How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
All of it.
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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
All of it.
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure. :sweatdrop:
Chuck Norris, George W. Bush, and Kim Sung Il walk into the same bar at the same time.
Do I really have to tell you how this ends?
Chuck Norris kills people by looking at them. Chuck Norris is also resurected everytime he gets killed- no matter what. Chuck Norris once accidentally looked into a mirror for one second and killed himself a thousand times.
Chuck Norris can also chew with his butt.
Let me guess. Does it involve a roundhouse to the face?:inquisitive:Quote:
Originally Posted by Divinus Arma
Nah, he strings their heads together and uses them as nunchucks on Osama bin Laden who just happens to wander in.Quote:
Originally Posted by InsaneApache
(Now, now - Beirut)
Nunchucks eh? Wouldn't Condaleeza Rice be more appropriate? :laugh4:
Oh dear, that's desperate mate! :laugh4:Quote:
Originally Posted by InsaneApache
In Walker, Texas Ranger, Chuck's character is a marshal arts expert.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
So can I. The answer's zero.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pannonian
Chuck Norris kicked Britain and that's why we have the Tames Estuary.
Sorry about my poor attempt at a Chuck Norris joke btw.
No, it isn't. Anything divided by zero is impossible, it comes either as an imaginary number or infinity depending on one's teaching.Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver Rusher
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade
Anyone know any nun-Chuck jokes?
(Now,now. Pt:II - Beirut)
Chuck Norris was a nun? :inquisitive: :laugh4:Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregoshi
Chuck Norris stopped an asteroid from hitting the Earth by ordering it to change course. However, he was PO'd at not being given the credit for this, and so wiped out the ungrateful dinosaurs.
Now that reminds me of Yossers Story, when he's lost everything and goes to see the priest.Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Peasant
"I'm desperate father!"
"Call me Dan".
"I'm desperate Dan"
*sound of head banging on the wall*
Stop it please! I'm going insane (Apache-Stylee)! You're killing me! :laugh4:Quote:
Originally Posted by InsaneApache
Christ, I wish there was even a slim chance of finding a pub in Oxford to screen the Leeds/Warrington RL play-off game tonight. The place is packed with Rah-Rahs and jolly-hockeysticks types. I bet Chuck wouldn't have this problem.
If you close it, you better use a roundhouse kick to hit that delete key...Quote:
Originally Posted by Big King Sanctaphrax
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him.
"Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer"
- saw it as a comment on the YouTube thingy. Awesome.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAc1G3u-hxs
Chuck Norris facts.
Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris does.
Best one yet :2thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil_Maniac From Mars
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
There are no weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris was once the F.B.I's chief negotiator. His job involved calling up criminals and saying, "This is Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Chuck Norris' imaginary friend can kick your ass.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
The gaping hole in the Periodic Table of Elements once contained all of the elements used to create Chuck Norris. The government omitted these elements in future publications of the Table out of fear that rival nations could make their own Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris falls into the water, he does not become wet. The water becomes Chuck Norris.
Nobody questions Chuck Norris. Not even the o rly owl
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris surrounded the Romans at Cannae. On his own.