News of the Weird

One might argue that any additional procreation is highly unlikely - having shot his wife dead, and being very unlikely to get laid again in this lifetime - unless one counts Bubba's devoted attention in the prison showers.

You will all be relieved to know that the World Beard Championship will be returning to North America on May 23, 2009 in Anchorage, Alaska. I was pretty worried that we wouldn't host the hirsute olympics again.

Go BeardTeam USA!

Lol typically Amsterdam, see this is why it is dangerous to take on activities with a purpose other then the greater glory of the second best mayor of the world Job Cohen.

So, the first fine for not attending school is a fact, van Gogh's son got it after his dad was murdered. This can't be a mistake, never write something that is bad for the career of the second best mayor of the world because he will not only destroy you but your kids as well. Never have doubts.

And here's a link about the above, in Dutch. At first glance, vicious, there better be a decent explanation.

It's Amsterdam, there's your explanation. Zero tolerance for non-believers, believing isn't even enough you have to know that there is only one culture and it's multi.

or else.

LOL

http://www.stuff.co.nz/nelsonmail/4453981a6007.html

Man Claims to Speak 'Australian' After Allegedly Being Raped by Wombat

SYDNEY — A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".

Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right, you know."

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life.

HA beat you to it.

Dang, so you did. That'll learn me not to post before clicking every link from the last day. Bad lemur! Bad, naughty lemur!

I'm going to need one of those greeting cards for inmates at this rate ...

Do You Know Someone Who Is In Jail or Prison?

Then “Three Squares Greetings” – “For Those Who Can’t Come Home” is the greeting card line for you. Three Squares Greetings is a new greeting card line designed to keep you in touch with your family members or friends who are in custody. The cards make it EASY for you to express sentiments that are not easy to express. We have greeting cards from parents, children, friends, and family for all occasions.

Categories:

• Money On Your Books
• Thanks For Coming to Court
• Thanks For Visiting
• Happy Birthday Cards
• Cards Requesting Prayer
• Thinking About You Cards
• and Many More

I'm not angry, just a bit dissapointed

Sweet home Lenin-grad-a. Party I'm comin' home to you.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Prepare yourself for this one - maybe with a Stoli martini or two.

Back in the days of the Soviet Union, the Soviet Red Army had an official choir composed of male soldiers and musicians. It still exists. The Red Army Choir performs throughout Russia to this day.

Now consider the Finnish rock band called The Leningrad Cowboys. A little while ago, they held a concert in Russia, in which - to the screaming applause of Russkie teen-agers - they got the Red Army Choir to join them on stage for a performance of "Sweet Home Alabama." In English. You couldn't make this up.

We're talking seriously off the wall here. Better have that Stoli ready when you watch it:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Vladimir

Sweet home Lenin-grad-a. Party I'm comin' home to you.

---

:laugh4: Love it!

In a similar vein, here is that rock classic Smoke on the Mizu
Rock on - whoever you are!! :thrasher:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gregoshi

Smoke on the Mizu

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Brilliant!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Vladimir

Sweet home Lenin-grad-a. Party I'm comin' home to you.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Prepare yourself for this one - maybe with a Stoli martini or two.

Back in the days of the Soviet Union, the Soviet Red Army had an official choir composed of male soldiers and musicians. It still exists. The Red Army Choir performs throughout Russia to this day.

Now consider the Finnish rock band called The Leningrad Cowboys. A little while ago, they held a concert in Russia, in which - to the screaming applause of Russkie teen-agers - they got the Red Army Choir to join them on stage for a performance of "Sweet Home Alabama." In English. You couldn't make this up.

We're talking seriously off the wall here. Better have that Stoli ready when you watch it:

---

Does no one read the video thread anymore?
~;p

CR

I love that version of Sweet Home Alabama as much a the next guy, but man, the video is teh old.

In Atlanta our cybernetic overlords are protecting a bar.

'Bum Bot' patrols Atlanta neighborhood

ATLANTA, March 28 -- An Atlanta bar owner said his "Bum Bot," a robot he created to chase drug dealers and prostitutes out of his neighborhood, is successful in scaring criminals.

Rufus Terrill said he regularly sends the remote-controlled Bum Bot -- which he created from a Cajun meat cooker, a mechanical scooter, a walkie-talkie wired to a home-alarm speaker, an infrared camera, a spotlight and a homemade water cannon -- out to patrol the neighborhood around his bar after dark, the Los Angeles Times reported Friday.

He said drug dealers and prostitutes encountered by his creation are confronted with a warning that if they don't immediately leave the area, they will be blasted by the water cannon.

"It scares the bejesus out of 'em," Terrill said.

However, Anita Beaty, executive director of the non-profit Metro Atlanta Task Force for the Homeless, said the robot, which frequently targets people surrounding a homeless shelter nearby the bar, hinders more than it helps.

"Not everybody outside our building is a drug dealer, and when they are, we want them arrested as much as (Terrill). A robot is not the way to solve anything," she said.

Bolding by lemur.

A man with a sense of humour.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Stringent security measures before a Nato summit in Bucharest next week to be attended by George Bush and Gordon Brown, irritated Bogdan Surdu, 29, a web designer, so much that he posted an internet ad offering his terrace with a clear view of the conference hall as a “sniper position” for rent at a price of €5,000 a day.

Dozens of people answered, including those claiming to belong to al-Qaeda and the CIA. But Romanian security services failed to see the joke. He has now been put under observation and has been classed as a potential security threat.

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/l...cle3633698.ece

Cops Bust Root Beer Kegger

Courtesy of your friends in Wierdsconsin :laugh4:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gregoshi

:laugh4: Love it!

In a similar vein, here is that rock classic Smoke on the Mizu
Rock on - whoever you are!! :thrasher:

---

Damn, that version is better then the Deep Purple version.:hide:

US security no longer removing nipple rings with pliers.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

TSA allows visual inspections of nipple rings
Ditches pliers after Texas airport piercing rumpus
By Lester Haines

The US's Transportation Security Administration has announced some good news for aficionados of nipple piercings - they will no longer have to remove them with pliers before boarding internal flights.

The policy review came shortly after 37-year-old Mandi Hamlin fell foul of a handheld metal detector in Lubbock, Texas, while trying to catch a plane to Dallas on 24 February. The device sucessfully detected two jub accessories, and Hamlin was ordered to remove them.

She was whisked behind a curtain and while the first piercing - a metal bar - slipped out without protest, her nipple ring proved a little more stubborn. Hamlin was quickly reduced to tears and, when handed a pair of pliers to dislodge the offending metalwork, claimed she heard "male TSA agents snicker as she took out the ring".

Cue the obligatory press conference and demands for an apology, although the TSA claimed its operatives "properly followed procedures in that incident" and further supported "the thoroughness of the Officers involved as they were acting to protect the passengers and crews of the flights departing Lubbock that day".

However, the TSA late last week updated its statement to read: "TSA has reviewed the procedures themselves and agrees that they need to be changed. In the future TSA will inform passengers that they have the option to resolve the alarm through a visual inspection of the article in lieu of removing the item in question.

"TSA acknowledges that our procedures caused difficulty for the passenger involved and regrets the situation in which she found herself. We appreciate her raising awareness on this issue and we are changing the procedures to ensure that this does not happen again."

In celebration of this attack of good sense, we at El Reg have had a quick whip-round and will offer a hearty night in our favourite hostelry to the first male reader who turns up at Lubbock bearing a "Prince Albert" and demands a visual inspection. Watch this space. ®

"Darling, when I asked you to lay the table, I meant..."

Eww.

Another cock-up on the catering front. :laugh4:

Cashiers have a greater power and authority than you ever knew.

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...-for-detai.jpg

Giant cannibal hippie-hating squids invade Northern California. Don't go in the water!

It's a recon in force probing our light defences. Not long now my beloved. :sweatdrop:

Hmm, lunch time!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lemur

Giant cannibal hippie-hating squids invade Northern California. Don't go in the water!

---

"They only think about two things: food and reproduction"

Hmm, I think we've just found the Missing Link.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lemur

Giant cannibal hippie-hating squids ...

---

Bah, humbolt!

Gentlemen I have disturbing news. As it turns out squids are lovers, an average encounter lasts 13 minutes and they seem to enjoy it because they want to make love whenever they get the chance.

First kebab-shop on the northpole huge succes

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.../wkebab103.xml

Finally, an answer to that age-old question: What's good to eat in Spitsbergen?

Australia is holding its annual Kill a Toad Day. Sounds like fun for the whole family.

'Kill a toad' day

The Age | Thursday, 03 April 2008

It's Queensland's own version of Clean Up Australia Day - except much more unpleasant and a whole lot wartier.

Nationals MP Shane Knuth wants to hold a day dedicated to ridding the Sunshine State of public enemy number one, the cane toad.

Millions of Queenslanders would be asked to roll up their sleeves to remove the warty pests from their backyards and beyond during the proposed "Toad Day Out".

"Basically we need ... a special day that Queenslanders, especially children, could all play their part, very similar to Clean Up Australia (Day)," the Charters Towers MP said.

"The toad is probably the greatest environmental vermin and probably the most disgusting creature known to man.

"Each female toad can produce up to 20,000 eggs.

"If even 3,000 female toads were collected, this has the potential of eliminating 60 million toads hopping around our environment."

Mr Knuth said the day should be held during the wet season in January, when toad breeding was prolific.

Participants would be encouraged to put the toads in their fridge before euthanasing them in the freezer. They would then be disposed of at a specially set up centre.

Mr Knuth, who last year proposed a 40-cent-per-toad bounty, said both state and federal governments had to seriously consider such a payment as part of any toad hunt.

"I would like the opportunity to present this to (Prime Minister) Kevin Rudd," Mr Knuth said.

"This is not pie in the sky stuff. This is reality."

Mr Knuth admitted to "belting toads with whatever I could get my hands on" in the past, but said cricket bats and golf clubs would not be allowed.

The RSPCA said it would support the Toad Day Out, but only if the pests were killed humanely.

"Obviously we're not idiots - we understand a lot people will be highly reluctant to fill their fridges and freezers with dying cane toads, but at the moment that is the only humane way that we can recommend," spokesman Michael Beatty said.

Queensland's Department of Primary Industries said it was important native frogs were not mistaken for toads during any hunt.

Mr Knuth said Toad Day Out could eventually be held in other states battling the pest.

"We will be waiting 50 years if we rely on science," he said.

"This is a way that will solve the toad problem."