Ancient Humor

[Spartan198]

What do you get when you combine the island of Lesbos with civil revolt...?

Lesbian rebels.
(No offense,ladies,just a little wordplay humor)

What do you guys have?

[Marshal Murat]

So a Persian, a Greek, and a Spartan walk into a bar, and the bartender says "What is this, some kinda joke?"

[Martok]

So a Persian, a Greek, and a Spartan walk into a bar, and the bartender says "What is this, some kinda joke?"

Ah, meta-humor. Gotta love it.

[Vladimir]

So a Persian, a Greek, and a Spartan walk into a bar, and the bartender says "What is this, some kinda joke?"

Huh, Spartans aren't Greek?

[Mouzafphaerre]

.
I believe by Greek he meant Attic, that is Athenan.
.

[Vladimir]

So Spartans are basement Greeks (or closet...y' know)

[Jaume]

Huh, Spartans aren't Greek?

They speak greek language too but they were politically organised in a "πόλις", an independent city-state.

Iulius Caesar to their legionaries:

- I have two news, one good and one bad. Which do you want I say first?
- The good one, the good one!
- Well, the good new is that today we're gonna change our underpants.
(Legionaries were been fighting for three years in the Gaul with the same underpants)
- Long live Caesar!! Roma vincit!! And which is the bad one?
- Well, you're gonna change your underpants with Catus, Catus with Lupus, Lupus with Scipio, etc.




A roman was walking in the streets of Rome, and then suddenly he saw a thing. He stopped and observed what he was going to crush, he smells it, he touch it with his finger, he sucks his finger and then he says:

- Oh, it's a *poop* . I'm so lucky I hadn't tread on it.

[KarlXII]

The second one is hard to understand, so I'm assuming a smiling flower was the object.

[Jaume]

The second one is hard to understand, so I'm assuming a smiling flower was the object.

An administrator had edited it. I understand it; the word was not very kind.

Anyway, I edited too now. But if it's censured again, just let me say that is something brown and creamy .

[Tamur]

Cleopatra and Mark Antony stood dejectedly on the deck of their ship, fleeing from the horrors of the battle of Actium, and from Octavian hot on their heels. Cleopatra was disconsolate. "Why didn't I see before now how weak you are, you pitiful wretch!?"

Antony sighed and answered, "Simple, my dear. You are the queen of denial."

[Spartan198]

Cleopatra and Mark Antony stood dejectedly on the deck of their ship, fleeing from the horrors of the battle of Actium, and from Octavian hot on their heels. Cleopatra was disconsolate. "Why didn't I see before now how weak you are, you pitiful wretch!?"

Antony sighed and answered, "Simple, my dear. You are the queen of denial."

[Mouzafphaerre]

Cleopatra and Mark Antony stood dejectedly on the deck of their ship, fleeing from the horrors of the battle of Actium, and from Octavian hot on their heels. Cleopatra was disconsolate. "Why didn't I see before now how weak you are, you pitiful wretch!?"

Antony sighed and answered, "Simple, my dear. You are the queen of denial."

.

.

[Tamur]

A belated thanks to everyone who was willing to have their jokes included in the Gahzette. I'll try not to raid this thread too often... well, I will, but I had to claim that I would appear thoughtful and non-predatory.

[WarMachine187]

there was a roman,a greek, and a gaul who were traveling through asia togethor.While traveling, they were captured by a tribe of amazons.The amazons,taking the group back to their village,prepared to beat them.The leader of the village first went to the greek and asked him if he wanted anything on his back to ease the pain."Oil" replied the greek.So they put oil on his back and gave him ten lashes.huge welts appeared on the greeks back and they through him in jail.They came to the gaul and asked him the same thing."I take nothing" he replied and took his lashes wit'hout a wimper.After throwing the gaul in jail,they came to the roman and asked him the same thing."Ill take the gaul"he replied.

[Tamur]

"Ill take the gaul" he replied.

I shouldn't read this thread while eating breakfast...

[CountArach]

So a Persian, a Greek, and a Spartan walk into a bar, and the bartender says "What is this, some kinda joke?"

Hilarious!

[Flavius Clemens]

Plato, Aristotle, Socrates and Pythagoras met up in Athens and got into debate about knowledge, and whether with their necessarily finite experience they could validly reach any conclusions about anything. Eventually they decided to broaden their experience, each spend a year exploring the world and meet up again in Rhodes.

Plato set off to the north, wandering around more or less at random as he sought new information and experiences. Aristotle headed east, again travelling fairly aimlessly but always open to new things. Socrates went south, bouncing around from place to place without any destination in mind and Pythagoras west in much the same style.

Eventually a full year later they made their rendezvous in Rhodes and resumed their debate, comparing notes and arguing long into the night. Eventually they realised what they had learned from their random wandering, all roams lead to Rhodes...

[Spartan198]

...all roams lead to Rhodes...

[Martok]

all roams lead to Rhodes...

[groan] That was Gregoshi-esque.

[Big_John]

how was the roman empire cut into two?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

with a pair of ceasers.