When holding a wickedly sharp knife in one hand, do not, on any account, attempt to catch the carrot you dropped in close proximity to it with the other hand - it's a messy recipe.
Anyone else do anything similarly malcoordinated recently?
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When holding a wickedly sharp knife in one hand, do not, on any account, attempt to catch the carrot you dropped in close proximity to it with the other hand - it's a messy recipe.
Anyone else do anything similarly malcoordinated recently?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Somebody Else
WOW bout the most random thing ive ever read did this happen to u:weirdthread:
While cooking earlier, I forget I had just opened one of the cupboard doors that hangs from the ceiling. I leaned over to get something from one of the lower drawers in the kitchen and you can guess what happened when I stood back up. I do something this stupid just about monthly.
:wall: :sweatdrop:
Don't try fixing a wedgie, while at the same time, switching your gear from "Park" to "Drive" or you might just lose driving privileges...:disappointed:
Sliced of my finger with a fridge a few months ago, beat that :embarassed:
:inquisitive:Quote:
Sliced of my finger with a fridge a few months ago, beat that
Never pick a coin out of a fire that is changing colour.
Never booby trap a tree by half cutting through a branch then try to test it by jumping on it.:no:
Foolishness?
Letting your two kids and their two friends play with clay in the house.
And this is just the sink where they washed their hands. You should see the kitchen table. :scared:
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...CJPN/LOGS3.jpg
Gosh, that looks like blood...:no:
I am sure the fun they had was worth it. (for them!)
Well another case of unspeakable folly, if you have to go with your boat under a bridge, make sure that the bridge is high enough.
Fragony = Fragony -2500 euro :wall:
Never throw Potassium Powder into a Bunsen Burner, with your friend standing close to the burner....I very nearly set him on fire poor lad...
Yes, but with a German Sausage...Quote:
Originally Posted by Somebody Else
I have a cut on the bit between my thumb and fore-finger...
When you cut a frozen American(aka big) muffin in two halfes, make sure you don`t have your finger directly below the knife.
I still have the scar; almost cut in to the bone(if didn`t).
My friend was taking me home and I yelled at a friend of mine, who is a girl. She's very attractive and just her name got my driving friend to look...
...He hit the car in front of him screwing the heck out of his liscence plate
Funny stuff...:laugh4:
Recently nothing major, but when I was a child I stabbed myself in the mouth with an arrow.
I can still feel the scar. :oops:
Never try seeing how much paper you can cut through with the razor from a pencil sharpener. I cut off the very tip of my left thumb, and have a scar there.
Don't fall off a theme park ride.
There's mine. :laugh4:
Don't ever shave naked whilst standing in front of a mirror that hangs directly above a very hot radiator.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big King Sanctaphrax
Ouch! I feel you comrade. Been there.
I'm not sure if this is just British wisdom or has been gained through personal experience. And I can offer neither sympathy nor empathy unil it has been made clear.Quote:
Originally Posted by Big King Sanctaphrax
Did you, BKS, my boss, my buddy, Lord of this your Kingdom of Peace & Love, shave naked in front of a mirror hanging directly over a hot radiator?
13,454 Org. members want to know.
Actually, I for one do NOT want to know.
I was working at a submarine sandwich shop as a teenager and was a little drunk. ( I was a baaaaaaaaaaad kid)
Anyway, as I went to slice this gentleman's sandwich in half, I simultaneously sliced into my left thumb. (very deep- still have the scar)
I ran into the back kitchen to wash my hand, leaving the sandwich there and telling no one what happened. It was so quick that no one saw or had any idea. "Cut and run" quite literally!
The scary part: The man had ordered a meatball sandwich and I shall never know what became of it, since no one knew why I scampered off...
I reckon he found it to be extra saucy that day.
Well I was an idiot this morning. My mistake was thinking while washing the top of a can of dog-food.:wall:
Now I have a great little cut nearly directly on the middle of my right thumb. Maybe it'll leave a scar to balance out the ones I have on my left thumb....
Never cook (American) bacon without a shirt on :wall:
Always use shaving cream unless you are using a small electric razor to do a few touch-ups :furious3:
Do not attempt to break up cat-fights (between cats, girls, or girl cats) :help:
Never stick your finger on a fork that's been left in a pot of pasta that's been left to boil/simmer for a few moments...:inquisitive:
:oops:
Don't take any dietary supplements because your wife says "You ought to take these." I forget what the evil substance was, but I fell over with a fever, my body turned bright red, and I wondered if I was going to die. When I recovered, I found that the stuff warned that all of this might happen in tiny print on a giant piece of paper folded inside the box.
This lemur has been very cautious about vitamins/supplements ever since. Now I wish I could remember what that stuff was ...
When shooting a pistol, never put your thumb on the hammer (tore my thumb off my hand when I was 15 and had to have it reattached)... Don't think I've shot a pistol since.
Oh so many:
Never check the chamfer on the piece of steel you just milled with your thumb - Lost tip of finger
Never cycle home after 6 double vodka's - broken shoulder
Never push your mums shopping down the conveyor belt in Tesco's - 3" Scar on right palm
Magnets on TV screens make pretty colours but don't do much for the picture afterwards - New TV
And not forgetting the old favourite, if it looks too high/far/heavy/wide/deep then it probably is.
In my defence most of these were when I was younger, let's hope age brings the much vaunted wisdom
Maybe the best, or worst, was someone I worked with:
When you wear a harness it's better to clip it on rather than fall 75 foot hitting a girder every 6 feet - Broken Back
never walk into to one of those automatic doors when theres a "closed sign" outside, it really hurts....
When driving around Greece in a bus two years ago with school whenever I stood up I hit my head on the bagage rack above me. Would have thought I'd learn after the first few times, but no.
Chap in my year skates a lot, but had grown somewhat during the holidays which changes the necessary technique. Not once, but twice when taking a bend he stabbed himself in the back of the foot with his other skate, the second time rather deeply; can't skate for a while now.
When replacing the power switch for the electric shower, always make sure there isn't a seperate fuse switch for it, maybe hidden up above the mains switch for the rest of the electric appliances. If you fail this simple test then at least don't pull the switch box over the exposed wires which brings them into contact with each other. If you fail that test then whatever you do, try and miss the sink on your way backwards across the bathroom....
Never place a suadering iron near a plastic gasoline can.
Always make sure the morter tube for fireworks is on a stable platform.
Never fire 2 artilery (fireworks) rounds off at the same time from the same platform.
Always make sure there are no drunken peoples with lighters near the bags of fireworks.
God bless the 4th of July.
Wise words. And the tube should be placed over the table leg (on the corner), if possible. This will lessen the "table bounce" when it goes, decreasing the Murphy factor when...Quote:
Originally Posted by BigTex
Depending on the platform and the launch tube, you can create slide-in secure slots for the tubes to keep them from falling over.Quote:
Never fire 2 artilery (fireworks) rounds off at the same time from the same platform.
:laugh4:Quote:
Always make sure there are no drunken peoples with lighters near the bags of fireworks.
No better way to show your love for your country than by blowing up a small part of it. Our arsenal from the 2002 festivities:Quote:
God bless the 4th of July.
https://img54.imageshack.us/img54/4946/before7uf.jpg
Pyros Unite!
Bet you could have put a downpayment on a car with all those fireworks. Lol and the 2.20 kilo shells will break most tables. We finally ended up using a large sheet of plywood with holes cut in them to go on top of the tubes and some metall weights to stabalize it.
countinuing with the theme never EVER point a roman candle at the police...
oh and yay TEXAS:2thumbsup:
We have finally gone with angle-iron frames, with 5/8" plywood with extra 2x4 support in the center for the tables. Steel pipe pieces welded at the corners allow us to slide them onto the steel pipe (smaller diam) legs, which slide into pipe pieces we secured in concrete. When we can get welder access, we weld launch tubes (1-7/8" interior diam, groups of 4) to base plates, this is heavy and stable enough for what we launch.Quote:
Originally Posted by BigTex
We can only do Class C works, and even those are frowned upon in my state. We thought about getting a Class B licence, but that's a lot of hassle, regulations, and opens you up to bigtime potential liability.
This would definitely by my foolishness. Going on ten years of this mayhem, and I can still count to 10 with my fingers. Been pegged a few times by strays, but what can you do? The show must go on. Keep the safety goggles on and continue firing.:2thumbsup:
As to the cost, well, it's just better not to speak of it... :shame: Thankfully, the good people at Phantom Fireworks give us the 2-for-1 special.
One time I was on my roof and I had a big knife and I threw an acorn at my little brother and I stabbed myself in the arm it wasn't pretty
Never walk through a door that is in reality a fantastically well-cleaned glass window. :skull:
:embarassed:Quote:
Did you, BKS, my boss, my buddy, Lord of this your Kingdom of Peace & Love, shave naked in front of a mirror hanging directly over a hot radiator?
At least I don't have any scars to show for it. When I buy a house of my own, I'm going to ensure radiators are not situated at crotch height.
Never leave a room that contains a toilet, you’re wallet and younger sister.
Or never let that same sister play with youre house/car keys (After a few months I found them, half buried in the backyard)
What?? You blow up your fireworks in the middle of the summer?? :gah:Quote:
Originally Posted by drone
I was just about to write: Never....blow...fireworks....summer...doesn`t show....
:inquisitive:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big King Sanctaphrax
I dont know if anybody would actualy like to see those scars, being "at crotch height" and all...:inquisitive:
...and all the women of England were on fire.Quote:
Originally Posted by SwordsMaster
Stanly knife, art class, blood.
You get the idea.
~:(
Just because something isn't burning anymore, it doesn't mean it isn't hot anymore.:oops: (Learned that the hard way when I was 6)
Never pretend to be stabbed by putting a real knife under your armpits - my cousin nearly cut off her finger when her younger sister tried to yank the knife away.:wall: