EB Jokes

[Zimm4973]

What is the only force on earth that can stop 100 elephants dead in there tracks and win the battle on his own

Chuck Norris

[pezhetairoi]

I really don't get it. Who's this Chuck Norris person everyone is talking about? What's he famous for?

[Obelics]

I really don't get it. Who's this Chuck Norris person everyone is talking about? What's he famous for?

i dont get the joke too, anyway Chuck Norris is just famous for having been beaten so bad by the only and true Bruce Lee on the Colosseum in Rome:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLO1YIWQuXE
OYOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Ibrahim]

but he died in that fight with bruce lee (in the movie that is)

[Dhampir]

i dont get the joke too, anyway Chuck Norris is just famous for having been beaten so bad by the only and true Bruce Lee on the Colosseum in Rome:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLO1YIWQuXE
OYOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Chuck only lost because his true power is contained in the beard. Like Samson in the Bible, but with facial hair and not hair hair.

[Ayce]

How do you know Chuck Norris was in EB?

If only the rebels are left.

[Metalstrm]

What is a unit of 80 Chuck Norrises (or should it be Norrii?) called?






Gaesatae.

[Ibrahim]

thought there were 60 in a unit...oh well

[pezhetairoi]

That's before they pass through a town. After that there are 80.

[Gebeleisis]

how do you call 1 chuck norris and an empty europe?
an empire
how do you call 2 chucks and an empty europe?
European Wars!
how do you call 3 chucks and the whole world?
The Apocalipse!

sorry for offtopic but i like chuck norris discussions :D

[The Persian Cataphract]

Ah Jesus, you dragged Surena over again...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Surena feels cheated, obviously. He really does think Chuck Norris, and especially Chuck Norris facts are over-rated and should rather be ascribed to himself, especially his virtues in bed and of scaling walls... Moustaches... And of course how it cures cancer by even the slightest touch.

Of course, he's still being bitter. He becomes a bronze statue... Almost like "I annihilated almost forty-thousand Romans in Assyria and all I got was this piece of shit shirt".

[Metalstrm]

How many Chuck Norrii does it take to turn a lightbulb?

2. One to hold the lightbulb and another to roundhouse kick the Earth.

Sorry, couldn't help it.

[Ayce]

How many Chuck Norrii does it take to turn a lightbulb?

2. One to hold the lightbulb and another to roundhouse kick the Earth.

Sorry, couldn't help it.

LOL

[L.C.Cinna]

How many Chuck Norrii does it take to turn a lightbulb?

2. One to hold the lightbulb and another to roundhouse kick the Earth.

Sorry, couldn't help it.

Actually the plural of Chuck Norris would be Chuckes Norres lol

[HFox]

Caesar went to his doctor and told him he was having a problem, as he was unable to get his manhood erect.

The doctor checked him out then told him that the muscles around the base of the organ were damaged from a previous viral infection caught on campaign and there was nothing he could do using medica romana. However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might work from Africa, if he was willing to take the risk. The treatment consisted of planting muscle tissues from an elephant's trunk into his 'old fella'.

Caesar thought about it for a while. The thought of having to go through life without sex was too much for him to bear. So, Caesar decided to go for it. A few weeks after the operation while recovering, Caesar had to ship to Egypt.

While there he planned a romantic evening with Cleopatra. In the middle of dinner he felt a strong stirring in his loins that continued to the point of being extremely painful. To release the pressure he undid his loin cloth and his penis sprang out, slid across the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and returned to his loin cloth.

Cleopatra was stunned at first, but then with a sly grin on her face said, 'That was incredible! Can you do that again?'

With tears in his eyes Caesar replied, 'I think I can, but I am not sure if another bread roll will fit up my arse'.

[Disciple of Tacitus]

[pezhetairoi]

Oh eww. XD XD That one most definitely deserves a balloon.

[Metalstrm]

Ok, this cracked me up real bad, and I quote:

"In Pirates of the Carribean, someone on screen said "This is Madness!" and some random dude in the audience yelled "Madness? This is SPARTAA!"
And then sat down. Everyone laughed..."

[Gebeleisis]

lol to the caesar one!

and metal i think that was a blast when you heard it at the cinema

[Barry]

Ok, this cracked me up real bad, and I quote:

"In Pirates of the Carribean, someone on screen said "This is Madness!" and some random dude in the audience yelled "Madness? This is SPARTAA!"
And then sat down. Everyone laughed..."

I have seen 300 but I fail to see the humour in that, maybe people were laughing at him..

[Metalstrm]

I have seen 300 but I fail to see the humour in that, maybe people were laughing at him..

Dude, it killed me.

I dunno, everyone has a different sense of humor.

You just have to imagine him popping up and saying it out loud. Christ. Even thinking about it now cracks me up.

[Ibrahim]

Ah Jesus, you dragged Surena over again...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Surena feels cheated, obviously. He really does think Chuck Norris, and especially Chuck Norris facts are over-rated and should rather be ascribed to himself, especially his virtues in bed and of scaling walls... Moustaches... And of course how it cures cancer by even the slightest touch.

Of course, he's still being bitter. He becomes a bronze statue... Almost like "I annihilated almost forty-thousand Romans in Assyria and all I got was this piece of shit shirt".

I got to have all the links to your Surena jokes-they're Hilarious!!!

[Gebeleisis]

bumpin louder

[Jaume]

I really don't get it. Who's this Chuck Norris person everyone is talking about? What's he famous for?

He is a very bad actor who appeared in tv series like "Walker". All the internet comedy that is around him is just because his top guy looking.

[Cyclops]

One for the scholars.

Two Lictors walk into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long fasces?"

[Sarcasm]

[Jaume]

One for the scholars.

Two Lictors walk into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long fasces?"

[Hax]

Well, there was this guy in The Lord of the Rings Online who'se name was Garum.

[Ibrahim]

Well, there was this guy in The Lord of the Rings Online who'se name was Garum.

GAR-um? that's just not right!

[Hax]

"So eh...do you like your time as rotten fish entrails?"