Woman who lied about rape asks for 'bygones to be bygones'

Wrong thread. Drink less thnx

As someone who has been fairly close professionally to incidents of this type on both sides I'd just like to state that I think sometimes too strong is a better way to react to rape accusations than too soft. Rape is underreported far more often than faked. It's a very hard crime to prove and difficult on the victim to admit. I've seen women (and children) whose lives have been destroyed by admitting to being raped. The children get it doubly worse as they're often put right back in the home of the person they accused. Even as someone who's had to take precautions to make sure noone got the wrong idea I'd still rather live in a society that took these accusations too seriously than not enough.

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Originally Posted by Lemur

This is one of those legal areas where I do not believe there is a happy medium. If you come down hard on false accusations, you discourage real victims. If you tilt toward the accuser, you hand a powerful weapon to unbalanced/amoral women. It's an unpleasant bit of business.

I have seen both sides of this (not personally, thank goodness). I've known women who were violated, and I saw a guy get destroyed by a false accusation of rape. I don't see any easy answers.

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Originally Posted by Zim

As someone who has been fairly close professionally to incidents of this type on both sides I'd just like to state that I think sometimes too strong is a better way to react to rape accusations than too soft. Rape is underreported far more often than faked. It's a very hard crime to prove and difficult on the victim to admit. I've seen women (and children) whose lives have been destroyed by admitting to being raped. The children get it doubly worse as they're often put right back in the home of the person they accused. Even as someone who's had to take precautions to make sure noone got the wrong idea I'd still rather live in a society that took these accusations too seriously than not enough.

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Rape is a terrible thing. I agree that in rape accusation should be taken seriously, but not as in insta-guilt as it seems to in recent years, especially when the media gets ahold of it. And this case apparently. Faking it is just as bad, and deserves the same sentence, possibly longer/shorter depending on the .

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Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla

So - back to the kitchen with them, yes? Barefoot, naked and pregnant, right?

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An impossibilty in todays society. Even if they agreed

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Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla

Los Angeles?



I don't buy it - wanting someone dead is the worse part of actually killing them, the intent. What you are expressing is possibly the most harmful of all sentiments - the drive to kill.

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He's saying that if he went to jail for a crime he didn't commit, he would want revenge on the person who was responsible. That's to be expected really, and not quite the same as wishing bad things for someone in normal daily life.

Personally I think that every human being is capable of killing someone given a sufficiently high level of stress. If I had to spend 5 years in jail on a false accusation and the supposed victim said to me "I'm sure we can put this all behind us, mmmmkay?" I'd be pretty darn pissed. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't harm a fly, but after 5 years of unjust incarceration, who knows?

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Originally Posted by Kadagar_AV

Swedish and half Austrian actually...

The throw of the dice gave me the Swedish looks and the Austrian way of skiing. I am utterly blessed, the other way around would have been horrible!!

But back to the point, I do think SFTS's argument holds value. Moderns laws has NOT caught up with the changes we have seen in society at large.

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Ah well you see I am a mix of Swedish, English and Welsh - mostly Sweish looks and general shape, Welsh colouring and English scale.

So - you are likely six inches taller than me.

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

An impossibilty in todays society. Even if they agreed

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What if I can find a woman to come here and agree with me?

Plenty of women will still drop their careers (if they have one) and go provide for a mans domestic needs and be a housewife. In fact a large number are very eager to do so.

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Originally Posted by Gelatinous Cube

It ought to be. Its not just black guys that get this kind of treatment either, the cops and prosecutors treat the entire process like a numbers game. If they they can intimidate you into a confession then it's a wrap, and far more convenient and less time consuming than actually hunting for the truth.

Just another systemic issue in our society that comes from a general lack of ethics and morality. Too few people consider the big picture before they consider their own quotas.

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No, America likes its justice though and dramatic like the Medieval spectator sport. Of course that's not unique to the USA (basic outrage and indignation will do that) but the USA is definitely on the "though" end of the justice scale compared to other Western nations. So as long as you voters approve of a candidate (Perry) with the message "it takes balls to execute an innocent" then that is what you're going to get.

I'm not so sure it is an instant guilty plea. Sexual abuse and assault cases are frequently very difficult to prosecute and victims are frequently raked across the coals during trials.

Being wrongly accused of such a serious crime is terrible, and losing years of your life over it even worse. A penalty for falsely accusing someone is an interesting idea. Most states have some kind of statutes that might apply (misuse of 911, providing false info to a peace officer, etc.) but they're very hard to prove and not often prosecuted. I think the tricky part would be balancing a penalty that would make people think twice about making a false accusation without scaring them from making a true one.

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Originally Posted by Visorslash

Rape is a terrible thing. I agree that in rape accusation should be taken seriously, but not as in insta-guilt as it seems to in recent years, especially when the media gets ahold of it. And this case apparently. Faking it is just as bad, and deserves the same sentence, possibly longer/shorter depending on the .

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Originally Posted by Centurion1

Plenty of women will still drop their careers (if they have one) and go provide for a mans domestic needs and be a housewife. In fact a large number are very eager to do so.

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Many women want to have children and be a mother. The species survives because of this. Not all do, but MOST do.

We can all pretend men and women are exactly the same with a few lumps and bumps different but this is clearly not the case:

• Women are attracted to winners, regardless of looks. Men are attracted to looks over success
• Relationships are more likely to fail where the woman earns more than the man.
• The taller the man, the more attractive. This doesn't hold for women
• Men tend to put their careers first. Women tend to put family time first.
• Women tend to be far more fixated with what they look like with their clothes on. Men are more fixated what women look like with their clothes off
• Women continue to aspire to thrive in roles that have historically been male. Men appear not to care about having roles that tend to be dominated by women
• Women who have many sexual partners are denigrated (especially by other women). Men who do so are more likely to be "studs" or "players". This probably leads to any drunken sex with a Fugly by a man is on balance positive but there is less liklihood a woman will take the same view.

And so on and so on.

~:smoking:

Rory, I really respect your experience and opinions, but

You forgot to put in the bullet point about my exceptionally large penis

Why do you mention differences that seem to be social in nature?

You can do better than this...

These "social" affects are seen throughout the globe in a variety of cultures so it can not be dismissed as "society forcing gender roles". Unless one is going to focus on anatomical differences / biochemical differences or brain scans one is left with what men and women do which is social / behavioural.


The oft repeated studies of pupillary reaction (a surrogate for arousal) when men and women were shown pictures of naked men, naked women and babies. Men reacted almost exclusively to naked women. Women reacted somewhat to naked men, but mainly to babies.

~:smoking:

The thing is, how can you differentiate a product of culture from a presocial 'default'?

You'd need to look at humans grown in laboratories or literally raised by wolves.

But most of your points up there are open to heavy social influence, which makes it even trickier. Clothing and promiscuity are a case in point, though female promiscuity would logically be considered negative if women are like property...

Tallness: how about China? Gender-associated jobs: nurses.

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Originally Posted by Montmorency

The thing is, how can you differentiate a product of culture from a presocial 'default'?

You'd need to look at humans grown in laboratories or literally raised by wolves.

But most of your points up there are open to heavy social influence, which makes it even trickier. Clothing and promiscuity are a case in point, though female promiscuity would logically be considered negative if women are like property...

Tallness: how about China? Gender-associated jobs: nurses.

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Men don't aspire to be Nurses, by and large, and Chinese men only seem short by Western standards.

With that in mind - ever seen what happens when a Western man goes into a club full of chinese women, or Japanese women for that matter?

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Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla

What if I can find a woman to come here and agree with me?

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Originally Posted by Centurion1

Plenty of women will still drop their careers (if they have one) and go provide for a mans domestic needs and be a housewife. In fact a large number are very eager to do so.

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Originally Posted by rory_20_uk

Many women want to have children and be a mother. The species survives because of this. Not all do, but MOST do.

We can all pretend men and women are exactly the same with a few lumps and bumps different but this is clearly not the case:

• Women are attracted to winners, regardless of looks. Men are attracted to looks over success
• Relationships are more likely to fail where the woman earns more than the man.
• The taller the man, the more attractive. This doesn't hold for women
• Men tend to put their careers first. Women tend to put family time first.
• Women tend to be far more fixated with what they look like with their clothes on. Men are more fixated what women look like with their clothes off
• Women continue to aspire to thrive in roles that have historically been male. Men appear not to care about having roles that tend to be dominated by women
• Women who have many sexual partners are denigrated (especially by other women). Men who do so are more likely to be "studs" or "players". This probably leads to any drunken sex with a Fugly by a man is on balance positive but there is less liklihood a woman will take the same view.

And so on and so on.

~:smoking:

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And yet women are gaining college degrees and getting hired at a higher rate.

Keeping in mind that the Western style education favors women and the fact that one would be remiss if they didn't admit biological differences between the sexes it is a fact the world is changing

Maybe I need to start dating different women but off the top of my head I can only think of 1 who had no problem giving up her goals and life to become a homemaker. The rest didn't want kids, wanted to put them off, or inisted it should be a 50-50 split (a sentiment I agree with if the en vouge "partnership" is to last

Women are perfectly capable of getting college degrees. Women are perfectly able of getting to the top of businesses. It is just that most cohort analysis that has been done has found that a significant portion (nay a majority) decide to have a family and thus put their careers on hold.

At Medical School I was surrounded by women who were adamant that careers came first... Right up until the Obs and Gynae course. By the end we had to ensure they wern't taking the babies off the ward...

Most jobs don't split 50-50. You spend a lot of the time catching up with things that happened when you wern't there. Some careers are better at this than others of course. As much as people might like the concept as a theory, they are less thrilled when faced with dealing with two people on an account and the delays that ensue.

So, either both persons need to have jobs that enable thiss job sharing or one has to do the majority of the work whilst the children are young - or just get in some surrogate parents to do it instead and pretend that bonding with one's parents isn't important.

~:smoking:

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Originally Posted by rory_20_uk

Women are perfectly capable of getting college degrees. Women are perfectly able of getting to the top of businesses. It is just that most cohort analysis that has been done has found that a significant portion (nay a majority) decide to have a family and thus put their careers on hold.

At Medical School I was surrounded by women who were adamant that careers came first... Right up until the Obs and Gynae course. By the end we had to ensure they wern't taking the babies off the ward...

Most jobs don't split 50-50. You spend a lot of the time catching up with things that happened when you wern't there. Some careers are better at this than others of course. As much as people might like the concept as a theory, they are less thrilled when faced with dealing with two people on an account and the delays that ensue.

So, either both persons need to have jobs that enable thiss job sharing or one has to do the majority of the work whilst the children are young - or just get in some surrogate parents to do it instead and pretend that bonding with one's parents isn't important.

~:smoking:

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All valid points

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Men don't aspire to be Nurses, by and large, and Chinese men only seem short by Western standards.

With that in mind - ever seen what happens when a Western man goes into a club full of chinese women, or Japanese women for that matter?

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Not really what I was getting at.

Female nurses have only existed for 150 years or so. In China, tallness is a hugely important quality, with many employers or partner-seekers specifying a minimum height for candidates. Men often do want women who are taller than themselves.

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Originally Posted by Montmorency

Not really what I was getting at.

Female nurses have only existed for 150 years or so. In China, tallness is a hugely important quality, with many employers or partner-seekers specifying a minimum height for candidates. Men often do want women who are taller than themselves.

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I disagree I am over 6' tall. Women who are taller than me are either supermodels or trolls.

And yes Phillips fair point about western men in East Asia. Though I would say a lot of the attraction is because of the western aspect, also Asian women and white men are far from a rare occurrence these days.

In response to the OP, jail the bitch.

And Frag, I'd jail you for what you did when you were 16, that's old enough to take responsibility and it doesn't matter if you've changed now, you still did it.

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Originally Posted by Ja'chyra

In response to the OP, jail the bitch.

And Frag, I'd jail you for what you did when you were 16, that's old enough to take responsibility and it doesn't matter if you've changed now, you still did it.

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Was stupid of me to post it here, guess I am still stupid at the age of 35. But it really was an accident it happened in a reflex, and the guy I stabbed never went told the police it was me. We are both cool with it. Village thingie it's just like hooligans you fight other villages for fun.

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Originally Posted by Montmorency

The thing is, how can you differentiate a product of culture from a presocial 'default'?

You'd need to look at humans grown in laboratories or literally raised by wolves.

But most of your points up there are open to heavy social influence, which makes it even trickier. Clothing and promiscuity are a case in point, though female promiscuity would logically be considered negative if women are like property...

Tallness: how about China? Gender-associated jobs: nurses.

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Not just nurses, everything medical. You won't get any respect being a male doctor there.

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

And yet women are gaining college degrees and getting hired at a higher rate.

Keeping in mind that the Western style education favors women and the fact that one would be remiss if they didn't admit biological differences between the sexes it is a fact the world is changing

Maybe I need to start dating different women but off the top of my head I can only think of 1 who had no problem giving up her goals and life to become a homemaker. The rest didn't want kids, wanted to put them off, or inisted it should be a 50-50 split (a sentiment I agree with if the en vouge "partnership" is to last

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You are dating women in their early twenties though, give it a few years.

Beyond that, there is increasing evidence that the reason women "put off" children is that they realise that once they have kids their career is to a greater or lesser degree over even if their job isn't.

I read about an interesting study that looked at the different age groups, their lifestyles and their self-reported happiness. The women of the eighties who aped men in dress and career bath seem to have had less fulfilling lives than their mothers (who were mostly at home) or their daughters (who tended to prioratise family over career).

Beyond that, you have simple economics - a woman gets pregnant and unless she is very lucky that is going to disrupt her career path in itself because of the necessities of her "confinement", it is economically non-sensicale for her mate to then disrupt his career path once the baby is born. The couple have better net-earning power if one puts career on the backburner to look after the children and the other goes for the big job guns blazing.

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Originally Posted by Philipvs Vallindervs Calicvla

You are dating women in their early twenties though, give it a few years.

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ok

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Beyond that, there is increasing evidence that the reason women "put off" children is that they realise that once they have kids their career is to a greater or lesser degree over even if their job isn't.

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The same could be said of men too. It has more to do with the rediculous weight society puts on the career rather than any sort of biological difference.

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I read about an interesting study that looked at the different age groups, their lifestyles and their self-reported happiness. The women of the eighties who aped men in dress and career bath seem to have had less fulfilling lives than their mothers (who were mostly at home) or their daughters (who tended to prioratise family over career).

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Hard charging into one mode of doing things is not the best way to go.

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Beyond that, you have simple economics - a woman gets pregnant and unless she is very lucky that is going to disrupt her career path in itself because of the necessities of her "confinement", it is economically non-sensicale for her mate to then disrupt his career path once the baby is born. The couple have better net-earning power if one puts career on the backburner to look after the children and the other goes for the big job guns blazing.

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fair point