News of the Weird

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Originally Posted by Ser Clegane

Mother sent stripper to schoolboy's classroom as birthday treat

:2thumbsup:

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I just read that in The Times. Hilarious. :laugh4:

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Originally Posted by Ser Clegane

Mother sent stripper to schoolboy's classroom as birthday treat

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This happened in Naughtyngham?:belly:

:laugh4:

What I don't get though is that the boy is supposedly in trouble.
Do they mean that he has overpressure now or does anyone blame him for the incident? :inquisitive:

What more can they do to him? He's already got a spanking. :laugh4:

I always knew my parents were holding out on me!!!:wall:

:laugh4:

Man Repeatedly calls 911 to Demand Beer Delivery

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It may have seemed like an emergency at the time, but a Connecticut man is now regretting his call to 911.

35-year-old Brian Poulin of Hebron was arrested Sunday after police said he called 911 several times and asked them to bring him beer.

Hebron was charged with disorderly conduct.

Police said he called 911 numerous times and told the dispatcher he was out of beer and asked them to pick up more for him.

Poulin was transported to Windham Community Memorial Hospital after officers arrested him at his home.

Police did not say what he was treated for.

He is scheduled to appear in Superior Court in Rockville on Nov. 20.

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:laugh4:

That happened on a Sunday. He obviously ran out during the football game, I'd say it classifies as an emergency. ~D

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Originally Posted by drone

That happened on a Sunday. He obviously ran out during the football game, I'd say it classifies as an emergency. ~D

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He ran out of beer watching the kevlar-armoured dancers? Now I do call that an emergency myself. No beer = nothing to do.

LOL whacky arabs, fatwa on camel beauty contest :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

Edited to add story link: Here. ~Kukri

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Originally Posted by drone

That happened on a Sunday. He obviously ran out during the football game, I'd say it classifies as an emergency. ~D

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No beer for the game?!?! that IS an emergency!!:help:

(except for volleyball and soccer vodka will have to doze me outta that one)

Ferret Waste: Our New Weapon in the War on Drugs.

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"Ferret waste, like nearly any other form of pet waste, can be effectively used to help prevent the abuse of unused prescription drugs," SAMHSA [Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration] spokesman Mark Weber said.

This news delighted the American Ferret Association.

"The U.S. government declares ferret poop to be an effective weapon against drug abuse," the group said in a statement.

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http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071107/..._uk_drugs_poop

CR

A nut with a gun and nuts
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7091904.stm

"A US man has injured himself in both legs after attempting to loosen a stiff wheel-nut by blasting it with his gun."

yup...sounds like a fool-proof plan to me Billy Bob! :laugh4:

Paris Hilton Raises awareness about Drunk Elephants

Bank worker busted on Facebook dressed as fairy

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"Something came up at home and I had to go to New York this morning," Mr Colvin wrote on the afternoon of October 31, the day of the party.

The Facebook pictures were uncovered the following day by co-workers, showing Mr Colvin in a neon fairy costume, with a beer in one hand and a "magic wand" in the other.

When Mr Colvin's boss, Paul Davis, replied to the email, he copied the entire office.

"Thanks for letting us know - hope everything is ok in New York," he wrote. "Cool wand."

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Hehehehe

I guess it was inevitable after the goat bride. Man marries dog.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...-dog-bride.jpg

Man in India marries dog as atonement

Tue Nov 13, 4:56 PM ET

NEW DELHI - A man in southern India married a female dog in a traditional Hindu ceremony as an attempt to atone for stoning two other dogs to death — an act he believes cursed him — a newspaper reported Tuesday.

P. Selvakumar married the sari-draped former stray named Selvi, chosen by family members and then bathed and clothed for the ceremony Sunday at a Hindu temple in the southern state of Tamil Nadu, the Hindustan Times newspaper said.

Selvakumar, 33, told the paper he had been suffering since he stoned two dogs to death and hung their bodies from a tree 15 years ago.

"After that my legs and hands got paralyzed and I lost hearing in one ear," he said in the report.

The paper said an astrologer had told Selvakumar the wedding was the only way he could cure the maladies. It did not say whether his situation had improved.

Deeply superstitious people in rural India sometimes organize weddings to dogs and other animals, believing it can ward off certain curses.

The paper showed a picture of Selvakumar sitting next to the dog, which was wearing an orange sari and a flower garland.

The paper said the groom and his family then had a feast, while the dog got a bun.

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Originally Posted by Lemur

I guess it was inevitable after the goat bride. Man marries dog.

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I think we know who's gonna wear the collar in that family. :laugh4:

For want of a better place to post in the Backroom.

Who's making your neighbourhood safer - Hampshire police.

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Originally Posted by Pannonian

For want of a better place to post in the Backroom.

Who's making your neighbourhood safer - Hampshire police.

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Good grief they have a van from 91/2, I wonder if they'r e illegals. After all there's only about 10 grand guarding us. :dizzy2: :laugh4:

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Good grief they have a van from 91/2

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It is a bus .

God help you if they are the fittest police they could find... or the best looking if they don't have any fit ones.

Not to flog the obvious, but I think the point of that pikkie is the suggestive placement of the exhaust pipe.

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Originally Posted by Tribesman

A nut with a gun and nuts
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7091904.stm

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Well maybe he was drunk...

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The man - who police say was on his own and not intoxicated - was taken to hospital with severe, but not life-threatening, injuries.

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:laugh4:

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Originally Posted by Lemur

Not to flog the obvious, but I think the point of that pikkie is the suggestive placement of the exhaust pipe.

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Oh, didn't notice that before. :laugh4:

But I noticed what Pape says. :sweatdrop:

Censorship at it's best: Santa's "Ho, ho, ho" politically incorrect.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Santa ho,ho,ho gets heave-ho

THERE'LL be no ho, ho, ho this Christmas. Aspiring Santas have been told not to use the term "ho" because it could be seen as derogatory to women.

Thirty trainees at a Santa course in Adelaide last month, held by recruitment company Westaff, were urged to replace the traditional festive greeting with "ha, ha, ha".

A Santa veteran of 11 years who attended the course said the trainer was very clear in spelling out no to "ho".

Two Santa hopefuls reportedly left the course after the trainer's edict.

The term "ho" is also American slang for a prostitute. "We were told it was a derogatory term for females and can upset people," said the Santa, who did not want to be identified.

"As far as I'm concerned, a hoe is something you dig the ground with.

"I don't think you'll hear too many Santas saying `ha, ha, ha'."

University of South Australia communications senior lecturer Dr Jackie Cook said any banning of "ho, ho, ho" was "nonsense".

"Can we use a garden hoe anymore? Do we have to remove that?" she said.

"Ho, ho, ho from Santa is going to be everywhere. It's going to be in books, on Christmas cards and kids are going to come across it sooner or later.

"You could say that `ha, ha, ha' was dangerous because it was always tied to the villains in movies and horror films."

Family First MLC Dennis Hood described the "ho ho ho" ban as "plain madness".

"There is nothing wrong with `ho ho ho'," he said.

"That term has been used for many years and it hasn't seemed to have done any harm at all.

"This term would be of no offence to anyone at all, it is just the politically correct police trying to impose their views on society."

Westaff is the nation's largest supplier of Santa Clauses, providing more than 550 nationally. It has 60 on its books in South Australia. This year, it has won the lucrative contract to supply Santas at David Jones' Magic Cave in Rundle Mall.

Westaff national operations manager Glen Jansz said the company's Santas had been urged to "tone down" their use of the "ho, ho, ho" phrase – but he said it wasn't for fear of offending women.

"The reason behind that is we find that in some cases the little kids can get a little bit scared of the deep ho, ho, hos and we ask them to be mindful of keeping their voices to a lower level," he said.

"And kids are probably more inclined to understand `ha, ha, ha', than `ho, ho, ho'."

When Santa arrived at the Magic Cave after yesterday's Christmas Pageant, his only greeting to a crowd of hundreds of children was a wave and "Merry Christmas".

"I can say anything I like," he said.

The `ho, ho, ho' edict came as Santa's working conditions were also revealed. The Sunday Mail has obtained a copy of Westaff's "Santa Project" Australian Workplace Agreement.

The 15-page document stipulates, in part, that Santa will:

WORK on a casual basis and earn a base rate of $20.50 an hour.

GET a 10-minute paid toilet break during a four-hour shift and a 30 minute unpaid meal break if working 5.5 hours or longer.

BE AVAILABLE to work at any time on any day for the six weeks leading up to Christmas.

He must also maintain character at all times so as "not to raise any questions or complaints" from customers. His uniform and accessories must always be presentable.

Mr Jansz said the AWA passed the Federal Government's Fairness Test.

Ha, ha, ha... :wall:

EDIT:

Ahem...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Ho

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Ho

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Ho

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

https://i156.photobucket.com/albums/...ing/Hohoho.jpg
:sweatdrop:

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Originally Posted by Andres

Censorship at it's best: Santa's "Ho, ho, ho" politically incorrect.

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:wall: is right Andres. Context folks!! Context!

Ho ho ho.

I'm teh realz gh3tt0 g4ngst4 now, rightz?

Fier me wiminz, fier m3. :dizzy2:

Eh, I mean kids. :juggle2:

Welcome in Absurdistan

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Swiss tell German guy to learn German

A 70-year old German seeking Swiss citizenship was told to go back to school to learn his own native tongue despite being proficient in German, a Swiss newspaper said.

The Swiss town of Dielsdorf ordered Ulrich Kring -- who lived in Switzerland his entire life but is only now applying for citizenship -- to take a German language course to the tune of 250 Swiss francs ($222.6), the Tages-Anzeiger newspaper said.

The class was obligatory for all foreigners seeking a Swiss passport and the town would not make an exception for the German national, the newspaper said.

Kring had lodged an appeal against the decision with a higher local authority, but had not had a reply yet.

Roughly two-thirds of Switzerland's 7.5 million inhabitants are German speakers. Many German nationals find the Swiss spoken dialect hard to understand, although the official written language taught in schools is the same as in Germany.

There is a hot debate about immigration in Switzerland, where some 20 percent of the population are foreigners, and some newspapers have criticized the big influx of immigrants from neighboring Germany.

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Whatever happened to common sense? :bigcry:

Seagull Shoplifter

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...pt/seagull.gif

cheeky bastard!!! :laugh4:

Some birds are smart, especially crows.

And some like to be sure. If you have to kill yourselve, why not cut your own head of with a chainsaw? Only in dutch sorry http://www.nieuwnieuws.nl/archives/r..._met_kett.html