No double posting! Post replies that add on to the previous post sentence by sentence(one sentence to the story per post)
As for a start...
There was once a man living on the eaves of the Miarian Forest.
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No double posting! Post replies that add on to the previous post sentence by sentence(one sentence to the story per post)
As for a start...
There was once a man living on the eaves of the Miarian Forest.
He was a peculiar and mysterious man who lived with a repulsive baby troll that loved to eat little children as they walked by the path on the edge of the forest.
That is kinda warped...
This gave the forest a rather ominous name, feared by all of the surrounding villages, and even known as far as the Gelinor Mountains.
So it came as no surprise to Igor, knight in the Order of Waldor, when he received a letter of his liege, ordering him to bring him the heads of the mysterious White Man and his dark companion.
He felt compelled to accept the command but reserved nonetheless, the order seeme blatantly racist and baby eating could be quite relaxing.
However, after much thought, Igor decided to set off to capture the evil troll and it's horrible master.
It had been a while since his last serious quest and thus his journey started with the search for his valuable copy of "The manual for heroes - part III: Troll slaying", which he supposed to have put in an old, dusty coffin somewhere in his cold and grey castle.
Sadly for him he had been expelled from his castle by Mordread, the wicked sorcerer, the previous week for not going to the temple to deify the tyrannical and usurper lord of Kendermore.
Luckily for Igor, Mordread was busy at a CODATFWS (Conference of Discussion and Thought for Wicked Sorcerors) and so he had three days chance to avoid Mordread's evil guards and snatch his well needed manual from a hiding place deep within the bowels of the castle.
When he thought all was going well, A gaurd spotted him from down the hall when he was nearing the western gate.
Fast as the wind, his iron boots sounding like thunder during a heavy storm, the guard ran in Igor's direction, wielding a giant mace, causing the rusty knight to flee, terrified and yelling for his beloved mother.
After running through several dim corridors and passing through many large oak doors, he eventually collided with a sweet young maid named Margaret.
At that very moment, his mother, squatted gibbering in the corner of their mud-spattered cottage, screamed out again her daily curse: "May you die a thousand deaths, thrice-damned noodle-maker!".
But he fled with the girl and the Story blushes pink when she remembers the following scenes.
The beautiful maiden was taken back to Igor's (temporary) home for tea, biscuits and fresh dragon juice.
sadly, she was allergic.
...what has this story become!!!?
She had a severe reaction, and she died right then and there at his table.
i don't know? wat it has become she didn't have to die.
after the first 27 rounds of spirits, he joined her under the table.
I dearly hope you meant that he passed out, and thats how it enters this mess of a story.
He awaoke several hours later with a major headache to a knock at the door.
It was a Zweihander at the door
what the hell is that!
"go back to germany," our hero yelled, before burping out some of the nights hard liquor, flying towards the soldier and igniting on his fac
"Igor, please, don't mention the war", the fair maiden murmured.
Then, the Zweihander pulled out her hairpin, and started to swing her hair round and round.
still a little drunk our poor hero, collapsed into hte maidens hair and arms.
Meanwhile, from the safety of his isolated mountain keep, the nefarious Lord Mordread plotted how he would usurp the kingdom and begin a new age of terror throughout all the land.
the fair warrior who held our hero was not intrested in allowing that to happen, afraid of the end of christmas,
...
"Weihnachten!", yelled the Zweihander and he remembered a roasted deer was waiting for him and thus he dropped Igor and the maiden's hair and runned away.
Igor leaped to feet, grabbed his weapon, and shut the still open door.
The maiden asked, "what was that all about?"
" I dont know" Igor turned around to look at her, surprised she was concious.
It was then that he noticed with growing horror the bloody stiletto she clutched in her hands.
Thus, he took off his shirt to make himself irresistible.
...............She plunged a dagger into her chest to escape the horror that was Igor. (he is far from handsome)
"Egads!" Igor cried, fleeing from the scene hastily.
Later that night, a passerby noted the scene and repoted it to the police, who knew Igor lived there.