EB Jokes

[Ibrahim]

(thanks o they of the really good jokes, you helped)-and no I'm not gay:

a drunk byzantine philosopher in constantinople remembered the glorious days of the republic/empire (EB's timeframe). here's what he said to his lover:


on the present situation, I say this: theodora's a whore, and justinian is without sleep(as a result)-I say stick to boys

on the good days, I say this: "credo alteram" "give me another" (stick); let me be more detailed:

on caesar, I say this: caesar loved the king of bythinia, and took it up the A** for him (it's a pun)

on Cato the Censor: Cato was too straight-he must have had a broom shoved through him (no not litteraly-think lower)

on Hannibal barca: "credo alteram"

on why zoroastrians hate the romans: they can't keep Ahura mazda's flame (actually vestal flame) lit-the virgins claim to be too "busy"

on Cicero: see how he talks in such a cockey matter-I say he was too much cock

on why Athens was too easy to conquer: the Athenaioi, a people brave in words, but in battle braver in surrender.

on why the Makedonians were easy: the romans sent in the wine, call girls and little boys battalions

on why Gaesatae were beaten: they killed their women and tried to bang the roman soldiers (thinking it was the other way)

on Claudius' wife:"credo alteram"

on the "glory of the empire": where's the glory in all that? it's just one person taking it up the A** for one another....and the roman's proved the best at making people people do that