god, I need some help...

well, I have now come to find out that one of my best friends smokes. at 14. and I have no idea what to do. if he keeps on, I won't associate with him, nor will I allow him to ride with me to get to basketball games, which in turn will cause us to lose.

my question is what do i need to do to either get him to stop, or alert the police to this so that he will stop when he gets in such a huge amount of trouble? what is the whole process, how do I handle it, etc. I am so confused; I would like to keep it anonymous so I don't become the neighborhood snitch, but I can't let him keep doing this and ruin his life. he smells bad as well.



can anyone offer any guidance?

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Originally Posted by PI

god, I need some help...

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Gah! Again?! :clown:

Anyways, to the problem: so one of your friends smokes? Who cares? Most of my friends in high school smoked, and some of my buddies now probably smoke. It's not a big deal, my friend. It's not like he'll pressure you into smoking, and even if he tries, it's easy to refuse. I never bothered to take up smoking in high school despite, as I already stated, having the vast majority of my friends smoking. And as for the smelling problem, it can't be half as bad as those high school kids who shower once a week.

You need to open your eyes a bit more, bro. Tolerance is a good thing. :smile:

Light up with him

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

Light up with him

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Don't forget the NiQuil. You can't have any fun without that stuff.

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Originally Posted by Megas Methuselah

Don't forget the NiQuil. You can't have any fun without that stuff.

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Niquil? Are you in Jr.high?

It's all about that lean

https://img189.imageshack.us/img189/...urpledrank.jpg

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nor will I allow him to ride with me to get to basketball games, which in turn will cause us to lose.

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you are by far the best member on this fourm. Thank you for keeping things awesome.

Lock him in a closet and give him a pack of cigarettes.

Let him do his thing, you do yours. I had plenty of friends who were smokers, you get used to the smell after awhile.

Ask him how much money he spends on cigarettes. It's a lot.

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Originally Posted by Strike For The South

https://img189.imageshack.us/img189/...urpledrank.jpg

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PI, you gotta take some sips of this stuff. :evilgrin:

People who have any sort of addiction deserve to be ostracised from society and be cut off from their friends. It's the only way to make a better America

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Originally Posted by Megas Methuselah

PI, you gotta take some sips of this stuff. :evilgrin:

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Srsly, you don't know what you're missing out here. All your friends do it, you know? You have nothing to lose.

Still and all, 14 is kinda young to be getting hooked on nicotine. Getting off ciggies is a non-trivial bit of work.

Honestly, the people who should be intervening are the parents, who should be fully aware if their kid is smoking, seeing as the smell clings to clothes, hair, mouth, etc.

Never went for Robitussen, myself.

I know a bunch of 15-year olds who are dealing some sort of drug. It wouldn't be that unbelievable to know that a 14 year old is smoking.

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Originally Posted by Prussian Iron

well, I have now come to find out that one of my best friends smokes. at 14. and I have no idea what to do. if he keeps on, I won't associate with him, nor will I allow him to ride with me to get to basketball games, which in turn will cause us to lose.

my question is what do i need to do to either get him to stop, or alert the police to this so that he will stop when he gets in such a huge amount of trouble? what is the whole process, how do I handle it, etc. I am so confused; I would like to keep it anonymous so I don't become the neighborhood snitch, but I can't let him keep doing this and ruin his life. he smells bad as well.



can anyone offer any guidance?

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You want to stop associating with someone because they have a bad habit? If that is so then you should lock yourself in a dark sound proof room and never leave. Just make him go away when he wants to light up.

IMO 14 is too young to start smoking, I read a lot of medical records at my job and the majority of patients who have serious lung problems at age 40+ started smoking heavily in their teens.

He's still your friend, he just has a habit you don't approve of. So, politely ask him not to smoke in your car, house, etc., that's about all you can do without making him angry. If he's a considerate person, he won't smoke in your car when you give him a ride to basketball.

Chances are his parents or a teacher will catch him eventually, it's hard to get the smell off.

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my question is what do i need to do to either get him to stop, or alert the police to this so that he will stop when he gets in such a huge amount of trouble? .

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You remind me of my mother. At around 15 I was using drugs and my mom sent me to drug rehab center. I got out and started using again. What a waste of money and time that was. I was almost 20 when I graduated high school. Just be careful with the reckless intervention even if your intention is good. Hitting rock-bottom too hard your friend might not stand back up. One day I finally got tired and quit. Start imposing rules like no-smoking in your car. It will help to make him smoke less. I'm drug free now but still smoke. I just gradually add more silly rules in my life like not smoking inside my apartment. A Pack of Marlboro lasts for 2 and a half days now with cold weather and all.

Just drop a pack in his house somewhere his mom can find them easily :shrug:

Then what? His mother gives him spanking and makes PI watch? You certainly don't cure addiction that way. All you're doing is encouraging the kid to be rebellious and puts a distance between him and his loved ones. Other than the aforemention method you can try to hook him up with a hot girl or something. Then again you might complain if they make out too much in public.

The kid obviously is not mature enough to handle peer-pressure and thus smoke.

What about those with no peers like me? I also don't lay bricks for a living so if I quit smoking totally I'll turn to eating. Screwed either way...

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Originally Posted by Lemur

Still and all, 14 is kinda young to be getting hooked on nicotine. Getting off ciggies is a non-trivial bit of work.

Honestly, the people who should be intervening are the parents, who should be fully aware if their kid is smoking, seeing as the smell clings to clothes, hair, mouth, etc.

Never went for Robitussen, myself.

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Unfortunately it's pretty much the norm these days. Most of my friends started smoking at 14 and have continued the habit for years now, very few have quit either.

One of my friends once said "he wouldn't touch a cigarette with a barge pole". I reminded him about it the other day at the pub, he smiled and then proceeded to light-up..

How can a 14 year old afford to smoke?

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Originally Posted by Hosakawa Tito

How can a 14 year old afford to smoke?

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lol, my thoughts exactly......I didn't try it until I was 16 something and for the next three years I was always, nearly totally broke.....never could get as many as I wanted....cigarettes are costly..... :laugh4:

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Originally Posted by Weebeast

You remind me of my mother.

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perhaps i'm just a bit more caring about those close to me than most people, and more responsible than many my age.

I doubt this dad knows about it; he's a cop and my friend was in a panic to find toothpaste so he could get the smell off him (???). his mom might, but I doubt it. she might be a crazy, racist, anti-semetic b****, but she cares about what her son does.

The police can't actually do anything, it's not illegal for a minor to smoke.

You a lawyer in the US?

:tongue:

everyone has the friend that smokes, not that I personally endorse the bad habit. I started when I was 16, kicked em seven years later, it was my stupid decision to start, and it was also my decision to quit. He's gotta live the consequences, and as long as you don't hang out with him while he's smoking, you don't. Doesn't mean he deserves to be ostracized.

As Mr. Einstein said "I prefer quiet vice to ostentatious virtue." Nobody likes the moral police, especially at your age.

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Originally Posted by miotas

The police can't actually do anything, it's not illegal for a minor to smoke.

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:inquisitive:

You'll get fined in the US.

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Originally Posted by Prussian Iron

perhaps i'm just a bit more caring about those close to me than most people

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Or you're overreacting.

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Originally Posted by Prussian Iron

and more responsible than many my age.

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...?

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Originally Posted by miotas

The police can't actually do anything, it's not illegal for a minor to smoke.

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Same in the UK . They can't buy them, and the police can confiscate them if they're caught with them, but they won't get fined/charged/whatever

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Originally Posted by Csargo

:inquisitive:

You'll get fined in the US.

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:shrug: I had heard it was the same in the US, maybe that's only in certain states.

If I were you I wouldn't do anything. Is it worth losing a friend over? No. So let him be, at 14 he'll either get caught or run out of money to smoke. Which will probably solve the problem in due time.

If you really care about your friend, then if you want, you may give him some of this "shock therapy"

1) Show him some really disturbing pictures of the effects of smoking, how him a disgusting photos of black lungs that was lifted because it was allready broken beyond repair...

2) Give him a lot of Soda when he comes to your car / room, and tell him that you dislike smoking...

3) Tell him, Jesus / Buddha / Moses / Muhammad / whatever is non smoker... if he's Atheist then you can say the evolution branch who exposed to more pollution die first

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Originally Posted by Cute Wolf

If you really care about your friend, then if you want, you may give him some of this "shock therapy"

1) Show him some really disturbing pictures of the effects of smoking, how him a disgusting photos of black lungs that was lifted because it was allready broken beyond repair...

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thats actually not a bad idea; do it casually too; we exchange a lot of shock pics in our little group; the latest one is this enormous naked chick, and you can't even tell what it is unless you look close and find her face. it is truly scary.:skull:

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Originally Posted by Cute Wolf

3) Tell him, Jesus / Buddha / Moses / Muhammad / whatever is non smoker...

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So was Hitler :yes:

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Originally Posted by Prussian Iron

thats actually not a bad idea; do it casually too; we exchange a lot of shock pics in our little group; the latest one is this enormous naked chick, and you can't even tell what it is unless you look close and find her face. it is truly scary.:skull:

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Uh, OK

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Originally Posted by Prussian Iron

the latest one is this enormous naked chick, and you can't even tell what it is unless you look close and find her face. it is truly scary.:skull:

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I wouldn't be able to get a hard-on for weeks if I saw that. :dizzy2:

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Originally Posted by Cute Wolf

If you really care about your friend, then if you want, you may give him some of this "shock therapy"

1) Show him some really disturbing pictures of the effects of smoking, how him a disgusting photos of black lungs that was lifted because it was allready broken beyond repair...

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I would not. Everyone (well, almost everyone, at least in US) knows what smoking does to your body. He will simply be annoyed. Like a previous poster said, no-one likes moral police, and no need to annoy or harrass him, trying to persuade him. It is his decision, and I doubt you would make much of an impact - people have to grow out of these things mostly by themselves. Just let him know you do not like it, and that you are against it, but do not make a mountain out of it.

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Originally Posted by Cute Wolf

2) Give him a lot of Soda when he comes to your car / room, and tell him that you dislike smoking...

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That may be a good idea, along with gum. I hear and read that helps fight the craving, to a point.

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Originally Posted by Cute Wolf

3) Tell him, Jesus / Buddha / Moses / Muhammad / whatever is non smoker... if he's Atheist then you can say the evolution branch who exposed to more pollution die first

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Once again, it is rather annoying, not to mention absolutely irrelevant. Tobacco was not in the Old World back then. But most of those likely smoked cannabis & other psychoactive substances.


Once again, whatever you do, do not act like a mommy or an activist. I am sure he knows the risks and knows his habit is rather on the vile side - he does not need others to tell him. All that such nagging can do is break up a friendship.

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Originally Posted by Subotan

So was Hitler

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Heh, yeah, it was Hitler who led the first most successful (not really, but for those days it was a big step), widespread modern crusade against tobacco. It was his doctors and scientists who proved cigarette smoke was harmful. He also promoted vegetarianism and animal rights. Too bad PETA was not around back then to discredit themselves through collaboration :laugh4:.

Try these.

You could always try an all male cheer squad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0Dz...eature=related

I've smoked, I've done weed, drunk alcohol and much more when I was 14. But I can't understand people getting addicted. I don't do most of it (except alcohol, but hey I'm a student) often. Addictions are for weaklings. It's not really that I care about health that much though.

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Originally Posted by Prussian Iron

well, I have now come to find out that one of my best friends smokes. at 14. and I have no idea what to do. if he keeps on, I won't associate with him, nor will I allow him to ride with me to get to basketball games, which in turn will cause us to lose.

my question is what do i need to do to either get him to stop, or alert the police to this so that he will stop when he gets in such a huge amount of trouble? what is the whole process, how do I handle it, etc. I am so confused; I would like to keep it anonymous so I don't become the neighborhood snitch, but I can't let him keep doing this and ruin his life. he smells bad as well.



can anyone offer any guidance?

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Friend? You dont know the meaning of that word. If your willing to disassociate and snitch on him because you happen to not like one of his hobbies then you obviosly dont deserve him as a friend. Completely break off contact with him, you sound like your about to do something drastic which will only end up hurting him.


Contributive part of the post: Tell him you dont allow smoking in your car. This is completely reasonable. Then hint when your hanging out stuff like "really wish you wouldnt do that, smells bad", maybe a couple times but never get in his face about it. Wont do anything if you do.

How many people from school are you still in contact with?

I graduated 14 months ago. I'm in contact with two people from the class of 274. One of those being Beefy.

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Originally Posted by Moros

I've smoked, I've done weed, drunk alcohol and much more when I was 14. But I can't understand people getting addicted. I don't do most of it (except alcohol, but hey I'm a student) often. Addictions are for weaklings. It's not really that I care about health that much though.

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it looks like you have a strong mind :2thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by miotas

You could always try an all male cheer squad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0Dz...eature=related

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Yeah, show him this, it's a proven method! Cuz I saw it on TV.

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Originally Posted by Moros

Addictions are for weaklings.

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Everybody has "their" drug. If you're very unlucky, you'll meet yours someday, and you'll wish you hadn't been such a hard-nosed idjit about addiction.

I say this because I've lived it. I have a very high pain threshold, so I figured that meant I was strong-willed. Nope, just means I have a high pain threshold. I was never addictive about alcohol, weed, anything, so I figured that meant I was strong-willed. Nope. Just meant I wasn't addictive about most drugs.

Then, after a complicated incident involving a hustler, a soldier, an assault rifle and a misunderstanding about cameras and the King of Morocco, I was introduced to cigarettes. And I discovered that I wasn't so strong-willed after all. Getting off them was sheer, unadulterated murder. I would repeat to myself over and over again the Mark Twain quote, "There is nothing so hard about quitting tobacco; I myself have done it hundreds of times."

My advice: Don't get on a high horse (pun intended) about addiction. Much like sex or skiing, until you've experienced it personally you have no idea what you're talking about.

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Originally Posted by Lemur

Everybody has "their" drug. If you're very unlucky, you'll meet yours someday, and you'll wish you hadn't been such a hard-nosed idjit about addiction.

I say this because I've lived it. I have a very high pain threshold, so I figured that meant I was strong-willed. Nope, just means I have a high pain threshold. I was never addictive about alcohol, weed, anything, so I figured that meant I was strong-willed. Nope. Just meant I wasn't addictive about most drugs.

Then, after a complicated incident involving a hustler, a soldier, an assault rifle and a misunderstanding about cameras and the King of Morocco, I was introduced to cigarettes. And I discovered that I wasn't so strong-willed after all. Getting off them was sheer, unadulterated murder. I would repeat to myself over and over again the Mark Twain quote, "There is nothing so hard about quitting tobacco; I myself have done it hundreds of times."

My advice: Don't get on a high horse about addiction. Much like sex or skiing, until you've experienced it personally you have no idea what you're talking about.

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Iv had friends tell me straight up "Dont try heroin, not even once, because your going to love it and you wont stop for a long long time".

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Originally Posted by Lemur

Everybody has "their" drug. If you're very unlucky, you'll meet yours someday, and you'll wish you hadn't been such a hard-nosed idjit about addiction.

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Yeah, Total War works perfectly like that :laugh4: once you play this holy genre, you'll found most computer games lacking anything.....

Joking... :clown: I still love CNC too

my advice: dont say anything stupid.

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Originally Posted by Hooahguy

my advice: dont say anything stupid.

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Yes, which in my opinion would constitute as anything leading to the degradation of your mutual friendship. His addiction is regrettable, but friendship should come first. And cigarette smoking is the one of the least socially harmful of just about any substance addiction I can think of (barring the bad odour - but I am given to understand the main issue with you and him are your moral objections). That is what you, PI, should care about IMHO. His personal health is his matter.

ok my little comment earlier i dont think is enough.
does you school have counselor or psychologist?
i think it would be wise to let your school counselor know, so he/she can help your friend get through the addiction.
smoking is bad. i shouldnt need to tell you why. AP, you say his health isnt PI's problem, but in a sense, it is.
you know what a true friend is?
a true friend does what is right, not look the other way to curry favor with the rest. ive tried smoking, didnt like it, so i stopped, but when i saw a friend of mine get hooked, i went to the school counselor, and you know what? my friend recovered and stopped smoking because of what i did. he is now doing perfectly fine. no one found out, because counselors are sworn to secrecy, naturally.

but i do say, dont be harsh on him, for gods sake. in fact, i wouldnt bring it up at all, especially so he wont get suspicious. if you start taking your own initiative (as in talking to him yourself) and go to the counselor, he will get suspicious and he will most likely spread stuff, which you dont want.
but you cant just do nothing.
evil happens when the good stand by and do nothing.

did that make sense? i hope so. its 1:30 in the morning here and im dead tired.

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Originally Posted by Lemur

Everybody has "their" drug. If you're very unlucky, you'll meet yours someday, and you'll wish you hadn't been such a hard-nosed idjit about addiction.

I say this because I've lived it. I have a very high pain threshold, so I figured that meant I was strong-willed. Nope, just means I have a high pain threshold. I was never addictive about alcohol, weed, anything, so I figured that meant I was strong-willed. Nope. Just meant I wasn't addictive about most drugs.

Then, after a complicated incident involving a hustler, a soldier, an assault rifle and a misunderstanding about cameras and the King of Morocco, I was introduced to cigarettes. And I discovered that I wasn't so strong-willed after all. Getting off them was sheer, unadulterated murder. I would repeat to myself over and over again the Mark Twain quote, "There is nothing so hard about quitting tobacco; I myself have done it hundreds of times."

My advice: Don't get on a high horse (pun intended) about addiction. Much like sex or skiing, until you've experienced it personally you have no idea what you're talking about.

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Well there are few addicting things I haven't tried. I'm not a complete idiot either, I'd not try crack out or something. As anyone gets hooked on it after one try. I'm talking about normal addicting stuff. Cigarettes, I've smoked more than two packages on a day when I was like 12. Never got hooked though.:no: Eitherway I guess I'm going off-topic.

Personally I don't think you should try to convince him to stop, or not be his freinds if he doesn't. It's his choice. His parents can, but not you. You should offer a helping/supporting hand when he wants to quit though.