From gay to “Completely Heterosexual” in just 3 weeks

Well it appears that the Reverend Ted Haggard https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...ard_(ROAE).jpghas gone thru 3 weeks of intensive counseling and is now “Completely Heterosexual”. Incase you don’t remember, this is the guy that was the president of the NAE and Sr. pastor of the New Life Church, who was openly against gays and turned out to have had a romp in the hay with a "former" male prostitute.

So what do you think, can someone be gay then be “counseled” to be straight?

link to the story

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Haggard Now "Completely Heterosexual"
By Associated Press

DENVER - One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual."

Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition.

"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Ralph said the board spoke with people close to Haggard while investigating his claim that his only extramarital sexual contact happened with Mike Jones. The board found no evidence to the contrary.

"If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly," he said. "We're into this thing over 90 days and it hasn't happened."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by yesdachi

Well it appears that the Reverend Ted Haggard https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...ard_(ROAE).jpghas gone thru 3 weeks of intensive counseling and is now “Completely Heterosexual”. Incase you don’t remember, this is the guy that was the president of the NAE and Sr. pastor of the New Life Church, who was openly against gays and turned out to have had a romp in the hay with a "former" male prostitute.

So what do you think, can someone be gay then be “counseled” to be straight?

link to the story

---

Of course they can. I myself was born a short, brown-eyed, black-haired, asian woman. After years of intense psychotherapy, I am now a 5'11", blue-eyed, blond-haired, white male.

He's got nothing on Jesse Jackson's three day 'retreat from the public eye'.

Quote:

---

So what do you think, can someone be gay then be “counseled” to be straight?

---

Possibly. He is, of course, more biased to say it worked.

CR

And here I was hoping this guy would just accept the consequences of his actions and gracefully withdraw from the public eye. Guess my expectations were a bit too high. Well, at least now there's more potential for future entertaining scandal.

Ajax

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by yesdachi

So what do you think, can someone be gay then be “counseled” to be straight?

---

I've counseled several women with great success.

I did have one failure, but it was group therapy, and well worth the effort.

A more interesting question would be how well Haggard's claim is being received by its intended audience, the Christianist right. Not radical Catholics, mind you, but the more traditional protestant mega-church crowd.

I never knew that Beirut was really Austin Powers ...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Beirut

I've counseled several women with great success.

I did have one failure, but it was group therapy, and well worth the effort.

---

I wasn’t talking about them making you… straight. :laugh4:

Amusing/disturbing video of Haggard discussing how good sex is when you're an evangelical.

And to think all this time the "cure" to being gay was spending 3 weeks with 4 priests. The fashion and interior design industries will be ruined.

"Whips & Chains" :whip:
-Cults Across America game card

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lemur

A more interesting question would be how well Haggard's claim is being received by its intended audience, the Christianist right. Not radical Catholics, mind you, but the more traditional protestant mega-church crowd.

I never knew that Beirut was really Austin Powers ...

---

Excuse me, but what the **** does that link have to do with the discussion, besides being from a biased and leftist organization, being exaggerated and more incorrect than not?

Quote:

---

I wasn’t talking about them making you… straight.

---

I don't know if Beirut was either.

CR

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Goofball

After years of intense psychotherapy, I am now a 5'11", blue-eyed, blond-haired, white male.

---

I always thought you would be taller...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Papewaio

I always thought you would be taller...

---

I want to be taller.

That's why I'm continuing with the therapy.

of course he is....:juggle2:

one more week and he won´t be doing crystal meth anymore either....:laugh4: :oops:

Awesome!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by yesdachi

So what do you think, can someone be gay then be “counseled” to be straight?

---

Yes they can, however that did not happen in the fraud that is Haggard. Not a valid implication to attach this particular fraud case to a generalization.

Not possible, sexuality is based on the brain and cannot be changed unless someone was to get a new brain. Besides, with this guy's doctrine, he seems more like a brain donor.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by IrishArmenian

he seems more like a brain donor.

---

Hey, that is very cruel of you to think.(judging from Lemur's video)

About the rest I agree with GoreBag.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Husar

About the rest I agree with GoreBag.

---

I was going to add that I hate his face, but I couldn't find an eloquent way to do it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit

Excuse me, but what the **** does that link have to do with the discussion, besides being from a biased and leftist organization, being exaggerated and more incorrect than not?

---

No likey the linky? Southern Poverty Law Center part of the Liberal Elite Conspiracy? Accusations of inaccuracy with no supporting data?

Dude, you are so heterosexual. Stop worrying.

Maybe the doctor told him to think about She-males while he was doing his wife.

He just has a face that screams Homosexual. I didn't think there was such a thing in existance. But between his weasely blue eyes, and his Horse Teeth Grin... all I can think about are Pretty Silk Handbags, and plad jumpsuits.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lemur

No likey the linky? Southern Poverty Law Center part of the Liberal Elite Conspiracy? Accusations of inaccuracy with no supporting data?

Dude, you are so heterosexual. Stop worrying.

---

Never said I was worried - twas you who brought that up, perhaps subconsiously giving away your fear? ~;p

And after the SPLC accused the minutemen of being hateful racists, I lost any respect I had for them.

Be interesting to see what he does with his life.

CR

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lemur

Amusing/disturbing video of Haggard discussing how good sex is when you're an evangelical.

---

I have the feeling that if those men's wives were to be asked the same questions, the answers might just vary a tiny little bit, eh...

All speculation, of course...

Quid

Quote:

---

And after the SPLC accused the minutemen of being hateful racists, I lost any respect I had for them.

---

Errrrrrr....don't you mean when they identified some members of that group as also belonging to two neo-nazi and white supremacist groups and also noted that they handed out those groups hate filled literature while they were being minutemen you lost any respect for them .

Now paint me pink and call me Haggard if my mind works in a strange way , but wouldn't it be more rational to lose respect for a group that contains racist scum rather than a group that identified racist scum inanother group .

How long until he becomes completely homosexual again (without therapy)?

1 week?

What? Y'all presented with an honest to goodness miracle here, and you can't see it? Praise the Lord, he's been cured.

That is, if he was ever homosexual in the first place. The only evidence is that he had sex with a man. I say that "It was the acting-out situations where things took place." See? he was in an acting out situation, not having gay sex. Its all clear to me now.

Hallelulah

BTW has any other UK poster noticed the remarkable resemblance to the also-not-bisexual Michael Portillo?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by English assassin

What? Y'all presented with an honest to goodness miracle here, and you can't see it? Praise the Lord, he's been cured.

That is, if he was ever homosexual in the first place. The only evidence is that he had sex with a man. I say that "It was the acting-out situations where things took place." See? he was in an acting out situation, not having gay sex. Its all clear to me now.

Hallelulah

BTW has any other UK poster noticed the remarkable resemblance to the also-not-bisexual Michael Portillo?

---

Portillo meets Ace Ventura possibly? With some Bible thrown in.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by English assassin

BTW has any other UK poster noticed the remarkable resemblance to the also-not-bisexual Michael Portillo?

---

:yes:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

http://i4.ebayimg.com/01/i/06/74/c3/da_1_b.JPG

All I can think of whilst following this thread is the Rocky Horror Picture Show and the song:

"In just seven days, I can make you a maaaaaan".

:lips:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Dr. Frank-N-Furter
A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds
Will get sand in his face
When kicked to the ground
And soon in the gym
With a determined chin
The sweat from his pores
As he works for his cause
Will make him glisten
And gleam, and with massage
And just a little bit of steam
He'll be pink and quite clean
He'll be a strong man
Oh, honey!

Chorus
But the wrong man

Dr. Frank-N-Furter
He'll eat nutritious, high protein
And swallow raw eggs
Try to build up his shoulders
His chest, arms, and legs
Such an effort
If he only knew of my plan
In just seven days

Chorus
I can make you a man

Dr. Frank-N-Furter
He'll do press-ups and chin-ups
Do the snatch, clean, and jerk
He thinks dynamic tension
Must be hard work
Such strenuous living
I just don't understand
When in just seven days
Oh, baby
I can make you a man

Hmmm... Somehow I don't think Tim Curry would go for a person like him. He doesn't look innocent enough.

Well theres a medication I've heard advertised on the radio, Nodicatol that cures homosexuality rather quickly, be cautious though if accidentally given to a female it turns her into a lesbian.

Anyways heres a link to the station

http://www.fm99.com/index.asp

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by IrishArmenian

Not possible, sexuality is based on the brain and cannot be changed unless someone was to get a new brain. Besides, with this guy's doctrine, he seems more like a brain donor.

---

Counselling + medication can treat or cure all sorts of mental disorders based on the brain without the patient needing a new brain.

Although Haggard in particular is a lost cause.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Navaros

Counselling + medication can treat or cure all sorts of mental disorders based

---

:no:

Am I the only one having a problem with calling homosexuality a mental disorder?

:balloon2:

"Homosexuality" was scientifically proven to be a mental disorder and listed as so by the DSM until they removed it in the 1970's solely due to political pressure.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Navaros

Counselling + medication can treat or cure all sorts of mental disorders based on the brain without the patient needing a new brain.

Although Haggard in particular is a lost cause.

---

I thought you said homosexuals were sinners who deserved to fry in hell. How could somebody with a mental disorder be responsible for their actions?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by yesdachi

Well it appears that the Reverend Ted Haggard https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...ard_(ROAE).jpghas gone thru 3 weeks of intensive counseling and is now “Completely Heterosexual”. Incase you don’t remember, this is the guy that was the president of the NAE and Sr. pastor of the New Life Church, who was openly against gays and turned out to have had a romp in the hay with a "former" male prostitute.

---

Thank you, Lord, for providing us with ever new entertainment. :laugh4:

I'll never be able to hear this story without hearing somebody's post (I think it was DevDave, but it might have been Gorebag, I forget) that "Hey, smoking crystal meth with and receiving a full body massage from a gay prostitute doesn't mean that you're a homosexual necessarily". :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tom_Hagen

I thought you said homosexuals were sinners who deserved to fry in hell. How could somebody with a mental disorder be responsible for their actions?

---

Hehe.

The response to that is going to be interesting.

I'd have commented but the

Quote:

---

Although Haggard in particular is a lost cause.

---

line made me giggle.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Dutch_guy

:no:

Am I the only one having a problem with calling homosexuality a mental disorder?

:balloon2:

---

No, you're not alone. I just sometimes find rolling my eyes in reality to be just as efficacious as doing so with a smiley:rolleyes: :rolleyes2: :rolleyes3: :rolleyes4: :rolleyes5: :freak: ; plus it makes for less spam posting.

Ajax

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tom_Hagen

I'll never be able to hear this story without hearing somebody's post (I think it was DevDave, but it might have been Gorebag, I forget) that "Hey, smoking crystal meth with and receiving a full body massage from a gay prostitute doesn't mean that you're a homosexual necessarily". :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

---

It was MRD. I had it siggied for a while...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tom_Hagen

I'll never be able to hear this story without hearing somebody's post (I think it was DevDave, but it might have been Gorebag, I forget) that "Hey, smoking crystal meth with and receiving a full body massage from a gay prostitute doesn't mean that you're a homosexual necessarily". :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:

---

That was me, and i still don't think he was gay. So yeah, he's cured.

An opinion from someone who's a little bit ... closer ... to the situation:

The prostitute who first exposed Evangelical minister Ted Haggard as a closeted gay man and crystal meth user has responded to Haggard's claim that he has successfully completed three weeks of "ex-gay" counseling.

In response to Haggard's statement, Jones giggled and responded "Well, that's the quickest therapy I've ever heard of. It's hard for me to imagine someone who is performing oral sex and saying that he is 'straight.' That just doesn't jive." If you were to ask me 'Do I think is Ted haggard gay?' I would have to say 'yes'," he added.

In response to one of Haggard's counselor's claims that Haggard's activities were not a "constant thing," Jones explained that he could only speak to the time he spent with Haggard and that had an ongoing sexual relationship with the minister and that their time together "indicated a gay man to me." Jones also shared that he had heard from two other individuals that claimed they had encounters with Haggard.

"One time don't a gay make.
Or two."
- popular army joke around here

Just showed this clip....

Quote:

---

Amusing/disturbing video of Haggard discussing how good sex is when you're an evangelical.

---

to the wife , she didn't know who Haggard is or what the story is .

He verdict from that clip "what a screaming queen , who is he trying to kid or is he talking about evangelical buggery when he says its great "