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Since I have seen a vast number of these threads in the AoM fora, I thought it would be a great idea to open up a similar thread here, regarding R:TW.
1) When leaving your house, you make sure that your population is happy, to avert insurrections.
The one who posts the 100dth "way" wins a cookie. ;)
2) Begin wearing padded body armour on your back, under your shirt at the office just in case some of your colleagues forget that they're on your side.
3) At your desk in office, you start to arrange items around you in a neat square formation.
Pens and pencils facing outwards, staplers and hole-punchers behind, and you in the center of it ~D
you fear eating the cafeteria food in school in case a jealous rival decided to poison your food so your desk in home room is easier to capture without you there to govern it
4) When a bug crawls out and your mom or girlfriend tells you to kill it, you reply with "Sigh, let's hope the next patch will take care of it."
5) Holding your attache case over your head when going up flights of stairs.
6) When asked what your name is, you reply, John Doeii.
7) When you have a unatural desire to paint your face and give a war cry before an indoor soccer match.
Attempt to ungroup, form up, then re-group your family before pointing yourselves in the direction of the mall.
8) You deploy yourself in a corner at a party because you're worried about being flanked.
11) at the end of your buisness meeting "and at the last my brave fellow workers, i say this to you, STRENGHT & HONOUR TO YOU ALL!"
Upon leaving your meeting with the Senior Project Board you discover the only notes you have made are for your forthcoming invasion of Macedonia.
13) When you see flaming arrows in use in a film, you become annoyed and expect a large drop in frame-rates.
14) When engaging in a game of paintball with your mates, you're more afraid of friendly fire than you are being hit by the opposition.
15) Whenever anything gets on your nerves, doesn't fit, looks or seems stupid, you swear "When's that patch coming out?"
16) Whenever it rains, or anything falls down or flies past you, you shout "form testudo!" at your family.
17) You think the world should plant less food because that leads to population overgrowth and therefore squalor & unhappiness.
18) You think that cultural differences can be overcome by destroying everything in a foriegn country and rebuilding it to look just like yours.
19) You select new project team members on the basis of the influence they will have on your management ability.
20) You beleive that high taxation can make men impotent.
21) You try to convince your wife that hiring a secretary with nice legs and a short skirt is essential because of the benefits she gives you in monitoring staff unrest during coffee breaks.
22) In heavy rain you attempt to organise fellow umbrella bearers into a testudo to protect the rest of the bus queue.
George Bush plays Rome: Total War?Quote:
Originally Posted by Didz
21.When you go to a football match and see your team win you yell,
The day is oooooooouuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUURRRRRRSSSSSS!
sorry wrong numberQuote:
21.
23.You expect the queen to go around followed by preatorian guards.
24: You own a pet monkey
25. While driving slowly down a crowded freeway during rush-hour, you imagine yourself riding a war elephant, smashing through and scattering the tightly-packed enemy formation of vehicles...
26. Posting on this thread.... ~:)
GAH!
27) When asked to do something by your boss, youz reply "To hear is to obey!"
GAH!
28) You wonder why football games don't have an autoresolve.
mfberg
29:You've yelled/sworn really loud once after a defeat/CTD
When you get your yearly tax return so say...
"If this was my country, that taxes would be 100%!"
30. You wonder if that chess you have at home is historically accurate.
31. Instead of dreaming about your newest sex object, you fantasize about scattering and trampling legionaries from the back of a nine-foot (at the shoulder, of course) armored war elephant.
32. After your home team wins a game against a heated rival, you decide you want to use the "exterminate" option.
33. You feel compelled to yell "Stiiiinking ratss!" when letting loose with a particularly offensive fart.
34. The only dance move you can accomplish is a slight shuffle to the right.
35. You start training all the dogs in the neighborhood to duck under shields and go for the groin...
36. You actually believe you can tell your daughter to dump her fiance, because he isn't good enough, and expect: 1. No consequences. And 2. She will actually do it.
37. You seriously consider changing your religion to get more suitable bonuses and associates.
38. when a female relative visits you with a suitor, you exclaim "where's his stars an' scrolls then? why do you always bring back wastrels? bet he's got a "collects nazi pariphenalia" trait...honestly, how am I meant to command and mould this family? all i'll be able to do is send him round the badlands setting up watchtowers..."
39. You wake up and find yourself in to the town square with nothing but a stopwatch...
40 )
when going to a friends house you catch yourself thinking to first send in a spy, to open his gate and then also send in an assasin to kill al the family members
when you disagree with your math teacher about your grade, you trie to force him in accepting a protectorate status or else you'll attack
42. You end up in jail on multiple bribery charges...
43 you find yourself wandering round town centres, studying the pedestrians and exclaiming " but their pathfinding, even in congested urban areas, is excellent! I shall have use for these people in my war on King Porus.."
Only when testing out his diplomatic and foreign policy, his military strategy is based on playing Command and Conquer Generals. He still can't work out why the Iraq's aren't thanking him for all the new shoes he's shipped over there. ~;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Rodafowa
44.) when a car is coming twords you yell "form the phalanx"
45.)in a football game start screaming at the players to flank the enemy
46.)call all your your underlings a retinue
47.)during a test complain that your mathametition had recently died
48) As for 44) except that you suddenly realise you recognise the driver and so relax as even if the car ploughs right over you, you know it can't kill you and you can just get up dust yourself off and walk away.
49) Whenever you watch battle scenes for "Gladiator" or any Roman related battles, you say out "Been there done that" ~:)
50. You know more about Roman/Egyptian/Greek/Ancient Celtic culture than you do about current affairs.
51. When you demand your (more) successful (than you) neighbors kill their faction leader, er, father.
52) When u lay in ambush on ur colleague during tea break at e pantry!!! :hide:
53) Decide to enslave your competition's head office, as your corporate offices on the West Coast are undermanned.
54) When your family did not pick up the phone, you screamed "Failed to connect to host again!!!" :furious3: ~D
55) You only allow 20 minutes for each business meeting, and when your staff complain point out that Rome was captured in less time.
56) You believe the pampas grass in the garden is forming a phalanx.
57. When seeing elephants at the zoo you say ''let slip the hogs of war!'' ~:)
58) You think you could have done the battle scenes in movies better!
I've got a cure to Romeaphobia, too. Go play Half Life 2 and either a) you'll want to go back, in which case you're seriously in love with rtw, or b) you'll play that too much instead ;)
Or at least you adamantly believe that you do! ~;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Somebody Else
59. You hate egyptians. You fear barechested egyptians as only God know what amount of armour are they hiding.
60. You are repeatedly questioned by Trading Standards Officers after trying to sell local A-Z maps for a six-monthly tribute of £15000 for the next 20 years. You are confused when nobody takes you up on this offer.
61. You can reel off numerous military-related classical quotations from the loading screens
62. You've been playing Barbarian factions too much if you go out on a snowy day and can't understand why you're not moving faster and feeling more energetic
63. When playing Rugby, you head straight for the edge of the field with until you hit the boundary line, at which point you get confused and disappear under a pile of opposing players.
64. In a meeting at work, someone mentions retraining staff, and you immediately start grumbling about how overpowered and unrealistic it is, and how it should reduce their experience level
65. You asked for a bucket of tar and some pigs for Christmas.
66. You constantly complain about the Senate being full of crusty old men who should keep their noses out of other people's business. Oops, nevermind, that's probably alright...
When one of your family gets ill you quarantine them until they die/feel better
67) Whenever you see a lumberjack (aka, forester) you run for your life!
68) You attach a lighter at the end of your paintball gun and coat your paintball pellets in gasoline in an attempt to do more damage and lower the morale of your paintball oppositions . . . you succeed in both objectives.
69) U shout: "let losse the dogs of war!!!" when u see ur neighour's pet rotweiler
Whatever number is next.When you are on a horse and you see another rider approaching you attept to do a one-man cantabrien circle.
YOU SURE DO! ~;)Quote:
Originally Posted by aw89
71.)attempt to built ballista ask for a longbow for christmas and eventually get yourself grounded off RTW by playing way to much
true story :embarassed:
attempt to use assasin to blow up wallmart and lower population happiness
73) After you are done playing, and you go to bed in the late hours, you can still hear the sounds of battle and music crisp and clearly.
74) When you wake up in the morning, you can still hear the music.
75) You haven't played the game in two days because of work...you can still hear the sounds of battle...and the music.
76) you finally succeed in headbutting the monitor into a fine paste upon defeat/troops/a.i stupidity
77) You see your neutral neighbour's dog in your garden without military access, so you send a diplomat to bribe it before you realise you don't have any.
lol
78) When you beleive that the solution to civil unrest is to exterminate the population.
79) You go out into a field in the middle of winter with only a loincloth on, holding a large blue metal shield and sword and knowing that you won't get ill and die after crouching in the forest for hours waiting for the enemy to attack.
EDIT: Changed number from 78 to 79, sorry Didz, didn't see yours there.
80) When you accept that public order can only be maintained by having a strong secret police network.
81) When you beleive that the best people for public office are obviously the most powerful, rich and ruthless members of your society and preferrably those with a lot of combat expereince.
82) You begin to hallucinate, and instead of normal people walking around the street you see men and women dressed in exactly the same way, men in red tunics and women all in identical white dresses.
83) You attempt to mod the world to stop the US being so damn powerful!
84) Before every staff meeting you tried to bribe your boss's secretary to find out his budget
85) Everytime you want to make a point, your hand will grap the nearest straight object (pencil, pen, ruler, etc) and swinging it forward
86) When you find out your girlfriend is cheating on you...you parked your car in her lover doorway and began to ward of attackers from behind.
When playing monopoly, you think getting mayfair means you have a large city.
88) You insist on the waiter tasting your food in restaurants, just in case.