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Thread: Perverted general...?
While playing my English campaign, I was forced to use my least favorite general. He had a lot of dread so I decided to listen to the speech, and this came out 
....."And if you should happen to come across a particularly lovely young woman in need of my protection-well, scrub her clean and send her to my tent! Battles give me two things: a powerful thirst.....and the horn. Let's to this lark then lads!" I think my general became a pervert
Sorry for no pic, can't get it to work
....."And if you should happen to come across a particularly lovely young woman in need of my protection-well, scrub her clean and send her to my tent! Battles give me two things: a powerful thirst.....and the horn. Let's to this lark then lads!" I think my general became a pervertSorry for no pic, can't get it to work
if he has the "Sexually Liberated" trait, then yes, he is =)
The horn, he he. He should have the trait
Arroused by Battle: -1 to your general's hitpoints
"This general often has to remove a portion of his armour due to.... discomfort."
Arroused by Battle: -1 to your general's hitpoints
"This general often has to remove a portion of his armour due to.... discomfort."
For some reason in my Venetian and Byzantine campaigns every General (no exaggeration) began as 'liberated', and ended up 'debauched'. I don't remember hearing those speeches though. Every speech just seemed to tell me about the enemies cannon and the devils farts.
Originally Posted by Caledonian Rhyfelwyr:
For some reason in my Venetian and Byzantine campaigns every General (no exaggeration) began as 'liberated', and ended up 'debauched'. I don't remember hearing those speeches though. Every speech just seemed to tell me about the enemies cannon and the devils farts.
sorry, it was a joke about how the trait is labeled. It's labeled as "Perverted", so if you wanted to modify via cheats someones stats, you'd enter "give_this Perverted 1" to make him liberated. Unfortunately, that trait has a self perpetuation (in vanilla anyways) so eventually if your unlucky enough, he will have the worst possible one, which takes away 4 piety, 2 authority, and 5 from public order.For some reason in my Venetian and Byzantine campaigns every General (no exaggeration) began as 'liberated', and ended up 'debauched'. I don't remember hearing those speeches though. Every speech just seemed to tell me about the enemies cannon and the devils farts.
I think guys with the 'insane' traits often have some humorous pre-battle speeches
Hehe I'll have to look out for him, what is his name?
But in truth it is historically accurate, if you captured a town in medieval times the generals were likely to allow soldiers to pillage the town, burn things, loot gold and have all the women you could ever want...
Shows how much of a SP noob I am, I didn't even know traits influenced the speeches! Too much MP and I forget the intricacies...back to SP for a while then 
Originally Posted by ReiseReise:
The horn, he he. He should have the trait
Arroused by Battle: -1 to your general's hitpoints
"This general often has to remove a portion of his armour due to.... discomfort."
Haha The horn, he he. He should have the trait
Arroused by Battle: -1 to your general's hitpoints
"This general often has to remove a portion of his armour due to.... discomfort."
Originally Posted by General_Someone:
While playing my English campaign, I was forced to use my least favorite general. He had a lot of dread so I decided to listen to the speech, and this came out ....."And if you should happen to come across a particularly lovely young woman in need of my protection-well, scrub her clean and send her to my tent! Battles give me two things: a powerful thirst.....and the horn. Let's to this lark then lads!" I think my general became a pervert
Sorry for no pic, can't get it to work
But this is much better than him saying "All animals are to be unharmed, bathed and gathered for my further perusal after the battle...."!!While playing my English campaign, I was forced to use my least favorite general. He had a lot of dread so I decided to listen to the speech, and this came out
....."And if you should happen to come across a particularly lovely young woman in need of my protection-well, scrub her clean and send her to my tent! Battles give me two things: a powerful thirst.....and the horn. Let's to this lark then lads!" I think my general became a pervertSorry for no pic, can't get it to work
I really do wish we could assassinate our own generals, diplomats, spies, daughters, and ancillaries (such a pagan magicians). Is there a mod for such? Could it even be done?
Originally Posted by Old Geezer:
I really do wish we could assassinate our own generals, diplomats, spies, daughters, and ancillaries (such a pagan magicians). Is there a mod for such? Could it even be done?
Absolutely! It's called Medieval Total War. I really do wish we could assassinate our own generals, diplomats, spies, daughters, and ancillaries (such a pagan magicians). Is there a mod for such? Could it even be done?
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Originally Posted by Martok:
Absolutely! It's called Medieval Total War.
Absolutely! It's called Medieval Total War.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Get back Ye!!!!
Back to the vaults from whence thoust cameth!
And take theith the mildewed mold-dust which ye hath carried into this chamber like a slug's slime!!!!
Aged death reaketh from thine ancient gob!!!! Back I say!!!!
Originally Posted by Old Geezer:
I really do wish we could assassinate our own generals, diplomats, spies, daughters, and ancillaries (such a pagan magicians). Is there a mod for such? Could it even be done?
With generals, you can always just load them up with as many bad ancillaries as you can and send them to their death in a hopeless battle. I tend to do this with the worthless excuses for human beings the computer tends to choose as my faction heir.I really do wish we could assassinate our own generals, diplomats, spies, daughters, and ancillaries (such a pagan magicians). Is there a mod for such? Could it even be done?
Or you can load all the agents you don't want onto a ship and get it sunk.
EDIT: Although it was fun being able to assassinate anyone, even your faction leader, in MTW, if only for the various messages you would get from your advisors, subtly questioning whether it was really such a good idea to order the death of your only remaining family member.
battle speeches are the best, anyone who has listened to a crazy general tell his men that the pink elephants and fairies will lead the first attack, or about how were doin the enemy a favor by killing them so they dont have to go back to their wives :D classic very classic
Originally Posted by aimlesswanderer:
But this is much better than him saying "All animals are to be unharmed, bathed and gathered for my further perusal after the battle...."!!
good grief, don't remind me of the ones where French generals get bagged about "...are good lovers, ask any pig, sheep or farmyard animals..." :-)But this is much better than him saying "All animals are to be unharmed, bathed and gathered for my further perusal after the battle...."!!
it is disturbing enough to hear about the English generals and their "horns"
Originally Posted by General_Someone:
While playing my English campaign, I was forced to use my least favorite general. He had a lot of dread so I decided to listen to the speech, and this came out ....."And if you should happen to come across a particularly lovely young woman in need of my protection-well, scrub her clean and send her to my tent! Battles give me two things: a powerful thirst.....and the horn. Let's to this lark then lads!" I think my general became a pervert
Sorry for no pic, can't get it to work
he he, I had one that gave a speech similar to that. (I got him up to a rating of seven dread before he finally passed away) he said something like "if you find a woman to you're liking, leave her alone because rank has it's benefits and I get first crack at her" (not exactly what he said but something to that accord)While playing my English campaign, I was forced to use my least favorite general. He had a lot of dread so I decided to listen to the speech, and this came out
....."And if you should happen to come across a particularly lovely young woman in need of my protection-well, scrub her clean and send her to my tent! Battles give me two things: a powerful thirst.....and the horn. Let's to this lark then lads!" I think my general became a pervertSorry for no pic, can't get it to work
Originally Posted by :
"And if you should happen to come across a particularly lovely young woman in need of my protection-well, scrub her clean and send her to my tent! Battles give me two things: a powerful thirst.....and the horn.
LOL, I remember that speech well "And if you should happen to come across a particularly lovely young woman in need of my protection-well, scrub her clean and send her to my tent! Battles give me two things: a powerful thirst.....and the horn.
. King Harold gave that speech all the way across from Venice to Jerusalem as he sacked, raped and pillaged everything that stood in his way during my English GC.
Poor bloke, how I miss him
.It is amusing that one can tell how debauched the developers of a game are by the speeches they have their characters uttering.
I might try this, both me and my general would find it... entertaining 
King Harold the sex machine.
Originally Posted by imnothere:
good grief, don't remind me of the ones where French generals get bagged about "...are good lovers, ask any pig, sheep or farmyard animals..." :-)
it is disturbing enough to hear about the English generals and their "horns"
I haven't heard the ones bagging the frogs, I guess I haven't fought them enough! good grief, don't remind me of the ones where French generals get bagged about "...are good lovers, ask any pig, sheep or farmyard animals..." :-)
it is disturbing enough to hear about the English generals and their "horns"
At least there isn't a "Likes animals a bit too much" trait!
Slightly OT -
I play the GC as Scots and all my generals give me like those VERY short speeches like "Ehmmm...Ummmm....Let's kills them all...or something" and thats pretty much it.
I assume this is also faction dependent so I am curious anyone playing as Scotland and got anything longer than two sentences?
- barvaz
I play the GC as Scots and all my generals give me like those VERY short speeches like "Ehmmm...Ummmm....Let's kills them all...or something" and thats pretty much it.
I assume this is also faction dependent so I am curious anyone playing as Scotland and got anything longer than two sentences?
- barvaz
I remember a general in rtw that was apparently senile in his speech at one point he said(in a whisper) "...where was I?"
Originally Posted by barvaz:
Slightly OT -
I play the GC as Scots and all my generals give me like those VERY short speeches like "Ehmmm...Ummmm....Let's kills them all...or something" and thats pretty much it.
I assume this is also faction dependent so I am curious anyone playing as Scotland and got anything longer than two sentences?
- barvaz
Not all factions have speeches creatd for them. The five starting factions have and the rest get those one liners like your Scots.Slightly OT -
I play the GC as Scots and all my generals give me like those VERY short speeches like "Ehmmm...Ummmm....Let's kills them all...or something" and thats pretty much it.
I assume this is also faction dependent so I am curious anyone playing as Scotland and got anything longer than two sentences?
- barvaz
Originally Posted by Olaf The Great:
I remember a general in rtw that was apparently senile in his speech at one point he said(in a whisper) "...where was I?"
I had one great general in rtw, who was afraid of his mother... That made for a few interesting speeches.I remember a general in rtw that was apparently senile in his speech at one point he said(in a whisper) "...where was I?"
Of course, after fighting him, his enemies were also afraid of the woman that gave birth to such a conqueror.
Originally Posted by Ratwar:
I had one great general in rtw, who was afraid of his mother... That made for a few interesting speeches.
Of course, after fighting him, his enemies were also afraid of the woman that gave birth to such a conqueror.
I hear that in later life he owned a tavern where an unmoving figure could frequently be seen sitting at the window...I had one great general in rtw, who was afraid of his mother... That made for a few interesting speeches.
Of course, after fighting him, his enemies were also afraid of the woman that gave birth to such a conqueror.
As a historical accuracy, at the time there wouldn't have been anyone who considered this a perversion. A common theme of medieval warfare was 'the battle's not over until you've rolled in the sweat of the enemy's women', and the post battle rape and plunder was a substantial part of the 'payment' soldiers were promised when they marched off to war...in many cases that was all they got for their efforts. This general might have been considered 'greedy', but not perverted.
Originally Posted by Timsup2nothin:
As a historical accuracy, at the time there wouldn't have been anyone who considered this a perversion. A common theme of medieval warfare was 'the battle's not over until you've rolled in the sweat of the enemy's women', and the post battle rape and plunder was a substantial part of the 'payment' soldiers were promised when they marched off to war...in many cases that was all they got for their efforts. This general might have been considered 'greedy', but not perverted.
By medieval standards, I suspect the "perversion" was his request that the lass be bathed first....As a historical accuracy, at the time there wouldn't have been anyone who considered this a perversion. A common theme of medieval warfare was 'the battle's not over until you've rolled in the sweat of the enemy's women', and the post battle rape and plunder was a substantial part of the 'payment' soldiers were promised when they marched off to war...in many cases that was all they got for their efforts. This general might have been considered 'greedy', but not perverted.
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