This is the in-character diplomacy thread for the Glorious Achievements hotseat game. Please only post here if you are a participant in the game.
OOC:
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
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This is the in-character diplomacy thread for the Glorious Achievements hotseat game. Please only post here if you are a participant in the game.
OOC:
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
At the Milanese Court of Duca Giorgio a banqueting hall is prepared for the arrival of guests from around the world.
The Duca has challenged his fellow Kings and Sultans to a Grand Wager in which each will compete for the honour of being recognised as the greatest leader of men on God's great earth.
Tables laden with food, comfortable chairs and flagons of ale and wine await the arrival of the guests.
Duca Giorgio himself is not yet present, which only adds to the keen sense of anticipation...
A parchment arrives by royal messenger:
Here thee! Here thee!
The Royal princess of the Emperor will make her way towards the Italian peninsula,
She will most certainly charm many of the Italians, but her primary mission is that of diplomacy and to negotiate the relinquishment of Florence and Bologna,
We welcome the three nations of he peninsula to negotiate terms for these Italian cities in exchange for a rich bounty for the Emperor, and discourage any from attempting to take matters into their own hand or risk war.
- The true Holy Roman Emperor
An eldery Milanese gentleman rises to address the messenger. He is well known to those gathered at the Ducal court, being Conte Giacomo di Genova, a trusted advisor of Duca Giorgio himself and also known as 'Il Gattopardo'.
His silvery hair is cropped short and he sports a small pointy beard.
Signor, allow me to confirm your principessa will be most welcome here at the court of Duca Giorgio. I should also make it clear that his highness will be most interested in speaking with the Kaiser's daughter regarding the fate of Firenze and Bologna. We should prefer to conduct these discussions in private, so I suggest the principessa, on her arrival, join me in the anteroom or correspond in writing.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
However, I should point out that Firenze is currently not held by his imperial majesty, being unaffiliated, and so any negotiations will be over our claims to that city, subject to one or other of our nations bringing it under our control.
An Egyptian man enters, bowing to his host and extending his arms.
My name is Nasr Kabuli, of the Egyptian Hassanids. Sultan Al-Mustansir Hassan has restored Sunni Islam to Egypt and has sent a long overdue olive branch to his sunni allies across the mideast. In this time of unification for the ummah, the Turkish Sultanate and ourselves have entered into alliance. Insha'Allah, we will together usher in a new age for Islam and spread the blessed word Al-Mustafa across the earth.
The diplomat gives a sideways grin.
Now... frankly speaking for my master... it would do well for the good Al-Mustansir to win this game--an accredit to his new rulership and vindication against his political enemies. Thus, we gladly accept this gamble the esteemed Duke of Milan has proposed and I am here to offer my services to both you and my masters during this wager's duration.
He bows one last time before stepping away and taking his seat opposite of the German envoy.
A noble man hastily enters the chambers, his head held high and his entire demenour showing pride and arrogance. His red cape bears three golden lions, and when he starts to speak it is in French.
I bring word from Willliam the Conqueror, Lord of Normandy and King of England. He accepts the Duke's challenge, but is having a hard time looking forward to this glorious contest. The Scottish barbarians have shown their cruelty and savagery by attacking the English village of York, and slaying our Prince among hundreds of brave Englishmen in doing so. I cannot say this was unexpected, but I must congratulate the brutes on successfully pulling out a daring manuever, simultaneously sealing their own doom.
With that he simply nods to the assembled, and takes a seat near the unoccupied throne of the Duke.
In a secluded seat from the other dignitaries that had arrived, a young Spanish noble sits anxiously. He wore a golden jacket with a scarlet red cape. Around his neck hung a silver chain with the a small gold bull on the end of it. Having remained silent since arriving at the court, the Spanish dignitary finally stands. Excitedly applauding the Eglishman, he says,
“Spain knows well your plight; we too struggle to unite our people.”
The delegate pauses for a second to look around, but then shrugs to himself and readdresses the court,
“I was instructed to wait until the French, Moorish, and Portuguese representatives arrived, but seeing as none of them have chosen to show as of yet, I shall go ahead. I am Salvador Alvarez, and come representing Alfonso el Valiente, King of Spain. King Alfonso accepts your challenge Duke, but his heart binds him to his people. As such, he seeks to unite all the Spanish people of Iberia under his glorious rule. He had hoped that the Portuguese would see the validity of his throne and join him in his Reconquista against the Moors, but it seems the fools would rather he prove his worth to them. So with a heavey heart, King Alfonso must declare war on his own people in order to unite them.”
Salvador stops for a second to pick up a letter marked with the royal seal of Spain.
“By royal decree, Spain declares that any foreign agent or army that passes south of the Pyranees, without prier negotiations with the Spanish court, shall be considered an enemy of all of Spain. Also by royal decree, any wishing to join in on King Alfonso’s crusade against the Moors must first seek his permission, as he feels God has given him alone this most holy of missions.”
The Egyptian diplomat nods.
Let it be known, noble Spaniard, that Egypt does not recognize the Moorish Almoravids as kin and we take no offense to your invasion of their lands. You will hear no protests from us, lest you wrongfully persecute innocent Muslims caught in your war.
He turns to the Norman.
Also, we pray Allah's righteous vengeance be on your side, good Norman. Truly, a snake strikes when his neighbor's back is turned. A warrior does as this Spaniard has done and announces his intentions before he has befallen his blade.
A crowd of people enters the Doge`s palace. It is the Hungarian delegation taking its seat among the council of nations.
Entering the Hall is a slight man, Turban covering hid hair and a riding cloth covering his mouth. Trepidatiously walking towards a seat close to the Egyptian diplomat he removes most of the surplus dress required for riding until he is standing in a fine robe and light turban. Turning around to face the vast majority of the grand room filled with tables and guests he raises his voice.
I am the representative of the magnanimous Sultan Jalal, leader of the Great Seljuk Empire. Our lands are fertile and massive and inhabited by a populace of the one true faith. Though only recently our land have extended towards the Mediterranean and only a small amount can be considered 'Anatolia', we are willing to accept the Doge's Wager. Already diplomats of our nation have agreed upon terms of alliance with a brethren of the South, the Egyptian Ayyubids. This is not only a diplomatic token, it is a deal sealed not by us mortals, but by the mighty Allah, who commands us Sunni to control.
Similar tokens of exchange may be made with us, Allah willing, but wary will we be of those that call themselves Christians, answering to the Pope or no. I wish those participating the most magnificent of blessings and that these years may be of great fortune for all of our nations.
Duca Giorgio finally arrives at Court, accompanied by a panoply of harlequins, jugglers, minstrels, fair maidens scattering rose petals, hunting hounds in full song and a massive, chained bear wearing a starched ruff around its swarthy neck and with its paws in a pair of colourful gloves, a dwarf in a dress riding on its back.
After the several minutes it takes for this august company to disperse and for the assembled dignitaries to recover their composure, Il Duca, deliberately giving the bear a wide berth, presents himself to the assembly and smiles broadly at his guests.
Giorgio is a tall and wiry gentleman of advancing years, his complexion bearing the kiss of a half-century of Tuscan summers and his formerly jet-black hair now almost entirely peppered with the same grey that adorns his thin mustache and pointed goatee. He is clad in black silk and cuts an elegant figure, slim and athletic.
Buongiorno my esteemed guests, you are most welcome here at the Feast of the Wager!
I trust that my old friend Il Gattopardo has made you comfortable as you awaited my arrival. I am afraid that a small dispute with my Venetian neighbours had detained me for a time. Venezia now being the newest addition to my Duchy I am at your disposal for the time being.
I have little else to say besides to wish my English, Scottish, Danish and German friends the best fortune in their attempts to find peaceful solutions to the disputes which plague them. I will remain neutral in these matters, at least for the time, but I welcome any diplomatic approaches now that I am here.
Eat, drink and make merry! The Wager has now truly begun!
After having witnessed the bizarre appearance of Doge Giorgio one Hungarian diplomat says to another.
I always knew those Italians were bizarre but what are they doing to this poor bear?
I don`t know. There are certain rumours around. Silence. Both first look at each other and then on to the bear and the Doge.
He should try one of our wild bears from the deep down forests of the Carpathians then.
Both laugh.
I will propose to the lord to gift one to the Doge.
Both laugh out again.
Salvador graciously receives a letter, but after reading it he jumps to his feet in anger. Tearing the letter to shreds in his hands, he scans the room for his target. After a few moments of fruitless glaring, Salvador begins to calm down. After readjusting his collar and taking a deep breath, he addresses the general assembly,
“As I cannot find the French diplomat to address him directly I shall make a general announcement and hope that...” Salvador grits his teeth, “the good sir will receive it. My lord made it clear that he was intent on uniting all of Spain, and that all lands south of the mighty Pyranees mountains where subject to the Spanish court. It was also declared that any foreign agents or forces that intrude on Spanish lands, without prior approval, would be dealt with severely. However, out of good will and a hope for continued peace with the French, he has granted them the opportunity to return North unharmed, but should they continue on their current path, they will not be shown mercy.”
The Egyptian diplomat sends one of his Nubian slaves to clean up the mess the Spaniard has made.
Salvador dismisses the slave, insisting on picking up his own mess, but he nods to the Egyptian diplomat for the generous gesture.
A group of young Spanish nobles grace the Milanese Court with their presence as they pass through on their travels across Europe. Salvador gets up to greet them and converse. The whole group soon becomes overjoyed as they cheer amongst themselves and start singing Spanish songs. Salvador pulls himself away from the festive bunch long enough to announce to the court
“My new friends here bring tidings of good news. After the Moorish Sultan was deafeated in open combat a season ago, the cowered choose to cower behind his capital’s walls rather then die an honorable death with his men. However, King Alfonso has finally breached Cordoba’s defenses, taken the city, and slayed the cowered Tahar with his own sword. The Reconquista is alive and well!”
At this, Salvador’s new friends cheer and clap. A servant gathers drinks as they all continue to sing their patriotic tunes.
Nasr raises a brow at the Spaniard table. He then clears his throat and turns to the general delegation.
Yes, well... let it be known that our own Sultan, Al-Mustansir, has captured Jerusalem--wrestling it away from the withering hands of the "Great" Seljuks. His forces are now currently besieging Acre and the castle is expected to fall next season.
Also, I'm supposed to read this...
He takes out a scroll and begins to read it aloud in a tired, droning voice.
The Great Imam Mahfouz would like all the Kings and Nobles of Europe to rest assured that all pilgrims--Muslim, Christian, and Jew--will be treated equally and without rebuke while passing through the Holy Lands so long as we--the Hassanid Sultanate-- are in power over these jeweled cities of the coast. The Hassanid Sultanate values the beliefs and religious diversity of yadda yadda yadda...
He puts away the scroll and tilts his head.
But... surely... this is a court of business. Let us not be burdened by our States' petty religious squabbles. There's a wager to be played here and so, if no one has any objections to our taking of Jerusalem, perhaps we can return to business...
Walking into the court with a smug look on his face is Emperor Heinrich of the Holy Roman Empire.
I Welkcome all, I am zee Kaizer!
I come to see this vonderful court of nation in Milanio, and I am very Impressed with City/ Diss iz vhy I have also brought my army to Siege it!!
I VANT IT!!, NOW!!!
Yesh, also I wish to congradulate the New Duke of Milan, Zee sir, Duke Bernardo!!,
Unfortunitzly former Duke Giorgio and his company are now fish Foodz!
So unless, zee emperor findz problems in future? I wlecome yee allz to das New court of Milan part of our Holy Roman Empire.
he then flips his cape and walks out of the court admiring his soon to be prize.
(p.s. Sorry phonicsmonkey)
Salvador stands and announces,
“I personally dislike the notion of two civilized Christian nations such as the Holy Roman Empire and Milan fighting, but as my Lord has been busy slaying rebels and intruders on Spain’s rightful lands, he has had little time to give foreign matters much thought. On that note, I am proud to announce that the main Portuguese Army has been slain and their rebel prince felled by my own Lord. As his son, Prince Rodrigo, lays siege to the rebel Portuguese’s capital and their false King, my Lord heads east to finish off the remaining rebel and invader settlements on the Spanish Peninsula.
The Egyptian man snickers, then turns to the silent Turkish ambassador, whispering...
"The Spaniard has little time to consider the immorality of killing fellow Christians whilst he's killing fellow Christians."
The man grins, proud of his joke; but the Turkish diplomat only stares blankly at the wall ahead. Nasr furrows his brow and backs away slowly from the Turkish envoy, deciding it best not to talk with him anymore.
Overhearing some of the Egyptian’s one sided conversation, Salvador says to himself, grumbling, “The rebel Portuguese hardly qualify as Christians anymore, let alone civilized. Ha.” However, Salvador thinks about it for a second and adds, “Although, with the death of the Duke, the Milanese have fallen into chaos themselves.” Salvador shrugs and laughs to himself, “Que es la vida (That’s life)”
The Danish King has received the message from the Emperor. While the Emperor may want to clear some room in his inbox to receive responses in the future, he would hopefully be happy to hear that the Danish King accepts.
The wind rustled throughout the city of Milan, the glorious court sat unnerved by the coming events,
after a long eerie silence, a single loud "Thud" echo's across the streets of Milan, then another, and another... Finally there's a loud Crash, and screams echo throughout Milan!
A Milanese soldiers runs into the court in disarray and panic, with fear penetrating his eyes he yells
"THE WALLS HAVE BEEN BREACHED, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!"
He makes a quick exit in a panic to his unknown fate!
Throughout the whole city now, screams, panic, chaos and excitement echo, German soldiers have won against the meager defenses and are now helping themselves to the treasure and women.
All of a sudden the court hears the marching of soldiers, growing louder and louder.
Enters the Emperor accompanied by his royal guard marching in formation, the emperor enters the hall on a black steed and addresses the court
"Milan iz mine!
Youve are velcom to stay, I vill ensure dat da troops do not show yee pain!"
He then unsattles his horse and takes a seat at the HRE table of delegates and unceremoniously puts his feat up on the table and yawns widely,
The then glances at his troops and snaps his finger impatiently.
A royal messengers enters and unrolls his parchment to read to the court
"Good evening gentlemen!,
Milan is now under the control of the Holy Roman Empire Rule,
Questions are raised on the fate of this court, do these fine ambassadors wish that the court remain in Milan? or should there be a vote for a new location?
Duke Bernardo is also dead, have his shortest reign in history!
Also the Holy Roman Empire, has negotiated peace terms with the Danish, and have agree to let them have Hamburg in order to end the fighting!.
- Ambassador to the Emperor"
After the reading you hear a large strange noise echo throughout the hall, "RRAraraWwwaratarr-ppooooOOoo"
Apparently the Emperor has fallen asleep, and snores like beast...
The Hassanid ambassador is leaning in his seat, cleaning his nails with a knife.
I care not where we meet, good gentlemen. All the places here look the same to me.
He looks up.
I do wonder, though... with the Duke gone into Abraham's bosom... what is the fate of his game? Is "The Great Wager" still on? Or has this merely become another brothel for diplomacy and matters of state? I don't believe I'm totally qualified to be here if that is the case...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quirl al-Mustafa Mubarak
OCC:
This game is called Total War is it not!?
Many of these Great Wager's are non-war releated achievements, and I think its still applicable, but so is War right?
OOC:
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Responding the the Hassanid Ambassador, Salvador says "My lord has said that even with the Dukes demise, he believes the Grand Wager should carry on; that is if the other Lords of Europe and the East are willing to continue in its pursuit. It might have started as one man's vision, but we have all arrived here in the quest for that same vision, therefore the death of one man should not change the goal of this congregation."
As the last Milanese dignitaries are fleeing from the chamber a bearded Turk steps through the doors and into the chamber, squinting in the glare of a beam of sunlight which spotlights him from above. His head is adorned with an off-white turban and he is draped in simple olive-green robes. He has a large hooked nose which protrudes from his bushy moustache like a sea otter emerging from a bank of kelp. Over his shoulder he has a canvas kit bag which he drops onto the flagstones beside him.
As-salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatu'l-laahi wa barakatuhu my brothers! I come from the far off Sultanate of Rum bearing the greetings of Sultan Jalal the Magnificent who would take part in the Italian Duke's Grand Wager.
Although as I understand it the Duca has won himself only a watery grave for his troubles...Allah have mercy on his soul. I trust the wager is still in place? We would compete with your good rulers, confident of victory and glory in the eyes of Allah!
I bring gifts of pomegranates should your noble persons require them - feel free to help yourself.
He finds a seat and proudly tips out of his canvas bag onto the table in front of him a bushel or so of fairly tired looking pomegranates, for all the world like a hawker setting out his wares on his stall in the souq. Some of the pomegranates fall to the floor and he does not appear to notice.
The Hassanid ambassador twiddles his fingers and leans forward.
Oooooh. Pomegranates.
He plucks a few off the table and stuffs them into his mouth, sucking on each of his fingers as he does so.
Throwing down the letter he was reading, Salvador jumps up in anger. With the court still lacking a French diplomat, Salvador curses and shakes his fist in the Devils direction,
"Silver-tounged toad eaters. I told my Lord that those French Gaul coundn't be trusted, to crush them on sight, but no; he had to give them a chance to explain themselves. I'd like to hear them explain this! What kind of backwards Christains sign treaties of allegency then turn around and march on their allies borders? Did they think we wouldn't notice? It's not enough that we are fighting the rebelious Portugese and the Moorish invaders, are we going to have to fight French barbarians too?"
Pulling a cross from under his shirt, Salvador kisses it, "Truly God must be testing us; to send such demons and plagues upon Spain."
Calmed down now, Salvador retakes his seat and begins to write a hasty response to the letter.
After being gone for several days visiting his king, Salvador returns to the court, followed in toe by a young Spanish woman. With the burden of lost sleep lying heavy upon his face, Salvador addresses the court with a heavy heart,
“Despite all the warnings, mercies, and second chances my Lord has offered to the Frenchmen, they have continued to ignore Spain’s rightful claims. Furthermore they have never even attempted diplomatic solutions to what they apparently consider disputed lands.”
“Since the French force has remained in Iberia for a second season without the consent of Spanish authority they have been declared enemies of the state and shall be hunted down as such. In light of these developments, King Alfonso has come to the conclusion that the French King signed our offer of alliance under false pretenses, and has thus declared the alliance between our two people null and void. Moreover, he has declared France an enemy of Spain until such time that they withdraw all interest in Iberia and Spanish claims.”
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must rest for there has been little time for sleep as of late. In my absence, my younger sister, Lady Rivera, shall hold my spot in this court. She can answer questions and speak of Spain’s interest, but she will have to run official matters such as treaties by me first.”
Salvador, guides his sister to his usual seat, then departs the court for his quarters.
The Turkish ambassador turns to Lady Rivera.
Pomegranate?
Ooow, I love pomegranates
Lady Rivera picks one up, thanking the Turkish dignitary. Sitting back in her seat she eagerly eats away at the pomegranate while sipping a glass of wine.
Later that evening, a letter arrives from Spain. Accepting the letter in her brother’s stead, Lady Rivera opens and reads it,
“Oh my..............dear me.........how horrific.............I can’t imagine.......is that even legal to say...”
Finishing the letter and putting it down, Lady Rivera addresses the court,
“I have received important news from Spain, however it is presented in such gruesome imagery and foul language that I cannot relay it to you directly, so I shall endeavor to convey it in a more civilized and noble manner: The glorious general Vaasco of Spain has led the good and honorable people under his command into a heated dispute with the dastardly and barbaric-I mean the not so nice and a little dim people of France, under the leadership of the untrustworthy and not very noble Prince Louis. Upon the soft green Iberian fields the two congregations met at which point the cowardly heathens ran for their pathetic lives and were unceremoniously slaughtered-oops, I mean the French forces consented they were wrong and left this world to face judgment from their maker, IN HELL-or heaven.”
Faced reddened by here slip-ups, Lady Rivera takes a long gulp of water to hide her embarrassment, then continues,
“The letter goes on to say that King Alfonso was so pleased with the General’s negotiative prowess, that he adopted him into his own family. This is great news, everyone should be merry and drink...except for me...I’ve had enough... Oh, it also goes on to say that Spain does not hold interest in French lands and we need not pursue this transgression further, but should the French not sit down and formally negotiate, we may have little choice.”
A small man with a very young face, wearing an over sized fur coat and wearing an abnormal amount of jewelry runs into the room, out of breath, he pauses and weezes for a moment before straitening and looking around at the assembled court. He looks quite intimidated by the raucous conversion going on, but steps forward and begins to speak in a high, darting voice.
Bonsoir mes Amis!
I 'ope I find thee all well?
He pauses for a moment, but when there is no reply he goes on.
Je'mappelle 'ustice Francoise IIIX, I come bearing important words from France. Mon Roi, er, my former Roi has been discovered to be a fake.
He pauses for dramatic effect
It seems that the Roi has a twin brother 'ou had taken over the kingdom while the King went for a, shall we say, raucous vacation in the Paris' slums. This twin has ruled the French nation very badly indeed, even going so far as to start 'ostilities with our good friends the Spanish.
Well, with the true Roi in power once again, this all changes! France will now rise to be the greatest of all kingdoms, for as I'm sure we all know, God Loves France best! You are to ignore all actions taken by the French court over the last 9 years, and to please come with your offers and respects to the new French court, or to me I suppose...
After this anti climactic finish, Justice speaks up loudly at last for his final words
That is all!
He then quickly finds a seat and looks absolutely terrified by the stares of the many men around him, and even more so by the stares of the ladies.
Justice then leaps to his feet again
Oh yes, I forgot.
The pretender is slated for the guillotine this Sunday during mass, he will pay for disgracing France.
Having blurted these words out as quickly as he can Justice retakes his seat, scarlet faced.
Upon hearing Justice’s words, Lady Rivera jumps up and hurries out of the court and down the hall leading to the quarters. A few moments later Salvador appears with Rivera following close behind. Spotting the Frenchman, Salvador races across the room and lifting Justice out of his seat, embraces him in a hug,
“Sí, sí, hermano! Esta es una gran noticia y glorioso. ¡Salve plan divino de Dios!”
Releasing Justice, Salvador regains his composer and straightens his jacket which appeared to have been thrown on in quite haste. Meanwhile, Lady Rivera comes over and kisses Justice on both cheeks,
“I believe this is how you greet friends in France, yes?”
Before Justice can respond, Salvador speaks up,
“This is very great news. My Lord will be most pleased to hear that the former French Lord was an imposter. He was most distressed to think that a true French King could be as untrustworthy and foul as the imposter turned out to be. I shall, of course, send for a delegation with a formal alliance as soon as possible, but it will be a few seasons as it currently is in Italy.”
Before Salvador turn to go take his seat, he whispers to Justice,
“Make sure to save a good seat at Sunday’s mass for my Lord, I’m sure King Alfonso wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Shaking Justice’s hand one last time, Salvador turns and takes his sister to their seats.
Justice stands for a moment, looking stunned and with a dark red blush covering his face. His eyes follow Lady Rivera for a moment before he snaps out of it and begins to speak.
Ah, eh, yes, we will of course save a seat for the King... And something about an alliance... Ah yes, we would of course love to make an alliance with the good people of Spain. Our Kings can settle the agreement over the 'ead of the impostor, then 'ave it formalized when the delegation arrivé.
Justice sits again, with a smile creeping over his face, it is clear he is unused to such forward and kind treatment.
(Whoops!)
Alternate universe alter!
OCCSpoiler Alert, click show to read:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thanatos Eclipse
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
After being away from the court awhile—reportedly off touring Italy with his sister and some friends from back home—Salvador returns to the court most overjoyed;
“I have great news from Spain. For a few seasons now Iberia has been rejoicing under the unified and glorious rule of King Alfonso. On top of that, we have driven the Moorish fiends back to Africa to cower in their last remaining hovel. My Lord hopes with the final destruction of the Moors he can finally focus on these Glorious Achievements we all originally were called here for.”
Pope Gregory emerges into the Council!
and speaks!
"I heardby Excommunicate the Emperor and the Holy Roman Empire"!!|
Then the Emperor enters immediately after!
and speaks!
"I hearby Excommunicate Pope Gregory"
The Pope gasps!
And then in all his divine splendor strikes his staff upon the ground and says!
"With the power of Jesus Christ, let the Emperor be struck down where he stands!!!"
silent comes over the court...
The Emperor chuckles
and then mockingly strikes his sword upon the groun and says!
"With all the power of the Empire, let the Pope be struck down where he stands!!!"
with this command, 5 soldiers enter the council and ungracefully escort the Pope outside where he receives and unwelcomed fate"
The Emperor than addresses the council
"There is a new Holy Roman Pope", and bows extravagantly with a smear on his face and leaves with his soldiers.
I am glad you have had such triumphs, but I must ask, eh, my lord demands it, so don't yell at me, but, why this war against sicily? They seem to have done you no harm at all.
The old Turk rises to his feet.
Indeed, the German army seems to think it its right to strike at its neighbours with impunity. My Sultan strongly disapproves of such adventurism - cannot the Germans be satisfied with their current domain?
We express our support for the Normans and their fight for freedom and offer them refuge in our lands should they be forced to flee.
The old Turk dusts himself off and rises to his feet once more, causing a pair of pomegranates to roll off the table in front of him and fall onto the flagstone floor, splitting and spattering their blood-red juice on the stone.
I bring grave tidings this day - the Sultan Jalal of Rum has grown impatient with the German oppression of Italy and has formed a Triple Alliance with Egypt and Hungary to bring an end to the Holy Roman Tyranny.
Although there do not appear to be any Germans present to hear this, I formally declare war on the German nation and to this end the city of Naples has been placed under siege by the armies of Islam.
Inshallah we will free the Italians from their oppression and cast out the German menace before it devours the world.
Donne... Donne... arrapate Donne... in ogni luego... come si possa trattenere no dal fotterele... come si no possa... no lo posso... no lo posso...
Pulling up his pants quickly waving fotto you later to the court mistresses the Hungarian diplomat is entering the throne room.
Yes my friends... the Hungarian delegation had been absent for a while but no one else but the Italian delights are to blame for holding me back.
And yes my fellow friends from all around the world. It is true. The incredible alliance of the Magnificent Three has struck against the Imperial Forces of the north. In a preemptive strike brave men disembarked and took the castle of Ragusa in a coup de main. Hungarian forces are now besieging the city of Venice. If things are going well the city likely is falling next round. All the brave men of the Hungarian forces are desperately waiting to cut loose in Italian wine and women. Just like me...
Whoever is wondering or hating against the great alliance of Catholics and Muslim be told that the wise Hungarian king is looking past what divides. Muslim or Christian, brothers in the depth of their faith are standing united to stop the Imperial aggressor.
And even though neither trying the women nor the wine is allowed for my fellow Muslim emissary friends they are true brothers. Im making up for your lost in wine and women my Muslim friends. CIN CIN!
How... barbaric. I guess those stories my mum used to tell about the wild men of the East really are true.
Nasser stands up, grins broadly at the German diplomat.
"New blood, eh? Well, you're in for a surprise!"
He winks at the German, and begans to divide Italy up on the map into respective areas of the Alliance.
A mail clad man of about thirty years walks in the room, smelling of sweat and horse. He has the black eagle on a yellow field painted across his tabard and his stature is that of a giant, with tree trunks for arms and a great yellow beard adorning his face.
"The new Kaiser sends his regards and regrets his inability to be here, but war requires his presence elsewhere. Ein messenger has been dispatched to each of your sovereigns."
He seems more like a soldier than a diplomat, and he sits stiffly after his initial tirade. He nods slightly to the Iberian, English and French ambassadors and throws an evil eye towards the obscene Hungarian.
The old Turk scowls at the German.
You seem to have a poor grasp of recent history. This war is a result of the Kaiser's unprovoked aggression towards his neighours, including the people of Italy and his own spiritual leader the Pope. Aggression which we note he continues to display in his recent attacks on the armies and navy of poor Sicily, even as he demands that we parlay.
Until the Kaiser is willing to cease his oppression of Italy and withdraw across the alps our Triple Alliance will continue to wage war to achieve that objective. I urge his allies and those who have his ear to persuade him of the merits of this course of action.
The Germanic warrior stares at the Turk for a while, before speaking. "The previous Kaiser has abdicated due to health reasons and mein new prince has the word on this. He has found himself besieged by Hungary, Egypt and Turkey and the Sicilian navy had sailed North up to Genoa. Poor Sicilly should have considered guarding it's ports instead of attempting to ambush our merchants and the Imperial Armada!"
"As for returning North past the alps, Northern Italy is populated by loyal subjects of the Reich, and has been so for hundreds of years. And tell me, Turk, if we retreat who will then govern Italy? You present yourselves as liberators but yet here you are with swords and torches, ready to take Catholic land from Catholic hands. We shall not retreat North and abandon the good souls who live on this peninsula to be butchered and forced into abandoning the faith of Christ!"
The German knight raises his voice as he speaks and dangerous glares spark in his eyes.
"As for Hungary, I am told they are still considering their options. Perhaps they will see the error of their way and abandon their appetites for German land coated with Italian wealth"
We have no interest in governing Italy. Should we succeed inshallah it will be returned to its rightful owners the Italians themselves.
"And who are they? The Milanese and Venetians are long subdued, their Dodges exiled or executed trough the deeds of my predecessor. Their cities are now firmly rooted in our Empire. So Sicily shall then inherit all of Italy? And what is to stop them from continuing to push North into German lands once they get the richest cities in Europe for free? If a Sicillian-Germanic war breaks out, what will happen? Will you once again come with your veiled warriors and camel riders to "liberate" German lands? If we once again break Sicilly in two will you come as the dutiful watchmen to mend them and give them a third chance at playing war? What right have you, Muslim, to even walk the soil of Europe with sword in hand, acting as both judge and executioner?"
Yes it is unfortunate that the Kaiser decided to slaughter the Royal families of Milan and Venice such that they have no descendents left to reclaim their stolen lands. My Sultan would be happy to see the Sicilians in control of Italy, or indeed the Pope.
As to our right to interfere, we are here in response to a plea for assistance from the Sicilian King who feared that his line would be exterminated in the manner of the Milanese, Venetians and Danes before him. A plea which, sadly, was utterly ignored by the Catholic Kings of Europe.
I state again - we Turks have no desire to rule over Italy, we simply see a moral imperative in assisting the weak against the strong and aggressive.
The German knight seems annoyed. He takes off his reinforced gauntlets and scratches his neck, looking at the dirt beneath his nails with a solemn expression for a moment.
"Ja, it is most unfortunate. I have been part of both wars - they were like any other war. And the Venetian and Milanese Dodges were like any other rulers. You Turks hold Constantinople and have crippled the Eastern Romans. Should we perhaps raise our banners to "liberate and assist" their oppressed peoples? Orthodox Christians have lived there for twelve centuries!"
It becomes apparent why this knight, who appears first as a lacking diplomat, was chosen by the Kaiser. He lacks formal etiquette and eloquence but his mind is sharp.
"Und this business with answering please - Denmark did what they did, but now their lands are in French hands, ja? Why have you not sailed to liberate Scandinavia? Is it because It's not as profitable as liberating and sacking Italian cities? Und your liberation efforts, are they equal for all? If Sicily marches across Europe and knocks on the doors of Hamburg will you in turn aid us and punish them for taking too much land? Your arguments are lacking mein enemy."
I see no need to bring up the French occupation of scandinavia. Those people lived under a lawless despot who brutally attacked French trade lines and blockaded our ports. The people of Denmark now prosper under us.
"Ja, this is true. Und I suppose the Scottish monarch was also vanquished by the mighty England under similar circumstances. Ze question is, what determines who gets attacked by foreign armies for carrying out war in a civilized manner? Muslim armies liberating Italy make make as much sense as them "liberating" Denmark or Scotland or the former Moorish territories in Iberia."
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
OOC
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Neither the Danes nor the Scots explicitly requested our assistance in the way that Sicily has done.
And you are incorrect about us - we do not hold Constantinople and have never been at war with the Eastern Roman Empire. We have simply, up to this point, stayed within our own borders and wished to live peacefully with all men on earth.
It is sad that the Germans cannot admit their aggression which so endangers their neighbours.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
The old Turk addresses the gathered diplomats.
To our friends the Spanish, it is sad that you have entered into hostilities against us with no fore-warning. Indeed had you but asked we would have been happy to negotiate a fair price for your ownership of Naples. I state again for the sake of anyone who has forgotten - we Turks have no interest in Italy save that the Germans are nested there. We do not seek to rule that country and our quarrel is with the Unholy 'Roman' Emperor alone and none other.
We will gladly sign a peace with Spain should this be agreeable. Some small reparations for your unprovoked attack would be welcomed as a sign of good faith.
To the French who we notice have a force in Northern Italy - do not join this fight. In shallah we can remain friends and brothers, there is no need for you to be involved in this war.
We did not choose our involvement in this war Turk. The Egyptians chose that when they attacked a fleet of the Royal French Navy without provocation. We had informed them of the fleets intent of sailing back to france, but in their black hearts they attacked us. We shall not let this barbarous act go without retaliation.
The Turk once more, squinting through his spectacles.
Indeed in times of war there is much suspicion and fear. It is common for such things to happen and for conflict to arise without due cause.
I am certain that our Fatimid brothers would be willing to discuss terms with your King should you wish to avoid conflict. Retaliation is not the only means of securing justice.
Nasser stands, red with rage.Quote:
We had informed them of the fleets intent of sailing back to france, but in their black hearts they attacked us.
"LIES! FILTHY FILTHY LIES! You never sent the Sultan a message!"
The German diplomat picks something from behind his ear and examines it casually before flinging it. He is still dirty and covered in muck from riding straight from the battle lines.
"Gentlemen it seems to me that this war is unavoidable. Our good Catholic brothers have come to the defense of Europe and Hungary's advance has been halted at Milan. Any attempts at begging or demanding peace from your side seem acts of fear to me. Our brothers from France, which was once the Western part of Charlemagne's Holy Roman Empire, as we are still the Eastern one, were reluctant to engage in a costly war but you have proven to be nothing more than rabid dogs who hide behind talk of pure intentions.
The King of United Iberia and mine Kaiser's good friend and ally has sailed to our aid after completing his Reconquista. His men are seasoned and they have tasted victory against the followers of Mohamed. Followers, mind you, who invaded the Iberian Peninsula, a part of Europe, some several hundred years ago.
England is also sailing to our aid with mighty armies, as their citizens are pure and devout, and their nobility lusts for a chance at redemption and service in God's name.
You Muslims, with your preferred act of invading sovereign Catholic lands like locusts, have provided a perfect ground for an army of Unified Western Euorope. Sadly this army shall have to march trough Hungary, if only to root out the misguided nobility that rules it, so that it's citizens can be redeemed."
The old Turk shrugs.
If it is Allah's will then war it shall be. We do not fear it and will place our faith in the almighty to grant us victory.
Know that we did not want this and only sailed to Italy in response to a call for assistance. We wish nothing but to live in peace and without threat of oppression from aggressors. Sadly on occasion one must take up arms against such tyrants and in doing so fan the flames of war.
Salvador laughs at the Turkish diplomat,
"If you wanted peace so badly, maybe you should pick a better spokesperson for your alliance. It had come to our attention that Hungry had basically declared total war against the western nations [ooc: see silver's post in the main thread here], which kind of made the point of declaring war mute. If you really want peace, I'd suggest heading back to your own lands and leaving the foolish Hungarians to their fate. Although, I have a feeling that like us your not the type to abandon your allies just because the enemy asks nicely."
The Turk shrugs once more.
While I apologise for my extended absence, it is wrong to assume that our allies speak for us. We are their partners in battle but they are not our mouthpieces.
If you wish to know the Sultan's mind on any matter it is wise to ask him, or his representatives, directly.
Salvador storms into the court, holding a letter from his king out in front of him and arguing with it. "Apology? Apology! You call this an apology! Oh, the Lord told you to do it well that makes it all better...really? What kind of God would turn you against his own people? What kind of apology is that?" Salvador crumbles up the letter and screams, "Ahhhhhh!"
Calming down a little Salvador unfolds the parchment and continues reading, but is quickly riled up again, "History, history! Who cares what history is going to say, what do you think your own people are going to say? How can the armies follow such madness?!" Reaching the end of the letter, Salvador goes pale as all the blood drains out of his face. His anger instantly replaced by what can only being described as intense fear. Shaking, Salvador drops the letter on a table. In a quivering voice Salvador mumbles, "I've got to go back to the homeland," as he staggers out of the court.
After a few second of silence, nearby dignitaries pick up the letter that Salvador had dropped to read Alfonso's Apology.
The old Turk sniffs disapprovingly.
As peace-loving men of God this only serves to prove our suspicions about the warmongering nature of the western powers. May they turn on each other and destroy one another that we men of the east may live in peace together!
"Ah, my friend," says a raspy voice from one of the rooms dark corners, "this is not war..." a masked figure steps out of the shadows, "it's liberation."
"Unfaithful, I am a Follower of His Will and shall be representing the Lord's Will in this court of man until such time as He deems otherwise. The Lord has set His Sword, the Great Alfonso, the First-Follower, upon these lands to cleanse them of their wrongs. With His Sword in hand, the Lord shall cut through the darkness, bringing his warmth to all touched by his might. Praise Him."
The Turk looks even less convinced. Standing, he shakes his fist at the masked Spaniard.
Shaitan! Show not your face lest your trickery be revealed and your weasel words rejected! These weak-minded fools may have fallen for your glib seduction and they will burn alongside you for their idiocy but you will not sway the hearts of true believers.
Justice, the French diplomat, pales as the Spaniard speaks, his hands beginning to tremble. When the word Lucifer is mentioned he immediately falls to his knees and retches upon the floor. After a minute he awkwardly stands back up, brandishing a cross towards the Spaniard, although he appears to be too frightened to look at him. He then begins speaking, his voice stammering badly.
F'f'foul demon, how dare you befoul the name of the lord! The glorious people of French are and have always been the true servants of god, your n'nation and its king will be punished for their crimes. As a s'soldier of the God, and a k'knight of France, your p'p'punishment will come from m'm'e!
Justice then reaches behind him with his free hand and pulls a bejeweled dagger from the back pocket of his robes.
Fellow f'followers of God, join me in dispatching the world of this h'h'heretic!
Hand trembling, Justice begins to approach this new diplomat.
The Bavarian Knight who is the Holy Roman Empire's ambassador, looks at the Spaniard as if he had sprouted a second head with horns. His burly, mail clad body and thick (and somewhat dirty) blonde hair betray him as a simple soldier, but the cross on the hilt of his sword is unmistakably Catholic. "I am no Knight of the Teutonic Order, but I have served in the Levante. This is an afront to God, ein abomination far worse than Islam. I am certain though, that mein Kaiser would disapprove greatly of such betrayal."
His voice is low and resembles the rumbling of mill stones, and his tick brows shoot blood-shot daggers across the table. "Sit down Frenchman. This est ein meeting of heralds. There shall be time aplenty to fight on the field."
N'no! This is a demon, he cannot be allowed to live, we must kill it!
Justice continues to edge forward, appearing to gain a little more confidence having refused the older knight.
The Follower laughs, "But Roman, don't you wish to avenge the thousands of your brethren who have already fallen under the Lords sway?" The Follower turns towards the Frenchmen making no move to stop him, "Do not fear Frenchman, for I am a Follower of the Lord. Ascension waits for all His faithful."
Tho Follower tilts his head quizzically at the Frenchman as he hesitates in his advance once more, "I've always found it quite comical, the cowardice of dignitaries. They sit around leisurely, peddling cheap words and empty threats, while their brave countrymen bleed and die in their stead. Tell me Frenchman, what keeps you from joining your countless brethren on the Venetian fields, being slaughtered at this very moment by my Lord's Sword? What a hollow soul you are to be spared when so many betters already lie in the dirt?"
Justice's face blanches at the Spaniard's words, and his arm drops to his side.
How, how could that be the case, when so many men stand against so few, how could they be slain? How did you reach France's armies? But still, that is only the first wave, many times that many men are still no there way to bring justice to you.