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Meh. There are a lot of places in the world where its totally normal for children to live with their parents until they are married. They are either in their parent's family home, or away at school, or they are in their own new family home.
In alot of ways this is less wasteful.
Ah love, such a difficult subject. I remember the last time I was really in love (with my current gf) I just felt sick most of the time (really, it was love, not something I ate). Not as bad as a crush I had before that though, my brain would literally short circuit at times, and I literally couldn't think of anything besides her. Good thing love fades.
Now I'm in a relationship were most of the early love has faded, and we now have a 'mature' relationship which is more about caring for eachother and consideration than whatever romantic crap you do when your first in love (yes, there is still sex).
I don't agree with the poster who said that if you have any doubts you should bail. In any mature relationship people are going to have doubts, eternal love like in the movies is just an illusion, a relationship is a bumpy road. You have to decide whether or not the relationship is worth the 'discomfort'. Only then can/do you really chose for a relationship with a person.
That said, it's often indeed better to call it quits, certainly when you're still very young. Have some fun with it, get some life experience.
To those who feel they have lost the ability to love: are you sure it isn't about hormones that have settled down a bit ? Everything is more intense when you're young and they're racing through your body.
Oh, and to the OP, if you really want this girl than just for it, if it works out then it works out, if it doesn't, it doesn't. At least you can say you tried.
It's almost always better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't.
In some places it is normal for people to live with their parents even after they are married. It's all about setting boundaries I suppose. I know a 60+ year old woman who had a successful business and *still* lets herself be ruled by her mother (she's a lesbian, her mother doesn't approve, ugly story really). Sometimes moving out doesn't even solve the problem.Quote:
Originally Posted by Del Arroyo
Too bad society places so much emphasis on 'my house, my rules', which means most people are desperate to move out at 18 (or earlier), even if there is still love and a connection, people just need (emotional) space to grow.
:bow: (Said by the Butthole Surfers in one of their songs IIRC)Quote:
Originally Posted by doc_bean
Anyone who has ever contracted mystery meat making you piss needles will tell you that it simply isn't true :embarassed:
ALMOST always.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fragony
It's an excuse for taking a chance, not for being stupid :laugh4:
I'd make an exception for having sex in a balloon for that statement.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rythmic
Which leads to another point, some people probably think their relationships are equivalent to having sex in a balloon.
:)
Well chances are that I am stupid. And I once shot myselve in the eye with a condom, that must be god saying to stop trying.Quote:
Originally Posted by doc_bean
Okay, right.Quote:
Originally Posted by AntiochusIII
:laugh4:Quote:
Originally Posted by Fragony
I'm still scared of her. :hide:
Due to the fact that my wife and I have terrible Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, we never had that problem.Quote:
Originally Posted by doc_bean
Don't be scared, Shaka. "What do you do when fear looks at you in the eye? You spit in his face and tell him to go to hell!"--Family saying.
Understandable, but buck up, breath deep and stand tall.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaka_Khan
Ok. I will.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rythmic
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beirut
Thanks. When in doubt, I read what you say, and I feel fine.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fragony
~:mecry:
:sweatdrop:
~:mecry:
I have to admit; she has made me into a very pathetic man.
Ah the pain. :shame: I'm feeling some pain right now. :bigcry:
To make a long story short I really liked a girl, but she never would go out with me for some reason or another and then one day she moved away. After a while the pain went away and I figured I'de never have to see her again. Well guess what I thought wrong. She moved back here now, but hopefully I'm over her, but you never know. :bigcry:
New name Csar? :yes: ~:)
Thnx for pointing that out Legio :bow:Quote:
Originally Posted by LegioXXXUlpiaVictrix
I was wondering, who's that Ichigo guy? Those sigs sound familiar, I'm sure I have seen the "vote Sasaki" thingies once before, I've seen that avatar everywhere on this board, but who the **** is that guy?
I almost said "welcome back Ichigo"... :embarassed:
Same. :laugh4:
I had sex with a balloon once
You often find it when you're not looking for it. I ended up getting married when I was younger to a girl I met at college. That went badly wrong, in too many ways to list, she had issues and was very paranoid so we had to separate and divorce after about two years of trying to live together. After that I opted for the single life. This didn't go to plan either, and while on my travels in foreign parts some years later, I met my second wife, whom I am still with. I like being with her, but not the married part, that was her idea. Marriage doesn't really interest me. Don't get me wrong I'm loyal but I hate the imprisoned feeling. I'm not religious so it's just a piece of paper. Almost every day I still yearn for freedom, thinking of the places I could go and see. Nowadays I simply don't have the available funds for this. Once you're married you never seem to stop paying out. :wall:Quote:
Originally Posted by IrishArmenian
Yep. Figured I needed a change.Quote:
Originally Posted by LegioXXXUlpiaVictrix
Only once?Quote:
Originally Posted by Major Robert Dump
:yes:Quote:
Originally Posted by doc_bean
:laugh4:Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraggony
.Quote:
Originally Posted by Caravel
so true.... although that can be a good thing
very sad topic :no:
:no:Quote:
Originally Posted by Major Robert Dump
I fall in love with someone...who lives very very far.GAH!
What pain, what pain.
Hmm, what I can say is that I'll probably won't ever have my heart broken again... truly, to have your heart broken, one must have one first, and throughout time I have none left (or very very little). Nope, what I have left is an engine instead of a heart, and black oil 'stead of red blood, and an organic CPU-like device in my head 'stead of a human brain. That's what things, figuratively speaking, can do to a suffering person (not just love, btw).
Sometimes I'm so cold, negative, or sarcastic, that when somebody offers me flowers, I ask where the coffin is that goes with them :P or a reply like "Thanks, thanks very much. Now I'm still missing a coffin..... and my corpse."
If that ain't negative, I don't know what is :P
ARGH !!!
Not me that's broken hearted but I feel like venting:
A friend of mine recently broke up with his girlfriend of about 2 years, just before the holidays. He was one of my best friends a few years ago, but then he got a job and moved back with his parents and I continued studying, so I haven't seen him in a long time. Still, when i recently thought about who my real friends were his name was on the list (on a side note: i really should see these people I call friends more often, damn).
He met the girl through a mutual friend of ours, who also happens to be my girlfriends brother. He's been terribly heart broken since she broke up with him. He asked me if I wanted to go out tonight (is there a way to say that without making it sound gay btw ?) and I had to decline, and i'm feeling really guilty about that now.
The reason I *had* to decline ? The guy who introduced them to eachother (my brother in law, as we sometimes jokingly put it) seems to be going after his ex, and he didn't waste any time either. I know that if I saw my friend I'd end up telling this OR feeling really guilty about keeping this from him. If I'd tell him I'm not sure what would happen, he'd probably be even more depressed, might get mad at the other guy and have me totally between a rock and a hard place.
Other people's love lives are so complicated :no:
Doc, rule of thumb:
Do the honourable thing. Tell the friend who isn't trying to jump into his mate's ex's pants what's going on. The other guy doesn't deserve a second of your time, even if he is your girlfriend'd brother.
Tell your gf what you're going to do and why. She may not like it but she should be able to appreciate why it should be done if she herself is worth it.
I disagreeQuote:
Originally Posted by Wigferth Ironwall
for the following reasons
1. He already said he hadnt seen the guy in a while - chances are you were prolly gunna lose touch with this guy - different lives growing apart. So in the long term in will hurt you less not to tell this guy anything.
2. Its none of his business - if this chick dropped him for another guy - then she was going to drop him 'fullstop', if it wasnt for the brother in law - then it woulda been someone else. For all he knows the friend couldve been a jerk toward her, and deserved it.
3. Blood is thicker than water - even blood in law - you said it yourself - chances are this guy will be your brother in law one day - best start by looking out for your kin. Mates are mates, blood is more than mates. And no your GF will not understand if you side with your mate over her brother - particularly if shes close to her brother.
my 5c - sometimes when relationships break up - the friends are forced to choose sides - sometimes the friends politc - ends up differently to how it began. If you didnt rush to console the guy, chances are you were thinking of cutting him lose already - sad but sounds inevitable to me. Better than damaging the relationship with your future brother.
edit: I couldve sworn this post didnt have this many typos when i firts read it..... is there such a thing as a naughty post fairy that adds typos to your posts when your not looking!!!
Argh, I hate my problem. Conundrum?
I like a girl, and we enjoy talking about stuff (politics, my third love after military history, I digress) making snide jokes about said stuff, and I enjoy talking to her, don't know about visa versa. I feel really bad about helping her with homework, just because I've got the concept of 'under your own steam'.
However, the massive stumbling block is that she already has a boyfriend. They like each other (duh), and they seem to enjoy being together.
Now, I have a split idea on the situation. One side says 'go all in' and ask her to cheat on aforementioned boyfriend, go to movies, and let life roll on. The other says to just give up, and to stop helping her with her homework.
:help:
I dunno dude sounds like your one of her 'friends' - in which case you dont have a cinders chance in snow of being any more than that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshal Murat
Either way you dont want to be 'one' of this girls so called guy 'friends' if you want it to be more
the other possibility is shes keeping you online out of interest for you.
my advice would be:
tell her your starting to have feelings for her and therefore - it wouldnt be fair for you to continue helping her with her homework - because you you couldnt be with her and true to youself at the same time.
this will cause either of 2 consequences
1. She will go 'ewww' and distance herself from you - in which case you have your answer and dont have to waste anymore time helping her with homework
2. She will drop said BF and start hanging out with you
either way you avoid the undesirable position of 'endless holding of candle' - which imo should be avoided at all costs
I just saw this thread now, and I hope your doing better by this time. It sucks, I know... oh do I. I know this hardly helps now, but you will get over it. It just takes a time, which is various depending on the situation. I'm sorry you are in pain, I'll just say again, it will go away. I know it can suck.