As I said, when I was at your age, I did not have any. Maybe in the friends aspect you are even better: you said "1 friend at a time" . This is something after all.Quote:
Originally Posted by John-117
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You have your grandmother.
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As I said, when I was at your age, I did not have any. Maybe in the friends aspect you are even better: you said "1 friend at a time" . This is something after all.Quote:
Originally Posted by John-117
+
You have your grandmother.
try a sport that people need to rely on you to succeed.Quote:
Originally Posted by John-117
Sorry to say it this way dude, but your case is really nothing special. If you read the posts on this thread, you'll realise that we've ALL been through exactly the same thing. We've had our own shitty 13 years of age, our down in the dirt teenage years. It's always crappy, the teenage years--and yet we are here now, years later, and some even while they are still grappling with their own problems in their teenage lives, telling you not to do anything stupid, and walk on.
We've made it through our teenage years with the same friendlessness and the same parental fights. Which teenage kid doesn't fight with his parents, I ask you? My parents, as I said, did the exact same with my computer, and confiscated my handphone for three months. Nevertheless I decided in the end to continue living on because death is a mug's game--there's so much to live for still. Getting into arguments with parents is a terrible reason for which to kill yourself--if it was a halfway good one we'd already see thousands of teens jumping like lemmings from the Golden Gate Bridge or mass-electrocuting themselves at the nearest electrified fence. Yet we don't. Says something, doesn't it?
We know how you feel here--you may say 'it's different, it's different, you don't understand.' But truth is, your story is the age-old story that teens around the world in all kinds of backgrounds and all kinds of eras have gone through. It may not have involved Xboxes in 450BC, of course, but substitute something that means a lot to you and you've got the picture. And you will come out of it and go on to a life less (or more, depending on how you look at it) ordinary like the vast majority of the human race has.
You'll be fine, dude. I'll be your friend if you want me to. But remember this: NO ONE is ever truly alone in this world. NO ONE. And the people who are posting now on this thread do care for you in some small way--though they've never met you before, they care enough about you that they want you to treasure your life. I care enough that I want you to go on with it. And I'll even accompany you along if you want it. But don't insult your own body and soul and will by deciding to kill them off before they've truly had a chance to prove themselves in later life.
Bad logic. They have not tried XBox. Once you have tried something, and grown accustomed to it, withdrawal is rather difficult. But as for myself, I am not mcuh of a game fan. All I play are RTS games, and for the last two years I have mainly played EB, still on my first and only campaign, which says quite a bit about how much time I spend playing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jolt
I am fearful of losing my savegame for that campaign though, but to counter this, I have backups of it on three computers, two flash drives, and four discs. As for the games, I think all of you gentlemen know where to get some if you do not like/cannot pay for them...
My sympathies are with you however. You do not have very wise/caring parents as I can see. Losing such things is difficult I can imagine. But no reason to commit suicide. Then again, I understand there are quite a bit of other factors as well.
but its not the typical teen years. i am isolated by my online high school. and i have no real escape from my parents.
someone just PM'ed me asking that.
wither giant knife to the head, through heart, or taking off the parking break on a car and letting it run over my head.
As I said, it's typical.
Here's some rather counter-intuitive advice I can give, which I used to deal with my own situation: Learn to live without it. My parents were trying to keep a hold on me by threatening to take away everything that meant something to me, to break down my individuality and make me submit to their will. I defeated their efforts and eventually forced them to see that they had to deal with me not from a master-servant relationship but as an equal partner in the enterprise called Family. How? If they took away my handphone, I didn't just let it happen--I shaped my life around the lack of handphone. I switched to reading, and spent more time in school. If they tried to find trouble for my staying longer in school, I fought back.
Fights? Fight the good fights if you believe enough in them. Don't go quietly into the night. If you let things happen to you then of course your life is going to be crap. Isolated? So was I. Heck, so were WE. No one wanted to talk to me. In the lecture theatres in my later teens I was often the ONLY PERSON in my row--people would move away rather than sit next to me. So? I'm not there for them. No friends? Then you'll realise one thing that few people have the privilege to learn--you don't really need them. Not yet. Your life will go one far better, maybe even better, without them.
Being 13 is a terrible time, as Jolt's said--but I say again, you may say 'it's different, it's different'... but however you try to escape from the truth of it, the truth is: it IS the typical teen years, however much you may try to deny it. It's not the end of the world--it's not something only you have gone through. I wish I could be there physically dude, I feel for you and I definitely wish your parents were more understanding--but should and would build no bridges. We all must go through life with what we have, because you don't escape from life to go to a better place. If you're not religious, then you know life is all you've got. There's nothing to escape to. And if you ARE, then you'd also know that suicide would send you to a place far worse than anything you've got right now.
So keep living.
Put that giant knife you've got in mind away. Far, far away.
I go to Online High School also and I love it.....
This ain't going to be good for us :stwmean:
Don't do it kid. I got A LOT of health problems, from wrists to teeth to stomach/side problems, ears,kness, etc....
I'm still going.
I don't think he is joking.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aemilius Paulus
Second, I want to tell John one thing. Look, you love TW games, right? Then listen... what general you prefer... a one who fights to the end or the one that flees when faces a difficulty? Do you think the great people had easy lifes?
Hear, hear, Stephen Asen. Truer words were never spoken. You played EB yes? Be a Spartan--not a Lugoae. Who cares if you're surrounded and there's only 10 men left? You don't rout. You soldier on.
And you're not surrounded yet. The battle's only just started. You haven't only got 10 men left. You've just been attacked by one unit. Rout that unit and move on.
@Aemilius: You're missing the point. Attention-seeking IS the point. He feels alone right now. He goes to online high school--he doesn't even have a physical presence of friends and acquaintances to hang on to. He needs us now to give him the attention, because he's worth the effort that others in his school don't seem to feel bothered to put in. I fail to see how you're helping him by dismissing him as a suspected troll. Not everyone can express themselves clearly in lucid terms, or would be in the mood to write long essays like we are (and I am) when you're in a state of depression. But judging him to be a troll simply on the basis that he doesn't say too much is irresponsible and insensitive in the extreme.
I don't think he's joking. What if what you said pushes him over the brink? Will you take responsibility? You just asked him to think about how he's going to kill himself. Are you planning to refine his plan for him, or ridicule him for it, or dare him to do it, just to prove he's not a troll? Will you bear the consequences later on?
How can you be saying the things you say? Fine, so you think he's joking. Then hold your peace. What if, on the off-chance, he ISN'T joking? What then? Troll or not, we have a duty and responsibility as fellow forumers to help. He's a fellow human being and Org member in need of help--that's good enough for me.
What's the point of saying 'better safe than sorry' now, I wonder? You've already done enough damage in all your previous posts. The kid's 13, man, he needs help and understanding, not interrogation and accusation! As if he doesn't already have enough of it in his life.
amelius. you will be mentioned when i call the newspaper. ill make sure to mention "look on my computer at my bookmarks and click on user CP. yah. and the note on my desk, that guy encouraged me to do it. goodbye forever
Suicide is a cowardice. It is not something to be proud of. People will read the newspaper and will throw it after they read it... then they will forget. You will only hurt those who love you (your grandmother who can even die of grief. or the single friend you have will suffer). The others won't care! You must live and fight!
i have no friends. my last one hates me because of a money dispute and moved away before we could resolve it. in a way, he caused most of this. ill tell you the story if you like
If your from the Uk visit this site. http://www.samaritans.org/
If not I'm sure there is plenty of websites and hotlines out there to help you cope.
I'm not going to go in depth but I'm just going to tell you one thing, you have to much to live for to throw it away. A lot of people, especially teenagers have suicidal thoughts, I'm speaking from experience but seriously you have so much to live for. If you commit suicide your throwing away a life of possibility. You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it, now tell me why you would want to throw that away?
Your probably in a dark place right now but seriously, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
and im aiming to get to that light, goig into it as soon as possible.
Quote:
Originally Posted by John-117
Speak please.
I can't remain here on the forums much longer--but please let it out. There are listeners here, and we want to help.
Honestly, you won't be able to kill yourself with a "giant knife". Suicide is pretty difficult, and you'd likely botch it, end up in the hospital with a punctured eye or severe lacerations.
Your parents sound like ****monglers, by the way. I don't understand why they would uninstall your games and destroy your Xbox (which they PAID for); why did they do it?
You need to ask yourself: WHY am I so unhappy? I do not mean your parents or friends or online school or any of that. Why does this make life so unbearable? The truth is, it is all up to you. Life is like poker- everyone gets dealt a slightly different hand. I would advise you to stop worrying about what you were dealt, and instead focus on what you can do with that. I'm not going to patronize you by saying that what you've gone through is nothing special at all; that is, however, unimportant. Many great people have emerged from terrible circumstances, whom the world would be vastly inferior without. Similarly, many people have been born with a silver spoon in their mouth and squandered it. If you end it now, you squander it and are no better than them. Dig down, find some pride, and stand up for yourself!
desert has a point. Suicide, if botched, will make your life far worse than it already is. Better to just deal with what you ALREADY have, and improve it from there.
Think about it: if you think it's hit rock bottom, then there's only one way to go from there--back upwards. Chill dude.
I hope you will take the right decision and will live, mate. Tomorrow evening (Bulgarian time), I will be back and I hope to learn all the story from the living John.
Don't make a life or death decision based on people posting on the internet.
Go here: http://www.befrienders.org/
or here: http://suicidehotlines.com/
Just get in contact with them. Or your parents. Talk to someone. Take some time to review your life, and not just the bad things.
We all have experience terribly trying times in our lives.
If you stick it out, it will get better. I know, I've been depressed. I know some people who tried to commit suicide and are only alive today because someone saved them. But he's alive - and enjoying life.
Life seems terrible but I know the whole of it can't be. There must be something in your life that is good, even if it is small. Concentrate on that.
But think of all the wonderful things in life you have yet to experience. Let me tell you, there is so much wonder and beauty - don't take all of that from yourself.
CR
it seems people here want to hear my story of the evil friend. here it is:
my friend and i had a lawn mowing business, and almost everyone payed in $20's. this was problematic when i mowed a lwan by myself, and he mowed a few feet at most. when his mom became angry that he ddnt get any of the money from that lawn, my dad payed it off. then we got in an argument, and i lost my xbox for 9 months. now i only get to play it every friday for 2 hours. now because he got it taken away, i got into a fight with my parents over more time which boiled into schoolwork and then i told you what happened from there.
Well, keep this in mind: Spartans never die.
WWMCD (What Would Master Chief Do?)?
lol i gotta tell that one at forgehub.
would anyone like to hear the story of my lost love or the girl i liked who dumped me on the day of the dance?
Look, a friend of mine had many problems with his parents. They argued all the time. Not just raised voices but screaming and slamming of doors and exclamations of hate. His life was miserable and he made their life miserable. This happened for years, and its hard to imagine the hate involved over that time. He got dumped by his girlfriend on the day they went to the dance. He got into drugs and dropped out of school. Got kicked out of his house. Thought about killing himself, and, sadly, others.Quote:
Originally Posted by John-117
But he didn't. He didn't give up. He reconciled with his parents and moved back in and went to community college. And then he got into a four year university.
Your situation isn't that bad. I can see why you're angry, but that's no reason to commit suicide. Trust me, there are so many marvelous moments in your future.
It seems some problems come from disagreements with your parents. I found that, when I was really angry with my parents, it helped to tell them what I thought as calmly as I could. In your case, explaining why you didn't give that friend of yours any money. Compromise - offer to pay five bucks even though you don't think he deserves it. But always try to explain yourself.
And remember they love you, even if it doesn't seem like it. Tell them how their actions make you feel depressed. But talk to them.
I was homeschooled for a bit - see if your parents will let you take at least some classes at the local school, and if there's a homeschooling organization around you that organizes field trips for homeschooled students. Just google 'homeschooling association [your state]"
CR
Tell us.
Girls are overrated though, seriously. Think back to when you were 9, 10, 11...when girls were either a neutral object that you had no opinion of or were an annoyance. Good times, good times...
Right now your pissed and depressed which is not the right state of the mind.Quote:
Originally Posted by John-117
I thought about suiciding once I was 6 because I thought life sucked and its boring. I climbed on the tip of the verrenda and I looked down and it was high and scary. So I gave it three more days and decided not to after all.
I thought about suiciding at 13 when I read Battle Royale and got depressed for some reason.
But I'm really thankful I didn't suicide back then. Because I'm loving my life right now.
Depression clouds your judgement. It makes it feel like your alone and everything is against you.
Your dead wrong. I certainly don't want you gone. While this is first, possibly second time if I did greet you in the entrance hall of speaking to you, you sound like a decent fellow. I may see you around in all around the forum, and maybe possibly in real life.
I'm only 4 years older then you but I know this much. Even if theres a person I hate alot. They change. So even I'm looking at you like just another Orgah right now, future you may be my best friend.
Okay you can choose to ignore my post so far. But please don't ignore the following.
Right now, your pretty much at the bottom in terms of depression. Just give a month or so until you are absolutely certain that you are on the top or at least on the surface. If you still feel like suiciding then your life really does suck and you deserve to get a better life.
So heres a deal. Just try to live one day more, one week more or one months more. If you can't bear it, we are all here for you to support. And I'll be crying if you do end up dead.