Diplomats - What's the Point?

[Spartan198]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eMkth8FWno

ARTHUR:
You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Camelot.
You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
[silence]
You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.

BLACK KNIGHT:
None shall pass.

ARTHUR:
What?

BLACK KNIGHT:
None shall pass.

ARTHUR:
I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.

BLACK KNIGHT:
Then you shall die.

ARTHUR:
I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!

BLACK KNIGHT:
I move for no man.

ARTHUR:
So be it!

ARTHUR and BLACK KNIGHT fighting:
Aaah!, hiyaah!, etc.
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]

ARTHUR:
Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

BLACK KNIGHT:
'Tis but a scratch.

ARTHUR:
A scratch? Your arm's off!

BLACK KNIGHT:
No, it isn't.

ARTHUR:
Well, what's that, then?

BLACK KNIGHT:
I've had worse.

ARTHUR:
You liar!

BLACK KNIGHT:
Come on, you pansy!
Huyah!
Hiyaah!
Aaaaaaaah!
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]

ARTHUR:
Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy mer--

BLACK KNIGHT kicking ARTHUR:
Hah!
Come on, then.

ARTHUR:
What?

BLACK KNIGHT:
Have at you!
[kick]

ARTHUR:
Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.

BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh, had enough, eh?

ARTHUR:
Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.

BLACK KNIGHT:
Yes, I have.

ARTHUR:
Look!

BLACK KNIGHT:
'Tis but a flesh wound.
[kick]

ARTHUR:
Look, stop that.

BLACK KNIGHT:
Chicken!
[kick]
Chickennn!

ARTHUR:
Look, I'll have your leg.
[is kicked]
Right!
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right leg off]

BLACK KNIGHT:
Right. I'll do you for that!

ARTHUR:
You'll what?

BLACK KNIGHT:
Come here!

ARTHUR:
What are you going to do, bleed on me?

BLACK KNIGHT:
I'm invincible!

ARTHUR:
You're a looney.

BLACK KNIGHT:
The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then.
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's last leg off]

ARTHUR:
Oh? All right, we'll call it a draw.
Come, Patsy.

BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

That sums up RTW diplomacy.

[Centurio Nixalsverdrus]

I recall one instance from my 0.81 Mak campaign and one from my 1.0 Carthie campaign were I managed to get a peace treaty after a war of several rounds, including battles.

The first was Maks vs. Ptollies and the peace afterward lasted for about 2 or 3 years. I forgot a single FM in a fort directly on their border in the middle of nowhere. I think they attacked me again because they just couldn't resist.

The second instance was Carthies vs. Sweboz. I had all of southern Gaul to Helvetia. After a few very big battles, and lots of aborted sieges of Aventicos and another fort, I offered them 10,000 mnai and the unbelievable happened: They really accepted. But this happened only 3 turns ago, so I have no idea how long it will last...