Message from Jesus

What is her mail?

Ask her: why noone noticed you were a girl when they crucified you naked to a cross?

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Originally Posted by IrishArmenian

Whatever church that is, they shouldn't go down that road. Impersonating Jesus? That is a new low.
Never find anything like that over here.

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What do you mean, 'impersonating'? :stunned:

I find it troublesome that Jesus for all of the years since he was born has yet to have learned to spell English words correctly

Just hope she's not a bearded lady.

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Originally Posted by Xdeathfire

I find it troublesome that Jesus for all of the years since he was born has yet to have learned to spell English words correctly

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Probably using the Babal Fish to translate Arumaic.

Wash her feet, she'll dig it. Just don't ask her if he's had her nails done lately. You might get leprocy or something.

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Originally Posted by Adrian II

Conversion? Repentance? Will y'all please unplug it, guys? This is 2007, get with it. I think I'll take her to see The Da Vinci Code so we can have a good laugh about everything before we unwind in that deluxe hotel suite on the 16th floor overlooking Rotterdam Harbour on all sides.

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Eh... I was kidding, Adrian. In a thread originating from a joke, with no serious responses, you think I would be the one getting all serious and religious on your :daisy: ? Heh, c'mon. I have a hard time keeping from joking in the serious threads...

Adrian II.I also remember suggesting you to have intercourse with Jesus and you just accuse of me from being old fashioned. Im sure that enlightening experience like that could show you the light so does speak.:laugh4:

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Originally Posted by sapi

With a title like that, this thread is going to get a lot of hits :laugh4:

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I dont think so

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Originally Posted by Blodrast

Eh... I was kidding, Adrian.

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Yes, so was I. I did not seriously believe you called for my repentance, rest assured.

I am not seriously calling for a list of questions to pass on to Jesus when I meet her either. I am going to keep her all for myself. And Chardonnay it is, come what may. So there.

clearly the aim should be to get your salad tossed by female jesus.....
am i the only one who is thinking in here.....?geeezzz...

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geeezzz...

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priceless.

Recommended response:

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Hell.o Jesus:

I am thril.led. All my lif.e I knew wew oud meet. I wil l be at (cafe name and address) each day at noo.n wearing a silly bl ack beret. How wil lI know you?

sign.ed

Anxious poet

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C'mon guys, let's help our A-deuce out (and hope jesus isn't a toothless 75 year old, or winsome 10-year old, or 45 year old biker dude, or 25 year old cop).

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25 year old cop

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:stop:

"Hello, are you Adrian?"
"Yes."
"Your coming down to the office with me."

Hmmmm..... the possibilities.

Well, if you are unlucky she is a lesbian and she doesn't want to have intercourse with you.

If you are very lucky, she is bi-sexual. In that case, you should ask her to bring the hot Maria Magdalena with her and you can have them both.

Ask the hotelmanager for a King-size bed my friend.

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Originally Posted by KukriKhan

It's not unusual, in spanish-speaking cultures, to name kids "Jesus, Mary and Joseph", both boys and girls.

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What spanish-speaking cultures are you thinking about? Unless you're talking about a combination of names, like Maria Jesus...:inquisitive:

Don't forget to carry the Holy Ghost with you Adrian...

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Originally Posted by Soulforged

What spanish-speaking cultures are you thinking about?

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Todos de las culturas latinas Soulforged! Come on, you must have old relatives in your family too. They're all called 'Mary' (María, Marie), men and women. I'll bet you all those old aunts of yours have the name Maria stuck in there somewhere. Quite a few men too.

Here's a graph. It has been steadily declining, but prior to WWII, one in eight Frenchmen or women were named a variant of 'Mary'. This number even skyrocketed upwards in 1919 and 1945.

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Originally Posted by Soulforged

Don't forget to carry the Holy Ghost with you Adrian...

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Quite the opposite, I shall expect the Holy Ghost to carry me as I lie all night betwixt her breasts.

Awake, north wind,
and come, south wind!
Blow on my harbour city
that its poison clouds may spread abroad.

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Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat

Todos de las culturas latinas Soulforged! Come on, you must have old relatives in your family too. They're all called 'Mary' (María, Marie), men and women. I'll bet you all those old aunts of yours have the name Maria stuck in there somewhere. Quite a few men too.

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I'm not saying that Louis, I'm saying that a man can't be called simply Maria in spanish, it could be however Jose Maria. A woman can't be called simply Jesus or Jose, but it could be a combination, Maria Jesus, or a variation, Josefa. All of them are considered in my country to be names subjects to jokes, and of course some idiots still call a man named Jose Maria only by his second name, wich is sexually ambiguous :laugh4:. In fact I don't have any relatives with the names Maria or Jose, strange now that you mention it, because, indeed, they're common...:inquisitive:.

By the way that will be the equivalent of calling you Luisa or calling Adrian, Adriana.

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Originally Posted by Adrian

Awake, north wind,
and come, south wind!
Blow on my harbour city
that its poison clouds may spread abroad.

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Just LOL Adrian.

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Originally Posted by Lorenzo_H

Ask her: why noone noticed you were a girl when they crucified you naked to a cross?

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lol :2thumbsup:

Remember to only serve her holy water!

Take her to Del Rancho, then rent a sleazy motel. Maybe she'll do the Monroe Transfer with you.

Make sure it is a room with a bible!