Most pathetic complaint yet

Enough with critical AI design/implementation issues, and historical realism questions- lets talk about the trivial, the unimportant, the lame things that bug us. I've got two:

1- The "boing" sound signaling you've hit "end of turn" button. Sounds like combo drum shot and ... some pseudo metalic thing. But it makes me think of a slapstick "doh!" sound effect like they'd put in a Three Stooges movie. Over and over again. Is this trite, or what? But it SO pulls me out of the immersion, and makes me wonder what I'm spending all this time doing.

2- They can program a game that must have a million lines of code, but they don't show commas for #'s over a thousand??? What, they didn't invest in a special group to research how the world makes 7-digit numbers legible? Or that would've required that ONE extra line of code?

Ok, your turn.

I dont like the skies. They look awful.

When a naval battle starts, the 'sharpshooters' have to climb up the masts to take their positions. Surely any sane Captain would have men up there all the time!

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Originally Posted by TinCow

When a naval battle starts, the 'sharpshooters' have to climb up the masts to take their positions. Surely any sane Captain would have men up there all the time!

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Surely no sane crew member would stay up there all the time.

Underpowered british faction and even more underpowered mortars in MP.

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Originally Posted by Pinxit

Surely no sane crew member would stay up there all the time.

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True, but you'd think they'd get their butts up there more than 2 minutes before the fleets opened up with broadsides.

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Originally Posted by TinCow

True, but you'd think they'd get their butts up there more than 2 minutes before the fleets opened up with broadsides.

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I agree. When you cleared for action the marines went aloft.

How we are left with the clone troopers except on ultra, where there are still only 2 different faces for each unit.

Casabranca?! What is this? Shogun?

Routine CTDs in the Americas I can take, but this......??:furious3:

Oops, original Portuguese spelling apparently:embarassed:

in naval battles, you can only see the selected ships' heading (projected positions), rather than all ships (as in a land battle) when you press/hold space.

oh and, being a land-lubber, i resent being constrained to follow the will of the wind in a naval engagement. Galley's & steam ships gogogo!

The campaign map is huge, only a portion of it is actually used. Same for the oceans - what do do with all that empty space?

Look at the upper coast of Norway - what, if anything, actually occurs in this area? has anyone fought a battle there?

I had to conquer both gibraltar and tangier as GB recently (only had to take tangier because for some reason their navy was blobking mine even though we were at peace) and in both battles it was snowing. With associated 'howling wind' sound effects.

So, okay, probably both of the battles were during winter, and it didnt seem to bother the moroccan camels unduly. But even so... snow in morocco?

[p.s. i know that sometimes it *does* snow in morocco, but it's really jarring in-game, because due to the tones and colours of the landscape textures it looks like it's a *hot* day]

None of it settled, by the way. So no snowmen.

You are right. It is always snowing whenever I have to fight in North Africa. That is why a lot of people are wearing a lot of clothes over their.

No sharks. Where are the sharks?

I would never ask for it, but in a perfect world I would want to have each unit with it's own (properly working) AI, so what cannons don't shoot any more if allied units are in front of them or that a (cavallery) unit do not wait for my order to move when an enemy unit shot at them from behind...

and I miss sharks, too! (and every shark should have his own AI...:idea2:)

The British need more unique units.

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Originally Posted by Sheogorath

The British need more unique units.

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Yep, and the Dutch need fewer. It takes the piss how specialised their armies are.

The whole game needs the option to have less units. What is the point in having like 20 variations of a unit to select when the bog-standard line infantry is still superior to them and everyone uses them.

No comma separating numbers, resulting in it taking me 5 minutes to work out what the overall population of my kingdom is.

Tooltips scrolling too fast, or at all. I'd rather it just be 1 box of information. I find myself reading things so fast that i miss things out because i know i only have 3 seconds to read it before it changes.

I'd like preset battle formations that are actually useful.

I want more unique units. Poland only gets Bat-Cavalry.

I don't like the mouse... and why can reinforcements not arrive in a good location

Why isnt the game exactly like I want it? Why can't I just click and win?

Because you didn't make it and because that would be boring.

I would like it that when I double click on the battle map that my ruddy troops would run and not stroll along taking in the air!! GGrrrr. I've lost loads of cavalry to this bug ~:(

I hate having to click 10 times to make my units charge, i hate my units feeling the need to face directly towards the unit i want them to shoot at. Why can't they just shoot at them from where they are standing?....

why the hell do units in light infantry mode never face the right bloody direction unless you tell them to walk towards it!!!

Friendly fire, don't even get me started on the friendly fire incidents. Some battles i lose more troops to my riflemen shooting their friends in the back or idiots running in front of cannons than i do to the enemy. mostly my fault i know but seriously i'd cover this stuff in basic training

Oh yes the moving walls. I don't know if anyone has seen then spanning a dip in the scenery? they float like a bridge and when you turn your view they click back into the correct position.:oops:

I have seen a few really funny glitches... like the time when I was attacking a town and it was on a hill. The buildings were "sticking" out of the hill with a huge gap under on end. ~:) it didn't really bother me but I just thought i'd like to complain ~;)

I can't zoom the camera in close enough in naval battles. How am I supposed to check for scurvy before I research citrus juice (or whatever that tech is) if I can't look at my sailors?

I can't complain because I don't have a copy of the game! I demand a patch to fix this problem!

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Originally Posted by Andres

I can't complain because I don't have a copy of the game! I demand a patch to fix this problem!

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I demand that you demand that CA have to fix this problem ASAP!!!!

It's breaking the game, for those that don't have the game, which is not fair for those who haven't spent good money on this utter waste of a game.

I have started a petition to demand the reinstatement of pterodactyl-riding musket troopers...

(continued at twcenter.net...)

This thread needs to go back on topic, some complaints are too legitimate :p

I turned the graphics down to low and the snow in Scandanavia was so bright I needed to wear sunglasses.

And I wonder if female rulers back then were supposed to get "mistresses".

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Originally Posted by aimlesswanderer

I turned the graphics down to low and the snow in Scandanavia was so bright I needed to wear sunglasses.

And I wonder if female rulers back then were supposed to get "mistresses".

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That isn't even the half of it. Have you not seen the 80-year old Queen of Marathas, looking like a perky beautiful 18-year old?

Then you hover over her traits and it refers to her as "This man has a harsh reputation..."

Definitely something dodgy going on on that Indian peninsula!

Denmark is listed as a constitutional monarchy. Historically, Denmark did not become a constitutional monarchy until 1849. Yes, they've given a minor, non-playable faction a wrong government type. I find this highly disappointing, and I honestly hope that it will be corrected as it seriously ruins my experience with the game.

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Originally Posted by TinCow

I can't zoom the camera in close enough in naval battles. How am I supposed to check for scurvy before I research citrus juice (or whatever that tech is) if I can't look at my sailors?

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and why don't pirate captains have parrots or wooden legs!

I do have a little complaint. There is no introduction video for the factions. I liked that part of Medieval 2: Total War and was really disappointed when the only thing I got when I started my first campaign was some quote from some guy.

Why can't I put my own glorious face in place of that silly mug? I AM THE KING BABY.

There should be a "Sleep with Catherine" option for diplomacy with Russia.

For that matter, who here thinks a "Commission Masterpiece" would be an awesome option to have in game? I want to be able to sponsor Hayden.

There should be a "Gentleman drinks/freezes himself to death" random event. FOR SCIENCE! Mostly.

Instead of having the fiddly foreign trade thingy as it is and building merchant ships, there should be a special "Sponsor Expedition" option for gentlemen. Then I can send them to the ends of the earth to steal valuable lands from doddering natives.

No courtesans?

I can no longer "make examples of" rebels. Why do I not at least have the option to hang them from the pillory?

Invading Russia in winter should result in 50% casualties to all invading forces.

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Originally Posted by SpiritFox

There should be a "Sleep with Catherine" option for diplomacy with Russia.

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:laugh4: :beam: :laugh4:

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Originally Posted by Maladin

I do have a little complaint. There is no introduction video for the factions. I liked that part of Medieval 2: Total War and was really disappointed when the only thing I got when I started my first campaign was some quote from some guy.

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Absolutely agreed. There should definitely be intro movies.


Pre-battle speeches, too...





Personally I find it a real annoyance that nearly ever other nation starts hating you by 1725. I've been playing through as the British, and only the UP, Prussia and Denmark are still friendly towards me. Russia and Poland are hostile towards me, despite the fact that I've never been at war with either of them, I've taken all but one province from their main rivals (Sweden) and I'm allied with their allies (Denmark)


Continuing on the theme of diplomacy, I'd like to see the AI make peace sometimes, rather than being in a passive war where they just stand around doing nothing for 40 years (Unless it's Russia and the US :clown:)


Sorry if these complaints aren't trivial enough..... Let me balance it out for you......


Has anyone else noticed on the game intro movie, the ship at the start has it's guns run out before they see the enemy, and in heavy rain?.........

As Harry Enfield might say:


OI! C.A.! NO!


Also, no movie for rake missions...... why the hell not?


Why do British military uniforms have blue facings? As anyone who's seen Sharpe will tell you, they should have white facings.....


The Dutch soldiers wear orange on the campaign map, but blue on the battle map. Who the hell thought that one up?


Why aren't the Mughals, Portugese, Danish, Italians, Iriqouis, Cherokee and Persians playable?


And just for future reference: the map sucks. not enough regions. not nearly enough......

There are too many complaints.

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Originally Posted by Subotan

There are too many complaints.

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That's the most pathetic complaint I have ever ... <looks at thread title> ... Oh.

We have a winner. Thread closed.

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Originally Posted by Dayve

That isn't even the half of it. Have you not seen the 80-year old Queen of Marathas, looking like a perky beautiful 18-year old?

Then you hover over her traits and it refers to her as "This man has a harsh reputation..."

Definitely something dodgy going on on that Indian peninsula!

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The word you're looking for is hijra :laugh4: