Larry

Larry the Thief

Larry was a thief, and not a very good one either. In fact, Larry lived off of prison food and beggar’s findings because he could never steal enough to feed himself. Larry had no noble reasons to be a thief; no starving family or friend’s widow to support. Larry just loved the thrill of thievery, and hated the toil of honest labour. Luckily for him, he lived in a city where the thieves far outnumbered the honest men and women. Rome presented him with unlimited opportunity to steal the wealth of others…and unlimited opportunity to be executed if he was not careful.

Larry had just been released from prison after he was caught stealing and cooking a wealthy family’s cat. Now he was really in trouble, as he could not count on the free meals he was getting in prison anymore. To make matters worse, the city had started forcing those in prison into the gladiatorial games, so whatever Larry did next, he could not be caught. Luckily for him, he had a good tip from a fellow inmate on a rock solid opportunity.

The daughter of a wealthy patrician had just died, and her funeral was the day Larry left prison. Her father was a caring man and loved his daughter dearly, so he planned an extremely expensive funeral for her. When the procession reached the forum where she would receive her oration people would be distracted and he could pick their pockets at will. Unfortunately the loot that would accompany her to her burial would still be guarded outside by a few armed men.

Larry spent his day scoping out the forum and waiting till dusk. After what seemed like days, he finally saw the procession slowly moving toward him through the streets. He hid behind a column and waiting for them to approach. After nearly an hour everyone was assembled inside and the oration began. As Larry crept from the shadows to do his cunning deed, he could not believe that his friend (who was released from prison the same day as him) would not take advantage of this opportunity himself. All these fat, undeserving rich patricians standing around ripe for the picking. It was just as well, because his friend was a powerful and influential criminal, and Larry needed the money far more than he.

Larry crept up behind a lazy, pompous nobleman and deftly cut his purse strings. Creeping silently behind the crowd, he did this to three more noblemen, filling his sack with more wealth than he had ever possessed. To reach anyone else, he would have to risk braving the light of the torches, and that did not appeal to him. Larry decided to call it a day and walk away with his ill-gotten goods as a young, weeping lady’s gleaming jewelry caught his eye. That he thought must be worth more than all the gold in his sack.
Silently he slinked up behind her, and with care slipped his fingers around her necklace’s clasp to unfasten it. She turned around and swatted as if shooing an insect away when her eyes met his. She let out an ear splitting shriek and hastily backed away from him. As the entire room trained their attention on Larry, he bound outside with the guards and some of the assembly following him. As the men guarding the goods destine to be buried with the deceased joined the chase, Larry’s friend and a few of his men moved in quietly and made off with the treasure.

After hours of running and many close-encounters Larry finally lost the guards pursuing him. Luckily for him he had lots of previous practice running from armed men. Larry could not believe that his friend would have betrayed him so and used him as bait. Worse still, Larry had to drop his loot in order to escape the guards. He walked about the bustling city center, dejected and depressed, contemplating the unfairness of life. He would not allow himself to be treated so unfairly! He would not go to bed tonight empty-handed! He would find opportunity of his own!

A deviate smile split Larry’s face as he caught sight of a blind old man begging alone in a corner. He would have the last laugh this time.