Heh, I actually do that with doors due to the assassin movie :)
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Heh, I actually do that with doors due to the assassin movie :)
... when you wonder where the radiactive green arrow under your feet has gone
... if you wake up from a dream envisioning an alternative strategy for the last battle you played last night
... if you don't notice that bush moving a few feet at a time next to you
When you wake up and the first thing you do is read the posts and boot up M2TW and then realise that you actually slept only an hour or so.
When you feel so hungry you wonder when the last time was that you ate, then you realise you have'nt eaten since last night and it's now 07:00 (AM doh).
When your cleaning lady knocks on the door and you yell "NOT NOW INFEEEDEEL !!!"
When you reschedule your appointments around when your next campaign goal will be reached (e.g Jerusalem etc).
When people call you to ask if you got their messages and you accidentally pick up the phone by habit... you say "Hello, This is my answering machine, Sorry I'm not in right now but if you..... "
When the only shopping you do is at the nightshops, because you've been sleeping all day.
You don't care if your wife is shopping because whilst she is gone you can play!:ballchain:
you feel an awkward paranoid compulsion to make a financial donation to the Vatican.
you worry that the local vicar might organize an heresy trial at the church hall.
When you actually believe that in real warfare, the best way to get through the enemy lines is to retreat...
I am already infected with the above. please save me!Quote:
Originally Posted by Bijo
additional points:
* You keep looking for mercenaries to hire.
* And you get angry when the confused foreigners refused to dress in funny clothes and be hired (those darn Scots/German Knights/Swiss Pikes/Sami Axes/Turkopoles/<insert your favourite mercenaries>)
* You keep wishing that you can get rid of someone by forcing them to walk across the straits like you did with your unwanted diplomats, princesses and agents.
* You keep thinking that any problems can be solve by the fury of your sword/longbows/crossbows/guns/catapults/balistas/spears/<insert one favoured weapon of your choice>
* When you are mounted (on horse/bike/anything), the first thing you thought of was charging, the second thing was charging, the third thing was charging, the fourth was....
* You got so inspired by the siege battles that you open up the "Kingdom of Heaven" so that you can watch (young) Balin battling Saladin for Jerusalem at least 5 times, everytime.
* You have thoughts about trying and burning your younger brothers/sisters as heretics for disobeying you.
* (Probably redundant) You keeping thinking about tithing to church will inproves your relationship with the Pope/Church/God.
* You have problem using normal words to insult people and have to keep using the M2TW pre-battle speech.
* You think of home-improvement as upgrading your castle and wanting to see more exotic units.
* You start thinking of people in terms of anciallaries and traits.
* And if they don't match up you start creating it for them
* like me
* Ideal philosopher? Niccolo Machiavelli Favoured Quote? Niccolo Machiavelli Current reading? The Prince.
* (Married Men) - You have problem with "the horn", and the only way that your wife can get you "the horn" is by doing pre-foreplay preparation of marching pikemen, charging knights and archers shooting.
* You have no interestin life anymore, only in the total destruction of Spanish/French/English/Turkish/<insert your hated fraction>
* You standard response to foreign wars was "Why don't we massacre everyone so that we can get high fear factor? "
* You inspire yourself to do sport by pretending that you are one of your favourite unit.
* You pickup a weapon or make shift weapon and start hanging around in bad neighbourhood, looking around for some rebel to bash so that you can get experience point.
* M2TW terms starts to replace your own language. For examples "What fraction are you from?"
You've played MTW2 too much if you start making references in a real history discussion. For example:
Teacher: "Medieval times were quite rough on the commoner..".
Me: "Yes, it must have been annoying taking so many years just to travel from France to Denmark..."
Teacher: "What?"
Me: "What was really interesting, was when the Pope got killed by an Assassin and got replaced with a Spanish Cardinal, causing tension between the church and the Danes."
Teacher: "Wait, what are you talking about..."
Me: "Actually, what i wanted to ask you about, was when Denmark had taken Jerusalem back from the Mongols, how did they manage to maintain a siege there for so many years without any supply lines?"
Teacher: "........Get out of my classroom."
:laugh4:
I get the winning first trait after i was picking on the weaks.
When you start wearing a purple shirt and a Greek cross to work.
When I put six books on Byzantine history in the fall book order for a High School library
When I can actually pronounce the names of those Byzantine units.
... you are out on the town and arrange your buddies into a schiltrom when you see a mounted policeman.
... you are hunting and plant sharpened stakes around your tree stand
... you inform your mother-in-law that your relations just went from terrible to abysmal
... you wonder which NFL teams have combat bonus in snow
... you tell your sister there is only a 37% chance she will remain a part of your family after marrying her boyfriend
... you ask the doctor if your new baby is inbred
... you are about to enter a building or someone's house, and instead of knocking, you ram the doors. :laugh4:
... you tell your friend that a wall you are passing has good graphics
... you have a strange dream combining M2TW with Red Alert 2, and you imagine Yuri mind-controlling a Medieval army and shooting paradroping GI's with their longbows
schiltron *snigger* that would be very funny if you all present a wall of pens to the mounted policeman.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReiseReise
how about :
You got booted out of cricket team because you tried to arrange all the cricket stumps as a row of protective stakes for your batman.
Instead of doing the romantic (secret) climb to your GF's window, you tried to assault her window with a siege ladder.
When told that your $$$ is getting low, your response is "don't worry, i will sack some <city name> soon"
Your car is falling apart but you don't even care - but you keep playing just to get that late-era general coz they looks cool.
ditto for your house.
your dog nearly get impaled/brained from your attempt at reenactment of Agincourt.
Your excuse to your ex when you brokeup was "You can't give me wife-is-useful traits"
When you keep muttering......"Where's da Fight?" in your best Scottish accent.....:laugh4:
Ha ha you laugh but I actually find myself do that a lot recently! Uncanny... Now, where's da fight?Quote:
Originally Posted by Fookison
.... when your family & friends arrange an "intervention" to try to get you to quit your M2TW habit.
.... when on the forklift at work, you charge through a thin defensive line of mechanical fitters with the forks raised, using them as a lance, all in the mean time screaming "FOR GLORY!". I have never been asked to move anything for anybody ever since.
LOL. Seriously? isnt that against workplace safety (law) in AUS?Quote:
Originally Posted by Galain_Ironhide
I think you better stick to infantry in M2TW from now on.... :gathering:
Absolutely true!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Ars Moriendi
when you start to consider marrying somone on the basis of political benefits or outcomes.
When you start making references to 'flanking manoevers', 'under-powered cavalry charges' and 'finishing moves' in you history classes when learning about the suffragettes:oops: (true story, and i got some pretty funny looks after that beleive me)
When you type toggle_fow instead of using a Tom Tom (navigation computer)
When your bank manager asks you kindly tot stop typing add_money 40000 during on line banking
...you always ally with the Pope every game
...send Merchants to Timbuktu every game
...Jihad or Crusade spam for the Chivalry points to then get the population growth bonus every game
...conqouer the British Isles for the economic "base" every game
...prepare for the Mongols from turn one everygame
I'm not saying these aren't sound strategies, or that I don't do them myself (I don't think I've played the Moors without having over 5000+ coming from Merchant trade by turn 30), but I find I no longer see the game as a game anymore, but as numbers and figures punctuated by real-time battles.
Yep. :help:Quote:
Originally Posted by Autumn
I've got another one:
"You see a riot on television, and wonder why the Governor hasn't built a new brothel to raise public order":2thumbsup:
...You can't drive past a stone building wondering how best to position your men for a siege.
...Can't help thinking when looking at a car how much weapons and armor you could make from it.
...Can't walk past a jewelry store without thinking about pillaging it to pay for your mens wages.
...You try to convince your college debate team that the opposing party is just a bunch of rebels and that they "richly deserve the gallows".
...Demand tribute after a winning an argument against your best friend.
...You are torn between sacking or occupying the empty house across the street.
You've played it at all.
...you start changing the form of insults in the pre-battle speeches (for example, sausage eating beer swilling imperial pudding heads to cheese eating wine drinking .... you get the point) to fit the faction of your choice [No offense meant to anyone btw]
...you think that Moscow actually is to the east of Novgorod.
...you think that there's no way to get to the red sea from the meditterranean.
...you think that during lunch hour at 12:10 the Horde will appear.
...and only if you make a mathematical model that goes like O(t)=[ax/t^2-g(e^x)+(1-g)(m^by)]/<5t-6,3x,y>*|z^c| for predicting when your campaign will be over.
...you start recognizing BTW as 'Barbarian: Total War' or some other TW variation of some sort.
...you've banned yourself from playing any TW games at all because you need all your spare time to study for an exam, so instead you spend all your time at work reading and posting at the Org in order to get your fix
You've removed it from your hard drive and reinstalled MTW/VI with the XL mod. :idea2:
... your little brother wants to have a play swordfight with you, but it has to be RTW style so you can't block attacks and he always wins because he goes a Berserker with 2HP and I'm always a Hastati:shrug:
I suppose that was my little brother playing RTW too much more than me actually being addicted, but I got him hooked.
... whenever you make a sandwich you always think of how the bread is flanking the ham:embarassed: