ChaCha

This was too good

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Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: JeffC
JeffC: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: Hi I'm looking for a really good websearch engine
JeffC: Ok, let me send you a few links.

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And the answer

www.google.com

Um does this guy realize what company he's working for lol

:laugh4: :laugh4:

Strike, thats so great.

:laugh4: Best one so far.

lmao! You guys are brilliant! Keep them coming!

Someone try chating up one of the guides!

EDIT: Just read through the rest of them. SFTS that was great!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CountArach

Someone try chating up one of the guides!SFTS that was great!

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They send you packing in a pinch.

Bump

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: SandraL
SandraL: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hi
SandraL: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: okay, i'm looking for wire to make chainmail, not ebay though
You: 14 gauge
SandraL: ok
SandraL: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.
You: let me check out the second site for a bit
SandraL: k
You: okay thanks
You: those were great, one more search though
SandraL: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: yeah, i need to find "The Wars" by procopius, its has no copyright so i just want an ebook not a link to amazon
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Guide not located.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Guide not connected.


Now these are easy though wierd searches I made and I still got disconnected. I think the guides have no patience, that and for chainmail any wire will do, a link to a hardware store should have been more useful then sites about chainmail.

I'll try this out for some serious searches sometime, looks as if it could be useful for find gifts for people and that's about it.

Quote:

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Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: SheilaC
SheilaC: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hey, need a box of grid squares
SheilaC: one moment
You: im new to my unit and my squad leader told me i need to pack a box of grid squares and chemlite batteries for the ruck march
You: not that i have a clue what either are
SheilaC: me eithr
SheilaC: either
You: mmm
You: well i guess those are grid squares, what do you think he meant by a box of them?
SheilaC: i dont know
You: oh well thanks
SheilaC: Thanks for searching ChaCha!
SheilaC: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

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I have to say army humor isn't as funny when you can't laugh at the guy asking for these. I think I'll give up on this, what can top searches for nuclear bunkers or a better search engine.

These aren't mine:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Quote:

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danifestmestny posted:

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: JuliaK

JuliaK: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

JuliaK: What can I help you find?

You: Hi julia i am looking for hunting laws in my area

You: some rascal at the lodge keeps changing the signs

JuliaK: Okay. Are you looking for a particular set of state laws for your area?

JuliaK: Or would this be county?

You: well i'd just want to know: Rabbit season or duck season?

You: check state laws first i suppose

JuliaK: Where do you live?

You: in wisconsin

You: in the woods

You: near the lake

JuliaK: Okay - let me see what I can find....

You: i swear this guy at the lodge must be daffy, he keeps changing the signs like that, he's gotta be nuts right?

You: who would do such a thing i'm so confused

JuliaK: Shhhh....be vewy vewy quiet....I'm finding your information.

JuliaK: *smile*

You: oh great yes i hunt so i must talk like elmer fudd

You: howa bout i tawk like dis den huh uh uh uh uh

You: that hurt julia that cut straight to the core

JuliaK: You sound like you have a terrific sense of humor!

JuliaK: Do you need details about the law or just the dates?

You: details please, i'm atually kinda new to this and i'm trying to learn before i go out for the first time

JuliaK: Okay

JuliaK: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.

You: ok cool that one works

You: looks like i know what's what now

You: DUCK SEASON

JuliaK: Are these results sufficient?

You: yep

JuliaK: Terrific!

JuliaK: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!

JuliaK: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.

Status: Session ended.

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Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

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GoDie posted:

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: GeorgeM

Status: Session ended.

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: AprilG

AprilG: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

You: OH THANK GODS

You: we had a horrible incident at the zoo today

You: I NEED YOUR HELP

You: I need to know how to remove glue from a giraffe..

AprilG: what kind of glue

You: i don't know.. a lot of it

You: it's like an epoxy.

You: but it's a giraffee

AprilG: may I ask how it happened?

You: it's all over his neck

You: HE WOULDN'T KEEP THE ZEBRA COSTUME ON.. I KEPT TELLING HIM TO LEAVE IT ALONE BUT HE KEPT BITING AT IT

You: so i glued it to him

You: and now the play is over and i can't get this glue out!!

AprilG: I have been having a bad day but you have made my day

You: PLEASE HELP ME SAVE THIS GIRAFFE

You: oh god..

You: he's got another giraffe stuck to him!!! please jesus find me an answer!!

You: aprilG.. please.. for the giraffe.. and the monkey stuck to him.. please help us

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Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

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Myrrh maid posted:

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: JasonK

JasonK: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

You: hi

JasonK: Hello

JasonK: You are looking for this image?

You: im after a pic i saw about 3 months ago in a google image search

You: an elderly farmer in a field with cows

JasonK: Do you remember what your search terms were

You: "stoat box"

You: i think there was at least 2 cows

JasonK: I'm not entirely sure what stoat box has to do with the search

JasonK: Could you explain?

You: ok

You: it was the year 1967, a difficult time for farmers in the midwest

You: stoat boxing was common on farms

You: there werent any stoats in boxes in the picture though

JasonK: Ok

You: has anyone ever asked you do find them lesbian porn?

JasonK: I've never been quick enough to accept the search

You: right on.

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Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

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Caffeine Wolf posted:

Status: Connected to guide: ChristineG

ChristineG: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

ChristineG: Hello there.

You: Hello I am looking for a store in Texas that sells a number of different items

ChristineG: How can I help you today?

ChristineG: ok....

ChristineG: Let's start with one.

ChristineG: bin bags?

You: I am landscaping you see. I need a store that sells Shovels, Some sturdy bin bags to carry several hundred pounds...of dirt, some quicklime to disolve the damaged soil , some cutting apparatus for small bushes, I guess a meatcleaver would work best. Thank you

ChristineG: Ah....ok.

ChristineG: Is this mail order or do you need to pick it up?

You: Also I may need some rope for. trying up some of the bags

You: I would prefer to pick it up I would not like to give out my current living addess.

ChristineG: Where are you located?

You: I cannot say exactly but around Austin. I would prefer not to cross state lines to find this store if possible thank you christine

ChristineG: Sure...let me check that out for you.

You: If you cannot find 1 store that does all of that then dividing it between 2 stores that are very close to each other is fine.

ChristineG: ok....

ChristineG: Are you interested in a store like Home Depot?

You: yes something like that however the only place i have found only sold the shovel and rape

Christine: Pardon?

You: sorry i meant rope

ChristineG: First let me give you this page then I will search for the specific items

You: ok

You: ah that link I have found another of stores near me. I think this may do

ChristineG: Great...

ChristineG: I was checking to see what they had.

ChristineG: You might have to call them. But they usually have everything that you need.

You: I searched for austin texas in their box. They have everything i think

You: thank you so much for your help I wont forget your good deed ChristineG

ChristineG: Great!

ChristineG: Well ty for ChaChaing!

ChristineG: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!

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Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Quote:

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danifestmestny posted:

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: DelaineL

DelaineL: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

DelaineL: Good morning and how are you doing?

You: hi i need to know the name of a song i just heard

DelaineL: Any type of lyrics or singer you know to help me search?

You: i dont know the name or who sings it and i couldnt make out a lot of the words but it was very catchy

You: it was something pop-rock like, justin timberlake type stuff but i know it wasnt him

You: i think it wasnt him

You: maybe if i describe it though

DelaineL: I can send a site or two you may check out, if that would help.

DelaineL: Thanks for coming to ChaCha! Give me a moment while I do all your searching for you!

You: it started with a really high pitch whir then a bass loop that went "bow a dowdowbow, bow a dow; bow a dowdowbow, bow a dow

DelaineL: One moment.

You: then a background singer (female) started in with some oooohs and aahs type stuff

You: then the lead singer/rapper/whatever came in and started singing about a girl

You: and that he either owed her money or she owed him money

You: but they were in love so it didnt really matter

DelaineL: Sending you some sites for you to check out that may help you, one moment please.

You: are you finding anything or does that sound like a familiar song to you

DelaineL: Sent you a couple of sites.

DelaineL: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.

You: i could tell by the way he was singing that he was black

You: you know what i mean?

DelaineL: Yes.

You: he sounded black

You: like he kept saying the n word

You: ok let me try to remember more

You: i think the chorus has him singing like 4 lines and then the background singer repeats them and then he repeats them and then the background singer actually sings her own verse

You: she sounded black too

You: you know what i mean when i say she sounded black?

You: and during her part she kept saying o baby and stuff and wanting the man to buy her things

You: do you know this sonf

You: song

You: help

DelaineL: Searching yet.

You: what

You: do you need more clues?

You: during the chorus and right before it the music changes and this beat comes on like "tap tap tappa DOM DOM tap tap tappa DOMDOMDOMDOM tappa tappa"

DelaineL: Are these results sufficient?

You: no none of these have a black guy and a black girl singing about buying presents for each other

DelaineL: Thats all I can come up with, with the information you provided me.

You: but what about the beats

You: did you search for the beats

DelaineL: Yes

DelaineL: Thank you for using ChaCha!

Status: Session ended.

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Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Quote:

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RichardHenley posted:

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: AndrewJ

AndrewJ: Hi, what can I find for you today?

You: Well, I've been hopping from guide to guide, with minimal success (2 good results, though) so maybe you can help me

You: My son is sick and loves cats, so I want to amuse him with photos of cats seemingly defying gravity, and floating

You: Now we're getting somewhere

You: I once had a nightmare like that 2nd photo

AndrewJ: lol, oh really i bet that was scary...

AndrewJ: I'd be terrified if I saw that!

AndrewJ: Are these the type of pics your looking for?

You: I had locked myself in a bathroom, to escape these kittens that were chasing after me in great numbers, and thouught I was safe

AndrewJ: lol, of course, cuz the bathroom is the best place to hide from crazy kittens

You: But then a paw slipped under the door. And then a head. And then they started crawling under the door at me, upside down

AndrewJ: wow, sounds terrifying

You: Their mouths open impossibly wide, emitting black fluid and unnatural croaking noises

You: Yeah, it was pretty damn weird

You: I woke up in my neighbours front yard, covered in blood

You: Apparently I had acted out my self-defense against these cats on THEIR cats

AndrewJ: wow, thats sounds horrible

You: I told them they shouldnt have raised Socks to be an outdoor cat

You: They thought that it had gone off into the woods to die or something, but the jokes on them. I have it, stuffed on my mantle

You: Some day I'm going to ring their doorbell and leave Socks on their porch

AndrewJ: lol, wow thats pretty harsh

AndrewJ: are they horrible neighbors or sumthin?

You: No, but I am

AndrewJ: ah, makes sense

You: SUCCESS.

AndrewJ: Do those help or do u need more?

You: These are pretty awesome

AndrewJ: Great!

You: If I take the duct tape off, I am sure my son will smile (He is mentally challenged, and screams a lot, you see)

You: I don't even know HOW he could have gotten sick, but feel it is my duty to cheer him up

AndrewJ: Well that's always good I don't think you should duct tape his mouth shut though, even if he screams a lot

AndrewJ: You should probably try and find other ways to help keep him quiet

You: Like what

You: Hey, maybe we could search for that!

AndrewJ: we could

-Search result: Raising Children - The Mentally Challenged Child

AndrewJ: Anything else I can help you find tonite?

You: Hmm

You: Can you recommend me a good psychiatrist

You: No, wait, what is the best defense against attacking cats

You: In case my dream was prophetic, and it's actually going to happen in real life soon

AndrewJ: I'm looking for it right now

You: Okay, thank you

AndrewJ: I'm sorry, I can not find it

AndrewJ: I think that all you'd have to do is kick the cats and you'll be fine

You: Drat, I guess I'll just have to keep a baseball bat on hand, or something

AndrewJ: yea, keep a bat in the bathroom at all times just to be sure

You: That is good advice, and I shall kep it in mind

You: Well, he has started acting up again, so I must go tend to my son
You: You have been *very* helpful

AndrewJ: ok

AndrewJ: Have a great nite!

AndrewJ: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.

Status: Session ended.

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Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Quote:

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danifestmestny posted:

Status: Looking for a guide ...

Status: Connected to guide: JuliaK

JuliaK: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.

JuliaK: What can I help you find?

You: Hi julia i am looking for hunting laws in my area

You: some rascal at the lodge keeps changing the signs

JuliaK: Okay. Are you looking for a particular set of state laws for your area?

JuliaK: Or would this be county?

You: well i'd just want to know: Rabbit season or duck season?

You: check state laws first i suppose

JuliaK: Where do you live?

You: in wisconsin

You: in the woods

You: near the lake

JuliaK: Okay - let me see what I can find....

You: i swear this guy at the lodge must be daffy, he keeps changing the signs like that, he's gotta be nuts right?

You: who would do such a thing i'm so confused

JuliaK: Shhhh....be vewy vewy quiet....I'm finding your information.

JuliaK: *smile*

You: oh great yes i hunt so i must talk like elmer fudd

You: howa bout i tawk like dis den huh uh uh uh uh

You: that hurt julia that cut straight to the core

JuliaK: You sound like you have a terrific sense of humor!

JuliaK: Do you need details about the law or just the dates?

You: details please, i'm atually kinda new to this and i'm trying to learn before i go out for the first time

JuliaK: Okay

JuliaK: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.

You: ok cool that one works

You: looks like i know what's what now

You: DUCK SEASON

JuliaK: Are these results sufficient?

You: yep

JuliaK: Terrific!

JuliaK: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!

JuliaK: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.

Status: Session ended.

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:san_laugh:, those poor people.

One I just did:

Quote:

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Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Guide not located.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: Renee K
Renee K: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hello, I am looking for a good Total War fansite
Renee K: hello
Renee K: hello
Renee K: how can i help you?
Renee K: ok give me a few moments to see what i can find for you
You: Thanks
Renee K: let me know if you like the first one while i keep searching
You: P.S It's got to have a freindly forum with nice members.
Renee K: ok, thanks, one moment please
Renee K: ok, check that one out
You: [he just found TWC] I like it, but the look is bad on the eyes. The tan background just doesn't do it for me. Do you have any others?
Renee K: yes just found another one
Renee K: there you go
Renee K: there's another one
You: Beautiful [at this point he found the Org]. Thanks very much.
Renee K: youre welcome, anything else?
You: No thanks.
Renee K: have a great day
Renee K: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
You: Thanks
Renee K: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

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What cheek. They found TW Centre first. It took them ages to find the good old Org.

Quote:

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Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: KimF
KimF: Welcome to ChaCha!
KimF: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: Hi, Im lookin for four chandles. Sorry bout me eglish.
KimF: chandles?
You: ya now four handles, andles for forks
KimF: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I'm finding the most relevant results for your search.
You: hile you ar lookin cud you find som a ose
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...

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They didn't manage to fall for the two ronnies old sketch. If they had it would have been funnier.