The world according to the Koinon

First of all I'd like to thank you really very much for the reply on that small epilogue. In the last weeks I did'nt have much time to play or even read all those new AARs, which appearded on the forum. I will catch up on that later.
Now I'm glad to be able to go on with last update. It's quite big and not yet complete, so I decided to release it in four parts, which will be about the Northwest, the Southeast, the Northeast and a Koinon Hellenon Epilogue. The first one comes out in a minute and the others hopefully one by one during eastern. I hope you like it.

Hello again, everybody. This is the first main part of the last update of this story. It's about the things, wich happened in northern Europe during the year of 202.


The world according to the Koinon-Hellenon

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Cut 7: The long farewell / The rest of the world in 202 / Pt.I: Northern European Chaos

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Map of the world in spring 202

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Map of North-western Europe

Aedui

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King Baeren, who got maybe a little bit too settled down while aging

Into spring: King Baeren, highly respected head of the Aedui-Confederacy, could be the happiest man in barbaristic norther Europe. Under his skilled supervision, the Empire of the free gauls grew to a power and prosperity, of which Baerens ancestors could only have dreamed. Due to the alliance with the mighty white strangemen, who came out of the Iberian mountains, southern borders are save. Sure, the roman enemy, who is still led by evil Corpulentus Augustus, the notorious human plumpudding from Aventicos, seems to get stronger lately, but those strawberry-trolls were, according to the historian-druids at Darioritium-University, always pushed back, when the they dared to tresspass into gaul territory. So the 60th birthday of Baeren could have been a party beyond compare, if not his general Borvo would have been there to mix some bitter bile into the King's birthday cerveza.

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Borvo and his compagnion Meriadoc in Gawjam Hattoz

Borvo, who firmly led the Aeduan Troops in the North during the last decade, gloriously conquered Gawajam Hattoz, the favorite village of the corpulent Roman Consul, from the Sweboz, who just had kicked the Romans out of this well known centre of Swebic Haute-Cuisine. When later the village Bagacos was reconquered by the roman Intruders, Gawam Hattoz became an enclave and Borvo and his friend Meriadoc were trapped in the town with their brave elite-fighters. King Baeren, sitting savely at the Atlantic-coast, ordered them to retreat to reinforce the mainlands but: Borvo refused. He and Meriadoc declared the „Independent and free confederation of Borvonia“ as founded in the so called „Manifesto of Borvoism“. Main issues of this manifest were:
-Romans have to be beaten up constantly and consequently
-Good and tasty food of some quality for everybody
-Every King has to resign from his throne at the age of 60, and pass over the crown to a dignified follower, who has at least some military skills.
-A brilliant man must show his brilliance by wearing a brilliant moustache
-Troubadours are allowed to sing only during periods of extreme drought (to cause some serious rain)
So, as Borvoism is widely discussed in the whole Aedui-Empire, including the University of Darioritium, King Baerens birthday is somehow spoiled this year.
-Into summer: King Baerens defensive forces suffer a dangerous defeat against the roman invaders near Viennos. „Send them another bunch of men“, the King orders tiredly, when getting the news.
But in worse troubles seems to be the enclave of brave new Borvonia. Huge roman armies approach from the south to threaten the nucleus of a promising new society. But then unbelieveble news are spread in Gawjam Hattoz: „The fat ist dead, the fat is dead“ cries out a spy, who managed to sneak through the roman lines. Indeed, Corpulentus Augustus, the XXL-nightmare of the north, seemes to have swallowed his last stew. But Borvo isn't really happy. At least, he thinks, the Roman Empire could be gouverned properly for a change. And this sincerely are no good news.

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The moustache-brotherhood seems to be in serious trouble

-Into autum: Now the preapocalyptic fears also arise within the Aedui-mainlands. More Roman armies trample down the tiny gaulic forest-flowers, two of them already threatening Bratosporios. And worse: While Borvonia is left out for now, beautiful Viennos, once conquered by the great Borvo, is now besieged by the Romans. King Baeren decides to send a messenger to Borvonia, to submit peace and collaboration.

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Viennos under pressure

Into winter: Good news in both parts of the Aeduan lands: While the highly pressed Viennos is saved by faction heir Riankiadoc, Borvo and Meriadoc manage to defend themselfes successfully against the first wave of roman intruders. Two entire red armys are pushed back with nearly no losses.

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The Aedui defend themselves.

Into the future: Though the Aedui were victorious in their defense for now, future is uncertain and the roman danger will not disappear for decades. So the Aeduan confederacy and Borvonia can in my opinion only survive by collaborating with eachother. Maybe Borvo and Riankiadoc will become friends soon. Then, and only then, the Aedui have a chance to survive.



SPQR

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Old Augustus Corpulentus again

Into Spring: „Tell me, where is our boss / Buried in Aventicos“, that's what the children sing in the streets of free Roma. Though the Empire managed to get rid of the horrible and disgusting Epirotean occupation, the first consul is not too popular in the italic metropoleis. One reason could be, that no inhabitant of the peninsula has caught a glimpse of the legendary old man with the unbelievable appetite for decades. In fact 68 years old Augustus refuses to visit Roma and prefers to sit in Aventicos. Annoyed and deeply offended by the barbarian occupation of his beloved Gawjam Hattoz, he leaves the fighting duties in the north to his famous Heir Gaius Justus Scipio.

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Scipio, the conquering, but aging heir of the SPQR

Scipio himself is not the youngest anymore. His hopes, that Corpulentus would die soon, crumbled, as the years went by. Embittered by decades of constant war, for an empire, that is run by a worthless moron, he starts to get seriously grim, if not to say evil, in his late years. Bad luck for the Sweboz, whose civil revolts were punished with fierceful cruelity by him lately. His only consoliation, the constant supply of skilled roman elite troops from Italia, made it even worse for the poor foresters. If Augustus would die this year, the Roman Empire would not really be better off with this poison-minded oldtimer. It indeed is an Aera of aging grimbags for the SPQR , and an end is not to be seen at the horizon.
Meanwhile in Sicily, another old grimbag, degraded from being head of the Southern Roman Empire, sits in his hometown and looks across the blue mediterian sea, regretfrully yearning for africa, his original home, to where he probably will never be allowed to return.

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Cheiron in his 50ies, a broken man and regretful renegate

-Into summer: Gaius Junius Scipio orders his personal slave to give him a couple of good licks with the whip in order to prove, that he is not dreaming. After receiving them, he slowly starts to believe, that it's true: The XXL-nightmare of the Roman Republic has finally entered the realms of the unknown. He's gone, gone, gone! Simply vanished. A wooden bridge over one of those typical northern swamps had been not strong enough to carry the load of the first Roman Consul. And those swamps are always hungry too. So, after a live of of eating, feasting and swallowing, nature itself swallowed the whole of the 350 pounds, which were the earthly shape of this remarcable man, this practical joke, Jupiter allowed himself to play upon the roman civitas, to play upon him, Gaius Junius Scipio. „Jupiter bless that bridge“, Scipio cried out. Then he showed himself to his soldiers. „Long live Scipio, the new Augustus“, the screamed. „Friend, Romans and fellow barbarians“, Scipio started on them, „there are deeds to be done....“

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The Consul is dead! Long live the Consul!

-Into autum: And deeds arte done: The Consul himself hunts a little Aedui-exploration-gang out of the forests near Bagacos for fun and then settles down in the village, pleasantly listening to the earthshaking trampeling of the unbelievable mighty warmachine, which now marchs throughout the barbarian forests, because he, Scipio, has ordered it.

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Scipio hunting the Aedui

-Into winter: Ok, the first steps of a brandnew Consul are not the easiest. But Scipio is not too annoyedwith the defeats. With all the power in the north, world domination will only be a matter of time.

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Overview of Roman power in the north in winter 202

Into the future: Though the seed of Borvoism is also sown in the northern villages occupied by the romans, the SPQR is in a good position now. If Qartadast will not start a serious invasion soon, it's only a matter of time, that all thes barbarians will benefit from civilized roman lifestyle, wether they like it or not. Scipio anyhow is a little bit too old and will probably not see a decisive development in his lifetime.


Safot Softim bi' Quartadast

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Old King Himilcar finally reappeard in history

Into spring: The uprise of King Himilcar from retirement was an earthshaking headliner, which was spread all across the Safot Softim within no time. About five years ago, the King, who at that time almoust had become a living mythos, suddenly gathered together some mighty Qartadasrt elite troops, marched through the pacificated iberia, conquered the glorious polis of Massilia from the worthless Avernii and defended it against Roma with braveness and success. Now the african public awaits eagerly the next steps of this gaulic adventure and so do Gaul and Roma. Lately a strong reinforcement army under an angry looking youngster general crossed the pyrenaeic mountains. Will they reinforce the king? Or will they betray the barbarian allies in the north, whose king seems to be a little naive and whose rich and fertile countries would be a tasty prey for mighty phoenicia.

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What will happen?

-Into summer: To the luck of the Aedui, the Quartadast elite force turnes left and takes rest at the gates of Massilia.
-Into autum: Now the Qartadastian force, which is under supervision of General Kanmi Saunites crosses the bridge, that leads to Gallia Cicalpina.

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Will the Qartadast join in the European game?

-Into winter: Not yet. General Kanmi still guards the bridge and waits for the things to come upon him in the future.
-Into the future: The future of the Safot Softim is somewhere hidden in the north of Itala. Allied with the brave Aedui, the Phoenicians have a real chance to put an end to roman superiority in Europe. If King Himilcar or his follower should decide to call the troops, that are situated in Iberia, Roma will have a hard time and the doom of the SPQR could be closer, than any italian citizen believes.

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Qartadast military in pacificated Iberia.


Avernii

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King Tyranos oi Lugos

Into spring: Doom is near for the Avernii, who hide in their last stronghold Vesontio, and though King Tyranos has strictly forbidden to talk about it, everybody knows, that there is no future. No wonder then, that the Borvoistic underground movement is getting stronger day by day and that an increasing number of people sneak across the border to Gawjam Hattoz night after night. Now that Massilia fell, the Avernni economy lies there in the mud with broken neck and no Corpulentus will ever appear to change things to the better. Or, as a brovoistic druid summarized lately, before vanishing into the night: „We put our bets on the wrong hippopotamus. See you next year in Gawajam Hattoz“
-Into summer: A small Borvistic exploration gang is expelled from what's left of the once deep Arvian forests.
-Into autum: A young roman nobleman appears at the gates of Vesontio, to annonce the order of a serious tribute demand, which Scipio espects of the client kingdom as a kind of warm welcome-gift for himself. It's Gallus Gallicus, the man of the future, whose name sounds a bit threatening to the long-time-clients of the SPQR.
-Into winter: Gallicus disappears with huge amount of Avernian denarii.

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Roman heir ante portas in the tiny Avernian kingdom.

Into the future: If Roma wins the war, and Avernia does not run out of money, there may be a modest kind of future. If not, then not.


Dwarf-Federation

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New Dwarfmaster Spargapeithes per Dokidava

Into spring: A new national celebration day is established in the dwarflands: „Mantios Thisbios fell down on his knees / Trouble's now in hades and on earth is peace / Manthios Thisbios fell down on his face / hey, world's now a better dwarfmen's place“ Yes, dwarfish poetry is for shure not the most skillful in the world, but the Manthios-Thisbios-day was really heavyly celebrated in the dwarflands, which lately became a true barbarian superpower, extending as far as the northern sea. At the peak of the party, brandnew dwarfmaster Spargapeithes had a hallocinogen-beer-inducated vision of worldwide dwarfdom and himself trampeling down the wonderous temple of Pallas Athene in Athenai, which he colorfully described in a speach in Ak-Inkh. So the appearance of Thisbios' son ahead of a strong Koinon army did not bother the Getans too serious.
-Into summer: A great dwarf gathering is held near Singidunum. Thus is the „big month of getting sober“, which was ordered by Dwarfmaster Spargapeithes in a bad mood after awakening kind of worn out due to the celebrations of Manthios-Thisbios-day.
-Into autum: And really: In autum, the sobered dwarfs go into attack-mode again. A gang of daring trolls lais siege among Tylis, hoping to loot this rich and civilized Koinon-polis. Meanwhile a skilled dwarfchief with a horde of about 2500 tiny screaming wildmen attacks Euneos Thisbios, who violates the dwarflands in the footsteps of his fabulous father. (For a report of the tremendous failure of this attempt, wait for the Koinon-centered Epilogue of this update)

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Dwarf-attempt on Tylis

-Into winter: Another attack on the new Thisbios failed. But the son of the now buried dwarf nemesis is delayed now on helping out rich Tylis so Spargapeithes plan may succeed.
-Into the future: Dwarflands are already too deep and wild to be a worthy goal for the Koinon Hellenon. So, if the dwarfes manage to collaborate with the Aedui, they could gain a fat peace of the roman cake, operation out of the safety of their wilderness. If not, they are likely to go on with their hidden and misterious lifestyle for ever, fighting against the Thisbii and trying out every mushroom they can get hold on.

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Gang of dwarfes roaming around with joy in the middle of their wilderness.



Casse

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Casse King Caratawc dyn Ballii

Into spring: Things in the Casse County are stable as the used to be. Bad for King Caratawc and his noblemen, who trample eachothers feet in Cassemorg, desperately trying to chase away boredom by beating up eachother and playing a primitive form of chess (King and pawns only). Good for the rest of the islanders, who spend their golden days in a unique paradise for independent people.
-Into summer: „We are wild, we are free, we're britains eleutheroi!!“ Sometimes this awful song is even to be heard on the streets of Cassemorg, but not often, because King Caratawc has forbidden it by death penalty.
Into autum: But even his little grandchildren continuously sing the song. Luckily they are not yet old enough for punishment.
Into winter: But not too old to be beaten up!
Into the future: Peacful life will probably go on until the Koinon Hellenon decides to invade the island.

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The lands the Casse could have conquered


Sweboz

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Swebic King Harjaz

Into spring: The Sweboz Empire went to a dreadful period lately. A few years ago, civil revolts added Gawjam Habbukoz, Gawjam Heruskoz and Gawjam Hattoz to the forester empire, and an uprise finally seemed to be possible. But the lands were spammed by Aeduan and Roman forces, and as Harjaz, the young Swebic king, is not the smartest and most expierienced man around, everthing fell apart again quickly. Lucky were the people of Gawjam Hattoz, who are now witnessing the uprise of a new way of barbarian lifestyle under the supervision of brave Borvo. But poor Heruskoz and Habbukoz, who fell under the bloodstained claws of Scipian bitterness and cruelity. Now the staus quo is established once more. When will King Harjaz find a sufficient answer to this injuries and humiliations?
-Into summer: He may, but not this summer.
-Into autum: „Strict neutrality“, said King Harjaz lately, „is our only chance to survive this chaos arising at our borders. So, nobody move, nobody get hurt.“
-Into winter: Ooops! Roma ante portas!

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Danger comes into the lands of the foresters

Into the future: Captured between the dwarfes and the SPQR, the situation of the Swebic confederation is nearly hopeless. Maybe, if King Harjaz winds up to choose the Avernian way, survival could be possible, but I'm afraid, old Scipio will not submit to such speculations.


So that was that. Watch out for the second part of the update, which will be about the developments in the Southeast of the world according to the Koinon Hellenon and wich which will hopefully come tomorrow.

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Greetings also from Koinon-General Syrios, who is in Charge of the impertinent Hayasdan in another part of the world

Hope you enjoyed, your Quirinus Kuhlmann

Yay!!! EB's most insane AAR is back! (insane is a complement from me, btw) I can't wait to get some time to read it QK. :2thumbsup:

What to say, only 3 words come to my mind: Totaly awsom Dude!

Marvellous! But, to put a damper on everyone's mood, it's the before last episode of TWAK.

Great AAR as always!:2thumbsup:

Thank you guys and see you tomorrow!

:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: Itchy Dwarfs!!! Corpulentus falling thru a bridge!!! LOL! If i'm in a bad mood TWAK always cheers me up. I'll miss this AAR~:(

Another nice update :bow:

Wow. What more can be said? Or maybe, a lot more can be said but it would be unnecessary as words can't do this justice.

Hm. Anyhoo, great stuff Q, thank you for bringing this to us. :applause:

I'm very glad to see all of you here again after such a long break. I wish you a happy eastern by the way, whereever you may be situated in this world. In a minute comes the second part.

Cut 7: The long farewell / Pt. II: The Southeast

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Map of the Southeast

Former Ptolemaic Empire

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Pharao Stasitimos Philadelphios

Into spring: „Oh the shame“, could one cry out watching the broken pieces of the once mighty Ptolemaian Empire. Exhausted by decades of war against the Arche, the mighty Pharaones finally could not prevent the Koinon Hellenon intruders from invading the Ptolemaian Heartlands from north and south. Now the meditarean coast ist lost and the Empire is split into four pathetic enclaves. Disappointing was also the reaction of the Egyptian, Judean and Syrian folks, who used to be subjects of the divine Pharao and who basically don't care too much about what kind of arrogant greeks they are ruled by. But although Pharao Stasitimos seems to be the leader of a crumbled structure of ruins, he decided not to give in, gathered a band of desperate heroes near Bostra and promised at the pyramids of his ancestors, to put a quick but painful end to Koinons Soson Lacedaimonos by throwing him beyond the same crocodiles, to whom his worthless father was a tasty snack a few years ago.
-Into summer: The Pharao decides to wait for some big mistake, which this stupid and unexpierienced Soson will shurely make in the near future.
-Into autum: But what endless humiliation is that. Considering the mighty forces of Soson appearing near Bostra, Pharao Stasitimos decides to retreat to Palmyria, leaving Bostra nearly helpless in the claws of the spartian monster.
-Into winter: A desperate attempt is made at besieged Hibis in the deserts near the nile. Brave General Ieropadides sallys against the troops of the besieging minor Koinon-General. In glory, the Empire decends, at least in this part of the world. Hibis is lost to the Koinon.

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Suicidal sally near Hibis

Back in Syria, young Asandros Rhakotidios can not believe, that his Pharao dumped him in Bostra, to become the victim of evil Soson Lacedaimonios. But alas, it's true.

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In dishonour, the Empire crumbles in this part of the world.

Into the future: The future of the Ptolemaian empire will be a precarious existence as a puffer state between the Koinon Hellenon and the Qartadast. The future of Pharao Stasitiomos is to be constantly and violently beaten up by his angry ancestors in his afterlife within the deep tombs of their pyramids.


The Arche Seleukeia

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Archont Appoloniketes

Into spring: Mighty and undestroyable stands the Arche Seleukeia, as if she was built to last until eternity. The Koinon invasion out of Asia Minor was successfully stopped at Karkathiokerta, and though Damaskos is in danger now, it is strongly guarded and hopefully will be defended too. In Arabia, Seleucid invasion-troops managed to reach the heartlands of the mysterious Sabyn Jau, defeating them heroicly near Carna. If Appoloniketes decides to reinforce this expedition, the profitable incense trade will soon be in archo-greek hands, while these annoying Watar Ill Watars will get new jobs as plantation workers, harnish-polishers and folklore-dancers.
-Into summer: Mighty and undestroyable stands the Arche, but now without the enclave of Damaskos. Brave Patrokes Ornithopoleos, in his rage against the Koinon had decided to sally, and suffered a heroic death from the hands of the Koinon heir. Now the unhappy people of Damaskos are enslaved, and revenge will come soon and be sweet. Sweet as the smell of finest Sabyn Jau incense.
-Into Autum: But the siege of Edessa, which has also be set in summer, has not been broken yet, and may turn out as a success, which could start a revenge campain.

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The Arche besieges Edessa

-Into winter: Far away in Arabia a Sabyn village is conquered. But this fact would not cheer up the Archont, if he'd be aware of it by now. (He's not due to bad roads and naive messengers, that are constantly lured into the desert by djinns) At Edessa, the Arche suffered the most pathetic defeat since the loss of Antichia. Two entire armys, one led by a General, whose name is now eradicated out of history-papyrii, attacked a leaderless Koinon reinforement army, which aimed to help out the Edessa garrison. Kataphractoi were slaughtered by archers. Good it had been many archers, but...simply inecusable. Appoloniketes locks himself into his room and will not come out all day, as he always does in such circumstances.

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The crushing defeat of the year

-Into the future: Desipte the bad news from Edessa, the Arche is still one of the worlds superpowers, sucessfully expanding in arabia and threatening the Koinon with huge armys in Syria. Her traditional foe, the Pharaonics, are crumbled and the new enemy will have a hard and bloodstained time with the mighty sucessor-empire.



As Sabyn wal'Jau

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Sabyn Heir Alhan Yuha'man

Into spring: Unwelcome tasks emerged lately for the Sabyn Heir Alhan: The King is missing (to be honest, I couldn't find him on the map, as hard as I tried) and now young Alhan is left alone to deal with the constant archo-greek intrusions into the very heart of the Sabyn Jau Empire. A few years ago, those unstoppable phalangites even managed to conquer the town of Carna and had to be thrown out at incredible costs and losses. Now one of their armys is roaming the lands and who knows, what these merciless agressors will send into the beautiful desert lands next. If only the King were there. But he simply vanished. Noone knows, where he is. Was he abducted, did he get lost in the desert, lured inside by a hostile djinn? Or did he simply....flee? Alhan Yuha'man does not know, nor do his friends and subjects, and so it's up to him to save the Sabyn Homelands from danger, imperialism and phoney greek lifestyle.
-Into summer: Summer is beyond the doors, but where is the King?
-Into autum: Now Jau defense against the Arche is organised without his help.

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Jau Mainlands in autum 202

-Into winter: But it's not organised well, as it seems. A worthless guy with an offending name (Seleukos Syriakos) dared to conquer the town of Sabata. It seems, that Alhan had forgotten to order the building of walls around that precious settlement. So the patience of the Sabyn nobles has run drie as a desert wahdi now and Alhan is disinherited. New king Nasha Karab Awtha will shure do better in pushing out those freaky g(r)eeks out of Sabyn homelands.

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The situation in winter, as precarious as it is

-Into the future: The Sabyn Jau are in real danger, but due to the notorious clumsiness of the Arche they have a real chance. Seleukos Syriakos must be pushed into the dust at any means necessary, and the Jau are back into the game. Otherwise their nobility is likely to be emploid as skillful plantation workers and folklore-dancers in the near future. And the wages will be really low.


So this was that. Whatch out for part three, which will be about the northeastern plains of the world according to the Koinon Hellenon and which will hopefully come tomorrow.

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Even the hardboiled Hayasdan-slaughterer General Syrios seems to be sad, that the end of this story comes nearer each day...

Yours Quirinus Kuhlmann

Cut 7: The long farewell // Pt. III: The northern plains

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Map of the Northeast

Bactria

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King Biton Gabaios

Into spring: The bactrian attempt, to wipe nomadian lifestyle off the face of the world, turned out to be a complete failure lately. Though the military superiority of the blue wasteland-intruders was and still is doubtless, one of the conquered Sauromatean villages after the other revolted with rage and success and by now, all western wastelands beyond the former Pahlavii border are Sauromateian again. Lost Bactrian armys stuble throughout the plains with no idea where to go and what to do next. So the new King Biton Gabaios, who is not so deeply interested in nomadism as his notorious predecessor (who by the way was killed by an arrow out of nowhere in the pahalavian plains), thinks seriously about a different option of expanding his empire.
-into summer: It's the option „Arche“, that Biton thinks about. So he orders a minor general to cross the long border in order to tease the giant a little bit.

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Bactrian General, teasing the Arche at Phrophtasia

-Into autum: But as always in history, Arche stays patiently peaceful.
-Into winter: And so the huge Bactrian armys still stumble upon the wastelands, sometimes threatened and fooled by a kind of mysterious ghost, who, as they considered with fear, also has found a suitable animal to ride on lately.

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The mysterious ghost haunting a Bactrian „peacekeeping-force“

Into the future: If the Bactrians would leave the wastelands as wasted as they are and finally would dare to threaten the Arche, success and luck could return to them and also the strange elephant-ghost could maybe decide, that it's time for him to rest in peace.


The Saka Rauka

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Saka-Chief Gobuzan

While spending his best years in a reservation, closely watched by a hostile, deep-blue superpower, Saka-Chief Gobuzan winds up drinking a little bit too much blueberry-booze and playing the steppe-lyra in an unusal new way. At night his rough but sensitive voice can be heard around the yurtes of the Saka-tribe:
„That was written by Hank Williams....I'm a rolling stone / all alone and lost / for a live of sin / I paid the cost / And when I pass by / all the people say: / just another guy / on the lost highway...“
„Written by whom?? And what, in the name of the holy steppe-rabbit, is a highway?“, his wife asks herself, but then the sheer beauty of her husbands voice makes her fall into a peaceful and refreshing yurte-sleep again.
-Into summer: „I fell into a burning steppe-rabbit / shure I tried to get it, yeah I tried to grab it / but it burned, burned, burned / that steppe-rabbit / that steppe-rabbit“ „Now i dig, what he's up to“, mubles Gobuzans wife in her tent and gladly falls asleep again, while the sweet voice of her husband caresses the plains one more night.
-Into autum: As autum comes, Gobuzan stops singing, and, to the worries of his wife, starts to turn out strangely calm and somehow haunted.
-Into winter: „Oh, the rabbit, oh the rabbit, flee, you noble Saka men and women, as the rabbit is on the loose!“ These were the last word's of King Gobuzan, before he vanished into the endless wastelands for ever. „What could I do?“, asks his wife often lately, and: „Nothing at all“, is the frequent answer she gives to herself.

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Gobuzans vision of the evil steppe-rabbit

Into the future: „Well I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer!! / The future's uncertain and the end is always near..“ Kind of that stuff...

The Sauromateans

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Sauromatean Chief Tiagaros

The Sauromatean people went through a hard time full of cruelety and murder lately. But, though their armys are traditionally weak, they proudly proved to be absolutely ungouvernable by any hellenistic power. That might have something to do with a certain clandestine cult related with a fearceful wasteland-wheatherghost called Thruxra the phalavian Elephant-man, which is now widely spread upon the Sauromatean people. But maybe they are also simply stubborn and pigheaded like hell. Not only Chief Tiagaros is very proud of that fact.
-Into summer: And proud he stays.
-Into autum: Another Bactrian intrusion is reported to the king.
-Into winter: A strange multicultural gathering takes place in the snowy plains of the Sauromatean wastelands. Two Sauromatean noblemen and three Roman diplomats, two of them obviously renegates. The king is not invited. The gods probably know, what these guys are talking about.

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The strange meeting

Into the future: The wild hordes of the steppe will probably stay there for the next decades, and no blue stacks will change that fact. They will be safe in their splendid stubbornism and they will organise strange meetings with micplaced diplomats, and why shouldn't they?

The Hayasdan

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Hay-king Armenak

Into spring: „By the beard of Mher the Lame, it's a constant shame!“ cried out King Armenaks Minister of foreign affairs, regarding to the Koinon Hellenon, refusig to retreat from Kotais, which belongs to the Hayasdan by tradition and divine law. And the minister is right. But though Armenak nods and orders the next band of Hay-deperados to reconquer the town, things are unlikely to change. So grim patience is a virtue, which is now needed in the Hayasdan realms.
-Into summer: But grim patience is not a virtue of Hay-King Armenak. So another siege is laid upon Kotais and another desperate attack is put upon this extremely annoinig Koinon veteran-horse-archer-army guarding the borders, which results in another crushing defeat for the Hayasdan. So again it's time for: „By the beard of Mher, the Lame, it's constant shame!“

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Hay-attempt on Kotais

-Into autum: The news, that a Koinon punishment-expedition is spottet on the road to Mtskheta does not cheer up the general mood in the Hay-Headquarter.
-Into winter: It's Syrios the slaughterer with his horse archers, who arrived at the walls of Mtskheta, where King Armenak currently spends his winter-holidays. This can not be beared! So every Hay-Army nearby comes running fierceful to save the life of Armenak.

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The lifesavers in attack-mode

But the rescue failes, Armenak suffered a heroic death and Mtskheta now is in the claws of the Koinon Hellenon.

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Bury my brain on top of the mountain.


Into the future: If the Hayasdan would stop their constant itchy attacks, Koinon rulers could be convinced of the possibility, that the Hay would make a tiny nice klient kingdom to the emerging superpower. But as those mountaineers are wild and free, they will probably have to suffer until their end, which seems to be nearby.


That was the main part of this last update. Watch out for the Epilogue about the Koinon Hellenon, wich will finally be the end of this story.

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Impressions from the dwarflands


Hope you enjoyed, Quirinus Kuhlmann

:applause:
...I can't look at the Getai with a straight face now. :sweatdrop:

Well, that's allright, because those itchy dwarfs refuse to look at you with a straight face.

if theres an award for best aar ever then u deserve it... and if there isnt 1 than they need 2 make u one :turtle: best one ive read.. :applause:

Thank you pockettank! I'm glad and also a little bit sad, that the end of this story is ready to be posted in a minuite. But also I'm looking forward to finally try out the 0.81!!!

So at least here it is: The final update of the final update:

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The world according to the Koinon Hellenon, cut 7:

Final epilogue: The deeds of the Koinon Hellenon in this final year of 202:

Spring: In spring 202 the tension between Koinon Heir Hagasidamos Hypertyleatos and his brave challenger Soson grows constantly. The Heir besieges Damaskos, Soson sits in freshly conquered Jerusalem and eagerly awaits the arrival of another young son of Manthios Thisbios, Herakleias, who will take over his place as gouvernour and free him for his quest against the ptolemaian Pharao.

-into Summer: Hail Hyperteleatos. The Seleukids in damaskos pathetically sallied, and were defeated by our brave heir. Damaskos now is in the hands of the Koinon.

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The famous battle of Damaskos.

Near Kotais, where our King in his unexplorable moods has chosen to spend his last years, the impertinent Hayasdan strike again, but are defeated heroicly by our brave veteran-horse-archers under the supervision of General Syrios. Nevertheless, Kotais is besieged by them one more time. Maybe a punishment-expedition would be a nice adventure to our bored King for a change.

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Another heroic victory for Eulaios Syrios and his fabulous horse-archers.

-Summer: Syria: After the arrival of the young Heraklieas Thisbios, Soson leaves the metropolis Jerusalem in the hands of that incompetent youngster and entries Ptolemaian territory with nearly no fear, aiming to lure the Pharao himself into attacking him.
Meanwhile in Asia-Minor, brave Syrios breaks the siege of Kotais. The King anyway perfers not to join the inevitable punishment-expedition, so Syrios has to lead this project on his own.

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The Syrian situation with the two throne competitors, the Pharao and young Herakleias Thisbios in charge of Jerusalem

-Autum: Brave Koinon border-wachdog Euneos Thisbios now receives his first heavy task in following his father as the main Koinon-dwarf-desintegrator. Near the border, he is attacked by a outnumbering gang of unscilled-forest-stinkfoots under the rule of a wicked dwarfchief. Thisbios turns out to pass this exam summa cum laude.

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The new dwarf-desintegrator at work

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Before...

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.... and after

At the end of the season, Koinon Hellenon is on the attack in several parts of the world: Soson reaches and besieges the walls of Bostra, which is cowardly left alone by the worthless pharao. A minour General called Menelaos Aithalidois besieges Hibis, another Ptolemaian settlement in the nile-valley, completing a plan, old King Haimon himself had followed shortly before his tragical crocodile-accident. To make things complete, brave General Syrios has led a sincerely neccessary Hayasdan punishment-expedition to the walls of Mtskheta. „I can't figure out the pronounciation of this pretty litte town“, he tells his soldiers, „but we're gonna punish it anyway.“

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Koinon sieges everywhere

Winter: Two of the three besieged settlements sallied in vain: Hibis is now in the hands of brave Menelaos, and the people there seem to be quite cool with that fact. „Greeks“, the say, „are greeks. Arrogant, moody and strangely perfumed, shure, but we always were ruled by greeks, and if you let them their will, life here in the nile valley goes on like it ever did, and that's not the worst of it, am I right or am I right. Sent my son to the new gymnasion lately by the way, and he's doing quite well..“
But in freshly conquered Mtskheta things are different: „By the beard of Mher, the Lame“, people whisper in rage, „this perverted Syrios will meet his fate one day. It's just 'slaughtering the slaughterer', as my uncle claimed lately at our clandestine Hayasdan revolutionary volunteer-meeting“
Anyway, the Koinon is on the rise.

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Brave Koinon-troops awaiting the sally of Hibis under the palm trees of the Pharao

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Thus the Ptolemaian glory crumbles

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Minor-asian Javelieros at work for Syrios the slaughterer


At the walls of Bostra the siege lingered on, until our eager throne-approacher Soson of the Lacedaimonians, son of famous King Haimon, ordered the final attack. Defender Asandros Rhakotidos, who was dumped by his Pharao so inexcusable, had to make a happy face in a wicked game, as we use to say in Germany. Now he's preparing to defend his hometown against the highly overpowered Koinon-invaders in that battle of Bostra, which would stay unreported, if it would not be reported here:

The battle of Bostra

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Soson, watching the town of Bostra from a hill with pleasure, anticipating the battle (and the crown), while Asandros does not anticipate anything at all

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„Hup ho!“ screamed Soson, and so the battle begins

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The wooden walls are smashed. Some of the defenders are skilled and brave...

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..some are only brave

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The great son of a great hero approaches Bostra on the back of his beloved great horse

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On the main road, Asandros calls his men to the counter-attack after having performed a brainshaking speech.

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And Asandros fights, like he never fought before...

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And Asandros dies, well, he also never died before...

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....desperate resistance continues...

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...but not for long...

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...and so the rough chants of the Koinon soldiers one more time are chanted throughout a once ptolemaian main square, and the peple of one more ptolemaian town silently start to wonder, in wich Koinon household, silver mine or folklore dance-groop they will be employed (with low wages) in the near future...

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..and the glorious Soson Lacedaimonios is at least a little bit more glorious and also a little bit more wealthy than before.


When Hagasidamos Hypertyleatos heard about that battle, he ran his fingers through his mighty grey beard and said: „Mmmh, mmmh, that little Soson....not bad indeed....almost quite.....good. Not to compare, of course, with the famous battle of Damaskos..“
The Pharao in Palmyria refused to make a statement and concentrated on supervising the building site of his very own tiny pyramid.
And the Koinon King didn't notice...


So, what's been to be told has been told. Now it's time to say goodbye to a flock of great men full of virtue and unforgettable glory:

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Time to say goodbye to the heroes of the Koinon Hellenon, here gathered in front of our beautiful capital Athenai


Also it's time say goodbye to a flock of great men full of itchy wickedness and unforgettable counter-glory:

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Time to say goodbye to the favourite enemys of the Koinon Hellenon, here gathered in front of the rebellious town of Mtskheta (featuring also Aemulius Favonius Corpulentus „Augustus“, who never fought the Koinon but who is of course unforgettable in his own way).

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Ateanai, the great and mighty metropolis of fruitful trade

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The world according to the Koinon Hellenon in winter 202


So, my dear readers: It's done, when it's done. Now it's done!

Thank you so much for following this experiment, which would have been senseless without you, and see you soon in another world,

your's sincerely Quirinus Kuhlmann

A good read as ever. Looking forward to your next AAR.

How sad. It's finally over.:shame: I hope you are planning on doing more AARs, QK.

A dam, I am going to miss this, great AAR - one of the best.
Thank zou for all that beatiful reading, and good luck in any future project you may make (hopfuly). :2thumbsup: :2thumbsup:

Pity it's finished. Superb AAR. Magnificent. A work of art.
Enjoy 0.81.

Thank you all for your positive reaction. It's the thing, that makes one go on with the storytelling. Though it's kind of sad, that this story now has come to an end, I feel great relief too, because finally I brought it to an end. The idea of following every faction in the game seemed suitable in the beginning, but as the Koinon grew and I got deeper into roleplaying the characters and manufacturing the screenshots, the updates started to take more and more time. On this last one I worked constantly from tuesday to sunday. If I would go on, the updates would come out very seldom, because I simply can't affort that much time.
But nevertheless I licked blood according to this unusulal and completly new form of literature and so I will start something else for shure, but it will be something with a more straight storyline. Maybe not as straight as the wonderful one of Count Arrach, which I'm currently reading with lots of pleasure, but a straight one without turning off the fow and without changing the narrative perspective for about 15 times per update. (And, by the way, with better screenshot from the start)
So, now I'm going to fool arount with the different factions of 0.81 for a while. A happy easter to you all.

~:thumb:

great aar im sad it has to end but i just downloaded EB and gotta say its awsome i was gonna play as KH but after reading this i went with epirus cuz it just didnt feel right after this and also when u showed the enemys of the KH u should have added Thruxra just since hes so infamous with Baktria but again this aar gets :2thumbsup:

Ludens: Thank you!
pockettank: Yes, you're right, Thruxra should have been added, athough he kind of survived as the Elephant-ghoust haunting the Bactrians in the wastelands....
I wish you lots of fun with EB and good luck with your Epirotean Campaign. Maybe in early game you'll met the grandfather and great-grantfather of Haimon Lacedaimonios. Then be careful, because these are really hardboiled guys....

It's over. :sweatdrop: Dammit. Enjoy 0.81. and Good Luck with your next AAR. This one was epic. :2thumbsup:

Truly a fun (and fine) AAR. :thumbsup:

I came to it fairly late (since I'm only a couple of weeks into EB), but it does stand out as exemplar of what an AAR can be.

:rtwyes:
Yes, very good as always, Quirinus. Although I quite didn't understand the concept of Borvonism so far... or was it just about having the largest mustache?

You could make a Saba AAR, that would be nice.:yes:

I can't look at another faction in EB without laughing exspecially the Saka, Getai, and the Romani. If there was a hall of fame for AAR's i'd put you in it. I,ll miss this AAR lets hope you start a new one soon. This ending is Bitter sweet.