Printable View
Wow it has been ages since I last logged on and I thought what better way than to start with one of my favourite posts
You know you have lost the war when... You order your cavalry to charge, they all charge, then all die, because they attacked tanks
Always use camels when attacking tanks. Everyone knows that. :inquisitive:
You have lost the war when... you are all dead never stop fighting!
...the real snow starts and you're nowhere near Moscow yet.
:egypt:
you know you've lost the war when your best general defects to the enemy.
...gunpowder's invented and you're still fighting King Tut's endless hordes:egypt:
You know you've lost the war when you defect to the enemy.
Even if you're only a diplomat. :beam:
When the enemy ruler has you on the chopping block before him, with an axe raised...
...when you use camels, because they suck.
EDIT:Big time.
.... when one man looks to his left and only sees the enemies flags
when your fighting against 300 fully built men wearing nothing but red capes screaming FOOOORRRR SPPPARRTTAAA!!!!
Thats when you know you are totally screwed.
...you've got Austria-Hungary on your side.
Just turn around and go home when your diplomat gets kicked down a well. Save yourself the hassle.Quote:
Originally Posted by RoadKill
When you see the marrige movie in M2TW and wonder where the heck you got all those soldiers.
:laugh4:Quote:
Originally Posted by mrdun
Not to self : Do not ask Leonidus for water and land.
...When your king and your heir are both killed by wardogs in one battle
...When you lose a battle to an army with "Arses" in command
...When you fight against Motep
...When you are allied to Motep ( :grin2: )
...When you are an ally of a nation fighting Motep
when your vast horde of spearman cannon fodder from the bronze age destroys one tank. And that tank belonged to Ghandi who lives on top of a mountain fortress. And Ghandi is the only one who has the uranium resource and you built the Manhattan Project to try to nuke Ghandi out of there.
Curse you, Ghandi!!! (on Diety level from Civilization II)
... You start posting on a forum about that new little new game you think should manage to occupy you for a month or so.........
Haliburton says "no" to your latest contract proposal.
who is Haliburton?
...when you've retreated to your last city, your denarii are in red and 4 digits, and your faction heir has the plague.
...You pick Pontus
heh...Quote:
Originally Posted by mrdun
... when your best general has no command or influence, but he does have 3 intelligence!:brood: ...stupid romans with their orgies and whatnot...
When your to proud to admit defeat and do this https://i206.photobucket.com/albums/...b_b/stupid.jpg
for death and glory.:charge: ~D
When Dick Cheney buys Haliburton? :sweatdrop:Quote:
Originally Posted by Seamus Fermanagh
You know you have lost the war when you have a feeling that you should stop your current campaign and search for some mods.
When your enemy sends pheasnts at your best army..and wins...easily.
When the best troops you can field are Eastern Infantry...
When the Roman Expansion reaches you're borders.
When a guy wearing nothing but his birthday suit and a grin on his face can beat you're well trained roman legionaries (geastate from eb)
When you're facing an epic sized wall and all you have to climb it are Phalanx units.
When Creative Assembly releases a new Total war game, which has a new AI, that is capable of defeating world champion in chess in 5 turns, which uses ambushes and flank attacks in each battle, as well as luring your units into traps, makes use of neat diplomacy to unite all the world against you in the campaign, AI, that knows the weaknesses of human mind, and predicts your movements. Sometimes it pretends to be weak or beaten, just to launch a new attack, after it has fooled you. And that happens on "easy" difficulty settings.
AI also learns from it's mistakes and becomes more and more clever with each campaign, so, even if you learn to play the game very well, AI has learned even more by that time.
Yeah, you are pretty much doomed.
Yeah but knowing CA, I don't think thats going to happen :laugh4:Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbarian
Ahhh, I love Panzer General...Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramses II CP
...you see a cute little, red-haired viking boy rubbing his nose on the OTHER side of the battlefield...
When you build up armies to beat the Mongol Hordes...and said army is beaten.
In three turns.
you forget to press the pause button before going to the loo and the battle is going to decide the control of your last city :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall: :oops:
You are the most adept swordsmen on the planet, you belong to a company of soldiers even a spartan looks small to, you have the greatest of all great generals commanding you...
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
when warband is 2 units of leginaries :furious3: :furious3:
When your adviser give you his resignation, and asks for a letter of recommendation for your enemy.
When, after a decisive battle, you wake up in a camp, which is full of people, who talk in some strange foreign language.:dizzy2:
Question: suppose you were Seleukid fighting Ptolemaioi? both spoke Greek.:yes:Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbarian
well, one knows when they lose the battle when one of the following occur:
1-one finds he's cowering behind the capital's wall, and under a bunker and commits suicide with Cyanide and a pistol:skull: :skull: .
2-your best general's head is on the lance of a pantodapoi, or other peasant.
3-your city/ best army is now a crater.
4-when ten stacks of one's best soldiers are slaughtered by a single UNIT of inepreienced and untrained patodapoi/ peasants.:wall: :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall: .
5-the leader wakes up (or dug up) after a decisive batlle and hears tanze-metal.
6-Khalid ibn-alwalid is your enemy:help: (see wikipedia).
7-I'm your enemy:laugh4: ~;) .
8-the 300 are your enemy.
9-the death star is your enemy.
10-Dick Chaney is appointed advisor.
11-one has sligers and the enemy has Tiger tanks or M1A1 Abrams tanks.
12-the leader requested a red shirt and brown pants with a gold front.:laugh4:
13-when you have an appointment with Armin Meiwes (look up on wikipedia too).
14-you hear the breathing of darth Vader.
You know when you have lost the war when...
You see the defeat screen.
LOL..Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikeus Caesar
Dang it! missed that one....
...theres a large wooden horse being dragged into the city!
When the enemy has a guy that wears a red cape, can fly, and has lasers for eyes.
...when you find yourself watching a repeat of poirot. :shame:
Who is Poirot? would that be the detective?Quote:
Originally Posted by mrdun
...when enemy's arrows blot out the sun
When you hear that someone has kicked one of your diplomats down a well.
...you are more bothered about school work than playing the game.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quixote
You know you've lost when you the allies facing me on D Day on Panzer General. I think the Allies had a army of two million if I rember correctly.
If history went like that game, they would of lost all 2 million men, and there entire airforce.
AI in wargames tend to suck LOL
..Brennus decided he likes Rome and will not accept a bribe.
when your killed...by friendly fire:rolleyes:
That actually happened to me.... as the Julii I abandoned Iuvavum because it was just plain crappy, but instead of turning rebel it became a Dacian town with a whole stack of gold-chevroned peasants with silver weapons. Set me back for at least ten years, that did. :furious3:Quote:
Originally Posted by Genaral Julis
your mearly hear them say they check norris on there side, and a mexican baby flys infront your face from the distance, them you see your reinforcement flying over head, and then some wierd fog with a tiny dark bit at the front of it, then you know its all over
You defeat a huge army of triple gold chevron cataphracts and Urban Legionaries, then it says "Level 2" and 3 triple gold chevron yubtseb elephants, 9 triple gold chevron Urban Legionaries, and 5 triple gold chevron cataphracts appear up