The Full Monty: Simpsons Mafia [Concluded]

[Yoyoma1910]

"Your ...Judge-guy-ness,

I object. I object to this onslaught of votes in my direction. Citizens of Springfield, I beg you listen to reason for a moment. I will show you that this, "idea" of my "guilt" is the biggest fallacy of words since "The Never Ending Story."

It is true that in an earlier episode of this series, The Simpsons, I Lionel Hutz, attorney at law, was out of work, and pulled a switchblade while being abruptly awoken from gentle slumber.

But please understand, I am something far, far more "evil" than a "Mafia," I am a Lawyer! What good is it to me to represent dead clients? I have already tried that.

And so, I ask you, kind, and intelligent citizens, why waste your vote on something as lowly and despicable as a lawyer? Would it not be more satisfying, now that you've exposed me to the eye of those with blood lust, to let these dogs of the night, devour me in my sleep? Wouldn't it? Have them chew upon my long usless liver? Hang my disembodied bowels from the town's flag pole?"


Take a swig from a bottle of whiskey.

"Wouldn't it? And would it not serve you better to vote for someone more likely guilty? What does the five fingered god mean when he says this:"

Where was Mayor Quimby? Surely he could sort out this mess. But unfortunately the Mayor did not speak up.

"why wouldn't the mayor hang one of the Mafia? Maybe because he is one of the mafia! I therefore, inplore you, members of the jury of this kangaroo court to join me in voteing:Mayor"Northnovas"Quimby.


I will also give anyone who changes their vote, not only a free smoking monkey toy, but also a free pizza! If anyone is interested, I'll be in my office, in the back alley by the dumpster."





*"Pizza" does not actually include pizza, but may or will include some or all of the following: pizza box, grease, pepperoni scraps, cheese bits, sausage ends, corn meal, flour, rat tails, bell peppers, mushrooms, sausage ends, and other materials not necessarily suitable for human digestion. By reading this post, you remove all liability from the poster for the contents herein.