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Thread: Perverted general...?

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    Member Member General_Someone's Avatar
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    Question Perverted general...?

    While playing my English campaign, I was forced to use my least favorite general. He had a lot of dread so I decided to listen to the speech, and this came out ....."And if you should happen to come across a particularly lovely young woman in need of my protection-well, scrub her clean and send her to my tent! Battles give me two things: a powerful thirst.....and the horn. Let's to this lark then lads!" I think my general became a pervert
    Sorry for no pic, can't get it to work
    It is well that war is so terrible — otherwise we should grow too fond of it- Robert E. Lee

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  2. #2
    Member Member WhiskeyGhost's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    if he has the "Sexually Liberated" trait, then yes, he is =)


    "Don't mind me, i happen the have the Insane trait....." -Me

  3. #3

    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    The horn, he he. He should have the trait
    Arroused by Battle: -1 to your general's hitpoints
    "This general often has to remove a portion of his armour due to.... discomfort."

  4. #4
    Ranting madman of the .org Senior Member Fly Shoot Champion, Helicopter Champion, Pedestrian Killer Champion, Sharpshooter Champion, NFS Underground Champion Rhyfelwyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    For some reason in my Venetian and Byzantine campaigns every General (no exaggeration) began as 'liberated', and ended up 'debauched'. I don't remember hearing those speeches though. Every speech just seemed to tell me about the enemies cannon and the devils farts.
    At the end of the day politics is just trash compared to the Gospel.

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    Member Member WhiskeyGhost's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Caledonian Rhyfelwyr
    For some reason in my Venetian and Byzantine campaigns every General (no exaggeration) began as 'liberated', and ended up 'debauched'. I don't remember hearing those speeches though. Every speech just seemed to tell me about the enemies cannon and the devils farts.
    sorry, it was a joke about how the trait is labeled. It's labeled as "Perverted", so if you wanted to modify via cheats someones stats, you'd enter "give_this Perverted 1" to make him liberated. Unfortunately, that trait has a self perpetuation (in vanilla anyways) so eventually if your unlucky enough, he will have the worst possible one, which takes away 4 piety, 2 authority, and 5 from public order.

    I think guys with the 'insane' traits often have some humorous pre-battle speeches


    "Don't mind me, i happen the have the Insane trait....." -Me

  6. #6

    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Hehe I'll have to look out for him, what is his name?

  7. #7
    Knight of Fable... Member Mek Simmur al Ragaski's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    But in truth it is historically accurate, if you captured a town in medieval times the generals were likely to allow soldiers to pillage the town, burn things, loot gold and have all the women you could ever want...
    'It is not anger that drives me to destroy the Egyptian empire, but the promise of gold, a throne, and of all the ruling Pharaoh's concubines in a single night'
    -Me sacking the Egyptian cities...

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    Auspicious Interceptor Member YellowMelon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Shows how much of a SP noob I am, I didn't even know traits influenced the speeches! Too much MP and I forget the intricacies...back to SP for a while then

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    Member Member Forlorn Hope's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Quote Originally Posted by ReiseReise
    The horn, he he. He should have the trait
    Arroused by Battle: -1 to your general's hitpoints
    "This general often has to remove a portion of his armour due to.... discomfort."
    Haha
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    Heaps Gooder Member aimlesswanderer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Quote Originally Posted by General_Someone
    While playing my English campaign, I was forced to use my least favorite general. He had a lot of dread so I decided to listen to the speech, and this came out ....."And if you should happen to come across a particularly lovely young woman in need of my protection-well, scrub her clean and send her to my tent! Battles give me two things: a powerful thirst.....and the horn. Let's to this lark then lads!" I think my general became a pervert
    Sorry for no pic, can't get it to work
    But this is much better than him saying "All animals are to be unharmed, bathed and gathered for my further perusal after the battle...."!!
    "All things are born from darkness, and all things return to darkness". Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind


  11. #11

    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    I really do wish we could assassinate our own generals, diplomats, spies, daughters, and ancillaries (such a pagan magicians). Is there a mod for such? Could it even be done?

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    Camel Lord Senior Member Capture The Flag Champion Martok's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Old Geezer
    I really do wish we could assassinate our own generals, diplomats, spies, daughters, and ancillaries (such a pagan magicians). Is there a mod for such? Could it even be done?
    Absolutely! It's called Medieval Total War.


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    [/ducks]
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  13. #13
    Ice stink there for a ham. Member Mystery Science Torture 3000 Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Super Hacky Sack Champion, Pencak Champion, Sperm Wars Champion, Monkey Diving Champion Yoyoma1910's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Martok
    Absolutely! It's called Medieval Total War.


    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    [/ducks]



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    Last edited by Yoyoma1910; 03-13-2008 at 00:06.

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    Member Member PBI's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Old Geezer
    I really do wish we could assassinate our own generals, diplomats, spies, daughters, and ancillaries (such a pagan magicians). Is there a mod for such? Could it even be done?
    With generals, you can always just load them up with as many bad ancillaries as you can and send them to their death in a hopeless battle. I tend to do this with the worthless excuses for human beings the computer tends to choose as my faction heir.

    Or you can load all the agents you don't want onto a ship and get it sunk.

    EDIT: Although it was fun being able to assassinate anyone, even your faction leader, in MTW, if only for the various messages you would get from your advisors, subtly questioning whether it was really such a good idea to order the death of your only remaining family member.
    Last edited by PBI; 03-13-2008 at 12:16.

  15. #15

    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    battle speeches are the best, anyone who has listened to a crazy general tell his men that the pink elephants and fairies will lead the first attack, or about how were doin the enemy a favor by killing them so they dont have to go back to their wives :D classic very classic
    "How come i cant make friends like that"
    "You need to get out more"
    "Im in another galaxy, how much more out can i get"

  16. #16

    Talking Re: Perverted general...?

    Quote Originally Posted by aimlesswanderer
    But this is much better than him saying "All animals are to be unharmed, bathed and gathered for my further perusal after the battle...."!!
    good grief, don't remind me of the ones where French generals get bagged about "...are good lovers, ask any pig, sheep or farmyard animals..." :-)

    it is disturbing enough to hear about the English generals and their "horns"
    Shinai Fodder

  17. #17
    Warlord Member Genaral Julis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    "The Gauls are scum..they deserve to die.Now brave romans, sons of mars....CHARGE!!!"
    -Me during the storming of Alesia.

    "I came. I saw. I conquared"-Julis Ceaser

  18. #18

    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Quote Originally Posted by General_Someone
    While playing my English campaign, I was forced to use my least favorite general. He had a lot of dread so I decided to listen to the speech, and this came out ....."And if you should happen to come across a particularly lovely young woman in need of my protection-well, scrub her clean and send her to my tent! Battles give me two things: a powerful thirst.....and the horn. Let's to this lark then lads!" I think my general became a pervert
    Sorry for no pic, can't get it to work
    he he, I had one that gave a speech similar to that. (I got him up to a rating of seven dread before he finally passed away) he said something like "if you find a woman to you're liking, leave her alone because rank has it's benefits and I get first crack at her" (not exactly what he said but something to that accord)

  19. #19
    Where's your head at? Member Galain_Ironhide's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    "And if you should happen to come across a particularly lovely young woman in need of my protection-well, scrub her clean and send her to my tent! Battles give me two things: a powerful thirst.....and the horn.
    LOL, I remember that speech well .

    King Harold gave that speech all the way across from Venice to Jerusalem as he sacked, raped and pillaged everything that stood in his way during my English GC.

    Poor bloke, how I miss him .

    - 'Let's finish the game.' - Josiah Gordon "Doc" Scurlock

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  20. #20

    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    It is amusing that one can tell how debauched the developers of a game are by the speeches they have their characters uttering.

  21. #21
    Knight of Fable... Member Mek Simmur al Ragaski's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    I might try this, both me and my general would find it... entertaining
    'It is not anger that drives me to destroy the Egyptian empire, but the promise of gold, a throne, and of all the ruling Pharaoh's concubines in a single night'
    -Me sacking the Egyptian cities...

  22. #22
    Member Member Brave's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    King Harold the sex machine.

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    Heaps Gooder Member aimlesswanderer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Quote Originally Posted by imnothere
    good grief, don't remind me of the ones where French generals get bagged about "...are good lovers, ask any pig, sheep or farmyard animals..." :-)

    it is disturbing enough to hear about the English generals and their "horns"
    I haven't heard the ones bagging the frogs, I guess I haven't fought them enough!

    At least there isn't a "Likes animals a bit too much" trait!
    "All things are born from darkness, and all things return to darkness". Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind


  24. #24

    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Slightly OT -

    I play the GC as Scots and all my generals give me like those VERY short speeches like "Ehmmm...Ummmm....Let's kills them all...or something" and thats pretty much it.

    I assume this is also faction dependent so I am curious anyone playing as Scotland and got anything longer than two sentences?

    - barvaz
    warlore.org - An online M2TW game data browser.

  25. #25

    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    I remember a general in rtw that was apparently senile in his speech at one point he said(in a whisper) "...where was I?"
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    kwait nait Member Monsieur Alphonse's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Quote Originally Posted by barvaz
    Slightly OT -

    I play the GC as Scots and all my generals give me like those VERY short speeches like "Ehmmm...Ummmm....Let's kills them all...or something" and thats pretty much it.

    I assume this is also faction dependent so I am curious anyone playing as Scotland and got anything longer than two sentences?

    - barvaz
    Not all factions have speeches creatd for them. The five starting factions have and the rest get those one liners like your Scots.
    Last edited by Monsieur Alphonse; 04-24-2008 at 08:52.
    Tosa Inu

  27. #27

    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Olaf The Great
    I remember a general in rtw that was apparently senile in his speech at one point he said(in a whisper) "...where was I?"
    I had one great general in rtw, who was afraid of his mother... That made for a few interesting speeches.

    Of course, after fighting him, his enemies were also afraid of the woman that gave birth to such a conqueror.

  28. #28
    Inquisitor Member Quickening's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ratwar
    I had one great general in rtw, who was afraid of his mother... That made for a few interesting speeches.

    Of course, after fighting him, his enemies were also afraid of the woman that gave birth to such a conqueror.
    I hear that in later life he owned a tavern where an unmoving figure could frequently be seen sitting at the window...
    Harbour you unclean thoughts

    Add me to X-Fire: quickening666

  29. #29

    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    As a historical accuracy, at the time there wouldn't have been anyone who considered this a perversion. A common theme of medieval warfare was 'the battle's not over until you've rolled in the sweat of the enemy's women', and the post battle rape and plunder was a substantial part of the 'payment' soldiers were promised when they marched off to war...in many cases that was all they got for their efforts. This general might have been considered 'greedy', but not perverted.

  30. #30
    Praefectus Fabrum Senior Member Anime BlackJack Champion, Flash Poker Champion, Word Up Champion, Shape Game Champion, Snake Shooter Champion, Fishwater Challenge Champion, Rocket Racer MX Champion, Jukebox Hero Champion, My House Is Bigger Than Your House Champion, Funky Pong Champion, Cutie Quake Champion, Fling The Cow Champion, Tiger Punch Champion, Virus Champion, Solitaire Champion, Worm Race Champion, Rope Walker Champion, Penguin Pass Champion, Skate Park Champion, Watch Out Champion, Lawn Pac Champion, Weapons Of Mass Destruction Champion, Skate Boarder Champion, Lane Bowling Champion, Bugz Champion, Makai Grand Prix 2 Champion, White Van Man Champion, Parachute Panic Champion, BlackJack Champion, Stans Ski Jumping Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Sofa Longjump Champion Seamus Fermanagh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Perverted general...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Timsup2nothin
    As a historical accuracy, at the time there wouldn't have been anyone who considered this a perversion. A common theme of medieval warfare was 'the battle's not over until you've rolled in the sweat of the enemy's women', and the post battle rape and plunder was a substantial part of the 'payment' soldiers were promised when they marched off to war...in many cases that was all they got for their efforts. This general might have been considered 'greedy', but not perverted.
    By medieval standards, I suspect the "perversion" was his request that the lass be bathed first....
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