted to it, for a good long time. It was obvious though that her relationship was failing, the love was gone and they were both just treading water. Finally she admitted her feelings to me, and I to her. The next day she broke up her engagement and relationship of four years, despite the risk of significant fallout.

Thing is that I didn't have to seduce her or to steal her from another man. She let herself go because she wanted to. I didn't see her one day and take her the next - our friendship grew until it was so much more than the relationship she was in. We didn't fool around behind anyone's back and no one was betrayed, though obviously someone was hurt anyway.

I would say that if you met a girl yesterday, fancy her today and then attempt to take her tomorrow then you are indeed in the wrong. You know nothing of her, of her situation, of her current relationship. Nothing. You don't know what you are getting into, what you may be damaging, what your chances of success are or even if it is truly worth it. That is the action of a man after a one-night-stand, and there are better targets for those urges than a girl who is already in a relationship.

Now that we've garnered some backroom reaction, we'll move this to its natural home: the Frontroom of Peace, Love, and Grooviness.

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How wrong is it to fall in love with a girl who has a boyfriend...


... and then try to seperate them or seduce her somehow? What if she is really beatiful?

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The "fall in love" part, you can't control. The "try to seperate them or seduce her somehow" bit is wrong. You wouldn't take the guy's lunch just because it's sitting in front of you. You wouldn't just take his car... leave his girl alone. (Quoth the Old Coot).

Or be totally upfront and honest; tell him: "Hey, I have a crush on your girlfriend. No offense. She sure looks nice to me."

That way you're admiring her and him both, without trying to steal.

About 10 years ago, I had a girlfriend.

One of my best friends fell in love with her and he seduced her on some party.

Words cannot describe the anger you feel at such a moment. It's the only time in my life (well, except for a few boxing matches with my brother and one fight with a bully in my childhood, but those hardly count) that I lost my selfcontrol and actually punched a guy in the face.

Leave them be. I think being cheated on in a serious relationship is one of the worst things that can happen to you. It's horrible.

If she's really beautiful, go for it! Just remember that she'll leave you soon because some guy will eventually do to you what you did to her old boyfriend.

Back when the Earth was flat, one of my buddies hooked up with a chick who looked like an 18 year-old Elizabeth Taylor. I looked at her and knew in one second flat what the future held. A year or two later when I was a wee bit drunk at a party, I told her I was going to have her if it took twenty-years.

It took eight.

Never forget, though, you will face the consequences of your actions. Never doubt that.

Yes and no.

It's not odd to "have feelings" for someone who is in a relationship, and I don't think it's necessarily bad to go after someone in a relationship either. It's just not gentlemanly ... not fair play.

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Originally Posted by Fragony

If it's a friend of you it's wrong, otherwise fair game

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no I don't know the guy actually I just met her yesterday and before that we were perfect strangers. I dunno, I guess I will just wait to see what happens. Today when woke up I felt like I wont fall in love but I couldn't sleep until 4 am. So she has this aura that affects me but I can control it. After all I have bitter experiences.

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Originally Posted by Mete Han

no I don't know the guy actually I just met her yesterday and before that we were perfect strangers. I dunno, I guess I will just wait to see what happens. Today when woke up I felt like I wont fall in love but I couldn't sleep until 4 am. So she has this aura that affects me but I can control it. After all I have bitter experiences.

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Sounds more like lust than love; I'm not sure how the translation to Turkish would go. Think about what you would do with her once you "had" her. Try to develop a relationship and see if she feels the same.

If I found out a beautiful girl was already in love with some other guy, I'd probably stay out of their affairs, and just wait until I find another girl I like. But my opinion could change over time...

Well, I did that exact thing.

I felt terribly guilty even though we are still very happy with each other.

She ended it with him before anything happened between us.

The circumstances turned out to be in my favour:
He lived on the other side of the city
She only saw him once a week
She didnt like him, she just didnt have a reason to break it off.

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Originally Posted by Vladimir

Sounds more like lust than love; I'm not sure how the translation to Turkish would go. Think about what you would do with her once you "had" her. Try to develop a relationship and see if she feels the same.

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Actually it is greed rather than lust for I hardly find her sexy. She is sweet and beautiful though and I am just obsessed with that particular type. However, I dont feel the way I felt yesterday, it is just that I am obsessed.

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Nice to meet a fellow obsessive countryman. :freak:
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Originally Posted by Mete Han

... and then try to seperate them or seduce her somehow? What if she is really beatiful?

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Ethically speaking, it is very wrong.
Evolutionarily and scientifically speaking, it's natural and expected.

My advice is you beat her guy up real bad, show her who the stronger one is so she will make love with you instead. If he turns out to be stronger, try to escape, there are other girls in the world and they're not worth too much effort, you might get emotionally attached or something. Always remember you're the alpha male, you're the guy and if anyone wants the same girl, beat the :daisy: out of him, it's only natural, science supports this. But keep in mind that if you take too many hits, no girl's worth that, they're only girls, you know.

You can get the best advice by watching Animal Planet or Planet of the Apes by the way, awesome documentaries if you want to know how this whole dating stuff works, can only recommend them. Now may the stronger one prevail and you better drop her when I come along. ~:wave:

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:laugh4: Satire meets the satyr. :yes:
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piledriver was good advice.

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Originally Posted by Sinan

Ethically speaking, it is very wrong.

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Why, if she's worth the trouble gaining her she's worth keeping as well. If it would mean tearing apart a family for your own shortlived pleassure ok, but if there is mutual attraction go for it unless it's a friend of yours.

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Originally Posted by Husar

My advice is you beat her guy up:elephant: :elephant: real bad, show her who the stronger one is so she will make love with you instead. If he turns out to be stronger, try to escape, there are other girls in the world and they're not worth too much effort, you might get emotionally attached or something. Always remember you're the alpha male, you're the guy and if anyone wants the same girl, beat the :daisy: out of him, it's only natural, science supports this. But keep in mind that if you take too many hits, no girl's worth that, they're only girls, you know.

You can get the best advice by watching Animal Planet or Planet of the Apes by the way, awesome documentaries if you want to know how this whole dating stuff works, can only recommend them. Now may the stronger one prevail and you better drop her when I come along. ~:wave:

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okay I'll see her tommorrow. she is going to visit the company (at which I am an intern) and be there for the whole day but for a project that has nothing to do with me. I will keep you posted about the life in the zoo.
:elephant:

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Originally Posted by Mouzafphaerre

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Nice to meet a fellow obsessive countryman. :freak:
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You know how rarely we get those blonds in this country even in Mikligarðr.

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Or be totally upfront and honest; tell him: "Hey, I have a crush on your girlfriend. No offense. She sure looks nice to me."

That way you're admiring her and him both, without trying to steal.

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Kukri-sensei, this country's men can't dare saying "kiss your wife for me" (which is not offensive unless you say it while licking your lips over there, iirc). Therefore, being that honest would be a pain in the ass. Literally.

Mr. Adanılıyıh Allahın Adamıyıh,

1- You never heard of the saying "Olacağı varsa olur" ? Why mess with someone else's relationship? If she likes you more while you two are together, she'll break up eventually and there you go. That's all about it. Meanwhile be a good guy with manners -not a "nice" one like a puppy. Olacağı varsa olur. :2thumbsup:

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You know how rarely we get those blonds in this country even in Mikligarðr.

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"Rarely" is too much, ain't it ? We got a good blend over here, me thinks. (no no, I'm not talking about painted coquettes)

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Originally Posted by LeftEyeNine

Kukri-sensei, Why mess with someone else's relationship?

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Life is short and I am obsessed. But I won't mess their relationship, I hope.

I am not those kind of Adanali who goes around saying Allahin Adamiyih. Turcoman blood runs in my veins.

But thanx anyway.

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Originally Posted by Mete Han

You know how rarely we get those blonds in this country even in Mikligarðr.

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You take me back 16-17 years to high school. And that was a real one! :yes:
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Originally Posted by Mete Han

Life is short and I am obsessed. But I won't mess their relationship, I hope.

I am not those kind of Adanali who goes around saying Allahin Adamiyih. Turcoman blood runs in my veins.

But thanx anyway.

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Weirdly, everyone I met who is from Adana turned out to be nationalists. I guess you are all running away from the invasion there, eh ? Or do you still live there ?

And, yes, don't mess with their relationship. It's not that hard to knot your...uh..hormones.

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Originally Posted by Mouzafphaerre

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:laugh4: Satire meets the satyr. :yes:
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I see no use in the ability to balance a vase on your *todger*

Edit: The Previous rude might have got me another warning point

Edit2: Todger sounds a bit short for the vases on which satyr are on, are there another words?

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Originally Posted by LeftEyeNine

Weirdly, everyone I met who is from Adana turned out to be nationalists. I guess you are all running away from the invasion there, eh ? Or do you still live there ?

And, yes, don't mess with their relationship. It's not that hard to knot your...uh..hormones.

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I left home at an early age. I live in Istanbul but I will have to return soon. I am not just "some guy" from Adana. We are bound to each other. The invaders will learn to obey.

ADANA VICTRIX

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Originally Posted by Mete Han

I left home at an early age. I live in Istanbul but I will have to return soon. I am not just "some guy" from Adana. We are bound to each other. The invaders will learn to obey.

ADANA VICTRIX

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I should watch my back closer in the streets. :stare:
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If you think she's in a bad relationship,there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

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Originally Posted by Lord Winter

https://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b...nevilLogic.jpg

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So true.

All is fair in love and war, even if the saying is no longer true in the second case.

Just make sure you consider the price you'll pay for your actions, if you're willing to accept that, go for it. Life is short, try to make it interesting.